[High Praise! to Dry Bones]

Excusing Hillary Clinton’s failure to be debriefed when leaving State, Jen Psaki said that Hillary wasn’t a “standard employee”.
True. Most former State Department employees don’t have a body count.
[High Praise! to ScrappleFace]
Poll: Ted Cruz Badly Trails Imaginary Ideal Republican
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
"Ninth Circuit is reversed." I presume they have a macro for that.
— Popehat (@Popehat) March 31, 2015
I've been watching this Caterpillar bulldozer for a few weeks now and I'm waiting for it to turn into a terrifying butterfly robot.
— Easter Antagonist (@AnOrangeSNES) March 31, 2015
Che Guevara: "Crazy with fury I will stain my rifle red while slaughtering any enemy!"
Dude, calm down. You're just a t-shirt model.
— Michael J Nelson (@michaeljnelson) March 31, 2015
Teaching about world monuments is more complicated these days, because you have to explain there's another one of everything in Las Vegas.
— MKupperman (@MKupperman) March 31, 2015
There is a pretty tremendous irony in the host of The Daily Show complaining that people are taking him out of context.
— Political Math (@politicalmath) April 1, 2015
Hey MSM, hot angle: The Iranian negotiators would never cater a gay wedding. And yet the White House is trying to do business with them.
— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) April 1, 2015
Don't compare yourself to a Selma marcher when you're unleashing the dogs and firehoses.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) April 2, 2015
The last time I heard this many people scream for pizza and cake it was at a toddler’s birthday party.
— Dana Loesch (@DLoesch) April 2, 2015
[my dog viciously murders a person]
Aww he thinks he’s people
— Nice Hippo (@NicestHippo) April 2, 2015
When I see a man in shorts put an orange ball through a metal hole, I like to turn to other men and slap their hands while I am screaming.
— jeffrey cranor (@happierman) April 3, 2015
Josh Earnest said the rumor that Valerie Jarrett leaked the Hillary Clinton email story was “utter baloney”.
Coincidentally, also what Josh Earnest usually does into a microphone.
Another nation commits to #ActOnClimate—Mexico announced it would cut carbon pollution 25 percent by 2030: http://ofa.bo/d47w
“…by sending 25% of its population across the border to America.”
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
They finally found a use for Michelle Obama’s “healthy” school lunches…
Freedom of religion more fundamental than free speech. Little point to free speech if not free to have different beliefs to speak about.
Our civil rights are determined by whoever is best at bullying.
Are we all done caring about the host of The Daily Show yet?
Boy, I hope Iran doesn’t nuke any country I’ve heard of.
I’m thinking there’s ways to get everyone cake with no one being forced against their beliefs, but I dare say I’m missing the point.
Point of Order: They now say there are a number of different genders out there, but is it bigoted if I’m only attracted to one?
I kinda feel for Trevor Noah. If I ever had any unfunny tweets, I wouldn’t want people to focus on them.
I know when I’m intellectually secure in my position, I do everything I can to shut down the possibility of debate.
I’m still fascinated by the fact that all the Better Call Saul episode titles end in ‘o’ except one. What does it mean?!
I guess we’ve advanced so much as a country that most of the discrimination we’re now fighting is only theoretical.
Christians have strongly held religious views on marriage. They have them now. They’ll have them a thousand years from now. Cope with it.
When Jesus pointed to Adam and Eve (one man, one woman) as God’s model for marriage, was he being hateful? Would we put up with that now?
So what’s next? “We found a plumber who if he hypothetically sold pizza said he would hypothetically not cater a gay wedding.”
“Kill! Crush! Destroy!” -robot AI gone bad; also, current civil right movement
It’s too bad Sylvester is known primarily for his attempted violence against Tweety Bird and not his tireless efforts to end the suffering of succotash.
“With this kinda sorta agreement with Iran, I have saved the world. I’m basically Superman.” -President Obama
“Oh, I love your shoes! Oh, mommy, they’re so pretty. When you die and I’m a grown-up, can I please wear them?” -my 4yo to her mother
President Obama’s new immigration amnesty program will require 3100 new bureaucrats and cost $484 million a year.
Only the government could require this much bother and expense for the specific purpose of doing nothing to people.