Because Gov. Hochul really, really needs some ideas:
Kathy Hochul Begs Rich People to Come Back to New York
Hot Air | 18 Mar, 2026 | David StromHochul’s appeal to the millionaires who are fleeing New York came last week at a POLITICO “Fireside Chat” …
Governor Hochul: Let me frame it this way: …
Well, letting you frame it your way would only exacerbate the problem, but go ahead:
… I know New Yorkers are exasperated. They feel that everything’s stacked against them. They’re not getting ahead, their rents are too damn high, their childcare costs are high, their utility bills …
What I want to make sure we are smart about is having a system in place where it’s not just taxing for the sake of taxing. And being conscious of the fact that I need people who are high-net-worth to support the generous social programs that we want to have in our state. Right?
Right.
Not left. Except they have left. In abundance.
Now, there are some patriotic millionaires who stepped up. Okay, cut me the checks.
Since you’re a politician and a Democrat, I have to ask: you meant cut the government the checks, correct?
If you want to be supportive, but maybe the first step should be to go down to Palm Beach and see who we can bring back home because our tax base has been eroded. So I philosophically don’t have a problem, …
?
I would posit that you do — and you realize it, you’ve just circled around it, and will now home in on it:
… I have to look at the fact that we are in competition with other states who have less of a tax burden on their corporations and their individuals.
So, other than seeing “who we can bring back home” at the point of a gun — I’d call the new TV series “The Fungitive” — you’ll convince them how? …
…a tax holiday.
…special invite to a “Punch Bernie Sanders” event.
…Concierge tow trucks that follow you around and clear any parking spaces that you want…
…Concierge police officers to clear the riff-raff from any space you choose to occupy…
… a free toaster with every million dollars in taxes paid…
…a seat on the New York Times editorial board…
The Deal:
I would offer them some free real estate if they agree to develop it –
The Hole (Brooklyn/Queens Border)
Hookers and blow?
Actually, you can probably get better of both in Florida.
Free crack, whores and crack-whores.
Hillary {picking up baseball bat}: “Oh, so you’re rich? Like Seth Rich? Now, you want to bring your money back to New York, don’t you?”
Hillary: “Hey, Bill, check this guy out! He thinks he’s Epstein.”
Bill: “heh-heh. Epstein.”
Hillary glares at millionaire without saying another word. The lightbulb in the room flickers.
They could promise kamala will be at their condo warming party, and they can use her any way they want.
She could fight for more SALT deductions, you know, to screw over the country because their state is screwing over them.
Incentives You’d Offer to Millionaires To Return to New York City: …
have the bag limit of 5 for killing Muslims. Adult males only, women and children must be thrown back.
If they’re anything like the rich people I’ve known:
A) Offer them their own money back, in its original, un-wasted, un-burnt condition.
B) Offer them someone else’s money (works every time!).
C) Throw in better weather, friendlier people, and sidewalks that don’t smoke and smell like urine.
But you have to do all three. Otherwise, you’re sunk.
Nationwide ad campaign to sponsor your own house the homeless millionaire or billionaire for just the cost of 127 million cups of coffee a day.
New game show: Tish James’ Wheel Of Bogus Lawsuits.
Promise no more waste on homeless, drug addicts or subsidies for SNL writers.
Cut the tax rate in half by sending all the NY illegal aliens to Martha’s Vineyard.
Out, old game show where Muslims shout “hey jews, come on down” on Let’s Make A Death Camp.