Oregon ends ban on self-service gas pumps after 72 years: Confused motorists turn to ‘how-to’ guides and station attendants’ union slams the change as ‘blatant cash grab’
Daily Mail | 8/05/23 | Keith Griffith

Motorists in Oregon are expressing excitement and confusion after a 72-year ban on self-serve gasoline pumps was lifted on Friday.

Across the Beaver State, drivers took to social media to boast of pumping their own gas, while local new outlets published step-by-step instructions to help bewildered first-timers.

The change came after Governor Tina Kotek signed a bill allowing people across the state to choose between having an attendant pump gas or doing it themselves. The law took immediate effect.

That leaves New Jersey as the only US state that prohibits motorists from pumping their own gas. A few countries also ban it, including South Africa, where attendants offer to check fluid levels and clean the windshield, and expect to be tipped.

‘Today was day one where we were allowed to pump our own gas, I was super excited to go and do this myself,’ said TikTok user @pnw.bethany in a video on Friday.

However, she was disappointed to discover that she had accidentally pulled into a ‘full service’ lane at the gas station, where attendants still do the pumping, and vowed to return to the ‘self-service’ lane for the next fill-up.

Oregon residents were divided on the change, with some expressing support, and others skepticism.

‘It’s about time. It’s long overdue,’ said Karen Cooper, who lives in Salem, said shortly before the bill was signed.

‘I’ve spent a lot of time in California,’ Cooper said. ‘I know how to pump my own. Everybody should know how to pump their own gas.’

Kacy Willson, 32, who has lived in Oregon her whole life, said she doesn’t have much interest in pumping her own gas. She’s only tried it a few times in her life.

I can’t even fathom anymore what the point is of pointing out Biden’s lies. You point them out, and the sun comes up the next day, and he tells the same ones and more newly-invented ones. And they get broadcast, without comment. Why even waste the time researching them? God bless you, Dan Greenfield and others, but what’s the result of pointing out his falsehoods?

I cut the federal debt by $1.7 trillion in two years.  (Applause.)  More than any other president of the United States has come close.  The last president increased it by $4 trillion. 

I love it when I get criticized for forgiving debt for people whose income is not above $60,000 for college.  (Applause.) 

My wife wrote a book, not about politics at all — they took it out of libraries in Georgia.  As we say in my religion, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.”

— Remarks by President Biden at a Campaign Reception | Freeport, ME | July 29, 2023

Consider me a priest.

Or a lawyer.

Or a spouse.

But I am willing to divulge privileged communications from FrankJ to you for the right price. I’m looking at you, Adam Schiff.

Two words: Witness Projection.

Not from the Babylon Bee:

Zoom Tells Employees To Return to Office for Work
NyPost | 08/05/2023 | Patrick Reilly

Zoom is asking all of its employees to return to the office for the first time since the COVID-19 pandemic began, when the tech company blew up as one of the main means of communication for people forced to work from home.

Zoom, which remains a leader in the post-pandemic remote work trend, is now asking all employees within 50 miles of a company office to go in at least two days a week on a hybrid schedule.

Kind of like a taxi company telling workers to work from home.

Or the Congressional Ethics Committee.

Media Chastises IMAO For Mentioning It in Non-Elegiac Tone

(At least it isn’t a repeat.)

President Reportedly Wants a Taste — White House Refuses To Clarify

Repair-ations Not Likely, Though