… has been confiscated without due process by the federal government due to the type of wood it’s made of. No explanation yet as to why Michele has a podium also made of the same wood.
… doesn’t bow to foreign kings.
… is outfitted with springs underneath, and when he says “millionaires and billionaires” the first time he’ll be catapulted into the audience.
… isn’t outfitted with a microphone that allows Obama to speak differently to black people, so I guess he’ll be concerned that they won’t understand the speech patterns he uses with the rest of us.
Obama’s Debate Podium was made by a carpenter. Jesus was a carpenter. Pontius Pilot was Romney. Um….ok hang on….there’s an inane bumper sticker soundbite in there somehwere….
…has the Presidential Seal glued, nailed and taped on! Can’t have another escape attempt tonight!
…has a sheet taped to it listing all lady parts in alphabetical order.
… is a prop from Police Academy from that scene where Commandant Lessard gives a speech to the cadets at the end.
…has a Matrix cable since TOTUS will not be allowed to be there.
… Will take the blame for Obama losing the debate
… Will be thrown under the bus
… Will be fighting on the front lines against the Republican’s “was on debates”
… Will be stocked with plenty of dog jerky so Obama doesn’t get hungry
… Will be crafted from the finest Kenyan wood to help Obama feel at home
… Is the same podium his teacher used in his madrassa classroom
… Will be the most disappointed podium in the room
… Will smell like sulphur after the debate
… Asked to remain anonymous
… is the chair that Clint Eastwood spoke to at the RNC.
…drew the short straw.
. . . will hide Valerie Jarret, “advising”.
. . . will be stocked with Iphones ready to be given out.
. . . will defect to the Romney camp.
. . . will be beaten up by the teleprompter when no one is looking.
. . . has pillows.
…has the disclaimer “The views and ideas expressed by this President do not necessarily represent those of the American public.”
…was built by someone else.
…was modified to include a Jeapordy-style buzzer (it was the only way to make him show up).
…will be set between two styrofoam Roman-style columns.
…will hide the fact that he has no clothes.
… was coached exclusivily by Joe Biden.
Has a built-in Etch-A-Sketch
…is the only thing keeping Romney from instantly winning the debate with a swift knee to the groin.
composed entirely of recycled Korans.
…is smarter than the President.
…is more qualified to be President than Obama.
…has eaten less dogs than Obama
… has been confiscated without due process by the federal government due to the type of wood it’s made of. No explanation yet as to why Michele has a podium also made of the same wood.
… doesn’t bow to foreign kings.
… is outfitted with springs underneath, and when he says “millionaires and billionaires” the first time he’ll be catapulted into the audience.
… isn’t outfitted with a microphone that allows Obama to speak differently to black people, so I guess he’ll be concerned that they won’t understand the speech patterns he uses with the rest of us.
… will get my vote before Obama does.
… has a tarp around it to catch all the bull crap that will come out of Obama’s mouth tonight
Is wondering what it did wrong in a previous life to earn this crap detail.
. . . was designed by Isuzu. It will flash “He’s lying” whenever Obama speaks.
…was made from the wood left over from when they made Al Gore.
…has a built in teleprompter, complete with talking points memos and a lie detector provided by the media “fact checkers”.
…is misogynist. It hates her and all his lady parts!
Obama’s Debate Podium…will have a better understanding about who is..and who is not a threat to this country!
Obama’s Debate Podium…will have less wood than Chris Matthews during the debate.
Obama’s Debate Podium…won’t ever have to apologize for having supported Obama.
…is registered to vote in 23 states.
Obama’s Debate Podium…is more useful than most of Obama’s supporters..It, at least, has a JOB.
…has built-in fire extinguishers in case Obama’s pants catch fire during the debate.
…is where RobO-bama will be operated from since the real Obama can’t make the debate. -He has a late tee time.
…is a sand wedge.
… has never been seen in the same room as Joseph Stalin’s
… renders him invisible to “fact checkers”.
….is a hand-me-down from Osama
…looks like a golf cart. Obama was so excited he wet himself.
… Is slated as the teleprompter’s running mate in 2016.
is its own country, with its own rules of truth and logic.
Obama’s Debate Podium was made by a carpenter. Jesus was a carpenter. Pontius Pilot was Romney. Um….ok hang on….there’s an inane bumper sticker soundbite in there somehwere….
…will confuse Obama voters who think it contains his fishing lures and a tub of worms.
…still has training wheels.
…has a 50% chance of not being the one Biden thought was a urinal.
…is bigger than his brothers shack.
… smells like someone wet their pants behind it.
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