Not made up for a Straight Line: an actual ad from Yahoo (I refuse to begrudge them an exclamation point):
MasterClass is a rich, deep repository of learning, growing, creativity and fun, all taught by experts in their field, including Hillary Clinton’s course on resilience.
Hillary Clinton’s MasterClass includes 16 installments covering a vast array of topics, from discovering your mission to organizing your life. She even shares the never-before-heard speech that she would’ve given had she been elected president in 2016.

What Could You Learn From Hillary?
How to fall on your sword without intent.
What Could You Learn From Hillary?
The proper cleaning procedure for a hard drive.
You mean like with a cloth or something.
What Could You Learn From Hillary?
How to test a cell phone using only a hammer.
What Could You Learn From Hillary?
How to defame an individual with the moniker of Monica.
🎵
“Moniker of Monica,
Say, have you met Monica?
Monica the Latitude Lady…
She has curves that men adore so
And some tonsils even more so
Monica, Oh, Monica,
Play me like a harmonica
Monica’s the swallows in fall – –
Sperm a lot but spurn not Monica!”
🎵
What Could You Learn From Hillary?
Basket weaving.
What Could You Learn From Hillary?
all about AuH2O.
What Could You Learn From Hillary?
How to get people to pay me to hear my loser speech…
What Could You Learn From Hillary?
Pantsuit coordination… if I was a diversity hire for Biden’s government…
— Kinda Sorta Bob B Like Botique
“She even shares the never-before-heard speech that she would’ve given had she been elected president in 2016.”
You screwed up, you trusted me. You chose the form of the destructor. And your little dog too. Suicide Hotline is a fully owned subsidiary of the Clinton Foundation. Cackle cackle cackle.
What Could You Learn From Hillary?
Don’t get overconfident and withhold those payments to Dominion.
How to get investigators to say it looks like a suicide.
What Could You Learn From Hillary?
How to lie.
How to lie about lying.
How to best use lying to get ALMOST anything.
What Could You Learn From Hillary?
When silence is good for your health, capisce?
How to keep your husband and co-conspirators happy, in line and unindicted..