40 Comments

  1. … smiled and took credit.

    … sent in troops to protect the tastier dog breeds.

    … suggested a “no whites allowed” beer summit (which is okay, since there don’t seem to be any whites involved in Baltimore anyway).

  2. …said “They’re a good idea…”

    …chuckled to himself, thinking his “fundamental transformation” was coming along quite nicely.

    …said it was all a right-wing smear job by Fox News.

    …said he only learned about it when he saw it on the news.

  3. Asked about the riots in Baltimore, President Obama…

    … checked with his CPA to see if his ongoing donation of gasoline is tax deductible.

    … asked President Jarrett if he could release Gitmo terrorists in exchange for the release of some of the arrested Baltimore terrorists.

    … said something incredibly stupid things, which is his par for his course.

  4. Asked about the riots in Baltimore, President Obama…
    said, “I just heard about them on the news so I don’t know anything about them other than the cops acted stupidly”.

    Mr. ‘President’, the cops basically did nothing…..
    “Oh, in that case, those cops should get a raise.”

  5. Asked about the riots in Baltimore, President Obama…

    smiled quietly to himself.

    asked for legislation to incarcerate 50% of White American Males because, RACISM!

    asked to have his Interlocuter to be shot.

    replied, They’re rioting in Baltimore. They’re starving in Spain. There’s hurricanes in Florida and Texas needs rain.
    The whole world is festering with unhappy souls. The French hate the Germans. The Germans hate the Poles.
    Italians hate Yugoslavs. South Africans hate the Dutch and I don’t like anybody very much!

    willed himself invisible.

    blamed Bush.

  6. ……casually remarked that so many of the ‘misguided youth’ he saw looked, acted and danced just like he would have at that age……

    ” …and look how I turned out. They’re just kids, being kids…”

  7. … hosted another black-tie fundraiser and considered it effete accompli.

    … sent Al Sharpton and Eric Holder down there to negrotiate.

    … warned the Orioles “All of your bases now belong to us.”

  8. …said things would get back to normal soon, he had called for a drone strike on that woman who whupped her freedom fighter son mid-rack throw. Then his marchin’ chargin’ Gucci loafers were heard slappin’ back to watch the Golf Channel.

  9. …gave a 20 minute response that:
    * Blamed Bush 4 times
    * Blamed Republicans 9 times
    * Used the pronoun I 47 times
    * Denounced the rioters….uh….well, he DID call them thugs

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