Meeting Herman Cain

Wife and I had the opportunity to travel to Atlanta for yesterday’s Herman Cain announcement. We attended the private breakfast beforehand, and had the chance to get close to the candidate.

Well, sort of.

You see, the agenda called for breakfast at 9:15, with Mr. Cain arriving at 9:45.

Only, it didn’t work out that way. He got there early.

I had just finished going through the buffet line and was back at the table when he entered the room. And that caused a sudden shift in everyone’s activities. Including mine.

I glanced to my left, saw his path was going to take him right by me, and decided to place the plate on the table, and let the rush of folks take me over.

The rush of folks came first.

I was jarred, and my plate of food fell. $2,500 worth of sausage biscuit and fruit hit the floor. Okay, I’m exaggerating about the cost. But, this being a campaign event, some people may have paid that much just to attend. So it’s possible, just not factual. Had it been one of them instead of me, then, yes, it would have been $2,500 worth of sausage biscuit and fruit.

But my food did fall. Or the plate did. And the food was on the place. And not all of it stayed on the plate. Some of it bounced off the plate and onto the floor.

So, I’m standing there in the aftermath of a crash of plate, table, chair, and floor, with the person I came to meet just a few feet away. He’s ahead of time, and this is a chance to spend some unscheduled time meeting and chatting with him. And maybe ask some questions.

Only, I’ve got food at and on my feet.

So, I grab some napkins from the table and squat. Meanwhile, there’s a crowd working there way past the table and me, trying to get close to Herman Cain. Legs, knees, hands all participating in the rush, and not in a helpful way, either.

I gather all the parts of biscuit and fruit — the parts of the plate of food that actually left the plate and took up residence on the floor — in napkins as best I could, then stood and placed the ex-breakfast on the table.

Here I am, standing with buttery, sausage-soaked biscuit and bits of melon on my hands. Wife hands me the hand sanitizer, and I start my Mr. Monk impersonation, rubbing the cleaner as fast and as thoroughly as I can.

I have missed my best opportunity to meet the man I came to see. But, not my last opportunity, as it turned out.

After I finally got all the food off the floor and my hands cleaned, I look for a place to dispose of the bits of the inedibles. I start scanning the room. First, straight ahead, to the podium, looking for Herman Cain, hoping to plan a chance to get up close.

The room was still abuzz, but I didn’t see Herman Cain anywhere. Had he made a quick appearance and then departed for some other pre-announcement work before coming back for his scheduled talk?

No, as it turns out, he was at his family’s table, talking with his children and grandchildren. I discovered that when I turned to my right and found myself eye to eye with Herman Cain.

He must have quickly glanced at my name tag — either that or he’s a huge fan of this blog; I’m thinking the former, but telling myself the latter — called me by name, and told me he was glad to seem me as he shook my hand.

I responded in kind, and glanced to the lady on my left. The Wife extended her hand and she and Herman Cain exchanged pleasantries. He introduced Gloria, his wife, and the proper greetings occurred.

He turned his focus to the family at their table, and we turned our focus back to our table.

So, while I did get to meet him, my breakfast malfunction messed up my best chance to actually chat and ask questions.

The sausage biscuit was good, though. The parts that didn’t fall on the floor.

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  1. You’ve been training all these years just so your Kung Fu powers can fail you as such a critical moment? And done in by breakfast food?

    I’ll be on the lookout for him mentioning in a future speech how he met a guy with food-encrusted shoes…


  2. Cain and his wife and family are as “American as Apple Pie.” And if you watched his announcement on TV like I did, you probably noticed that the audience was eating him up. It’s a good thing you didn’t spill your food on him, Basil, because then you would have been cleaning him up!


  3. I think it’s important that we go ahead and address the elephant in the room. From your telling of the events, it is evident that you didn’t choose any bacon from the buffet. You know how disappointed Marko and some of the others will be, as they will be living vicariously through you and will be expecting your bacon critique.

    I express my concern solely on support of the others on this board. Personally, I don’t share the same bacon infatuation, as pizza is the true food of the gods…which makes Herman Cain a perfect candidate for me.


  4. I have to admit that I’m procrastinating on my outside work today because of the shear momentum of Basil’s post (and because I’m just tired, maybe), but, in any case, Son of Bob’s deep (dish) treatment of the culinary side of Mr. Cain as candidate (for lunch?) has me intrigued (and hungry!) while I ponder planting more beans and potatoes in my little slice of Heaven.

    Basil, that was funny, what you wrote. And I’m glad to see that you didn’t include any Rapture points in there as, apparently many of yesterday’s Rapture adherents are “disappointed and befuddled” today on just what went wrong. I hope that doesn’t apply to anyone here, although I think Seanmahair would gladly accept final judgment any time, as would I, preferably in the form a giant meteor hitting me squarely on my head.


  5. Burmashave:
    No, just me being a klutz.

    Now, if I had been at a RON PAUL!!!1!!! event, I’d be the first think conspiracy.

    Okay, not the first. But one of the first. If “one of the first” means “one of everyone there.”


  6. MarkoMancuso:
    Not making excuses, just relating the facts: The event was actually set up Friends of Herman Cain, not by Herman Cain himself. Note the small print on the agenda (see the link to the scanned image). Herman Cain was in Florida two days prior, and, I believe, in Iowa the day before, only flying in to Atlanta the night before. Heck, I’m thinking I got to Atlanta before he did.

    Now, I’m not saying he would have had bacon on the menu, but he is from Georgia. His campaign manager is from Wisconsin. Since Harvey is from up there, perhaps he can explain the bacon omission.

    On the other hand, they did have biscuits, not bagels. Someone did at least part of their homework.


  7. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » Herman Cain answers IMAO reader questions

  8. Basil, if you want to give Herman Cain a Monica, you don’t need to spill food so that you have an excuse to get on your knees. Just get on your knees and say ahhhh like a big boy!


  9. I see the buffet was not handled in the islamic tradition. Stinking infidels! It was not merely your clumbsiness but allah’s judgement on all for the omission of bacon.


  10. Nice try, but no one with half a brain will believe this obvious fabrication!

    A candidate/politician who shows up early at an event?!?! Ha! As if there were such a thing.


  11. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » So, when do the Ron Paul nuts arrive?

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