“It’s good to finally meet with you,” Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said to President Obama, “and I am happy you didn’t insist on any preconditions. I just want to start these talks by saying there was no Holocaust.”
Obama sat there silently.
“Furthermore,” Ahmadinejad continued, “I will destroy Israel and dance around its stinking corpse!”
Obama said nothing.
“I also plan to obtain nuclear weapons and use them against the Jews. Or America. Maybe against Jewish Americans.”
Obama did not respond.
“By the way, in honor of your visit, we’re hanging a teenager for being a homosexual and stoning a woman for being raped. Then we’re throwing a small child into a pit of snakes for conspiring with the infidel Elmo.”
Obama continued to be silent, not even looking directly at Ahmadinejad but somewhat past him.
“I will destroy America!” Ahmadinejad shouted. “I will then dance around its stinking corpse which will be a much bigger stinking corpse than Israel’s — like a beached whale. And I will be able to destroy America because I have the power of Grayskull… I mean Allah!”
Obama said not a word.
Ahmadinejad shot to his feet. “I mock and deride America’s freedom! I spit on it, and I spit on you!” He spat on Obama.
Obama didn’t even move.
“I will destroy everything you hold dear. Freedom will be destroyed! I think so little of you and your country that I shall urinate upon you!” Ahmadinejad pulled down his pants and peed on Obama’s leg. “There! I am urinating on you and… Oh. I got a little on myself. This may have been a little overboard. Anyway, I have urinated mainly on you; do you have nothing to say?”
Obama had nothing to say.
“Furthermore…” Ahmadinejad grabbed one of Obama’s shoes and pulled it off. He then squatted over it. “I am now defecating in your shoe! This is how little I think of you and your country! Say something, fool! Say something now that I have pooed in your shoe!”
Obama finally looked directly at Ahmadinejad and motioned for him to come closer. When Ahmadinejad did, Obama whispered in his ear, “They’re still loading my teleprompter.”
Ahmadinejad looked around and then whispered back, “Well… how long will that take?”
“I don’t know. It seems to be malfunctioning. It could take a few minutes.”
Ahmadinejad thought for a moment and then whispered, “So what do we talk about until then?”
“Um… well… did you see Gossip Girl last night?”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
*btw….did you mean past?*
This is golden. Somewhere right now Ahmadinejad is taking notes.
Ahmadinejad crossed the room and retrieved something for President Obama
saying, “Look here, I think your teleprompter is inside this bucket.
Does your head fit in that thing?”
^ LOL
At least we have the IMWs to get us through these tough next few years.
In the first minutes after this was posted, all I could think about was Obamadinejad’s head was stuck in a bucket and THAT’s why he never responded. So, I didn’t comment. But now I realize it’s because my blue-tooth, audio teleprompter thingy had fallen out of my ear.
You missed your calling. Wait, Frank TV! I just made the connection! Or did Caliendo rip off your idea?
Now imagine if that was President Thompson he was talking to, Ahmadinejad wouldn’t get out three words before his head exploded.
Chilling…
But you’d think the POTUS would have the finest teleprompter technology available, like in eyeglass form. Of course the typing monkey behind the scenes might be the weak link anyway.
“President Thompson”… it has a nice ring to it.
I’d go one farther, Frank. I can just imagine, one of Obama’s radical friends being invited to the White House during a press conference, and, probably being inebriated on recreational or anti-psychotic drugs, Obama’s buddy (perhaps even his wife) sits down at the teleprompter keyboard, thinking it’s a laptop, and starts typing the usual diatribe, believing that they are composing an e-mail to KOS. Wait a minuet…with the exception of bad grammar and the insertion of foul language every 5 words, most of his speeches already sound like responses on KOS. Sorry.
Gasp! This is both funny & scary at the same time. Under the new regime it could qualify as a “guilty pleasure.”
The next few years are so scary I think I’m going to go re-read the original “Nuke the Moon” post from Aug 15th 2002. I guess this is like the lefties rerunning the exit polls from 2004 …
“I have pooed in your shoe!”
nothing beats a good pooh joke
This is fiction, right? Right?
It’s fiction…for now.