So there is the possibility of a government shutting down coming up. The Democrats seem to want it because they think it will be politically advantageous, but those guys would support a Nazi invasion of the U.S. if they thought politically advantageous to them. Still, I think maybe the government shutdown would be a good thing. I mean, if we just shut the whole thing down, that’s basically the only way to ensure we don’t spend anymore money. And maybe we can just declare bankruptcy on the federal government and forget all that debt and be done with it.
Anyway, here’s what to expect from a government shutdown:
* All legislators will now have to find real jobs, but there are few places that consider voting yes and no on lots of stuff as qualifying experience — and certainly they won’t be $200,000 a year for that.
* If you were dependent on any sort of welfare from the federal government, you’re probably gonna die. Sorry!
* With no federal government, there won’t be any enforced rules of engagement for troops overseas. In fact, you guys are just basically wandering ronin now. So if you see someone you think needs a killin’, just go ahead and shoot him.
* Obama will end up on the side of the road with a sign saying, “Will make impotent proclamations for food.”
* Federal prisons will shut down and all the prisoners will escape. They’ll probably have an easier time finding gainful employment than the legislators.
* U.S. currency will no longer be supported, so you’ll need to get your money in something that will last the government shutdown such as Facebook credits.
* Without the federal government, each state will now become and independent country. If your state wants to invade Kentucky and steal all its gold, you better be quick about it because I bet a lot of other states have the same idea.
* Without a big federal government to push everyone around, liberals won’t know what to do with themselves and will all die off during the winter. Too bad winter is about over so it will be a while until that happens.
* There will be no federal enforcement of borders, so it will be up to the states now without any outside interference. That means you can finally build that fence to keep Californians out.
* The U.S. Postal service will shutdown, which means you’ll only be able to use Netflix instant streaming as they’ll no longer be able to get you DVDs. If the post office shutting affects you in any other way, then come on; get with this century, people.
* You know that guy who always yells at you when you try to climb the statue of Abraham Lincoln, well he ain’t gonna be there no more so no one is going to stop me!
Some people will then plot on how to get the federal government running again, but I think that’s pretty wrong-headed. Eventually, we should adjust just fine to no federal government and probably be better off in the long run. A federal government seemed like and interesting idea, but it was just unworkable. Well, let’s just dust off those Articles of Confederation and give those a try again.
So who has a truck and can help me steal a T-Rex from the Smithsonian?