* STRAW POLL!!! — two words that together mean excitement!
So Michelle Bachmann won the Iowa straw poll and spent her victory speech staring at everyone with her crazy eyes. And Ron Paul was a close second and stared at everyone with his even crazier eyes!
What is this stupid thing anyway? You have to pay to vote for your candidate or something? And it’s obviously barely any better than an internet poll if Ron Paul did really well in it.
Still, despite its apparent pointlessness, I guess it means something to some people because Tim Pawlenty came in third and has decided to drop out. That’s too bad, because he really was a serious candidate with a lot to… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
* Rick Perry jumped in the race Saturday. What we know about him is that Texas is leading in job growth, his state had a credit upgrade while he was governor, and while walking his dog he shot a coyote with a concealed handgun. Also, quite important for the primary, he’s not Romney. Being not Romney isn’t a deal breaker with Republicans, but it is helpful.
BTW, I really like Perry’s line: “I promise to make Washington inconsequential in your lives.” That’s about the best promise I’ve ever heard from a politician. He better not break it! ::shakes fist::
Intrade already has Perry as the front runner for the Republican primary, so you can expect the attacks from liberals to really begin in earnest against Perry. He has a Texan drawl, so they’ll probably call him stupid. And they’ll probably find some legislative idea that they can characterize as evil. So they’ll be screaming how he’s stupid and evil in no time. The only thing they won’t be able to do is make any sort of coherent argument against Perry being a much better president than Obama.
* Speaking of Obama, what’s that scamp up to? Oh he’s trying to create more jobs — this time for real! And he’s figured out what his problem is: He needed a new department. A Department of Jobs. What a genius! Why didn’t anyone else figure this out? All we needed to get jobs is some new government department. And the new department will totally depart stuff until there are jobs everywhere.
Here’s a good question for the next Obama press conference: “What’s a job?” I’m guessing Obama can’t even define the word.
* So are people impressed with Obama’s new flailing around to try and make jobs? No. His approval rating has now dropped below 40%. Who are the 39% who approve of Obama? Maybe they’re people who don’t like working. Or terrorists who want to see the country destroyed. Or they didn’t understand the question.
Anyway, apparently no president other than Harry Truman has had an approval rating this low this late in his presidency and been reelected. So the obvious next move for Obama: Nuke someone.
* Herman Cain has apparently been quoting the Pokemon movie in campaign speeches. Personally, I think that’s pretty cool. Maybe he should color more of his speeches with Pokemon quotes:
“Peace, liberty, justice… gotta catch ’em all!”
* So there is some sort of movement to get Bert and Ernie gay married. Anyone ever think about what this sort of stuff has done for homophobia? I mean, the message is that if you see any two men interact closely, then you’re supposed to assume they’re gay. Even if they’re puppets. And they want to throw kids in the middle of all this? I guess some will say they’re trying to prepare kids for the real world, but if that’s true, when does the Count get treated for OCD?
* Chicago is expanding a program to give people more places to dump their newborn babies without legal consequences. Well, it’s better than abortion, at least. Still, do these cities like Chicago ever wonder if their liberal ideas are somewhat to blame for the state they wind up in? I mean, they all have these big ideas to end poverty for good, but poverty only gets worse and we end up with, “So here’s where you can dump your baby.” So maybe liberal ideas are a bit to blame? No? Well, maybe you can admit they never give you the results you want? No? It’s because other people are to blame? Oh, it’s the Tea Party’s fault. That makes sense.
* Wisdom of the Day: “Hipsters prefer the ‘previously unreleased’ Kraken.” –Alex Baze
* Apparently Glenn Reynolds had his tenth blogiversary for Instapundit and I missed it. Well, a belated congratulations. I still remember his advice to me when I first asked about becoming a blogger. He said, “Just put the puppy inside, close the lid tight, hit ‘liquefy’, and then drink up the contents and the dark power of Satan will run through you, allowing you blogging success.” It was nice of him to give me advice when he was already so busy that day. The police never did find out what happened to those hobos.
Bert and Ernie are gay? The Smurf’s are commies? I suppose Capt. Huffnpuff was a pedophile.
I knew it! I knew Bert and Ernie were teh ghey!!! I’m constantly on the watch for this sort of thing! I’m a terrorist and all…la la la la la la la la!!!! fires AK-74 in air…wonders why bullets are hitting people all around him as gravity takes over because he’s a moron living in the 4th century… Mitt Romney and Rick Perry are teh ghey too!!!
Capt. Huffnpuff…I mean…c’mon! That’s better than Peterpuffer!!!
I’ve decided to not even pretend to be excited by any of the candidates. My hope is that my expectations will thus be exceeded.
Someone does need to tell Mr. Perry, however, that none of us will cry if the government is very consequential indeed in the lives of illegal immigrants.
I recall an old country song about the death of a Hobo named Billy. Was said song written by Mr. Reynolds and not by Jimmie Rodgers as was previously assumed?
Frank: “What’s a job?”
Obama: “It’s something the government pays someone very well to do very poorly.”
Remember the good old days when Jerry Falwell was a crank for insisting a PBS kids’ show character was gay and was being used to push a gay agenda?
Maybe Perry should start quoting from movies like “Unforgiven” in HIS speeches!
[continued]
Frank: “Can I have one of those jobs?”
Obama: “Are you in a union?”
Frank: “No.”
Obama: “Are you a communist?”
Frank: “No.”
Obama: “A tax cheat?”
Frank: “No.”
Obama: “A Hollywood celebrity?”
Frank: “No.”
Obama: “Did you contribute to my campaign?”
Frank: “No.”
Obama: “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”
I warned Frank about the Sesame Street influence coming up in his life when SarahK was pregnant. I was right.
Imagine the mayhem when Herman Cain declares it is time to whip out his Pokeballs on the Rachael Madcow show. More politicains need to use video game referances that strikes fear into msnbc hosts.
The Chicago Machine likes the baby drop off system. More voters.
They thought about having Jimmy as a ghey show case for PBS, but then they found out his wiener is the size of a string from the String Theory in Quantum Physics. To give you an idea of how big that is, if you blew (no pun intended) an atom up to the size of the Universe, a string would be the size of an average tree. Sorry Jimmy!!!
Bert and Ernie are not teh ghey! Herbert Birdsfoot, however, is teh phoofta.
A Department of Jobs sounds great! Just hire 13.9 million people at $100,000 each and the problem is solved. A Trillion 4 is not much, is it?
I always wondered about teh ga-hay-nessss of Burt and Ernie. The one kept stealing the others nose.
“Chicago is expanding a program to give people more places to dump their newborn babies without legal consequences.”
Except for those of us that have to suffer with the urchins once they hit the White House.
obsama believes that a job is when you 3 putt.
So obsama bought a fancy bus at taxpayer expense to take him around campaigning. Being beneath her, Sasquatch is taking a private taxpayer jet to all of the stops.
Will obsama need to sit in the back of the bus?
Ivan, Son of Ivan is correct. The point of the jobs department is not to create value, the point is to redistribute wealth. I volunteer to take the first job as “wealth redistributionist.” My job duties will consist of spending the salary I get from the federal government, and forgetting to file tax returns (because that would just be a silly waste of time; the tax money comes back to me anyway). (Also, the money that would otherwise be wasted on taxes is needed to pay union dues, to ensure that the party who appoints my jobs czar – peace be upon him or her! – keeps getting re-elected.)
Dept. Of Jobs? Carefule there Obama! The Dept. Of Labor will file a union grievance.. we don’t need no stinking Dept of Jobs SCABS!
@Ivan “Just hire 13.9 million people at $100,000 each and the problem is solved.”
Racist! If everyone had a job, who would we redistribute your wealth to? Why your tax dollars may be used constructively. We can’t have that. Racists!
Ivan…thanks!!! After the last couple of trillion dollar TARP and emergency “we have to do this today or the universe is going to explode” spending bills, now you come up with this? Like where were you when we needed you? You racist Tea Party Terrorist extremist you!!!
how does that story about Thatcher go? She tasked one of her staffers to solve a problem so he created a department to deal with it. She calls him into her office and says: ” You idiot i told you to solve the problem, and you now have a group of peoples who’s jobs depend on the problem continuing.”
Rick Perry endorsed Al Gore!!! Yea…he’s gonna really kick some butt in the Republican party. I told you he was teh ghey!!!
[Rick Perry was a Democrat 23 years before running for president. Reagan was a Democrat 14 years before running for president. Unless you also think Reagan is “teh ghey”, then I think you’re the “teh ghey” for coming up with such an idiotic argument. -Ed.]
Hi -Ed! Long time, no see!
Even a sane Democrat would not have endorsed Al Gore!!! Al Gore? I mean, THAT Al Gore? I’m not buying it! Perry is dead to me!
Wow…just wow!!! Now I’m called teh ghey…by ED! That’s low down and high smellin’! High Praise indeed!!!
It takes that old cuss Ed to put that crazy Minnesotan in his place, I tell you what.
And for Obama’s next trick, he’s appointing a cabinet secretary to head the Department for Eliminating Departments Department, to oversee all the cut-to-the-boning deficit reduction we know the president wants.