…the following:
Always expect the Spanish Inquisition,
Use ‘LEEROY JENKINS!’ everytime you enter a room,
Steal Jobu’s Rum without repercussions
Always count correctly to three for the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch,
Know the airspeed velocity of all varieties of unladen swallows,
Never get placed in double secret probation,
reside in a large wooden badger.
The ability to identify when it was aliens without actually saying it.
The 2021 Basil pronunciation field guide & manual. (Rev 8)
A signed certificate of completion of IMAO’s 10 hour training regarding avoiding confrontation with EMUs
So what are we gonna do buddy-boys? I’ll tell ya what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna speed fast. We’re gonna move like lightnin’. And we’re gonna clean them Sharks up once and for all so they ain’t never gonna set foot on our turf again. And we’re gonna do it in one, all-out fight…The Sharks want a piece of this world too. And they’re real down boys. They might ask for blades, zip guns…I say this turf is small, but it’s all we got, huh? Now I want to hold it like we always held it, with skin. But if they say blades, I say blades. If they say guns, I say guns. I say I want that just to be the number one – to sail, to hold the sky…OK cats, we rumble.
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
official possession of the Order of the Golden Emu w/ oak cluster AND V device.
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
a keyboard.
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
internet access. (it counts if you have figured out how to use Starlink)
…the following:
Always expect the Spanish Inquisition,
Use ‘LEEROY JENKINS!’ everytime you enter a room,
Steal Jobu’s Rum without repercussions
Always count correctly to three for the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch,
Know the airspeed velocity of all varieties of unladen swallows,
Never get placed in double secret probation,
reside in a large wooden badger.
It’s not easy to follow the rules. I’ve been posting so long that Leeroy is starting to question my trustworthiness.
FB: You up?
LJ: Ugh, you again.
FB: C’mon man. It’s not like that.
LJ: You said you’d call, like 2 weeks ago.
FB: Baby, you know I’ve been busy with work and all.
LJ: YGDFT!YLTATSOTE
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
having a faster internet connection. (Damn you Burt!)
… at least one comment to which to reply.
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
having the Emu’s permission .
Oooooooppps!
Maybe I can get his forgiveness.
The Emu forgive? That would be a first.
Maybe he’ll just forget– he is kind of a birdbrain.
Fascinating, a new person of interest to my…hobby.
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
a secret.
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
having punched a hippie.
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
a note from your Mother. (sorry to the ‘two dads’ people)
Epstein’s mother did not write that note.
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
stampeding cattle…
through the Vatican.
… an overly-generous assessment of one’s rhetorical talents…
…make a little birdhouse in your soul.
(Not to put too fine a point on it)
You must have a bee in your bonnet.
… a strong tendency towards masochism…
The ability to identify when it was aliens without actually saying it.
The 2021 Basil pronunciation field guide & manual. (Rev 8)
A signed certificate of completion of IMAO’s 10 hour training regarding avoiding confrontation with EMUs
… an ability to discern Basil from Basil…
The ability to parse YGDFT!YLTATSOTE!
(With foam in the corner of your mouth if you actually mean it.)
… the desire and (at least) marginal ability to make espresso.
Yep, that there is some very high quality espresso. It doesn’t taste anything like Folger’s crystals. Not one bit, no sirree.
A whole mess of dimes
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
…knowing rule 1 about posting on IMAO.
Uh oh. I talked about it last night.
..we don’t talk about posting on IMAO?
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
Being witty enough to elicit a response from the gang.
So what are we gonna do buddy-boys? I’ll tell ya what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna speed fast. We’re gonna move like lightnin’. And we’re gonna clean them Sharks up once and for all so they ain’t never gonna set foot on our turf again. And we’re gonna do it in one, all-out fight…The Sharks want a piece of this world too. And they’re real down boys. They might ask for blades, zip guns…I say this turf is small, but it’s all we got, huh? Now I want to hold it like we always held it, with skin. But if they say blades, I say blades. If they say guns, I say guns. I say I want that just to be the number one – to sail, to hold the sky…OK cats, we rumble.
Easy Riff…. Take it easy boy…
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
…a deep desire to observe very large explosions on natural satellites.
The first rule about posting a reply on IMAO? No one talks about posting a reply at IMAO.
… knowing, deep down in your soul, and with every fiber of your being, that it is pronounced Basil not Basil.
Huh, and all this time I thought it was pronounced, “Basil”.
Death to the mispronouncer!
Enjoying repeating the same movie/TV quotes over and over and…
Did I use that movie quote six times or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself.
When new movies/TV shows come up with dialogue worth quoting, we’ll use different movie quotes. A man’s got to know his limitations.
Having a sh!tload of dimes
Tapping out at 15 Schnitzengruben.
That’s my limit.
Not if you can get your hands on some vitamin E.
Or Pepto-Bismol.
Being able to tell the difference between coffee and Folgers Crystals.
Being able to recite the “Dave’s Not Here” bit by Cheech & Chong.
Know the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow.
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
…the unfettered optimistic belief that this comment is the one that will finally earn you that long sought-after Harvey Award.
Nine more to go. Best of luck.
7, keep plugging.
Down to 4, can you smell what the Rock is cookin’?
… appreciating the difference between “me, me!” and “meme me!”…
Based on these comments, I’m not qualified to post on IMAO. Uh Oh…. Am I going to cause a paradox?
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
…a limited vocabulary and marginal grammar.
Grammar Nazi!
The Primary Qualification For Posting a Reply on IMAO Is…
……Not being too remorseful for hitting the ‘Post Comment’ button.
An unquenchable desire for bacon.