IMAO News (California) – Dozens of semi-focused, semi-bathed, and (unfortunately for them) semi-armored Medieval Renaissaince LARPers charged at windmills in a Nevada County valley yesterday, with rainbow-colored plumes flying and visors lowered.

* It was estimated that some 60 percent of the participants had headed to Nevada instead.

* Some of their visors had holes cut in them to aid in vision and respiration. Most had masks.

It was a miscalculation, as all of the windmills were on the very high mountains that surround the valley. Their attack plan was, after considerable consultation, modified.

“No Jousts, No Peace!” they predictably chanted as they charged up North San Juan’s hills.

Their cuirasses were deemed hate speech, and shattered into large fragments upon contact with the reinforced windmill shafts, occasionally creating electric arcs upon encountering severed power lines.

The survivor vowed he would return on the anniversary, after attending Burning Man next year.

All right, who forgot to close the door?

Is that an insecure service elevator on the left? Just who is in charge of security around here, anyway?