Archive of entries posted on 26th February 2021

Friday Night Open Thread: Dr. Evil Gets a Research Grant

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Magnetic contraption tricks migrating songbirds into changing direction
Cell Press | Phys.org | Oct. 5, 2015

“The most amazing part of our finding is that the same birds sitting on the same dune of Courish Spit on the Baltic coast shifted their orientation from their normal migratory direction—northeast—to the northwest after we slightly turned current control knobs on our power supplies,” …

The birds were housed inside the magnetic coil system for several days.

Do you have something you’d like to share? A link? A joke? Some words of wisdom? A topic to discuss? It’s our nightly Open Thread, and you have the floor.

And You Thought the FBI Was Busy

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I apologize for the length of this post — but it’s not my fault.

I was merely going to post the title, being the sarcastic bastard I am.

Then I made the mistake of reading the first paragraph.

Humor lagniappe! But as I foolishly kept reading (never do that), the article kept getting funnier. So here it is in all its unparodyable glory.

FBI Investigates Whether the Dognapping of Lady Gaga’s Bulldogs Was Politically Motivated Because She Sang at Biden’s Inauguration
UK Daily Mail | February 26, 2021

The FBI is reportedly investigating whether the dognapping of Lady Gaga’s bulldogs was politically motivated because she sang at President Joe Biden’s inauguration last month.

According to The Sun, FBI agents who specialize in kidnapping and ransom cases are working with the Los Angeles Police Department to find out ‘exactly what motivated this incident’.

A source familiar with the incident told the news outlet: ‘Lady Gaga is high profile of course but she sang at President Biden’s inauguration which takes this case to another level.’

Another witness, Buck Angel, who also came out of his home to help Fischer told Entertainment Tonight on Thursday that he ‘100 percent’ believes the attack was targeted.  

‘I think 100% targeted – for sure. First off because in this neighborhood we have a lot of celebrities – it’s a celebrity neighborhood, number one.
‘Number two, I walk my dog at 11 and 12 o’clock at night and it’s safe here, it’s totally chill. How would anyone know that [Fischer] was walking those dogs at [that exact time].’

Wait — why does this guy use Biden’s signature phrases to communicate?

A friend of the victim, Steven Lazaroff, has voiced his shock over the incident and said Fischer loved Gaga’s dogs ‘unconditionally’. 

‘I’m not sure if those people knew whose they dogs were, and it’s even more devastating the dogs’ mom just landed in Rome yesterday to start filming for a movie and she can’t even be here,’ he told Fox 11.
‘I haven’t heard from [Fischer] yet … I just tried to go to the hospital but they weren’t accepting visitors.

‘He would die taking a bullet for those dogs. He loves those dogs unconditionally. He’s always with them 24/7.’

Gaga’s father, Joe Germanotta, told Fox News that entire family is ‘so upset right now’, and likened the dognapping of Koji and Gustav to ‘like losing one of your children’.  

‘Our whole family is upset and praying Koji and Gustavo are not harmed,’ he said. ‘Shooting someone in order to steal dogs is wrong.’

Morality lesson of the day!

A celebrity in her own right, Miss Asia boasts a social media following of more than 220,000. She has previously appeared in several magazines, featured in several ad campaigns and, in 2015, was the inspiration between Lady Gaga’s pet product line.

“between”?

Gaga’s manager, Bobby Campbell, told Billboard at the time: ‘This is not just about crazy outfits for dogs. It’s about giving pet parents and pet owners a fun and creative way for protecting their pets, as well as fun clothes to display on Instagram (because Gaga loves doing that).’

To tease the line, Gaga uploaded a series of fashion-style photo shoots of Miss Asia reading Vogue, driving a Rolls Royce in a tux and even enjoying an outdoor picnic of champagne and dog biscuits.

When asked what has been giving her hope over the past year, she said: “I got to be honest. I’m about to cry on the other end of this call with you because it’s really – it’s doctors, it’s nurses, it’s essential workers.”

I’ve got to be honest…. No, I shouldn’t. That would be cruel.

UPDATE:

Two Reporters!!!!

Lady Gaga’s Dogs Returned Unharmed
NBC News | 26 February 2021 | Andrew Blankstein and Dennis Romero

Subtext:

Guy who was shot deemed unimportant and not chill.

Hand-Holds and Hand-Holding at Cornell

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Cornell charges students $1,800 for racially-segregated rock climbing class, frantically scrubs website when confronted
Campus Reform | February 18, 202 1 | Matthew Wilson

A Cornell University course titled “BIPOC Rock Climbing,” was originally restricted to “people who identify as Black, Indigenous, Latinx, Asian, or other people of color.”

When Campus Reform contacted the school, Cornell officials edited the course description to remove the race-based enrollment restriction.

The course’s original description, noting the class’s race-based enrollment restriction, is still visible, courtesy of an internet archive.

When asked for comment, John Carberry, Cornell’s Senior Director of Media Relations and News, issued a statement to Campus Reform claiming that “all Cornell students” are “welcome” to enroll in the course, contradicting the original course description.

What’s the use? I thought walls don’t work.

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You Are Now the Sheriff of Nottingham

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An election was held.

We’ve calculated the results.

Congratulations, Sheriff!

(You’ll do what we say, won’t you?)

There were mail-in ballots. No one can see them.

There were in-person balllots also. No one but us counted them.

All that data is propietary.

Back off, man! We’re scientists!

Follow the science, as Biden says.

Nice Try

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Have you ever had a derelict vehicle towed away?

I wouldn’t want to be one.

I own a car that I do not want towed away.

It’s a gorgeous old baby-blue ’88 Jeep Wrangler with rectanglular headlights. To say I admire its lines would be an understatement.

I keep it insured and registered, and dutifully paid up with stupid town property taxes — all of which are rip-offs, by the way — just on the off-chance that some day I’ll get it road-worthy again. It has an undercarriage problem.

Today I got this threatening email from the state, obviously because of my connection with IMAO and my poem about Brandi-Sniffer:

Dear RMV Customer,
RMV records indicate your annual inspection sticker is expired and your vehicle needs to be inspected. To confirm this and act accordingly, please refer to the expiration date on the existing sticker on your vehicle’s front windshield.
The annual Vehicle Check requires all vehicles registered pass a yearly vehicle emissions and safety inspection – this inspection is essential to the safety of the environment and roadways.
• If your vehicle is currently in storage, an Off-the-Road Verification Inspection Form must be completed and mailed to the RMV.
• If your vehicle is currently out of state, an Out-of-State Verification Inspection Form must be completed and mailed to the RMV.
There are over 1,800 licensed inspection stations where customers can bring their vehicle in to safely update their inspection sticker. Visit the Inspection Station Locator to find a location near you.
Inspection stations are required to follow all applicable COVID-19 public health guidance and safety protocols. Should you have concerns of a violation upon visiting an inspection site, we encourage you to report those with the Department of Labor Standards.
Please note that all previous sticker extensions applied last year have now expired and no further extensions are planned.
While the RMV has encouraged law enforcement to use their discretion in issuing citations for an expired sticker, driving any motor vehicle without a valid inspection sticker is a traffic violation that may result in a fine and affect your insurance rate.
Please check and confirm the status of your annual safety and emissions inspection sticker, and go to the Inspection Station Locator to plan a visit to your local station today!
Thank you in advance for your attention and commitment to the safety of the environment and roadways.
If your vehicle has recently been inspected and has a valid, current sticker on your windshield, please disregard this email.
Sincerely,
The Registry of Motor Vehicles

Yeah, I’m really going to get a garaged vehicle inspected because it’s not road-worthy.

And why did they suddenly pull this trick out of their bag after twenty years?

Nice try!

Swing and a miss, F-knuckles!

(I’ve previously mentioned that my server has been compromised — because whoever-they-are posted a sarcastic comment about my sister’s innocent downloading from Netflix “The Wizard of Oz.” Which is definitely appropriate.)

Also: why, when I try to close my email server (Hotmail), does it take over an hour and a half (while showing a spinning icon) to close — before I just hit the power button to kill it?

Grrr.

If you ever not hear from Oppo again, you’ll know why. He has been quietly eliminated, like a derelict vehicle.

And you’re next.

The Stupid, it burns!

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To be fair stupidity is not limited to the United States. It appears that even military types overseas can be pretty durn stupid. I don’t know if it can rival our pledge to recognize the lived experiences of others but it certainly can give it a run for it’s money.

NATO chief suggests battle tanks with solar panels as militaries go green

Link to article.

Yes folks, they are serious.

Nato should examine how it can power tanks and jets with alternative energy, such as solar panels, to reduce its carbon emissions, the alliance’s secretary general said.

Reducing reliance on fossil fuels would also make troops less vulnerable to attack because they would not have to rely on long supply lines getting fuel to the front line, Jens Stoltenberg said.

The Nato chief suggested that militaries should advance research into low-emitting vehicles because of the advantages they bring, at an online seminar titled New Ideas for Nato 2030.

“Nato should do its part to look into how we can reduce emissions from military operations,” he told the Chatham House event. “We know that heavy battle tanks or fighter jets and naval ships consume a lot of fossil fuel and emit greenhouse gases and therefore we have to look into how we can reduce those emissions by alternative fuels, solar panels or other ways of running our missions.”https://www.thenationalnews.com/world/europe/nato-chief-suggests-battle-tanks-with-solar-panels-as-militaries-go-green-1.1160313

Even others on the net comprehend the burning stupidity.

The stupid, it burns … an M1 tank gets 0.6 mpg. A gallon of diesel contains ~ 40 kWh of energy. A solar panel puts out ~ 1 kWh per day. A solar panel is about 17 sq. ft. You MIGHT fit four of them on an M1 tank without impairing the weapons and sensors. Then you’d need four Tesla Powerwall batteries, weight half a ton.With that setup, every ten days you could move your tank 0.6 miles …w.

Read it and weep as the saying goes.

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