Straight Line of the Day: Most Notably Absent From the Second Debate…

Posted on October 17, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Most notably absent from the second debate…

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51 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Most Notably Absent From the Second Debate…”

  1. Son of Bob says:

    …Asians. The mainstream media hates Asians. And, they don’t care about their problems.

  2. Mrs. C says:

    a candidate a majority of Americans want to vote FOR not against.

    A moderator who has even a passing knowledge of balance.

    interpretative dance.

  3. TK says:

    the candidates’ stances on favorite pizza toppings.

    a promise to find the truth on 9/11.

  4. Carpenter says:

    Mitt Romney:
    “Mr. Obama, it is true that you were raised by Communists in a Muslim country and your mother left you in the care of a cross dressing Homosexual Transvestite when you were a very small child. Did your upbringing affect your worldview?”

  5. Jimmy says:

    …was a whole lotta people – including me – who watched it.

  6. Son of Bob says:

    …donuts. There were no donuts. There was a whole table of them earlier in the night, then all of a sudden they were gone. Was that powdered sugar on Michelle’s face?

  7. TheHat says:

    … was me. My sleep is more important to me than listening to and being frustrated by a thin skinned narcissistic socialist community organizer.

    … Obamas claim that blacks will riot if he looses. Which he will and they won’t.

    … Obama promising free phones, gasoline and housing to Ohios poor. Oh, wait, he did that already and it hasn’t helped. Never Mind!

  8. Cliff says:

    Big Bird

  9. rodney dill says:

    Joe Biden’s teeth.

  10. rodney dill says:

    the premise that two men enter, one man leaves.

  11. rodney dill says:


  12. Marcopohlo says:


    (And yes, I’m surprised it took this long.)

  13. Marcopohlo says:

    Shakes tiny fist…

  14. Mrs. C says:

    The problem with Rodney Dill’s suggestion is that it would put Candy in the “Ring Girl” bikini, no?

  15. Son of Bob says:

    There was a whole table full of bacon earlier in the night, then suddenly it was gone. Why were Michelle’s hands so greasy?

  16. Jimmy says:

    …the sound of one hand clapping.

  17. hadsil says:

    . . . Animal Planet with its own panel of undecided dogs to comment.

  18. tomg51 says:

    Useful props, such as an assault weapon, one trillion dollars, a terrorist, an illegal alien (or was there?), etc.

  19. tomg51 says:

    …was the second half when they have to switch sides and argue for their opponent’s positions.

  20. rodney dill says:

    was the fake sumo wrestling contest.

  21. rodney dill says:

    …was the line, “it ain’t over ’til the fat lady stings.”

  22. HokieGomer says:

    @ tomg51

    That would have been impressive. Have a line of forklifts parade through the debate hall with pallets of money. Might have gotten to $100 billion by time the debate was over.

  23. Fangbeer says:

    A gutsy call to drone airstrike Obama’s new enemy #1: Mitt Romney’s binder of women.

    Obama’s blackberry of women.

  24. HokieGomer says:

    …was the 53%.

  25. Steve H says:

    Dogs on the green room lunch cart.

  26. Tin Man says:

    was whether it’s better to wok your dog or let him ride on top of the car.

  27. Bob says:

    …was an appearance by the last two living examples of the critically endangered Long Island Conservatives, rumored to be on loan to debate organizers to provide a balanced audience.

  28. Writer says:

    …was where in the world the Obama administration came up with the idea the Benghazi attack was in retalliation for a video that no one had even watched.

  29. FormerHostage says:

    …hooker boots on Candy.

  30. FormerHostage says:

    …any reference to “Strangers with Candy”

  31. FormerHostage says:

    …a plan from Obama.

  32. FormerHostage says:

    …free contraceptives for all women in the audience.

  33. hadsil says:

    . . . President Chair with a leg to stand on.

    . . . Porky Pig to say “bdibdibdibdibdibdi That’s all folks!”.

  34. archangel says:

    a tv audience.

    intelligent questions.

    undecided voters.

    17 gwb references. there were only 16.

    candy’s plastic surgeon.

    candy’s erroneous statement : “black is thinning”.

    candy’s muzzle.

  35. Ironic Stompin' says:

    … impartiality on the part of the moderator.

  36. Ashmadia says:

    was a moderator who even pretended to be unbiased.

  37. CTCompromise says:

    Most notably absent from the second debate…was an incumbent who had a realistic plan to solve the problems of this country.

  38. CTCompromise says:

    Most notably absent from the second debate…were any questions from the audience not printed on White House index cards.

  39. Critter says:

    Candy’s stripper pole.

  40. Fly says:

    … was mentioning that if just one person in the audience was carrying a gun, mass murder could have been averted.

    … was asking the kid if he was studying something stupid at Hofstra that has no value in the real world before asserting that education is important.

    I’m sorry, am I supposed to give the straight line or are you?

  41. SineWaveII says:

    ….a moderator.

  42. g says:

    … was a DNA test to determine who the real father is.
    … the throwing of chairs
    … big burly security guards to separate the participants

  43. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . was instant replay, with commentary by John Madden

  44. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …was the phrase “Lllllllllllllllllleeeeeeet’s get ready to RUMBLE!!!!!!”

  45. rodney dill says:

    @Mrs C.
    “Carnac the Magnificent says, ‘Two rubber bands around an egg.”
    “…and the question is, “What would a bikini look like on Candy?”

  46. seanmahair says:

    …….Obama’s plan for his second term, any plan, any plan at all.

  47. Doug says:

    … was the popcorn!

    dueling pistols.

    any sign whatsoever of a fair and honest debate.

    the barking dog.

  48. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … was a moderator.

  49. Eric says:

    If you were gonna say a bear riding a unicycle, watch it again…

  50. Despiser25 says:

    Ketchup with that Meatloaf?

  51. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Most notably absent from the second debate…” […]

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