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Wisdom of the Day: Bust Brains Valet Scotland Breath DeVitos Paint Death

Friday, September 19, 2014 5:00 pm

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Spanking vs. Abuse

Friday, September 19, 2014 11:00 am

In his new video, Steven Crowder looks at spanking versus actual abuse:

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Random Thoughts: Ground Troops, Scotland, and Apple

Friday, September 19, 2014 9:21 am

Make sure to read my short story on the truth behind science. It will make you a better person.

It won’t make you a better person. Because you’re great as is.

I’m against sending ground troops into Iraq. Space troops, though, would be awesome.

Remember when President Obama got a Nobel Peace Prize just for existing and some people thought that wasn’t mockable?

So basically, if Scotland secedes, the whole world collapses into anarchy?

I called up Apple and said I forgot my pin code and needed them to retrieve my user data, and they replied, “Nice try, pig!”

“What’s the deal with these serial killings?” -Jerry Seinfeld, homicide detective

A picture is worth a thousand words, but an emoji is worth -3.

So do a lot of people really not like the episode “Fly” from Breaking Bad? Just rewatched it, and it’s a great episode.

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Wisdom of the Day: ISIS Squirrels Liquor Scotland

Thursday, September 18, 2014 5:00 pm

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Random Thoughts: iOS 8, Shakespeare, and GamerGate

Thursday, September 18, 2014 9:13 am

Tip for the Left: Spend time attacking Biden, Reid for racism. Then when you attack right, we might actually believe it’s not just partisan.

The reason the iOS 8 download is so big is that it includes all of U2’s albums.

I had never heard of Shakespeare before I read about this Biden quote controversy.

Actually, I think I was forced to read some Shakespeare in high school. All I remember from it was this constant whining about “phonies.”

Is there anyway to hand out the MacArthur Genius Grant without it sounding sarcastic? “Here you go, genius.”

I want to see that new FOX cooking show “Got Ham.” It’s supposed to have Batman in it for some reason.

My favorite scene in Shakespeare is that speech directed at Lady Macbeth about “I am the one who knocks!”

This has to be the most anyone has talked about Scotland since England executed Mel Gibson.

I don’t think this #GamerGate thing is going to go away unless there is some bombshell like a release date on Half Life 3.

Have to feel bad for gaming journalist who just want to write whiny social commentary but are stuck doing 50 posts a day about Destiny.

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Wisdom of the Day: Harry Tyson Academy Dog

Wednesday, September 17, 2014 5:00 pm

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Random Thoughts: Equal Pay, Hillary, and Neil deGrasse Tyson

Wednesday, September 17, 2014 9:05 am

A gullible woman earns 77 cents on the dollar compared to a man who is more skeptical of statistics he read.

Maybe now that Microsoft has bought Minecraft, they can improve its graphics. The game looks like it’s from the late 90s.

If I were president, I wouldn’t let the U.S. be the world’s policeman anymore. Instead, we’d be the world’s Batman.

Maybe the world’s Punisher.

I keep seeing everyone talk about updog. What is it?

To get with the times, the next Duke Nukem game will have the title character go to sensitivity training. It should come out 20 yrs from now.

Hillary has to be careful to not let the fact that she’s not particularly good at anything distract from how she’s a woman.

Can I use a 3D printer to print pieces of paper which I then use in my regular printer?

Who cares about a few quotes Neil deGrasse Tyson made up? It’s not like accuracy is important in science.

Neil deGrasse Tyson is a big hypocrite. He talks about science and rationality, but he spends his evenings setting up leprechaun traps.

“Once this guy said to me, ‘Duh. I don’t know science.’ That guy sure didn’t know science. True story.” -Neil deGrasse Tyson

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Wisdom of the Day: Football Grandpa Baby Nerd Bank Sweatshirt Hit Ninja

Tuesday, September 16, 2014 5:00 pm

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The Truth Behind Science

Tuesday, September 16, 2014 11:00 am

I have a new short story up at Liberty Island called “Science Fiction” about the insidious truth behind science.

It kinda seems like I’m trying to make a point in the story, but I honestly can’t tell you what it is. Anyway: Read. Share. Enjoy.

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Random Thoughts: Scotland, Minecraft, and Hillary

Tuesday, September 16, 2014 9:17 am

On Scottish independence, I’m on the side of having less countries. There’s like 200 of them most of them are pointless.

How many European countries do we actually need? I think 5 different countries at most would cover whole spectrum of Europeans.

Like do we need both a Belgium and a France? No. We need to be consolidating similar countries instead of making new ones.

Wow. Stupid Microsoft. I paid only $13 for Minecraft because I bought it back when it was in alpha.

“It looks like you’re trying to mine obsidian. Would you like some help?” #MicroCraft

So exactly how rich is Notch now? Does he basically own Sweden?

At this point, isn’t Hillary Clinton basically the Yankees of politicians?

If ever read President Obama’s al Qaeda fan fiction, it’s actually very good with lots of well developed characters.

“Thank you, Mario! But our princess is in another castle! Maybe you can use this time to reflect on this misogynistic quest structure.”

Guide to Understanding the West: If we make obvious effort to not be racist against your culture, that means we think it’s pretty pathetic.

Science will never return your love.

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Where Is Moderate Islam?

Monday, September 15, 2014 11:00 am

New Crowder video where he explores exactly what is moderate Islam compared to ISIS:

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Random Thoughts: Obama’s Plans, Peace, and Drunken Brawls

Monday, September 15, 2014 9:08 am

Main things ruining all of President Obama’s plans:
1. Individual liberty
2. The Constitution
3. Biden getting chocolate on everything

It was nice how Peter raised Tabitha from the dead, but couldn’t he have also gotten people to stop calling her “Dorcas.”

When the U.S. tries giving peace a chance, we get really restless within a couple weeks.

It’s cute when little kids say they want to be president one day and then draw out Iraq invasion plans in crayon.

I once was in a drunken brawl with Sarah Palin, but I didn’t mention it because she beat me up pretty bad.

Called me a “moose sympathizer” and suddenly she was this hurricane of fists and elbows.

I didn’t mention it because I was kinda embarrassed and I just thought it was a common occurrence when visiting Alaska.

Playing “Mark of the Ninja.” I was hoping the protagonist in it would be named Mark so the title would have a double meaning.

If you’re acting like it’s weird Sarah Palin suplexed a guy into a table, then you obviously haven’t been in very many drunken brawls.

“I should have said, ‘The jerk store called; they’re running out of you!'” I uttered hours later when I awoke in the burn ward.

Actually, I think if you made a gun’s trigger out of a strand of hair, it would be pretty much impossible to fire.

This gas pump needs to update its drawing of a cellphone. Whoops; took the picture with my cellphone.

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Wisdom of the Day: iPhone Brave Gang Vegan Phone

Friday, September 12, 2014 5:00 pm

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Random Thoughts: ISIS, War, and RE4

Friday, September 12, 2014 9:21 am

“I want to assure you that the organization called ‘Islamic State Made By Islamic People Who Are Really Islamic’ is not Islamic.”

Here’s an idea: We donate to ISIS a bunch of planes to make it easier to kill them from the air.

Does every time our country shoot and bomb people, we have to put a label on it? #NotAWar

A newspaper needs to put out an all caps headline: “WARISHNESS!”

Now every time I have to pull my iPhone out of my pocket, I think of how much simpler life would be with an Apple Watch.

Hmm. Resident Evil 4 is on sale on Steam. Should I buy it for a 3rd time?

I am so itching to play it again. It’s definitely one of my top 5 games of all time.

That’s what makes the sequels so frustrating. It’s like RE4 was a weird accident and Capcom has no idea how to reproduce it.

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Random Thoughts: Class War, Iraq, and What’s Islamic

Thursday, September 11, 2014 9:16 am

The Apple Watch doesn’t have a camera so it can’t watch anything and thus the name makes no sense.

Some of the new iPhone 6 features seem neat, but I like the size of my 5S.

If we had a class war, I think the rich would win because they could afford lasers cannons against which the poor have no defense.

Hopefully President Obama can use our military might to intimidate our enemies, as a tank is still scary even if a puppy is driving it.

One the single hardest things to do as president is to not have a war in Iraq.

Who’s the central authority on what is and isn’t Islamic?

Really, I think arguing what is and isn’t Islamic is kinda pointless from a non-Muslim.

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Wisdom of the Day: Hulk Date Buy Life Doctors Product White Fedora Husbands Interaction

Wednesday, September 10, 2014 5:00 pm

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Random Thoughts: Apple Watch

Wednesday, September 10, 2014 9:12 am

Maybe the iPhone 6 will be rotary. I miss rotary phones.

Now they just introduced the iDuct Tape which makes the iPhone wearable.

Apple could probably get away with just slapping an Apple logo on what Samsung came out with last year and no one paid attention to.

Tim Cook just announced that they’ve teamed up with the Obama administration to make the new Apple Watch mandatory.

When will they answer the main question on everyone’s mind: Will it have a Dick Tracy app?

I have to wait until next year? I guess I’ll set an alert on my Apple Watch to tell me when… oh.

Tim Cook: “Apple products preform 27% better than a dog in continuing to love you when no one else will.”

Eh. I think I’ll let you guys beta test these things and get gen 2.

Is it worth $350 to not have to pull my phone out of my pocket to see who just texted me?

So no mention of battery life?
“What time is it, Apple Watch?”
“Time to charge me!”

For the socially conscious, your fancy new Apple Watch will occasionally give you a text alert to care about poor people.

Oh, the Apple Watch doesn’t have a battery. You have to keep it plugged in all the time.

If you can handle me at my peak, you don’t deserve me at my normal traffic levels.

I like playing indie video games. It makes me feel cultured.

There’s a strong correlation between the decline in popularity of Mr. T and the rise in jibber jabber.

Was thinking I’d pass on Apple Watch, but checking out on http://Apple.com , it’s actually pretty nifty looking.

I think it looks stupid with the sports bands, but the other options are pretty. Wondering about cost, though.

And I like that they actually focused on it keeping good, accurate time. Not like the iPhone not being a good phone.

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Wisdom of the Day: Ravens Rice Kennedy Laugh Room Foal Train Baby

Tuesday, September 9, 2014 5:00 pm

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Crowder Returns

Tuesday, September 9, 2014 11:00 am

Crowder returns later this week.

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Random Thoughts: Bigots, Apple, and the NFL

Tuesday, September 9, 2014 9:13 am

Most of the justification for bigotry these days is claiming the group you’re bigoted against is bigoted.

It’s exciting when an Apple event isn’t just an upgrade for a current device but a new device we’ll eventually have to upgrade.

Is it sexist to be extra outraged by a man punching a woman? Whatever; I’m probably sexist.

I’ve never really been into “music.” Can someone please explain the appeal?

I’m a caring individual. I’ve always been caring. Some say I care too much. And that’s why I’m not waving my hands in the air.

So I have a few more hours to enjoy my iPhone 5S before I hate it for being a stupid, outdated piece of garbage.

Before video came out of Ray Rice punching his fiancé, did the NFL think it was some wacky, sitcom-type mishap that rendered her unconscious?

Sports are good and all, but every kid in this country should have much higher ambitions than handling a ball really well.

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