Man Arrested for Brandishing Constitution at Obama Rally
PHOENIX (AP) — A man carrying a copy of the US Constitution was arrested while demonstrating outside President Obama’s speech to veterans on Monday.
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Although Arizona law currently allows citizens to openly carry a Constitution for purposes of self-defense against tyrants and despots, such laws are usurped in the presence of the President.
“A venue is considered a federal site when the Secret Service is protecting the president and federal law applies on a federal site,” said Secret Service spokesman Ed Donovan.
Because the Constitution contains language “limiting” the powers of President – and was also written by slave-owners who considered blacks to be “three-fifths” of a person and not eligible for the office of the Presidency – the document is not protected as “free speech”. Instead, it’s covered under federal hate speech laws if one is brought within 1000 feet of President Obama.
White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said that the incident was being taken “very seriously” and that the FBI was considering further action.
“The US Constitution is a violent and revolutionary document, directly responsible for at least two wars in this nation,” said Gibbs. “Insurrectionist chatter like that may require us to consider charges of treason. We’re currently investigating the possibility, which will take some time, since no one in this administration has ever actually examined the document in question.”
“Free speech is not an absolute,” explained FBI spokesman John Miller. “You can’t yell ‘Fire!’ in a crowded theater. Waving a Constitution around is essentially yelling ‘freedom!’ at a crowded Obama rally. We consider this sort of offensive language a direct threat to civil order in general and the President in particular, and it will not be tolerated.”
(70 votes, average: 4.81 out of 5)
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August 19th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
God forbid that someone is actually exercising their First Amendment rights. Unless you’re a black preacher screaming “GOD DAMN AMERICA”, you’re a filthy racist right-wing astroturfing mob nutter.
August 19th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
I could almost belive this story
August 19th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
It’s almost as if Obama studied Constitutional law in order to figure out What Not To Do.
Bizarro White House!
August 19th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
To us moonbats, the Constitution is dead and irrelevant – like a roadkill squirrel. You’d take offense if somebody put a roadkill squirrel in your face. But then again, you’re all mean and violent so you’d probably punch the squirrel-waving idiot. That’s why your a bunch of racist haters and you better just keep your squirrels and your constitutions away from me. Peace.
August 19th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
The sad part is this is almost a believable scenario under this administration.
August 19th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Everyone knows the first amendment only covers porno and calling Bush a Nazi.
August 19th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
I give this one 4 days to appear on Snopes.
August 19th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Just wait until H. R. 1388 is fully implemented. President Obama will build his private army of thugs to control anyone who opposes his rule. When did the Constitution become a dangerous weapon? Soon we will have 50 Czars accountable only to the President. That is one for each State. Will Governors become obsolete then? When citizens have been deprived of their right to keep and bear arms they will have no defense against Jihad terrorists being trained in at least 35 camps in the USA. Sayõnara, America!
August 19th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
You got me.
Newsish fakery gave it up though.
August 19th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
He would have gotten away with it too since none of the White House Staff recognized the document. Staffers became suspicious, however, when other evil-mongering protesters were seen posing for pictures next to the poster and holding their children up to touch it. One staffer got close enough to hear a protest mobster say to his small daughter, “I haven’t seen this in DC for months. Look close honey, if Obamacare gets in you may not get a chance to see this again in your lifetime.”
August 19th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
OK, that does it. Next town hall meeting? I’m singing “We shall overcome.” In four part harmony. All by myself.
August 19th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Be sure to forward this without attribution to everyone you know!
August 19th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
“Caesar had his Brutus; Charles the First his Cromwell; and George the Third (“Treason!” cried the Speaker) — may profit by their example. If this be treason, make the most of it.”
- Patrick Henry, Speech on the Stamp Act, (May 29, 1765)
If this be treason, count me in!
August 19th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
I’ll do that Harvey.
I’ll say something like, “I don’t know if it’s true, but weird stuff has been happening”.
I always delete all the stuff from previous forwarders, so they’ll think I’m just forwarding something. I’ll find a dead NY Times link (404 or “oops, the page you’re looking for isn’t here….) and throw that in.
Heh.
I say again, Heh.
August 19th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
It’s a good thing that most of Obama’s base can’t read, or they’d be really excited by that story, Harvey.
August 19th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
The world knows when Fred Thompson is on vacation. That’s when Harvey takes control and lets us humble beings live in his world.
August 19th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
You mean this ISN’T TRUE? Oh, Hell, I just sent it to all my friends. HAHA
I know the conservatives will see the humor, and I GUARANTEE several liberal friends will respond with self-rightous commentary!!!
August 19th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Coming to a community near you………..as soon as the Obamites can make it happen. “Yes they can.”
August 19th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
OhBummer went to great lengths in criticzing Ayn Rand’s little book, “The Virtue of Selfishness.” That was a mistake. He called attention to a revolutionary book when he wanted to damage its success in the market. Furthermore, he brought attention to her novels — and OhBummer shows up in several places in her novels, “Anthem,” “The Fountainhead,” “We The Living,” and “Atlas Shrugged.” Can it be that Barack Hushpuppy OhBummer, “The Mistake of ’08,” ain’t too bright, after all?
Yi Ha ***
Minister of Information
Peoples’ Capitalist Republic of Whizbangistan
*** Pronounced “YEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”
August 19th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Where do you keep coming up with these. This is totally believable. That makes me order more bullets
August 19th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Know who else didn’t like the U.S. Constitution? Adolf Hitler.
(There, I said it. Cart me away.)
August 19th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Bravo, Harvey! Well done!
August 19th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
The IMAO homepage is not loading normally for me. I am getting a list of the links for the various threads, but no ads, pictures, or text on the homepage. The individual threads are displaying normally. Anyone else seeing this?
August 20th, 2009 at 12:01 am
[...] rights as americans are null and void IMAO Blog Archive Man Arrested for Brandishing Constitution at Obama Rally __________________ [...]
August 20th, 2009 at 12:04 am
HCG – 11pm CDT – looks normal in both Firefox & IE to me. Could it be a temporary server glitch?
August 20th, 2009 at 12:09 am
I don’t know rather to laugh at how awesome this post is, or to cry because its not really far from the truth under this current administration.
August 20th, 2009 at 6:41 am
It’s also an example of early Op Art. If you focus your eyes just right, you can see a swastika.
August 20th, 2009 at 9:19 am
Having read this article I now have to wonder…. Does this mean that the constitution, or certain embarrassing parts of it are….unconstitutional? Is praying within a thousand yards of the Prez out too? Oh, and Sgt Relic I think that swastika is actually a hammer and sickle. From a distance they do look a lot alike.
August 20th, 2009 at 9:40 am
Sorry to turn pedantic, but if the dems cram down this healthcare crapola, I think we will see a waive of states involking the 10th amendment and individuals with cash involking the ‘right to property’ clause in the 5th amendment.
August 20th, 2009 at 9:54 am
[...] best satire always lures you in with an aura of believability, and IMAO’s Man Arrested for Brandishing Constitution at Obama Rally seems all too plausible. This just cracked me up: Because the Constitution to be “three-fifths” [...]
August 20th, 2009 at 10:31 am
HCG i briefly had the same glitch. thought it was me.
August 20th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Oh, my G-d! Is that a semi-automatic copy of your Constitution? Quick! Someone call CNN!
August 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Re: glitch…
Sounds like the view for the Mobile Version (that’s mobile, as in handheld device, not a city in Alabama, spacemonkey).
The plugin should auto-detect the browser and display it when appropriate. On Safari and Firefox, I see normal theme. On BlackBerry, I see Mobile version.
To confirm, scroll all the way down. Near the bottom, look for a link “Exit the mobile version”
Clicking that sets a cookie.
How did you get to the mobile version? Three possible ways:
1. Did you click a “View Mobile Version” link?
2. Did an admin accidentally set the theme to Carrington Mobile, even briefly? (You wouldn’t know if one did; this is for those with admin access to check memory. It probably didn’t happen, but it’s on the “how did this happen” checklist.)
3. Is your browser set to mimic another browser? If so, it may inadvertantly report as a mobile browser.
How to fix?
The “exit mobile” link I mentioned. Or, clear you cookies, just for IMAO, if possible (Firefox and Safari let pick and choose easily). Clear all cookies (there is a limit over which things act all goofy. Refresh with a cache flush: CTRL-F5 with Windows.
If this helps, great. If not, maybe someone really geeky will chime in.
Regardless, it works for me. And that’s another possible fix: strive to be me.
August 20th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
The problem is that every time I try to be you I end up being Harvey.
You alter-egos mess with my wa.
August 20th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
I swear before I looked at the website I thought it was a legitimate story. It’s scary when your not sure how far this president will go.
August 21st, 2009 at 4:01 pm
[...] Second, brandishing Constitution is very bad: (H/T Imao.us) [...]
August 24th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Funny how you guys have to make this stuff up! Whats even funnier is how many of your retarded lackey readers even for a second considered this to be true. When you can get someone to believe that the president isn’t an American, or that a healthcare bill will kill your grandma, I guess you can get them to believe anything… even this.
August 25th, 2009 at 9:52 am
chaos – I think you’re confusing “funny” with “tragic”. It’s tragic that hate crime laws exist, it’s tragic that the most powerful man in the world pretends to be victimized because of his race, and it’s tragic that liberals frequently conduct witch hunts against those who exercise their constitutional rights.
Without those tragedies, my satire would be neither possible nor necessary.
August 27th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
[...] Second, brandishing Constitution is very bad: (H/T Imao.us) [...]