What Did People Use Before Toothbrushes Were Invented?
His | 04/09/2024

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One of the earliest known American-made toothbrushes was produced by the Florence Manufacturing Company of Massachusetts. Known as the “Pro-phy-lac-tic,” the brush looked quite similar in design to many modern toothbrushes, though coarse animal hair was still used for the bristles.

Joe Biden Makes Case for Reelection: ‘Elect Me. I’m in the 20th Century’
Breitbart | 04/10/2024 | WENDELL HUSEBØ

President Joe Biden, 81, made the case on Wednesday for his reelection, arguing he is ready for four more years because “I’m in the 20th century.”

#1. You should work remotely from home… by request of the interns.

#2. You must be inoculated against puns, bathos, sarcasm, and litotes.

#3. Have you watched Blazing Saddles?

#4. No members of the royal family allowed. They smell funny.

#5. Five is right out.

#6. Six-foot distance must be maintained between you and something six or more feet away.

#7. There is no rule #7.

#8. Stop calling Oppo “Apu.”

Feast of the Ascension To Be “Two-Spirit Recognition Day”

Biden Appears to Forget His Own Name
The National Pulse | 04-09-2024 | William Upton

President Joe Biden, 81, appeared to forget his own name during a speech on the economy delivered at Washington, D.C.’s Union Station on Tuesday. “My dad used to say ‘A job… Joey… I give you my word as a tray… ‘” the President began, confusingly stumbling over his words. Abandoning the anecdote, Biden said: “A job is about a lot more than a paycheck. It’s about your dignity. It’s about respect.”

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Biden Shouts Incoherently When Interrupted by Heckler, Claims He’s Cut Deficit by $1 Trillion
Red State | 04/09/2024 | Bob Hoge

President Biden was at it again Tuesday, telling tall tales and shouting gibberish. … he was interrupted by a heckler. 

The president angrily responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what…you wanna come make a speech or shush up, okay?” Then he took a look at the protester and thought better of it because, evidently, the guy looked tough. “I’m not messing around with him!” Biden backtracked, suddenly grinning as if realizing Jill would scold him later for losing his temper. “He looks like he could take me!”

But the next moment was the most bizarre of the speech—he suddenly shouted out what sounded vaguely like “ASKME!” I turned to the White House transcript for help and they’ve translated it as “AFSCME!” According to Google, AFSCME stands for the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees, and I suppose he could have been giving them a shout-out, but it was still a random and startling moment.

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Also from the transcript:

For 36 years, I commuted from the state of Delaware to here every single day the Senate was in session.  And over a millio- — a lo- — a lot of times.  The reason I did is — I think I understand a little bit what many of you have gone through and what you’re trying to help with.

You know, when I got elected, I was 26 — 29 years old.  I wasn’t old enough to be sworn in.  While I was down here hiring staff, before I was sworn in, I got a call saying my wife and daughter were dead and my two boys were badly injured.  And so, you know, I — I wasn’t going to come down, but I had a — thank God, I had a family and a lot of friends and older men- — members like me, 45, 50 — (laughter) — who helped me out.

But all — but all kidding aside, I didn’t have them — I was just — I just had started a law practice.  I didn’t have any money.  I mean, I made a living, but I didn’t have any money.  And what I tried to do is figure out how I was going to raise my boys.

AUDIENCE MEMBERS:  Wooo!

THE PRESIDENT:  No, I’m serious.

I wonder if that sound was really “Wooo!”

Two Groups of Women Brawl in Toledo Restaurant on National Margarita Day
WTVG | 2/26/2024 | Tony Geftos

TOLEDO, Ohio (WTVG) – Drinks, chairs, and fists all flying.

Video from inside El Viejon Mexican Restaurant, located at 1045 S. Reynolds Rd., shows two groups of women erupting into an all-out brawl on National Margarita Day.

“Sometimes people can’t handle more than two margaritas,” said Juan Castro, a server and spokesperson for the restaurant.

It started with an exchange of words that escalated and eventually spilled into the lobby.

You can see some people recording the fight on their phones, others heading for the door. Castro said the fight that happened on Feb. 22 left the establishment trashed.

“It’s not fair. You know, we do our best to serve our community,” explained Castro. “The other thing that happened, the people, when they saw the problem, they started running out without paying their bills.”

“Searching for my haymaker assault”

Our interns are more ladylike.

Much-Touted “General Welfare” Clause in Preamble to Constitution Is Preceded by Little-Noted “More Perfect” Clause

President Waives Usual Age Limits, Fact That There’s No Peacetime Draft

“My son Beau was drafted into the Navy, served in the Engineers as a conductor; I was in the caboose, almost got drafted by the Cowboys. Not hyperbole!” yells hyper bully.