What happened to ignoring stuff? I never saw a Sarah Jeong tweet before all this. I’ve never been subjected to an Alex Jones video. Why go out of your way to be offended?

We’re going to have a tyranny of people with too much time on their hands. We don’t want those people calling the shots; they’re often just as big a horrible idiot as the people they rail against.

People need to learn to just deal with being offended. And also to not actively seek out things that offend them.

Finally, the Academy Awards listens to me. I had mentioned a “Best Comic Book Movie” category. Last year that would have been a contest between Wonder Woman, Thor: Ragnarok, and Logan. That’s something people actually care about.
My next suggestion is you wait a decade before awarding best picture for year. Lessens chance of some picture winning that everyone will forget about in a year.

We need hate crime laws. It should be against the law to not hate crime. Stomp out crime love!

I’m so proud. My 2yo pointed up at the night sky and said, “There’s Jupiter!” And… she was so close. It was Arcturus. Jupiter was a little to the left. But still.

Even the smartest person in the world would destroy the economy if he tried to control it, but the people often proposing that sort of thing are as dumb as a turnip.

I’m nearing 40. I guess I’m too old for Space Force. I’ll have to go get my 5yo son interested in it.
“I hear whining. They don’t let whiners in Space Force.”

CNN actively trying to get someone silenced scares me more than Alex Jones.

I would have been excited about Idris Elba as James Bond five years ago, but now we have Space Force to protect us.

Yes, Ben Shapiro would absolutely destroy Ocasio-Cortez. No one on the left or right doubts that. So it would be a bad idea for her to do the debate. She should probably also stop giving interviews. Just say an occasional “Yay, socialism!” until the election.

Watching Luke Cage season 2. They spell out all the Jamaicans’ dialogue phonetically in the subtitles, so that’s no help there.

I’m bored now of Ocasio-Cortez. She needs to become a Space Socialist so Space Force can fight her.

me pitching a movie ten years ago
“So, somehow Donald Trump is elected president, and he creates a Space Force.”
“That sound hilarious.”
“It’s not a comedy!”

Come on. We’ve seen how Ocasio-Cortez does in a friendly interview. We’re dying to see what would happen with her in a debate.
Plus, it’s important in a functioning democracy to humiliate socialists as dumb.

It would nice if there was some sort of political movement with a coherent ideology instead of all these identity politics house of cards.
Also, it would be nice if the Nazis and Communists all stayed back in the 20th century.

Can’t believe its the 21st century and we’re still fighting socialists.
We should be fighting space socialists with our Space Force.

People wanting to dunk on a socialist has no more complex a motivation than people wanting to dunk on a racist.

Obscure reference I don’t think my kids will ever get: When they tell me something they think is distressing that I don’t care about, I say “Oh no!” in an imitation of Lex Luthor’s nephew from Superman IV when he’s spun in the air by the nuclear man.
That was the only thing that stood out to me in that movie.

My 5yo said he wants to be the first person on Mars and plant a flag there.
Then he said it was going to be a Zelda flag 🙁

I told him about Space Force and asked if he wanted to join. He thought about it for a couple seconds and said, “No. I don’t want to be killed.”
Always the pragmatist.

My 7yo daughter was more positive about Space Force. When I told her that aren’t really any bad guys in space, she said, “They’ll probably just drop bombs on bad guys from space so they don’t see them coming. Yeah, I’d like to do that.”

I still don’t quite understand who Omarosa is and I am happy about that.

So there was supposed to be some big Nazi rally and instead we got a bunch of left-wingers attacking cops and journalists.
Why don’t we all just calm down and stop pretending this country is on the brink.

The race war is being fought between two small, angry, violent groups of white people.

They should call it the “Luke Cage Punching and Musical Act Variety Hour.”
Misty Knight is my favorite and I can’t quite put my finger on why. It’s like she’s constantly smug… but somehow in a good way.

Maybe “fascists” and “anti-fascists” are like “flammable” and “inflammable.”

The Democrats’ support for socialism over Capitalism insane. Capitalism now has a more than hundred year record of feeding the hungry, lifting people all over the world out of extreme poverty, and giving us countless technology. Socialism has the same lengthy record of doing the opposite.

It would be nice if there was like this profession whose job it is to inform people so everyone would understand how much better things have gotten over the past century so people aren’t wanting to constantly cut off their nose to spite their face.

No one knows how much better things have gotten in the poorest parts of the world because no one actually cares what goes on there… they just like to pretend to care. Except for capitalists. They actually care because they can get richer making things better.

At this point, we shouldn’t even be legitimizing socialists by debating them. They should instead just be put in stocks and have tomatoes thrown at them. And we should charge $5 a tomato because capitalism.

When you look at the condition people lived in throughout history, we are an absurdly rich country. The only thing we lack is gratitude.

I enjoy Twitter. There’s lot of fun opinions on it. And I appreciate everyone’s passion.

Has there been any interviews with people who have donated to Strzok? I am curious about the thinking there.

What if the tape is Trump doing that Chris Rock bit?

It doesn’t make you any less of a man to discuss your feelings.
It makes you less of a man to have feelings.

I realize there’s some pretty basic—people did it for millennia—that I have no idea how to do without an iPhone app: Spot the planets in the night sky. I mean, Venus is easy, but I’m trying to think how pre-internet I would have been able to locate the others.

Just in case it hasn’t been said enough, Better Call Saul is very very good.

I could see some people not liking Better Call Saul, just like I could see a 4yo not enjoying a perfectly cooked steak.

If you are honestly worried about 3D printed guns, just take a deep breath and think about it for maybe 5 seconds to realize how dumb that concern. If it takes you longer than 5 seconds, please don’t ever vote.

Back when I was a kid, we played video games ourselves. We didn’t just watch other people play them on YouTube.
The world has gone to hell in a hand basket.

Trump keeps whipping up crowds to treat our merely awful media as completely horrible.

The rich keep getting richer and all the rest of us get is food, luxuries, and a standard of living unimaginable to even the richest kings of the past.

We have to stop these undetectable, unmissable 3D printed guns that can shoot through schools.

Of the Terminator movies, I only liked the first two.
But I enjoyed The Sarah Connor Chronicles even more than the movies.

The Venom movie looks dumb, right?

I don’t think a lot of cons are ready for the responsibility of lib ownership.

Jim Acosta is certainly a great source for news on Jim Acosta.

The problem with the new SJW terminator is that it keeps freezing when its intersectionality processor gets stuck in an infinite loop.

Seems like about 80% of railing against hateful bigots is projection.

I don’t care if NYTimes hires Sarah Jeong or if The Atlantic hires Kevin Williamson because I’m not some horrible, bitter who has to pretend that sort of thing personally affects me.

The only consistent rule is: Defend people in your tribe, hate people out of it.

Yes, Sarah Jeong is probably filled with poisonous hatred, but I don’t know if that makes her different than any other tech writer.

We need a right-left coalition against outrage mobs.

How about everyone just be less hateful and more forgiving toward Sarah Jeong than she is toward others. That’s not much of an ask.

Okay, that’s probably enough talking about a NYTimes tech hire for the next decade.

You live is the richest, most advanced country in a time period that gives you more opportunity and luxury than any other in human history. What are you going to whine about today?

If someone hired me as a columnist and people started looking through my past tweets, I’d immediately get a raise for awesome tweets.

Remember when the right and left in this country actually worked together? Like that time we joined our two halves of the crystal of freedom so we could cast Hitler back into the Netherrealm.

You don’t understand. You have to have power to be racist. That’s why for years the only one who could be racist was Barack Obama. And he wisely was only racist against Italians.

“Being racist against white people isn’t as bad as being racist against minorities.” And drinking antifreeze isn’t as bad as drinking bleach, but why don’t you stop doing dumb, poisonous things.

I don’t have the slightest idea what this QAnon thing is about. Do I need to bother looking it up?

Newspapers: I’m a columnist you can hire and all my past tweets are great. I’m very expensive, though, and most of my columns will be about squirrels. I don’t trust them and I don’t understand how I’m the only one concerned about them.

Trump and the media are both awful and both portray each other as worse than they are.

“It says here it has a 130 lilabytes limit.”
If it weren’t for kids, we wouldn’t notice all the bizarre things we accept without question, like the abbreviation for “pounds.”

Finally reading Foundation by Issac Asimov. It’s good, but you have to give it some slack for being written in the 1940s. Didn’t realize how bizarre it was to have this sweeping, centuries long, multi-planet epic with no female characters. Also, everyone smokes.
So it really wasn’t until the 1950s that people discovered “hey, women can do things, too”?

I’m more excited than I would have thought for Patrick Stewart returning to Star Trek.
But not “subscribe to CBS” excited.

Making me worried for my son how people always say bad things about men. Should focus on some positive things men have done. I’ll start. Men…
* invented the can opener
* founded every civilization in history
* wrote most of the episodes of Breaking Bad (though not the best one)

The biggest threat to the NRA is that they’ve won most of their battles and thus there’s less and less reasons for them to exist. That’s why they’ve become sillier and focused more on cultural issues.

Democrats should run on “you can’t be racist against white people.”

Trump has convinced his supporters that the media is pond scum when the media really just is…
What’s a type of scum that’s widely regarded as better than the pond variety?

I looked it up and the wasp about the size of a small bird is basically harmless, but that’s a hard fact to get your entire brain to accept.

People want to get rid of capitalism because of the unequal distribution of wealth that wouldn’t exist except for capitalism.

Now that I’ve found out that the Q thing is too crazy for even the average Trump crazy, I’m kinda curious what it is.

If something is a right then it always was a right and always will be a right. Rights don’t go away. They can only be infringed by the use of force.

Now that InfoWars has been banned from all social media, they’ll eventually emerge mentally healthier than the rest of us.

A lot of time the question isn’t whether something is illegal but whether it should be applauded or encouraged.

Anytime you give the mob what they want, it’s like feeding a dog from the table. The dog doesn’t just go away satisfied.

No one has a right to shout “No one has a right to shout ‘fire’ in a crowded theater!” in a crowded discussion of the First Amendment.

One thing I like about Better Call Saul is how often it becomes this mystery entitled “What is Mike up to?”

Free speech being of the highest importance to the health of this country, banning certain viewpoints should be the absolute last measure deployed. And it should never be met with celebration. Whenever it comes to that, that feels like a failure of everyone.

One thing about Better Call Saul is how much dread I feel about Kim and Nacho knowing they’re not in Breaking Bad.

Only capitalism creates anywhere near enough wealth to fund socialism.

I’m not convinced banning InfoWars is a slippery slope or that the companies suddenly all moving to ban it at the same time over some vague “hate speech” standard is just something to shrug at.

With them bringing back all these shows from the 80s/90s, how about The Simpsons? I loved that show as a kid.

Instead of getting worked up that awful people have a platform somewhere, can’t you just… I dunno… ignore them?

Why does so many on the left have this bizarre faith that government or corporation restricted speech will only work out for the better?

There’s no trade imbalance. Each time we sent money to another country, they sent us goods we valued even higher than that money. The exchange actually made us richer. That’s the magic of the free market.

I have finished the first draft of the sequel to Superego!
Now to pound it into something human readable. I can’t wait to finally get some other people to read it. The ending is crazy.

Books are hard. I’m used to blogs and Twitter where you get instant feedback. With a book, it sometimes takes over a year until someone else reads any of it.

In my more perfect world, the government wouldn’t know my income or anything about my finances as it’s not its business. I’m not even sure they’d know my last name.

#ConvinceSomeoneToVoteIn4Words Voting is the government’s ploy to get your fingerprints on the murder weapon.
I don’t think I did that right.

No one is actually against capitalism. It like people griping about technology, but no one ever goes Amish.
Well, I guess the Amish do.

I don’t understand being the sort of horrible human being who gets excited at someone else getting taxed more.

I don’t like to be told what to do. That’s why I’m always denying that people are jolly good fellows.

Wikipedia is often the first result of any search… unless you mistyped. Then it’s Urban Dictionary.

Adding to the whole bizzaro-world with Trump as president, we now have Democrats running for Congress openly as a nazi or a communist or whatever and the rest of the part is acting like it’s a normal thing.

What is that Ocasio-Cortez is calling herself? A “Democratic nazi” which is supposed to be different from the regular scary nazism?

Shouldn’t Mission Impossible be about beating Battletoads on NES in two player mode?

Alec Baldwin isn’t allowed on Twitter because of the Shadow ban.

Are we even sure there is an Elon Musk? The name sounds pretty made up.

I can’t follow all of this. Wake me if Trump is actually being handcuffed or something.

If I were in Mission Impossible, I’d just write a report saying we failed the mission and under “Reason” I’d write “Because it was impossible.” I’m pretty sure I’d still get paid the same.

I’m seeing a lot of people talking about how you should regularly delete your old tweets. I’m not really on board on that. People having old, poorly thought out tweets isn’t the problem.

The straw ban is just a reminder that even in the age of Trump, the left are deadly unserious people who should under no circumstances have power.

Ban banning.

So is the next Eric Garner going to get strangled for handing out straws?

People picking on Ocasio-Cortez is starting to feel like people dunking on the political views of that one teenager… except she actually is running for office.

I’m so proud. My 5yo son has beaten Breath of the Wild all by himself. Well, I helped him with the reading and some of the puzzles and fought one Lynel for him, but the rest was all him.
You want your kids to exceed you one day…
There were a number of boss fights he kept dying in, but he tried over and over. I want to teach my kids stick-to-itiveness. I guess the next game I’ll get him is Dark Souls.

Napoleon Dynamite couldn’t be made today because everyone would assume the main characters were incels and thus it would be considered a horror movie.

Men and women are the same species but have some completely different organs and many other differences is physiology. It’s kinda weird, but it’s common among many different animals.
Did you know that only the female mosquito drinks blood? To me that’s one of the weirdest sex differences.

If I were Elon Musk, I wouldn’t let anyone who made fun of me in my Mars colony.
“We have lots of red rocks and some breathable air, but you can’t have any of it.”

The Defenders really killed my enthusiasm for the Netflix Marvel series, but I’ve just finally started watching Jessica Jones season 2 and am enjoying it so far. Six episodes in and the pacing seems good.
The problem so far with these series is none of them have quite enough story for 13 episodes — and The Defenders failed to fill 8 without feeling like a lot of padding.
I should add that despite all sense and reason, I’m looking forward to Iron Fist season 2. It really seems like that should be a fun series.

Been teaching my oldest daughter to program. I don’t know why that feels like a political statement.
My 2yo daughter is getting STEM, too. Been reading her a book on the planets and she keeps wanting me to point out Jupiter and Venus in the night sky. It’s adorable. For my 5yo son, though, I’m sticking to educating him on what he does best: video games.

Do you guys want socialism or a bunch of welfare programs paid for by the affluence of capitalism? Because that’s two different things.
They’re both bad, though, but there’s a big difference in degree.

The main enemy of Medicare for All isn’t Republicans; it’s math.

How about instead of “Medicare for All” we have “Medicare for Some, Miniature American Flags for Others”.

One of the most creative animation sequences I’ve seen is the “Get Back Up Again” music number from Trolls.
It’s funny. I first knew of Anna Kendrick as the annoying friend from those Twilight movies my wife made me watch, so I hated her. But she’s delightful.

Guns are not a complicated device. Trying to suppress knowledge on how to make one is even more pointless than usual gun control.

The way forward on guns is to give up the fantasy you can keep people from obtaining guns.

How hard are 3D printers to operate? I have decades of experience in computer programming, and I can barely get a 2D printer to work over WiFi.

3D prints paper to use in 2D printer

If the Matrix were made today:
“I need guns. Lots of guns.”
suddenly sliding in front of Neo is one 3D printer

One day we’ll have people whining about how their rocket ship made out of pure diamond is so much smaller than what rich people have.

For all the people complaining about inequality: You’re already richer than 99.9% of all people throughout human history. If you’re unhappy with that, you’ll still be miserable when given more.

Idiots. The first thing you 3D print is more 3D printers.

At least 3D printed guns is a more fun completely made up problems than the usual ones people have been freaking out over lately.

Can you even find one American who has easier access to a 3D printer than to an actual, working firearm?

“A myriad of people to exchange pleasantries with.”
I’m trying to come up with a slogan for Twitter.

You know what they say about truth in advertising: don’t.

Why are we so worried about 3D guns? Aren’t 2D guns even easier to conceal?

Write for free? I don’t hug my kids for free.

What exactly is Russia’s big, evil long term goal here? Does Putin want one meeellion dollars?

Fellow conservatives: If you’re interested at all in “crossing the aisle”, don’t. Absolutely everyone on the left is now a raging a-hole who makes Trump look moderate and good tempered.
I kid. But so many are ultra silly these days while mistakenly thinking they’re very very serious people.

The recut season 4 of Arrested Development, despite still having some awkwardness (like the never ending recaps), feels a lot more like regular Arrested Development now.

Ultra-violent Robin and heavy-metal Aquaman should team up in an extremely dark, earnest movie that’s impossible for anyone to every take seriously.

Know what I’d pay for? A stripped down version of StackOverflow that uses less memory when you leave a hundred tabs to it open.

I accidentally ran sudo in sudo and it gave me access to alter time and space itself.

I’m not sure the left’s plan to mob and harass anyone who isn’t properly scared of the right is going to work out quite like they think.

People don’t know how to make a rational argument anymore. They know how to gang up on people in an attempt to set up barriers on what’s considered acceptable discussion. It’s mobs — which are bad and dumb — try to dictate what is good and right.

Saying something is beyond the realm of acceptable discussion should be a last resort, but for many people it’s the first and only resort.

So the “it’s an outrage to even suggest people not hate Ben Shapiro” incident ends with James Gunn getting fired.
It’s an interesting culture the left is making.

What needs to be dispensed with is the idea these outrage mobs are motivated by justice, concern for marginalized groups, or anything noble. It’s hate that motivates them, and often what enrages them lately is the suggestion they should hate less.

The first step is not bowing to the outrage mobs. The next step is condemning them when they arise and fostering some sense of shame to be a part of one.

One of the things I don’t like about renting through Amazon is the inconsistent rental periods that range from 24 to 72 hours randomly. Strange they can’t work that out with everybody.
I feel such a time pressure with the 24 hour ones.

Such random stuff with digital rights. 1st season of Supernatural on Netflix (and only the 1st) had to replace a lot of the music. We pay for no ads on Hulu, but that doesn’t extend to New Girl for some reason (I would love to hear the reason for the demand for ads by the studio).

If you think Obama’s only scandal was that he wore a tan suit, you are a bad person and a willing participant in everything that’s wrong with this country.

If you can’t say something nice about Ben Shapiro, then you’re more hateful than whatever you imagine him to be.

There are no parents in the DuckTales universe. There are only aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews.

Bad news for my youngest: She’s going to be demoted to co-middle child.

I think people are great and I like that I’ve help make a number of them.

The Shazam movie looks fun. The Aquaman movie looks like it’s at least trying to be fun. Hope for the DC Universe.

The most amazing thing still is that the Wonder Woman film somehow made a fun movie out of World War I.

I remember my first foray into mindless, partisan bickering: It was Super Nintendo versus Sega Genesis. It’s only gotten dumber since then.

Everyone in Hollywood is a horrible person and should be fired from everything.

During a difficult boss fight, I have to restrain myself from taking my son’s controller and fighting for him, but I want my kids to be strong.

Never knew that much about Elon Musk, so I’ve been reading Ashlee Vance’s book on him. Pretty fascinating what he’s accomplished. Don’t think I’d like to work for him, though.
I could easily imagine an alternate universe Frank who has no family and no writing aspirations and would eat up the engineer challenges of Tesla and SpaceX, working 16 hour days. Just not this Frank.

Got the NES Classic finally. Time to teach my kids some history.

If we could guarantee everyone the current level of healthcare for free but have no more medical advances, how many people would that kill? It might help to think of what that deal would mean a hundred years ago.
This is what socialism is about. It’s an attempt at a guarantee of the current level but retards advancement. It’s easy to see why it’s popular with affluent countries more worried about losing what they have than advancement. Of course, it also usually fails at the guarantee.
I wonder what a true capitalistic health care system would look like? We’re unlikely to ever see it as it just seems so scary. It doesn’t matter the history of success of capitalism; people want that sense someone cares and an empty guarantee.

Why didn’t any economists warn us that tariffs are bad?

Now that I’ve seen Arrested Development season 4 three times (twice in original format, once in recut), I’ve grown to like it. It’s not that weird, not-quite Arrested Development anymore.

Why don’t we eliminate want by passing a law saying the government gives everyone what they want? There’s no good reason.
What if the economic thinking of children were backed by the threats and force of government? I can only assume great things for all.

“I’ll show those foreign countries! I’ll tax consumer goods and make them more costly for Americans!”

This country is worth fighting for. But we’re not supposed to be fighting each other.

You all died from the tax cuts and the Kavanaugh nomination is part of purgatory.

The sad thing is I’ve barely been aware that the World Cup has been going on because this year Americans didn’t even care enough to keep making fun of it.

Remember the World Cup with vuvuzelas? I was so sure that year that the World Cup was just some prank the rest of the world plays on the U.S. by pretending to enjoy it to trick us into watching it.

“I heard you’re a racist.”
“No. I’m a democratic racist.”
“Oh. That sounds better.”

It’s been an exciting World Cup. A total of four goals have been scored between all the games so far.

Isn’t people calling the cops on kids selling things without a permit the future socialists want?

I remember my first experience with bottled water was setting up a stand to sell drinks (illegally?) at a pick your own strawberry patch during the summer. I was amazed people would pay a dollar for it (a can of Coke was only $0.60).

I hate InfoWars. I hate the left’s obsession with banning things even more.

Have people tried ridiculing Trump? Maybe that will stop him.

I really like Ghosted now that Toby has taken over as show runner. Too bad it’s already been canceled.

So now you’re persona non grata if you donate to one of two major political parties? This is why people are more scared of the left than Trump.

I’m okay with shaming people who donate to either political party, but it has to be done equally. If you only shame for one, you’re a horrible person and contributing to what’s wrong with this country.

The clause saying someone has to be 35 to be president was put there to keep a dog from being president but I think a dog would do a pretty good job.

My 5yo son fought Waterblight Ganon in Breath of the Wild, shooting him in the eye and quickly switching to a shield to parry back a thrown spear as the finishing blow. So awesome. Brought a tear to my eye.

Trump should be removed from office because of Russian meddling and Obama should be retroactively removed from his second term for dismissing Russian threats and Romney should be made president.

“Hi, we just want to interrupt Trump reminding you he is ridiculous to also remind that the journalists covering Trump are also ridiculous.”

One of the failures of The Last Jedi is that made people more sexist for having watched it.

POE: “Admiral, what’s your plan?”
HOLDO: “If you loved me, you’d already know my plan.”
POE: “Um… uh… And why aren’t you wearing your military uniform?”
HOLDO: “IT MADE ME LOOK FAT!”

Finn steels himself as he prepares to collide with the laser cannon
Rose comes out of nowhere and smashes into his vehicle
Enraged, Finn emerges from the wreck
FINN: “What was that?!”
ROSE: “Oh. Hey, Finn. I was wondering: Where are things between us?”

I thought Rey was actually better in The Last Jedi, though. Less of a Mary Sue.

Are you telling me the socialist is kind dumb? ::surprised face emoji::

Sure Trump isn’t great, but we spent years trying to find the next president after Obama and he was the best we could come up with. Everyone should support him.

Dearest McKenna,
Our first assault went poorly as we retreated immediately, scared off by the gunfire. Our guns were louder than we thought.
#secondcivilwarletters

How would you rank the Harry Potter books? I think I’d go with:
5
7
4
6
3
1
2

What would really heal the divide in this country is if Democrats joined Republicans to unanimously vote through whoever is the modern day equivalent of Bork.

Ocasio-Cortez does seem as dumb as turnip, but all the attention is making it appear like the right is scared of her.
I don’t think anyone is scared of her, I just see a lot of dumb attacks… which seems pointless since Ocasio-Cortez is an open socialist. If someone loudly announced, “I’m a racist!” would you need to comb her background for little details to prove she’s bad?

People worry about having kids because it ruins all your plans, but your plans are stupid.

My recommendation for Star Wars Episode IX is that it not be the sort of movie where they have to spend a bunch of time afterwards telling long time Star Wars fans they’re bad people for not liking it.

Did they ever apologize to the incels who were absolutely right about the girl Ghostbusters?

You can’t bring sick birds into the U.S. because of Trump’s crackdown on ill eagle immigration.

The five warmest years on record have all happened since we started keeping a record of how warm years are.

I hope Trump makes a SCOTUS pick everyone can get behind, like Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson.

My 5yo is trying to play through Breath of the Wild by himself because he wants to make his old man proud.

Ever see that Futurama where Fry is trying to keep his grandpa from getting killed and ends up getting him blown up with a nuke? I keep thinking of something like that happening with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the left.

I’m hearing rumblings that Trump is going to be nominating a judge or something.

Remember when the Republicans blocked Merrick Garland so a Republican president might appoint the next SCOTUS but then Trump got the nomination and they were like “Oh noes! Hillary will appoint the next SCOTUS!” but then Trump somehow won and nominated Gorsuch? That was hilarious.

So Barret will replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

The opposition to Kavanaugh looks so paint by the numbers. Their heart just doesn’t seem into it. I wanted Barret… a real fight both sides could get worked up over.

If Ruth Bader Ginsburg gave in and retired while Trump is in office, she would be so hated by the left that she’d probably never eat at Red Hen again.

“Kavanaugh is not that scary and we can’t do anything to stop him, but we all have to go through the motions here, people.”

I was a member of a union when I had a job at a supermarket as a teenager. They took 5 dollars out of every paycheck and I remember them sending me a newsletter listing a bunch of bad thing about Bob Dole and good things about Bill Clinton.

I wasn’t a card carrying member of the union, though, as I lost my card 🙁

Can just see a union rep reading about the Supreme Court decision in the paper, the cigar falling from his mouth and bouncing off his belly.

The Supreme Court seems really inefficient. They have to write these long opinions to dominate the news cycle while all trump has to do is tweet.

If I had to guess, I think Cocaine Mitch delayed the replacement of Scalia because he could and will stop the replacement of Kennedy from being delayed also because he can.

If the left are still worried that over 40 years later that Roe v. Wade could overturned at any moment, maybe they should try and pass an abortion amendment to the Constitution.

Not sure what the text of that should be.
Amendment 28: ABORTIONS FOR ALL!

Amendement 28: None of the rights listed here should be construed as applying to the dreaded enemy of casual sex: Babies!

I’m not one of those “Look at me drink from my mug of liberal tears” guys, but I tried to get coffee today and all they had was an abundance of liberal tears.
I always drink my coffee black, so it was a little too sweet for me.

CONS: “Look at us own the libs with our new supreme court justice!”
NEW SUPREME COURT JUSTICE: “Owning the libs is unconstitutional because of the 13th Amendment.”
CONS: “Oh no!”

Strange how humans are the only animal to completely understand the reproductive process and also the only animal to seem surprised when the reproductive act results in reproduction.

Everyone is freaking out about the Supreme Court now but they’ll be forgetting all about this in a year when they’re busy picking out their red robes and bonnets or whatever it is they wear in that show. I’m making a Handmaid’s Tale joke here people!

I’m used to far right hucksters who don’t actually believe in anything and just try to stir things up, but Jennifer Rubin seems like this rare center-right huckster who doesn’t actually believe in anything and just likes a paying gig.

Maybe Episode IX can save the Star Wars franchise if the opening scroll is an apology.

My theory on why Holdo had purple hair and a prom dress is so the audience would be dismissive of her and take Poe’s side and then we’d get our comeuppance along with him… except to a lot of us she still seemed dumb at the end.

So have we moved on from the kids being separated from their parents? Because some people were acting like they were ready for a military coup just a few days ago.

A good phrase for any political outrage, no matter how big: “This too shall pass. And sooner than you think.”

Every once in a while I run into random people I’ve never interacted with who have me blocked. Don’t they know I’m a pretty cool dude?

Was’t Roe v. Wade a big example of legislating from the bench? There aren’t any mention of trimesters in the Constitution.

To me, what they did to Luke Skywalker in The Last Jedi was actually one of the parts I objected to the least. Everything outside of the Rey/Kylo/Luke scenes were pretty much garbage.
From a rewatch of The Last Jedi, the first half hour was actually good. Then Rose and Holdo get introduced and everything gets stupid except for some of the drama with Rey and Kylo.
The Last Jedi is about an hour of good Star Wars in a two and a half hour movie.
The Force Awakens, despite its flaws, left me interested in a few mysteries and where the story went next. The Last Jedi completely wiped that out. The only thing left at the end was “Will the Resistance beat the New Order run by young idiots Hux and Kylo?” Probably.

I haven’t encountered it yet, but what’s it like when someone disagrees with you on the internet? Do you learn a lot?

I’ve read the Constitution before and I think understood the gist of it. How much does Supreme Court Justice pay?
I can telecommute for that, right? I don’t want to move to D.C.

I hope we get a Plinkett review of The Last Jedi. That would be epic.

The foundation of socialism is the violence of the state. You can’t interrupt peaceful, voluntary exchange without it.

My 5yo saw on the news about Trump separating kids from their parents and turned to me with tears in his eyes and said, “I want candy!”

I don’t even get the left anymore. They keep proposing all these horrible ideas—government crackdown on free speech, court packing—like they’re in charge but it’s while Trump is in charge. Do they understand how government power works?

If you think guns are bad and owning them only leads to harm, disarm the government. Maybe when it’s disarmed, the civilians will follow.

Season 6 of Community is pretty amazing in that, despite all the changes, it still feels like Community.

While Trump is going through his list for a Kennedy replacement, he might as well get two others ready to replace Ginsburg and Breyer.

What era in this country was better than now?

Can never remember if the one actor’s name is Keith David or David Keith.

watches There Will Be Blood
“I drink your milkshake!”
“Oh no! No no no!”
quickly writes Seattle’s bill to ban straws

The Dem nominee will need to vow to abolish ICE and close Gitmo.

My 2yo was hitting me while shouting “Hippie!” Kids learn from example.

Fireworks are dumb. At least Michael Bay attempts to add a plot to his explosions.

I think a Wednesday holiday is fun. It’s a mini-weekend in the middle of the week!

How about the right go along with the left in abolishing ICE and in exchange the left go along with the right in abolishing the IRS?

I don’t own nuking the moon anymore than one can own the moon or nukes. It’s America that owns the moon. And no one can prove I own nukes.

Star Wars is in trouble. Solo isn’t even close to profitable, and The Last Jedi didn’t make anywhere near as much as The Force Awakens plus they had to use most of TLJ’s profits to pay people to pretend they liked it.

You know, some of these things we say about Trump could be hurting his feelings.

I don’t think most of you shouting about this actually care about children or families. Sorry.
It is something a normal human should care about, but I don’t think most of you have normal human feelings when it comes to partisan issues.

If I understand things, Republicans don’t care about ending the child separation and Democrats don’t want to end it because they like it as an issue.
One could probably do a good paper on public choice theory about all this.

But if the problem is solved, then we’ll have to find new things to yell about. That could take… minutes.

Nazi Germany: Could it happen in America? Unlikely. Barely anyone here speaks German, so I don’t see how it could ever be more than fringe.

The retooled Ghosted is good, though now it’s just an office comedy.

The bright side of both sides being constantly dishonest to you is you can’t really be sure things are as bad as they seem.

Wait. Your solution to the problem is “elect Democrats.” We tried that. It was awful.

So now do we have to build family-size cages? How much of my tax dollars is going to this?

Wouldn’t it be simpler if the Democrats just argued for open borders instead of fighting every single enforcement measure?

Your two sides to choose from in the immigration debate are racists or liars.

journalists see picture of Obama in 2014 punching an immigrant child
“Look what Trump’s rhetoric has done!”

I loved the surprise at the end of the Creed 2 trailer. They kind of glossed over that in Creed (as the later Rocky movies didn’t really match the tone of Creed) but now they’re going for it.

It’s too late to fix The Last Jedi. Just start Episode IX with Rose being executed for treason for her attack on Finn.

The main thing holding back the pro-immigration side is the whole arguing against all enforcement while not just coming out for open borders. It makes you look like dishonest weasels which causes people to be dismissive of your arguments.
Another thing is the whole trying to blur the distinction between illegal immigration and legal immigration. People notice that and know you’re trying to pull as fast one on them.

If you see something written on the back of my jacket, know that that’s not supposed to be there. You do not actually have permission to kick me.

When things look unbelievably horrible, just console yourself with the fact the media is probably lying to you.

The only long term solution to illegal immigration is for Mexico to get a per capita income comparable to ours. That works pretty well at the Canadian border.

It’s funny how easily we parents can be manipulated by a picture of a crying child when from experience we know that small children cry all the time for no good reason and you can’t read that much into it without knowing the full context.

desperately
“Is she hurt?”
“No. I just told her she couldn’t have another piece of candy.”

The success of Jurassic World is almost as baffling me to me as the success of Avatar. I don’t even remember anything from it other than the feeling that Chris Pratt was kind of wasted in it.
I honestly have a hard time believing anyone is excited for the sequel to Jurassic World. Double so for Avatar.

Being constantly dishonest does not help convince people that you stand on unassailable moral high ground.

Journalists have ran with so many falsehoods to get at Trump that I now bet they’ve successfully convinced many Americans that child separation isn’t even happening.

Though we’ve taught language to apes like Koko, apparently the one thing an ape has never done is ask a question. So apes would not make good conspiracy theorists.
Seriously, though, that’s a pretty interesting distinction between humans and non-humans. Supposedly a parrot named Alex once asked “What color am I?” and that’s the only non-human example of a question.

Stop all the hyperbole. The only one worse than Hitler is Punchler.

When people say “organized crime,” I still picture men in pinstripe suits with fedoras holding Tommy guns, though I bet it looks different now.

It’s kind of unfair the right keeps focusing on the things the media gets wrong instead of the 32% of the time they get something right.

Did Donald Trump really autograph the pictures of the dead kids? I was kind of expecting something to come out that made that not as weird as it sounds, but nothing so far.

Do you think kicking people out of restaurants convinces them that they should rethink their politics or does it convince them that the other side is a bunch of hateful a-holes?

Trump is even worse than I expected and the alternative on the left is even more worser.

Rewatching Community, there’s only a few parts of the 4th season where you’re not thinking “This is the 4th season.” The body switching episode stands with some of the best, but a lot of the season almost feels like it’s fan-made.
5th season is back on point, though. Man, I hope we get our promised movie.

We are a bunch of spoiled rich kids who obsess on dumb things because we have no real problems except what to do with all the people trying to sneak into our awesome country.

Got a Raspberry Pi and got it up and running. I guess it’s just a computer until I get some stuff to connect up to it. Might just get a starter kit to do some projects with the kids and then we’ll figure out how to make our robot.
Might go with Python for programming since I think that will be easier for my daughter to learn, but I can’t get over my bias that scripting languages are for babies. I want to program embedded circuits in low-level C, like a man.
Found out I can also get an Arduino start kit with projects pretty cheap (like $30) so might get that too for further options. Could always use the two things together for part of our robot.
Pulled out my breadboard; I haven’t used that since college. Same goes for my soldering iron. I started out an electrical engineer, but work mainly software now. I want to wire things up. Getting excited!
Reason I’m doing this now is I’m creative with writing, but not my programming and electronics ability. So I’m going to borrow my kids for that. This is going to be the Axe Cop of robots. They tell me what they want, and I’ll make it happen.

Is there any dispute that women and minorities on the right get a disproportionate amount of hate from the left versus white males on the right?

I think the hate comes first from red versus blue tribalism and then the expression of the hate (racism, sexism, other bigotry) comes second.
Think of people making fun of Michael Moore. They’ll often go after his weight, though they wouldn’t make fun of random fat people like that. The hate came first, then the fat shaming.
Maybe we sometimes get too focused on how hate is expressed—racism, sexism—and not the root hate that would exist even if people curbed their sexist or racist impulses.
Many people have the idea its good to hate certain people. It’s usually of the form “these people are hateful, so it’s good for me to hate them.” I think it’s easy to see how that can end up being circular.

Parenting is easy. It’s just equal parts “Nice to meet you, hungry,” and idle threats.

It’s too bad Buzz Hickey (Jonathan Banks) was only in the one season of Community. His character and intensity was absolutely hilarious—I think a better funny old guy than Pierce.
Yeah, rewatching Community, the 3rd season got a little flabby (though it had some genius episodes), the 4th season was, well, the 4th season, but the 5th season is grade A.

If we had a new civil war, it would be the Seinfeld of civil wars—a civil war about nothing.

I’m fine with mobs chasing away Trump cabinet members as long as that also happens to Maxine Waters and the rest of the Democrats. No one from D.C. should feel welcome anywhere.

What gets my goat is not the suggestion that Trump and his cronies are too horrible to be a part of polite society but the implicit suggestion that his opponents in the other party are acceptable.

The problem with George Will’s column is he was accurate in how awful the Republicans are but just kind glossed over how awful the Democrats are.

Remember when a guy shot up a bunch of Republican congressmen playing baseball? Everyone still agrees that was a bad thing, right?

I don’t want a whole news cycle about Maxine Waters. I don’t think any more people take her seriously than Samantha Bee.

You can’t reason with Nazis. If history has taught us anything, it’s that the only thing you can do with Nazis is shoot them with your Gatling gun, find the keys, work your way through the level, and finally fight Hitler in a robot exoskeleton.

The way things are shaping up, 2020 will once again be a choice between two unbelievably horrible options and then you just vote for the one who doesn’t direct all of their hate at you personally.

watches “The Hysterical Idiot’s Tale” in which people watch “The Handmaid’s Tale” and actually believe it has some relation to reality
“This is just like what’s happening in this country right now!”

“I’m preventing the next Hitler!”
“No, you’re just a hysterical, partisan idiot.”
“I’m stopping families from being torn apart!”
“You don’t actually care about that.”
“I will never let this go!”
“You’ll forget all of this when you have a new thing to make fun of Mike Pence over.”

Can’t the left play some pen and paper D&D type game where they fight Hitler? All their LARPing is getting irritating.

When they go low, we go lower, and then they go even lower and so on until we’ve drilled into the earth’s core and the country is destroyed by volcanoes.

When they go low, we go high. Higher ground is a tactical advantage. Air supremacy!

Remember, there’s only one way to stop Nazis: Hate-filled mobs targeting undesirables.

Everyone wants their hate and anger to be righteous. That certainly isn’t something that makes you different than the Nazis.

Everyone just needs to trust mobs more in that they’ll only focus their wrath on who deserves it.

I do fell like I should get a “verified Twitter user” badge to wear so businesses know to treat me well as otherwise it will be a PR disaster.

The left make a good argument that Trump is a detestable human being who shouldn’t wield such power. They just don’t make a very good argument that they’re better and lately tend to argue vehemently the opposite.

“You’re the Nazis!”
“No, you’re the Nazis!”
“No you!”
“No you!”
“Actually, we’re both garbage people.”
“You’re right. Why are we fighting? Let’s be friends and make life miserable for everyone else.”
-my worse fear

Wow. Everyone sure has a lot of excuses for why it’s good for then to act like a-holes.
I can only assume because they’re kind, good people whose politics would enrich this nation.

What did Jesus say about enemies? He said to something your enemies. Punch? Yell at?
I dunno. Probably some silly Christian thing.

People are talking about “civility,” but what we have in this country are the exact conditions that led to the rise of Team Rocket. So while we’re all being polite, pikachu gets stolen. And then what’s next? Genocide. Or maybe they steal Bulbasaur.

Before you dispute my comparison with today and the rise of Nazi Germany, know that as a kid I repeatedly played the shareware version of Wolfenstein 3D, so I know a lot about Nazis.

If you’re afraid of the rise of Nazism, luckily Trump appointed Gorsuch so there was a slim majority against government compelled speech.

The Supreme Court is dumb. It’s important to note this after every decision, whether you agree or disagree with it.

“We own that seat because the one justice died while our guy was president!”
Does everyone understand how unbelievably dumb this system is?

It’s fantasy to think the left were ever going to be as motivated about replacing Scalia as the right. Opposite would be true if RBG had died.
Survival!

Our immigration policy is just like Nazi Germany. The travel ban is the same as internment. This prickly pear is basically a hedgehog.

Told my 5yo how Trump is taking children away.
He looked up at me and said, “Good.”
“Don’t you understand. These poor kids–”
“Make America great again!” he yelled and put on a MAGA hat.
I’m scared. I’ve locked myself in the bathroom and he’s pounding on the door. Please help!

The snowspeeder is the best vehicle from Star Wars. #DontAtAtMe

I don’t get Charlie Kirk. He’s like a left-winger wished upon a star that the straw man he was arguing with would become a real boy.

Part of what makes the Resistance so silly is they treat Trump like he’s Hitler when, as villains go, he’s more like Team Rocket.

Just for the heck of it, I decided to check out the Spotify top 50 for the heck of it to get with today’s youths. Meh. It wasn’t like it was bad, it just all sounded kind of the same to me.
It’s funny the two that stood out — both as “this is kind of irritating, I think I’ll skip” and “that’s kind of good” — were both Kanye West.

One other change from listening to more modern music instead of ads for erectile dysfunction medication I got ads for herpes medication.

I’m guessing a lot of political hate is projection. If you thought someone was so hateful they’d celebrate someone they disagreed with dying of cancer, then maybe you’d feel justified celebrating that person dying of cancer.

I can’t follow politics anymore. It’s gotten too weird and dumb, like the second half of the second season of Twin Peaks.

I just can’t tell what’s a real outrage and what’s partisan nonsense anymore. Like, is the separating children from their parents thing as bad as the tax cut, because I saw grown men weep over the death of our nation because of the latter.

One good thing about Trump’s America is I feel much less of a need to even feign interest in soccer.

I’ve always thought of soccer like Pong. I can understand people lining up to play Pong when it was the only video game, but I don’t get people playing it now when there are much better options.
And the clock counts up. Have you not seen how all other sports have the clock count down and that is much much better? So primitive.

Marriage as it stands in law is kind of taken from the Bible… just a weirdly mutated version. It started out following the Christian concept, then there were changes to divorce and the genders involved, but the Christian prohibition of polygamy has been kept for some reason.
Interestingly, a lot of the same statements by Jesus Christians use to oppose gay marriage are also the basis for opposing polygamy, but I don’t see Christians get in trouble for opposing the latter as it remains a popular religious view.

Government can’t ever be fully secular as law will always be based on some principles which inevitably will be somewhat religious in nature. E.g. central to American law is equality, which makes no sense unless you believe in something similar to the Christian concept of a soul.
That said, we should strive for a secular government and leave religious debate to the private sector, but at the same time there are going to be at least some religious principles baked into the very nature of law.

Got Fortnite for the Switch since it’s free, but I don’t really get that game. The kids seem to like it, though.
I kind of liked PBGU when I played that a little bit on the iOS version. Takes a lot of patience, though.

Oh no. Elon Musk is making fun of socialists. Who is he going to make fun of next? Racists?

Since America landed on the moon first it owns the moon and since then every country has had to pay us a million dollars for using the tides.

I’m getting kind of tired of hearing women talk about masculinity because what do they know about that? I’m also tired of hearing men talk about it as it’s just a weird thing to talk about. Just be a good dad who protects his family and puts them above himself.

So do you want open borders or kidnapping children? As apparently those are the only two choices now.

I think a lot of people look at fathers as this sort of optional parent, though it’s kind of like eyeballs are optional but kids are at a big disadvantage without them.

I don’t get yelling “God is great!” and randomly attacking people. Seems more like something you should yell when handing out free candy.

This is just like Nazi Germany when people were trying to sneak kids into Nazi Germany but Hitler was all like, “Stay outta here!” and then bragged about how he was smart and a billionaire.
To be honest, I don’t read any history books that don’t deal with the making of Star Wars.

I’m one of those horrible globalists who likes immigration. In my perfect world, everyone who wants to be an American would get to be one. I just want some basic controls to make sure no bad people are getting in like pedophiles or socialists.

This world is too crazy. I’m running away and joining Space Force.

My dog is so old I feel like I’m disrespecting my elders when I correct her.

I watched Thor: Ragnarok with my kids and my 5yo cried when the hammer was destroyed.
“Will it ever come back, daddy?”
He’s just a sensitive little boy who wants to see bad guys smashed with a hammer.

Funny to see how many people hate Laura Bush. That’s like hate splash damage.

So when you put your toddler in a box with bars, it’s a “play pen,” but when the government does it and the bars are metal and its sealed and locked on all sides and suspended from the ceiling by a chain, suddenly it’s a “cage.”

Comparing absolutely everything to the Nazis is the exact sort of thing a Nazi would do.

I’m still not a 100% certain Trump isn’t just some actor doing a bit.

Trump wants prison reform? Let’s show him by MAKING PRISONS WORSE THAN EVER! #Resistance

“What’s Ivanka Trump up to today and how can we get angry about it?”

The challenge of the left is concealing the fact they’re even more hateful than the bigots they rail against.

“I got it. Since we really don’t like her and she’s a woman, why don’t we swear at her with specific vulgar terms for women.” -professional comedy writer

Bad political humor is like writing humor in easy mode. As long as the audience really hates whomever the target is, you don’t even need to be slightly clever to get a laugh. You can just say “@#$% that guy!” and get a chuckle.

Which outcome — Samantha Bee keeping her job or being fired — leads to me having to hear less about her?

I don’t care if Samantha Bee keeps her show and spends the rest of her life making smug liberals more smug. I just want partisans to stop pretending they care about anything — feminism, racism, basic decency — outside of partisanship.

I just want to scream hate at everyone outside my tribe and get praised for it. Is that too much to ask?

The left and right need to stop rallying behind hateful people. There are no right people to hate.

I’m so tired of the “this is the bad angry, hateful person and this is the good angry, hateful person” arguments.

I just want to be praised as brave for yelling hateful things at the people my peers all hate.

I wasn’t going to bother to see Solo in the theater, but word of mouth has now made we want to. Looking at the box office, though, it’s not going to be there long.

It’s just like with forgiveness: You have to pardon yourself before you pardon others.

The problem with marriage is that it’s a religious ceremony on which the state has placed legal significance. There’s no happy ending with that configuration. There was conflict because of that before gay marriage and there will continue to be more in the future.

My 5yo asked today, “Why do the people who say they’re against bigots sound so much more hateful than the people they accuse of being bigots?”
And I said, “Don’t be so precocious or no one will believe these conversations actually happened.”

If the Supreme Court decision had gone the other way, there probably would have been a mass movement to pass some sort of Amendment that protects religious freedom.

Scholars now agree that Jesus shouldn’t have said anything when asked about marriage so as to avoid saying anything divisive.

I just want to use government to bully powerless people who disagree with me and be seen as a hero.

When you’re a kid, you think you can do anything. But at some point in your life you have to admit to yourself you’re never going to learn how to fold a shirt.

I thought the funniest joke in Arrested Development season 5 was Lucille reacting to Trump talking about building a wall. It’s hard to do Trump jokes that aren’t tiresome (see latest season of Kimmy Schmidt) but they nailed it.

One may to drastically improve The Last Jedi is to make Holdo more like Hordor in that she only says her name.
“Admiral, do you even have a plan to escape the First Order fleet?”
“Holdo!”

Someone has to have actually killed someone for me to consider saying something bad at the time of their death. So like Osama bin Laden. Or Ted Kennedy.

One thing that convinces me someone’s politics must be right is them celebrating someone dying of cancer. No Nazi would feel that strongly about something—only someone with smart, good politics would be that constantly bitter and cruel.

The WWDC was fun. Sometimes you just need to loosen up and talk low-level programming details.
My big conclusion from the talks was that machine learning is neato and I need to find some use for it.

The left’s new strategy is to starve out bigots by monopolizing most of the hatred.

Canada is trying to destroy our country with its tariffs on dairy. And it’s working. The only thing left is for us to surrender unconditionally and beg for mercy. Does anyone speak Canadian?

I didn’t realize how much watching lots of scifi allowed me to easily accept the rules of time travel in the 3rd Harry Potter. It made my daughter cry, though.
tears in her eyes
“But who threw the rock the first time before Hermione time traveled?!”

Our habit, BTW, has been to read the first chapter or two of the book, watch the movie, and then finish the book. I don’t think she’s quite ready for the 4th Harry Potter where the assurance during scary parts of “Don’t worry; everything turns okay in the end,” is no longer true.

What percentage of the population has seen a single thing nominated at the Tony awards?

Just a reminder: The question isn’t whether someone should “bake a cake,” the philosophical question is are you willing to use violent force if they won’t.

The question constantly seems to be “How do we defeat the other side?” when what is supposed to be America’s strength is learning to live together in peace despite disagreements.

Remember pre-Trump’s election when we all thought we understood politics? Those were simpler times.

Donald Trump seems like the sort of person that would go to IHOP and order a burger.

I don’t really understand when the left is against coddling up to murderous dictators.
Me, I don’t think I could do diplomacy. I have too much of a sense of right and wrong to avoid strangling people who really deserve a strangling when they get in strangling range.

I’ve decided to be more dishonest, but in a way that will increase my following and make me politically relevant.

DVDs are the worst when you just want to watch the friggin’ movie. I don’t need to know the commentary doesn’t necessarily reflect the studios views if I’m not listening to the commentary! And I definitely don’t you need to take time repeating that message in French!

How good is Chick-fil-A? They make more money per store than any other fast food chain while being open only six days a week and being under constant boycotts.

No one has ever disagreed with me on the internet. You must all be doing something wrong.

My son turns 5 on May 16th. A lot of expectations on him as he currently is the only male heir of the Fleming name. He’s already very good at Mario, though.

What do you mean by Net Neutrality? Does that mean you’re going to treat the internet used by nazis, incels, and [third group everyone hates] the same as everyone else’s? No thank you!

Maybe election of Trump wasn’t so much a big change to this country as a catalyst to us noticing what already had changed.

Is the Democratic Party a terrorist organization? Well, I don’t like terrorists and I don’t like the Democrats, so probably.

If you want a fun read, the anthology Modern Magic is only $0.99. And it includes a short story by me.

I never bothered to find out who Michael Cohen is. There’s only so much of this Trump stuff you can follow.

If you just ignore Trump, he’ll go away.

I marvel at how Trump is one of the worst human beings I have ever seen and yet all legitimate criticism of him gets buried under dishonest freak outs.

I’m going to end up voting for Trump in 2020 because the Trump presidency has made me deathly afraid of worse than Trump.

If anything sounds outrageous, assume it’s being misrepresented until there’s clear evidence it is not. Apply special scrutiny if it’s outrageousness that goes along with your own biases—that’s someone pretending to be on your side but trying to trick you.

Almost nothing is salacious as first represented. And don’t even pay attention to what the headlines trying to get you to click say.

Shouldn’t Neil deGrasse Tyson be chiming in to explain to Trump that technically all people are animals?

If you look at the full context of the quote, when Trump said, “They’re not even people. They’re animals,” he was talking about squirrels.

MS-13 is a lame ass name for a gang. Whatever happened to names like “Crips” or “Bloods”? MS-13 sounds like a gang made up of astrophysicists.

1. Trump constantly uses immigrants as a scape goat and what he says should always be scrutinized (didn’t we learn anything from the Simpsons episode on illegal immigrants?).
2. Everyone pretending Trump’s animal statement was about all illegal immigrants is worse than Trump.

“It takes nuance to explain why Trump’s statement is bad. This is so hard.”
“I have a solution: FAKE NEWS. Just claim Trump was calling Mexican children animals.”
“That makes the argument so much easier! What’s the catch?”
“You lose your credibility.”
“I never needed that!”

“Also, you’re basically contributing to Trump being reelected in 2020.”
“To be honest, I kind of want that. I love yelling angrily all the time!”

This freak out is over nothing. If you listen to the original context of Trump’s “These aren’t people. These are animals.” quote, you realize he’s actually talking about people who hear “yanny.”

So can Alden Ehrenreich now just make a gig out of doing prequels to Harrison Ford movies. I want young president from Air Force One!

“So there’s a wolf that’s been spotted in the neighborhood–”
“It’s fifty feet tall.”
“No. But it’s very concerning and–”
“It’s armed with a machine gun.”
“That’s… No. But we need to–”
“It’s funded by Russia.”
“Will you shut up!”

I assumed the threat of MS-13 was being overblown since I don’t trust Trump, but now other people I don’t trust are doing overtime belittling the problem of MS-13 and I don’t know who not to trust more.

What if MS-13 gets an AR-15 and lubricates it with WD-40 so they can conquer extrasolar planet HD 189733 b?

I’m very open to arguments that Trump is awful and racist, you just have to not constantly lie to me. That’s all.

Gina Haspel: “Glad that confirmation hearing is over. It was pure torture!”

Hey, Disney, you paid $4 billion for Star Wars; give me fifty bucks and I’ll come up with at least one decent story idea to do with it.

Calling the NRA a terrorist organization is beyond stupid. Absolutely no one is scared of the NRA… except for politicians up for reelection. And they’re just scared of the NRA members’ votes.

Hamas organizes peaceful protests against the existence of Jews.

We need to respect the humanity and dignity of everyone who agrees with me politically.

What is with the low birth rates in rich countries? I know how evolution works, so my wife and I are having at least three kids. If you’re not above replacement, you’re not even playing the game.

Trump is so racist he talks about minorties the same way a left-winger talks about Midwesterners.

Though the Republicans that abandoned all their principles to always support Trump are weird, the Republicans who abandoned all their principles to always oppose Trump are weirder.

Maybe right after people lied about the president’s statement just to stir things up isn’t the best time to have a “you must recognize the humanity of even nazis and murderous gang members” discussion, as worthy as that is.
There could have been a discussion about how Trump’s statement was bad even directed at gang members, but that’s ruined now. You’ll have to wait for the next bad Trump statement (not a long wait) and see if everyone can be honest about it this time.

We did a nationwide search for a President of the United States and Donald Trump was absolute best we could find.

I find Jordan Peterson kind of weird, but in the same I find more college professors kind of weird when they go deep in their subjects.
“I was kind of following you, but then you went a little too far…”

What’s HIGH-larious is how alarming people find Jordan Peterson.
Man, everyone just needs to calm down these days.

What’s weird to me is that my first experience of Jordan Peterson came from my wife and some of her friends being obsessed with him (two found religion because of him). I didn’t know he was like a guru for young men.

I read Jordan Peterson’s book. It was okay. Had some good ideas, but did not enrage me or change my life.
Anyway, I think his message about men taking responsibility is good. If there’s a masculinity crisis, that’s what it is.

There should be two types of places: One with armed guards and metal detectors and another where any law abiding citizen can conceal carry. I don’t get the existence of a third: law-abiding citizens are prohibited from having guns but nothing is done to stop criminals.

If you want to do something about school shootings now, the options are have an armed response ready or thoughts and prayers. Gun control falls under thoughts and prayers since no law can reliably stop a killer from getting one of the hundreds of millions of guns in circulation.

I’ve watched The Crown. It was weird. A monarchy in modern times is just bizarre.

Man, it is so inconvenient to get to the theaters. Would it be moral to buy tickets for a movie on Fandango and then just torrent it?

My mom recorded the royal wedding for my kids because they didn’t believe prince and princesses were a real thing.

Got a traditional British fish & chips and it came with “mushy peas.” I wondered what that was, but apparently it’s exactly what it says on the tin. Which leads me to my next question: Why?

Is there some sort of plan to stop Jordan Peterson from enforcing monogamy? Does the military have something drawn up?

You know, there are much dumber and less productive things than “thoughts and prayers” that happen after every school shooting.

Good rule of thumb: Causes of death rare enough to make the news are not the ones you need to worry about.

You know, guns have been around for hundreds of years, so if we have any new problems, we can probably eliminate them as the root cause.

I can see thinking Jordan Peterson is silly and dismissing him, but the freaking out about him is absurd. Reminds me of the moral panic about Dungeons & Dragons from the 80s.
That NYTimes profile of Peterson seemed designed to make people’s imaginations go wild so they’d freak out, such as the repeated use of the phrase “enforced monogamy” without defining what that meant.

Confiscating the 400 million guns in the U.S. sounds pretty daunting, but I’m sure as soon as guns are made illegal, we’d find that over 350 million of them had been lost in boating accidents.

I’ve always read “no one is talking about taking people’s guns” as “I want to take your guns, but I’m forced to acknowledge that’s politically unviable” and I don’t think that’s particularly cynical.

The most efficient thing to do is to tattoo your IQ test results to your forehead.

By age 35, you should be a black belt in at least three martial arts if you’re going to avenge your father’s death.

I don’t know what Obama’s Netflix show is going to be and I don’t plan on watching it, but obviously it should be called “Let Me Be Clear.”

Took my kids to an ice cream parlor, and the flavor my son settled on was vanilla. I almost refused to buy it for him. Please try and have a personality, boy.

“Helped Son Catch a Fish” fatherhood achievement unlocked!

I had fished with my dad as a kid, but I realized I had no idea what I was doing. I really wasn’t prepared for us to actually catch one.

I always found the national anthem a little creepy. Wouldn’t it be better for a sporting event to do something to show our dedication to the classical liberal principles that make the U.S. exceptional, such as publicly execute a Communist?

We used to publicly execute Communists all the time when I was a kid in the 80s; whatever happened to that?

What’s going on with the political circus today? A seemingly endless number of clowns are coming out of a tiny car labeled #Resistance to yell at Trump for blocking people on Twitter. How droll!

Not that long ago the term “white supremacy” meant something instead of being something you just rolled your eyes at.
Couple years ago:
“The Ku Klux Klan is a terrifying example of white supremacy.”
Today:
“The McDonald’s value menu is a terrifying example of white supremacy.”

I never really understood Colin Kaepernic’s protest against… freedom, I guess, but I never had a problem with it. Why can’t more people be like me and completely disregard what other people say or think?

“Phillip Phillips? More like Matt Matthews, Dave Matthews untalented younger brother.” -me just randomly burning my wife’s music selections since I’m clever and I’m supposed to use that to hate on things

I keep my privacy policy simple for your convenience: If I find out any information about you, I’m going to sell it.

I’m to the point now that if I see in a new Star Wars movie any character I recognize, I’m going to vomit.

I thought it would be neat to be really rich and live somewhere remote and just have people bring in all the stuff you need and then I realized you don’t need to be rich for that—that’s just Amazon.

My definition of NeverTrump is that I didn’t vote for him in 2016 and will continue to not vote for him through at least 2019.

Some free advice for Disney for their Star Wars property (though if they want to pay me like a hundred bucks, that’s okay): STOP MAKING PREQUELS!!!

Here’s my finished a week long camping trip with three small kids selfie.
It’s possibly the first photo ever where I look my age.

Not to be controversial, but if you were to make a list of the most civilized things man has ever done, violently killing millions of really tiny humans primarily for the cause of casual sex probably wouldn’t make the very top of the list.

I first felt like a father upon seeing a 10 week ultrasound of my child, and I remember vividly seeing the heartbeat and her move her limbs around. To another, that’s just trash and to disposed of as such. That’s very sad and will always be so.

That Elon Musk is getting into everything. I hear he’s now going to make a cologne. He’s going to call it “Elon’s Scent.”

Finally saw Black Panther. It was good!
I didn’t get Killmonger’s plan, though. Why not just go to Wakanda at any time? Why fiddle around with Klaue first?

If it’s something that happened under Obama but you didn’t complain about it until Trump, I’m going to assume it’s something you don’t actually care about.

I haven’t seen Solo yet and it’s probable I won’t see it until it’s on home video, but it’s better than The Last Jedi.

When I use Siri on my Apple Watch to set a timer, she’s started mispronouncing minutes (min-oo-tants), and I don’t know what to make of it.

Of Dan Harmon’s work, I definitely like Community—one of the best sitcoms of all time—better than Rick and Morty. While Rick and Morty is just too nihilistic for my tastes, Community is quite the opposite.

I finally saw Avengers: Infinity War. There’s really nothing to compare that to: Ten years (18 movies) leading up to one. That you could even follow it with that many characters is an accomplishment.
Ending is a bit of BS, though, in that you know it will be undone in the next one. Also, why did Thanos just suddenly say that day “I’m going to go get all six Infinity Stones” instead of having collected them for years?
Anyway, a few minor gripes, but overall really enjoyed it and was very impressed.

“Hmm. Which awful, proven liar do I trust more in this situation?” -politics in 2018

The critics made Solo sound pretty meh, but I’m now hearing a lot of good word of mouth about it that’s actually making we want to go see it.

I wonder how much Idris Elba made for his appearance in Avengers: Infinity War. He didn’t even need to stand for it.

When people criticize Trump for calling MS-13 gang members “animals,” it makes me think of this from The Onion.

Trump was elected president with the largest majority ever if you combine the people who voted for Trump with the people who actively drove people to vote for Trump.
The election of Trump is such a ridiculous event that it only happened because the whole country worked together to make it happen. In a way, every one of us played our own part in it.

I thought The Walking Dead had one of the greatest pilots I had ever seen, but I was bored of the series by the end of its 6 episode first season and haven’t watched it since. Did I miss anything?

Watched first two episodes of Arrested Development season 5, and it feels a lot more like old AR than season 4. Biggest laugh was Lucille reacting to Trump in ep 2.
“Clever twist.”

I don’t get ESPN bringing back Keith Olbermann unless someone there really misses firing him.

Remember when people took Keith Olbermann seriously as a political commentator? That feels like a million years ago.

Opposition to abortions stems from the fact it involves violently ripping apart a tiny human. If your argument for abortion is all about women’s rights but dances around the whole killing tiny humans part, you can be sure it won’t convince anyone.
It’s a bit like a vegan says to you “Meat is murder” and you respond about how great and tasty meat is. You might think you have a very compelling argument, but it leaves the central reason for the objection intact.
Similarly, if you’re arguing for making abortion illegal but dance around the whole needing to force women to remain pregnant using state violence if necessary, then you’re also definitely not convincing anyone.
Anyway, I like helping us all have intelligent debate of important issues. Hopefully with these ground rules we can hash out the abortion issue by the end of the day!

It’s good the Secret Service makes sure there aren’t any guns around when Trump gives a speech. Could you imagine what would happen if Trump got his hands on a gun?

It’s impossible for people to have so much they won’t whine about someone else having more. And they’ll say it’s the one they’re whining about who is greedy.

Billionaires have way more wealth than they deserve, but so do you.

A good use of a time machine would be to get an average person from a couple hundred years ago so you could explain your problems to him and he could then beat you up for being a whiny, entitled prick.

I got so pumped up from watching the first season I tried to remember one of my old katas from when I was a kid. My 2yo saw me and tried to imitate it, but she’s not Cobra Kai material.

Considering the pace they put out Rick and Morty, I don’t know what to think of a 70 episode order. It’s a bit like Bantam announcing they have a contract for 10 more books from George R.R. Martin.

With my next book, I might try a different strategy. With Sidequest, I wrote something everyone can enjoy, while a better strategy is to write something half the country hates and boycotts which causes the other half to buy it out of spite.

I simply don’t trust a man who doesn’t enjoy a properly cooked steak.
I’m okay with you not eating a steak for religious or moral or health reasons as long as you acknowledge you very much would enjoy a medium rare steak if you ate one.

I decided to try memeing again.

Owning the libs is much more economical than leasing them.

I still don’t get people not just using the “ignore” option for extreme voices — which is not only the best option but also the easiest. The best explanation I’ve heard is that some people treat their intellectual spaces like a church — they don’t want it profaned.
What college students need is bigger work loads. My major in Electrical and Computer Engineer kept me way to busy to even think about protesting things.
The thing is, the left wants to suppress some voices, they’re just terrible at it and tend to amplify what they target. Which is good for some voices that should be heard more but bad for some like Milo Yiannopoulos who would be unknown otherwise.

Guys, there’s less than two days left to get on the Bears Want to Kill You Kickstarter. While everyone is worrying about Donald Trump, climate change, diabetes and other completely imaginary nonsense, very real bears could kill us all.

I’ve always told my kids that if a bear attacked us, I would uppercut it so hard its head would explode. It’s been a while since I learned how to do that in Tae Kwon Do, though.

I’ve repeatedly had the police called on me, but it’s always like, “Hey, this guys is so awesome. Everyone from the police force should come, watch, and learn.”

I have no idea what anyone means anymore when they say “conservatism.” I’m pretty sure everyone now has their own version of what that means that exists solely in their own heads.
I try to use “left” and “right” now as those are kind of meaningless terms that just denote a side, while “conservative” and “liberal” are words that have meanings that tend to cut against how they’re actually used.
Many called “liberals” in the U.S. are literally conservative and have a status quo they want to preserve. Many called “conservatives” are trying to make radical change.
And when I see people say “liberals are wrong about everything” or “conservatives” are wrong about everything” that’s just insane. There are always things that need changing and things that should be preserved.
But people have definitions in their heads where “conservative” or “liberal” just means “people I disagree with on everything.” It’s really useless language that buries their point.
This rant was inspired by this Chait column, which I think had some good points but was buried under the fact that when he said “liberalism” or “conservatism”, I had no idea what he meant by that.
Like “conservatism is a failed dogma” — what does that mean? I thought part of what American conservatism is trying to conserve is classical liberalism — which means liberalism is a failed dogma! It’s all failed dogmas!
And most of the complaints about liberals these days amount to critiques on how illiberal they are. And I find it unclear on the right if conservatives are those opposed to Trump or are those opposed to Trump no longer considered conservative.
I wish there was a reset button and we could toss out the words — liberal, conservative, Republican, Democrat — and start over and figure out what the ideas we’re actually talking about are… if any ideas are left.

All I want is enough reputation to upvote good answers on Stack Overflow. I just never come up with a question I can’t eventually find an answer to on Stack Overflow — it just sometimes takes a long time which is why I want to upvote the good answers.

I refuse to listen to any argument that conservatives aren’t closed-minded.

The phrase “intellectual dark web” falsely implies there’s an intellectual light web. The mainstream is now all mindless tribalism and people repeating the same useless points like mantras.

Most of political debate now is debating why one doesn’t need to debate.

Maybe people should just build bubbles so strong they’re protected from knowing whether they won or lost elections and thus everyone is happy.

“So we ended up with Trump by being dismissive of the views of half the country. Well, guess what: We’re going to be even more dismissiver!” -left-wing genius in no need of hearing opposing views

“Han, you must continue the family business.”
“But I don’t want to make red plastic cups. I want to smuggle things… in space!”
“YOU’LL SULLY THE SOLO NAME!”

Fox just canceled Firefly again for good measure.

I have studied politics carefully and have determined that everyone who disagrees with me is dumb and bad and that no reasonable person could think otherwise. Thus there is nothing left to do with those who disagree with me except call them names and throw small rocks at them.

Are you saying me irrationally hating people could make them more hateful in response? Then I was right to hate these people so easily tricked into being hateful.

I don’t know how people so dumb and awful can be convinced they’re so right all the time. I blame the self-esteem culture. Kids need to be told “Shut up, dummy,” more often.

The left are always like, “Adolf Hitler and Karl Marx had some good ideas.” Yeah, maybe, if they were some ideas that didn’t have anything to do with politics or economics. Like if they said, “Let’s get pizza tonight.” Still, to be on the safe side, I’d get tacos.

It’s hard to believe that concept of “cultural appropriation” came from anything other than an extreme love of scolding.

“You’re racist!”
“No I’m not. Look I’m even embracing other cultures.”
“That’s culture appropriation and also racist.”
“You’re… you’re just pulling my leg now, right?”

What exactly is the end game with the left convincing themselves that tens of millions of Americans are racists and Nazis who shouldn’t be engaged with? It sounds ominous, but I’m guessing the end result will just be irritating.

Can I join the Intellectual Dark Web? I have lots of smart ideas that buck the status quo plus no one likes me.

I think I’d like to have a billion dollars. On one hand, people would yell at me, “You are bad. You are bad for having a billion dollars.” On the other hand, I’d have a billion dollars. The benefits outweigh the costs.

I always like the C.S. Lewis perspective that mother is the ultimate job with all othe jobs existing to support it.

If women were able to make the choice regardless of circumstances/finances, do you think we’d have more or less stay at home mothers?

You know who the American left remind me of? Adolf Hitler. And I don’t mean they all have mustaches like him. I mean they resemble him in temperament and politically.
I know what you’re saying. “What an extreme comparison! Adolf Hitler was widely regarded as the worst of the Hitlers! Some even say he was a nazi!” But the resemblance is uncanny.
If you listen to what I say with an open mind, I think you will have to agree that the left are literally Hitler (I’m using “literally Hitler” in the figurative sense).
Adolf Hitler hated listening to people who disagreed with him—just like the American left! When the left hear of someone that disagrees with them, they get extremely angry—just like Hitler used to get!
The American left love using the government to try and control people’s behavior, something Adolf Hitler loved as well! If Hitler ever got his hands on a government, he’d use it for control. And Germany gave him a government. Big mistake.
The left hate Americans having guns. Adolf Hitler also hated Americans having guns. When Americans with guns tried to come to his country, he sent an army to stop them. That’s an extremist!
The left love calling everyone Nazis. Know who also constantly called people Nazis? Adolf Hitler. He even called his friends Nazis.
The left are warm-blooded, have hair, and three middle ear bones. Know who that also describes? Adolf Hitler. I guess in this way, the left are actually like all mammals, but it makes them especially like Hitler.
I’m not trying to make a political point here. It’s like when you watch a movie and know you recognize an actor from somewhere and feel so much better when you remember where. Well, the left reminded me of someone and now I figured out who: Adolf Hitler.

I think you’re always going to have tension in the Middle East when there’s people who want to kill the Jews and Jews who don’t want to be killed and neither side is willing to compromise.

Some people disagreed with me, but I used FACTS and REASON to make my conclusion, which means anyone disagreeing with me is against LOGIC. People like that should be SHUNNED from debate. One word for you: BLOCKED!

Some have claimed that Trump is like Hitler. This is RIDICULOUS. Hitler was an artist, and Trump has NO INTEREST IN ART. In fact, he was thrown out of MoMA for YELLING AT THE PAINTINGS. What he was yelling was, “BE LESS BORING!”

I have no interest in “triggering the libs,” but it does appear to be an effective strategy. The right, by being awful, can consistently trick the left into being even worse.

I’ve never given serious thought to abandoning all my principles (what are those even for?) and being part of the grifter right. How much money can you make at that? Does it have to be a full time job, or can I stir thing up part time?

I just don’t get the whole Palestinian thing. The question seems to be “How nice should you be to people who want you dead?” The international community wants Israel to be nicer while most Americans think Israel is plenty nice all things considered.
And there are bigger, much more abusive countries than Israel, so why is Israel more than half of what the UN is always talking about? Well, I guess there’s the obvious reasons.
I guess the answer is either anti-semitism or a huge amount of racism where people consider Israelis the only ones in the Middle East worth holding to any standards.

There’s a new urban fantasy anthology out which includes a story by me, and it’s FREE… plus a dollar.
But, really, a dollar is nothing these days, so that’s pretty much the same as free. A lot of great stories in it, so snatch it up. Don’t be stupid.

“I’m sentencing you to death. And I’m going to execute you the same way I executed that ant that bit me.”

I have basically no expectations for the Solo movie. I just want to see Donald Glover play Lando.

Tax what you want less of, and in Seattle they’re going to be taxing… employing people.
How do people with less economics understanding than a monkey hoarding grapes keep getting in charge of things?