My resolution was to send my buddy Trump a strong message thru X (mission accomplished) asking him to make Jan. 6th a national holiday in our fight against the commies…oh, and make bacon the national food instead of hamburgers, apple pie and Mac&Cheese.
One of my resolutions is to never go to Minnesota. They are probably going to have to change the name of the Minnesota Vikings to the Minnesota Muslims. (per ShariaLaw)
My resolution is a complicated scheme involving mistaken identity, a not-so-private yearning, and a certain broadcaster of pleasing proportions – a resolution that I haven’t yet broken, because it has utterly broken me…
One of the ‘Resolutions’ of mine that didn’t make the cut:
I vow to be on the cover of ‘Men’s Health’ by March of 2026 with the highest testosterone level of any 70 y.o. man alive.
Hah! I didn’t even make a New Year’s resolution this year.
Me neither. The last resolution I made was to stop making resolutions. So I guess I haven’t broken it yet.
Last year I resolved to keep up with DuoLingo everyday, which inhale, though I really haven’t gained any proficiency in Irish.
You need to start out with just a little each day and add a bit to your daily routine each week until you work your way up to 2 quarts a day.
My resolution was to send my buddy Trump a strong message thru X (mission accomplished) asking him to make Jan. 6th a national holiday in our fight against the commies…oh, and make bacon the national food instead of hamburgers, apple pie and Mac&Cheese.
I broke all my resolutions, but I blame Trump.
One of my resolutions is to never go to Minnesota. They are probably going to have to change the name of the Minnesota Vikings to the Minnesota Muslims. (per ShariaLaw)
Minnesota Pirates seems more appropriate.
Pittsburg wouldn’t like it though and would immediately, with their fans, descend upon the Muslims with the full force of their Terrible Towels.
Call them the Somali Pirates then, the state is headed that way in any event.
My resolution is a complicated scheme involving mistaken identity, a not-so-private yearning, and a certain broadcaster of pleasing proportions – a resolution that I haven’t yet broken, because it has utterly broken me…
“Complicated”! It is more convoluted than Ocean’s Eleven playing Mousetrap.
One of the ‘Resolutions’ of mine that didn’t make the cut:
I vow to be on the cover of ‘Men’s Health’ by March of 2026 with the highest testosterone level of any 70 y.o. man alive.
I resolved to get some of those Somalian Simoleons ™, but it was too late.
I wonder what the current exchange rate is for the simoleon right now.