Is it just me, or has it been a while since I wrote column? I guess I got lazy with the whole “new kid” thing and some other projects (one of these days, my fiction is going to get published and it’s going to be awesome!). And people around me in Idaho don’t believe I’m a columnist anymore. I try to explain to them, “In New York City there is like a paper and you’ll find me in it.” And then I try to explain to them about New York City with its tall buildings and shiny lights, but they don’t believe me. And they don’t have the internet here in Idaho to check it out; we just exchange information by writing things down on potatoes and chucking them at each other.
But enough about me. Let’s instead talk about me. So, I have a new column in the New York Post about how I’m getting worried about how isolated, paranoid our government is getting. Frankly, it’s becoming an anti-citizen extremist.
The feds have shown warning signs for years, becoming increasingly withdrawn, hunkered down in their bunkers in DC. They’re disconnected from what’s going on in the rest of the country, getting their news only from extremist sources like Media Matters, MSNBC and The New York Times. And in their fear and isolation, federal workers seem willing to believe almost any crazy conspiracy theory about the American public — such as that everyone is secretly racist against the president and that people are going to form militias to fight the government.
Read. Enjoy. Share. Discuss.
You have a typo in the 6th paragraph. “Rifel” should be spelled “rifle.” Do I get a piece of bacon for proof reading better than the people at the NY Post?
Hmmm…you have a grammatical error in the last paragraph. “Whoever” should be “whomever”…really Frank – you want to be an author?
I’m stuck on “potatoes” and “chucking.”
And the thought of “chucking potatoes.”
With ink on them.
Noooooo!
Idaho should be lobbed off.
Frank, I think you’re just being dismissed as one of those uneducated crazy racist conservatives that’s likely to confuse “math” with “arithmetic”
It must be hard to be an electrical engineer in Idaho. You probably have to spend most of your day testing the electrical conductivity differences between russets and red potatoes.
NSA has finally gained some sympathy from me. I really had no idea of the logistic nightmare they are facing. Do they somehow digitize the info on the potatoes? Or do they have to store the whole potato in their Utah data center. Can you imagine the stench if the stored spuds start rotting?
but if the Obama Administration wasn’t Paranoid, Isolated, Extremist and Anti-Citizen they wouldn’t be much of a punishment (from GOD). I’d be scared shiiteless if Obama was good natured, outgoing, friendly, -pro-american. He’s not even from this country!
Frank are you the electrical engineer that invented the flashlight powered by Potatoes?
Lob the lopped off lobes over here, Jimmy!
@6: Their new data center can store 100 million taterbytes.
I think the new ground zero for Pumpkin Chunking should be the capital. Just imagine what a 10 lb gourd going as fast as an air cannon can send it into the capital. Not to mention the mess those pumpkins make when they hit the target. It’s a time whose idea has come (wait. reverse that))
Where you at, Fly? I got my loppers out and my lobbing gloves, ready to lob the lopped-off lobes in your direction! I hope you’re not a land lubber!
Aim left of the lily-livered lion’s lair in Illinois, thanks! We could do with some Idaho.