A mongrel people?

Did Barack Obama actually call Blacks “a mongrel people?”

Why, yes. Yes he did.

I grew up in southeast Georgia, where Blacks comprised nearly 40% of the population during the 1960s and 1970s. It’s down to around 30% statewide today. So, unlike most Whites in the home states of Barack Obama and Daniel Inouye (1.6%), Nancy Pelosi (6.1%), Harry Reid (6.4%), or Howard Dean (0.6%), I actually grew up going to school with, playing with, going to church with … Blacks.

I’ve never considered Blacks a mongrel people. Still don’t, despite what the president says.

And I haven’t changed my opinion of Barack Obama, either. He is a jackass.

It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it

Jan loved her job. Sure, no job is perfect, but she really, really liked this one.

Jan ran Division 48 at a large corporation. She had a lot of people that depended on her doing her job right. And not everyone in the division liked how she did her job. But most did. And the Division was doing a lot better than many of the other divisions in the company. Jan was satisfied that she was doing a good job.

That morning, like many mornings, she noticed some strange people on the floor. Like every other morning, Jan had parked in the garage, walked to the employee entrance, swiped her badge, and entered the building. And, again this morning, she noticed that there were people wandering around the building who didn’t have a company badge.

She discovered that, while the door she entered every day was working, not every door to the building worked properly. Not that the doors wouldn’t open or allow people to entered with a badge swipe. No, the problem was that the doors would open without a badge swipe. And people from the company next door would walk into the building at will. And people from other companies could just walk in at will. And people who wandered the street would just walk in at will.

There was a desk at the main company entrance — a public area — where other people could enter the building and wait in line at the security desk. There were also security doors required a badge swipe on each floor of the building adjacent to a public area. Not every division was adjacent to a public area, but many were. Including Jan’s.

Jan sat at her desk, wondering how to handle the situation, as she had done for many days. This morning, though, Jan reached a decision. She opened Outlook and scheduled a meeting.


The meeting went well. Not everyone agreed with the decision. But Jan had decided that someone from her division would be stationed at the security door, checking anyone who wasn’t from the company, ensuring that visitors had a visitor’s pass.

Jan sent the memo around, copying the other 49 divisions, plus corporate headquarters, about the policies that were being implemented at the security door between Division 48 and the public area.

Minutes later, the phone rang. It was Eric. He oversaw the security for the company. And he wasn’t happy.

Jan explained that security was a problem on the floor, and that Corporate Security wasn’t doing its job. Eric said that his group was doing just fine thank you very much. His people had more important things to do than stand by the door outside Division 48.

“Like what?” Jan asked.

“Have you seen how many people are putting plastic in the paper recycle bin?” Eric responded. “It’s a full time job keeping people from mixing paper and plastic. We don’t have time to fix the security doors and man the floors looking for people without badges.”

Jan sighed. “That’s crazy, Eric. We have serious security issues at the company, and if you won’t or can’t do your job, my division will do it where we can.”

“We’ll see about that,” Eric said. And the call ended.


Susan concluded her meeting with Eric and Jan. She told Jan that people in her division could do some of the duties outlined in her memo. But some of the items crossed the line because they fell into Eric’s area of responsibility.

Jan would comply. Susan didn’t run the company, but her ruling would stand for now. Jan would appeal.

She just hoped the company would stay solvent until the security doors and processes were fixed.

Hell in a hand basket. A pretty pink hand basket.

You’ve seen the picture of Jesse Thornhill, haven’t you? You know, the guy that tried to run over his landlord in Tulsa?

Some picked up on this passage from the story:

Tulsa Police say 28-year-old Jesse Thornhill tried to run down his landlord in his ’96 Ford Windstar van Tuesday evening in the 1200 block of South Delaware Place.

Yes, he was driving a 1996 Windstar.

But that, I can understand. You have to make the most with what you have. He had a Windstar and a landlord that needed running over. What else do you do? Run over your landlord with your Windstar, of course. It’s not like he had a fleet of other vehicles. Or, if he did, a Windstar is a better choice than a smart car.

A Windstar has many useful features. He could use it for moving bodies, or several body parts. He could transport several other tattooed freaks to the Dairy Queen or to the nearest altar in the woods. You want to make fun of the Windstar, but there could be legitimate uses for a Windstar.

What I don’t understand, though, is the pink shirt.

Having a single vehicle and that vehicle being a ’96 Windstar is reasonable.

But, seriously? A pink shirt? He didn’t have any other shirt? And why would he have a pink shirt?

Maybe my prejudice is showing. I don’t own a pink shirt. I supported Goldwater in 1964, and no one who supported Goldwater owns a pink shirt. I wasn’t old enough to vote for Goldwater, but still, I wanted those over 21 (18 in Georgia and Kentucky) to vote for Goldwater. And I didn’t own a pink shirt. Then or now.

How can anyone who looks like Jesse Thornhill expect to be taken seriously while wearing a pink shirt? The landlord wasn’t injured. Unless he pulled something while laughing at Jesse’s shirt.

I don’t know what this country is coming to. Sparkly vampires, pink-shirted demons, community organizers in the White House. It’s like Stephanie Meyer is writing the script. And if we don’t get our act together, in the future, people will be reading The Short Second Life of the United States (Obama Saga).

The new iPhone gets fixed by increasing suckage on the old iPhones

That whole iPhone 4 signal issue? They figured out what the problem is. And, yes, there was a problem.

Turns out, though, that the problem isn’t with the iPhone 4. It’s with every iPhone before the iPhone 4.

“What the what?” you say…

Read what Apple now says:

Upon investigation, we were stunned to find that the formula we use to calculate how many bars of signal strength to display is totally wrong. Our formula, in many instances, mistakenly displays 2 more bars than it should for a given signal strength. For example, we sometimes display 4 bars when we should be displaying as few as 2 bars. Users observing a drop of several bars when they grip their iPhone in a certain way are most likely in an area with very weak signal strength, but they don’t know it because we are erroneously displaying 4 or 5 bars. Their big drop in bars is because their high bars were never real in the first place.

To fix this, we are adopting AT&T’s recently recommended formula for calculating how many bars to display for a given signal strength. The real signal strength remains the same, but the iPhone’s bars will report it far more accurately, providing users a much better indication of the reception they will get in a given area. We are also making bars 1, 2 and 3 a bit taller so they will be easier to see.

Steve Jobs first response was “Non issue. Just avoid holding it in that way.” Really. Then, Apple admitted there was an issue.

Now, it’s not an issue again. Not with the iPhone 4, anyway. Just with every iPhone ever sold before the iPhone 4.

Apple is saying that their phones sucked all along. Now, they’re fixing the software on their phones so you can tell just how bad they suck.

Boy, I can’t wait for the iPhone to come to Verizon. Then, I’ll be able to unload my BlackBerry and get a phone that sucks, too.

The president addresses the nation


Good evening. As we speak, our nation faces a multitude of challenges. At home, our top priority is to recover and rebuild from a recession that has touched the lives of nearly every American. Abroad, our brave men and women in uniform are taking the fight to al Qaeda wherever it exists. And tonight, I’ve returned from a trip to the Gulf Coast to speak with you about the battle we’re waging against an oil spill that is assaulting our shores and our citizens.


This oil spill is particularly troublesome to me, because I intend to lead the assault on America. I will not tolerate any actions by any company or any nation assaulting American citizens. That’s what I do.


After the spill began, I assembled a team of our nation’s best scientists and engineers to tackle this challenge — a team led by Dr. Steven Chu, a Nobel Prize-winning physicist and our nation’s Secretary of Energy. And you know how smart and wonderful Nobel Prize winners are. Like Jimmy Carter. Yasser Arafat. Al Gore. Mikhail Gorbachev. Me. Really really smart people. Smartily smart. So, this Chu must be awesomely smart, even though his Nobel Prize was for physics, which is sort of like math or something. Anyway, scientists at our national labs and experts from academia and other oil companies have also provided ideas and advice.


Now, it’ll take a while for this group to come up with a plan, particularly since none of them know anything about oil wells a mile deep under water. So, to give them the time I need, I’ve drafted a letter to the oil spill itself, asking it to stop leaking long enough for our committee to come up with a plan. At least, a plan that doesn’t involve forming more committees. Although that does sound like a good plan in and of itself.


We have yet to hear a response from the oil leak regarding our request for a meeting to discuss its temporary halt of the spill. But, I stand firm in my belief that open and honest discussions are the way to solve all the problems of the world, and this oil spill is not an exception.


But make no mistake: We will fight this spill with everything we’ve got for as long as it takes. We will make BP pay for the damage their company has caused. Even though they won’t really pay; fuel prices will go up, and you’ll pay. But I’ll get credit for making BP pay, and that’s what’s really important.


But you know what else is important? Regulation. We’ve regulated drilling on land and in shallow water so much that deep-water drilling actually seemed like a good idea to the oil companies. So now, we’re going to regulate the hell out of that, too.


Last year, the House of Representatives acted on these principles by passing a strong and comprehensive energy and climate bill — a bill that finally makes clean energy the profitable kind of energy for America’s businesses. If it exists.


Now, there are costs associated with this transition. And there are some who believe that we can’t afford those costs right now. I say we can’t not afford it.


You know what we need? More taxes. If we can raise your taxes enough, you won’t have any money to spend on gas for your cars or heating oil in the winter. That will reduce demand, which will decrease our dependence on foreign oil. Then I won’t have to jet around the world bowing to all those Arabs.


And you thought I didn’t have a plan.


So, to summarize, we’re going to take a sh*t-load of money from BP, causing your fuel prices to go up. Then we’re going to let a bunch of egg-heads sit around and debate while oil continues to leak. Then, we’re going to implement more regulation that will stop any other drilling, causing the loss of many more jobs. And, finally, we’re going to tax the hell out of you.


The oil spill is not the last crisis America will face. After all, my term doesn’t end until 2013. But, with God’s help, we’ll get through this trying time.

Why we blog

FITSNews blogger Will Folks says he’s had an “an inappropriate physical relationship” with South Carolina Republican state representative Nikki Haley. What kicks this story up a notch is that Haley is the favorite in the Republican primary for governor of that state, with an 11-point lead in the latest polls.

Haley has denied the claim.

But … have you seen Haley? She’s another one of those hot Republican babes.

Which leads to my point. I’m going to share the real reason that men become bloggers: Hot Republican Babe Sex.

Yes, it’s true. At least for conservatives. And, some liberals want Hot Republican Babe Sex, too.

You may be wanting to know how all this works. Well, here’s the plan:

  1. Start blog
  2. ?
  3. Hot Republican Babe Sex

I’m still working on that step two. Some people seem to have it figured out, though.

Hope for the future

I’m not worried about the future of this country.

Why not?

Sure, we have a socialist in the White House, Democrats (as socialists in this country are known) wasting our military’s time with stupid questions, ignoring the Constitution, redistributing of your wealth to others, blaming America for everything…

Oh, I could go on and on, but the point is, it’ll be okay?

How do I know?

This picture:

See the little girl in the bottom right?

That’s why I feel okay about the future.

Kids have already figured Obama out.

If only their parents were as smart.

Hurray for failure

I’m trying to understand some polls I read this week:

  • Only 27% of Americans say the U.S. will remain the most powerful nation.
  • 47% of likely voters approve (30% strongly approve + 17% approve) of Obama’s job performance.

I find that interesting. And disturbing.

Look at that again: Only 27% say we’re remain the most powerful nation, while 47% approve of Obama.

If all 27% are part of that 47%, then 20% of Americans recognize and are okay with the weakening of our country.

But, I don’t believe that all 27% are Obama supporters. I suspect most of them think we’ll remain strong despite Obama.

If none of those are Obama supporters, then 47% of Americans recognize and are okay with the weakening of our country.

At least 1/5 — and possibly almost 1/2 — of this country recognizes that Obama is weakening the nation … and are okay with that.

This is why I’m an angry conservative.

When lesbians attack

The ACLU is all excited about the little lesbian girl that wanted to go to the prom (tip: Hot Air).

It’s some bogus logic that some Mississippi court came up with that says the school was wrong. The ruling said the cancellation was a problem because it had the effect of “prohibiting Constance McMillen from bringing her girlfriend as a date and wearing a tuxedo to the event.”

Another instance where “free speech” doesn’t involve speech. And, to me, that’s the problem.

So, what’s the school to do now?

I suggest a compromise: Change the school nickname from “The Indians” to “The Fighting Lesbians”

Everybody wins!

Damage control


Mr. President, we need to schedule another interview.


What do you mean, Rahm? I was just on Fox News.


Honestly, that didn’t go to well. We need another to do damage control.


Yeah, that Brent fellow wouldn’t let me talk. He kept asking questions, and, here’s the worst of it … wanting answers!


His name’s Bret. But, don’t get upset. It’ll be okay. I’m sorry it went bad for you. But, we had to do it, because of Fox’s ratings.


I’ll do another interview. Get me on Larry King or with Chris Matthews. Someone.


Sir, the rating aren’t good for CNN, MSNBC, or, quite honestly, any news channel other than Fox.


Al-Jazeera?


No, we need to shore up your base.


That’s why I suggested al-Jazeera.


I’m afraid that won’t do. But don’t worry, sir, I’ll find an interview show that’s not on Fox, that will have better ratings than CNN or MSNBC.


Great! Who do you have in mind?


Greetings, citizens!

Why Obama doesn’t want the U.S. flag flying in Haiti

So the president doesn’t want U.S. troops flying the U.S. flag in Haiti during relief efforts.

Why? According to a report:

The Obama administration says flying the flag could give Haiti the wrong idea.

“We are not here as an occupation force, but as an international partner committed to supporting the government of Haiti on the road to recovery,” the U.S. government’s Haiti Joint Information Center said in response to a query about the flag.

But, there’s more to it than that. This video explains why:


[Direct link]

Remember when we had a president who was proud of our country and respected the flag? Those were the days.

Related: Hope n’ Change Cartoons

We have too much not-enough-unemployment

The Associated Press is reporting that Friday’s unemployment report will be … bad (tip: Don Surber). But the administration says it’s the weather’s fault. (At least it’s not the climate‘s fault.) The AP calls shenanigans.

The report can’t just be dismissed. Once the snow effect is filtered out, they say the data will still signal weak hiring: Little if any job growth, and an unemployment rate predicted to rise to 9.8 percent or more from 9.7 percent.

While everyone’s getting their panties in a wad over the number of unemployed, they don’t realize that there is an easy way to solve the unemployment problem.

Make more people lose their jobs.

Now, sure, this sounds like a Barack Obama solution. He’s one to address a problem of too much government by having more government.

But, this isn’t the same thing. You see, I’m thinking that we could get more people back to work if a few certain select people joined the ranks of the unemployed. I can think of 257 people that need to lose their jobs, and things will get better.

Wait! I just thought of 59 more!

This will work.

You’re welcome.

Government-mandated health care explained so even a liberal can understand it

George Will explains a problem with government-mandated health care in a way that even a liberal can understand:


[Direct link]

Excerpt transcript:

One question: If the government came to you and said, “Professor Krugman, you have a car. We’re going to compel you to buy a more expensive car, but it’s not really more expensive because it’s a better car.” Wouldn’t you tell them to get off your land?

I wish I had thought of that.