Random Thoughts: Elizabeth Warren and Rogue One

A Senator can’t impugn the character of another Senator? So no rap battles?

I didn’t know you could right-click on a Chrome tab to mute it. This changes EVERYTHING!
What I need next is a way to search my tabs when I have a hundred tabs open.

New rule: You’re only allowed to get outraged by three things Trump does per day. It’s smart to wait until the end of the day to pick.

Senators can’t say bad things about each other because of the rule about insults and can’t say nice things because of the rule about lying.

I’m very torn on this Elizabeth Warren thing because I like it both when:
1) Politicians are insulted
2) Politicians are shut upped

Accusations against Sessions no chance of gaining attention. “Democrats accuse Republican of racism” is a setting on white noise machines.

“So did politics get any smarter today?”
sees rich, privileged partisan hack propped up as feminist hero
“No, continues the other way.”

Much of politics is elevating mediocrity to sainthood. But mediocrity is all you have to work with among elected officials.

For Valentines Day, we finally saw Rogue One. Because that’s the kind of romantic I am.

Rallying behind Elizabeth Warren is just as dumb as rallying behind Trump. The solution to Trump isn’t new stupidity.
Though lionizing rich, mediocre people as champions is kind of an old stupidity in politics.

Trump controls the people who hate him even more than his supporters.

Can’t believe Trump appointed an Attorney General who didn’t first serve as an Attorney Colonel.

Twitter needs a permanent “What Trump just said” at the top so you can understand what everyone is all riled up about.

When you put the government in charge of something, remember that every so often the government will be run by people you despise.

Lucky I got my wife a Tile for her car keys. She somehow got them in the bottom of the kitchen trash.

Elizabeth Warren is most obvious phony on the left since John Edwards, but let’s rally behind her lies about being Cherokee to defeat Trump!

The problem with all the focus on Trump he is not the core of what’s wrong with politics and government.
When Trump is gone, things will not get magically better. On current trajectory, it might get worse.

We’re in for a 4 year long competition between Trump’s biggest supporters and Trump’s biggest detractors for who can be the absolute worst.
The president will be competing as well.

Most of politics is explaining why your hate is justified unlike everyone else’s.

People are still singing and making music? I thought that fad was over.

Is it now the official policy of the Democratic Party that there is no difference between legal and illegal immigration?

What’s Twitter like when you mute all mentions of Trump? Peaceful like a meadow, or spooky like a ghost town?

“They’re firing people who have Russian ties!”
checks necktie
sees it was made in China
breathes sigh of relief

Finally saw Rogue One. It was Star War-riffic!
They can quote me on that on the front of the DVD release.

So I spent Valentine’s Day debating with my wife whether Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor had a romantic interest in each other. I thought they were just close in the end as Comrades in war.

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts: Anti-Fascists and DeVos

This is the biggest Constitutional crisis since Joe Biden went to the National Archive and got ketchup on it.

Did they at least give Merrick Garland “Supreme Court: The Home Game”?

Remember that Twilight Zone episode where a guy went on Twitter one morning and no one was freaking out about anything political? Creepy.

Despite liking his Supreme Court nominee, #NeverTrump will continue not to vote for Trump over the next few years.

Some good questions for a Supreme Court nominee:
“Have you read the Constitution?”
“What’s it say?”
“Am I mentioned in it?”

Feels like it’s been hours since Trump last said something newsworthy.

Remember when Trump was elected president? That was weird.

What if partisanship got so bad that Congress constantly broke out in fistfights? That would be awesome.

Why do we still have a government? It’s stupid and annoying. Get rid of it. If we have any big problems, I’m sure Google will do something about it.

How do you tell the good fascism from the bad fascism?

When you really disagree with someone, you use violence. That’s called a war. They make the best documentaries on The History Channel.

Fight fire with fire. Fight fascism with fascism. And also fire.

The best way to deal with provocateurs is to get all provoked. I learned that in college.

Not so much anti-fascists as a competing team.

One of the best defenses to fascism is to wear a hat. Cold ears are extra susceptible to fascism.

Punch a fascist if you see one. They are easy to identify as they are large and hairy, live in caves, and hibernate during the winter.

Well, that was weird. What’s it mean when the groundhog gets in a rocket ship and leaves the planet?

If you think you see fascism, blow into the whistle and wait for someone responsible to come handle it.

I’m glad we got the “resist” movement. It’s good to see people yell a lot about people they disagree with. This is a big change.

The optimism of youth: If you asked me as a kid what our main problems would be in 2017, I would have guessed “space pirates.”

“Frederick Douglass, great guy. Did a lot of cool things. If you’re here, Freddie, stand up. Are you here? I don’t think he’s here.”

“So which do you want: right-wing fascism or left-wing fascism?”
“But I don’t like fascism.”
“PICK ONE OR I’LL HURT YOU!”

“Trump is horrible. I can’t imagine anyone worse!”
looks at American left encouraging violence
“Oh yeah.”

The most import thing you’ll need in resisting fascism is an over-inflated sense of self-importance.

I guess if the left want to do an armed uprising against Trump they can ask the right if they can borrow some of their guns.

Don’t worry; the angry people using violence against those they disagree with are really really sure their views are the right ones.

I stopped following Donald Trump on Twitter because he got too political.

The protesters are getting violent because they’re afraid things are getting like 1984 when they’d rather emulate Animal Farm.

Don’t worry; the violent mob will use rigorous standards in determining who is and who isn’t a Nazi.

Most of politics now is just a fight over which large group of people get written off and their concerns ignored.

The best defenses against fascism are eternal vigilance and giant robots with guns for arms.

I’m tired of seeing so many fascists on Twitter with their mealy-mouthed defenses of political violence. Wait, those are the anti-fascists.

My 3yo never gets my In Living Color references.

New game coming out called “Constitutional Crysis” where you use your nanosuit to battle bureaucrats.

One of the clowns hit another clown in the face with a cream pie. This could cause the public to lose respect for the clown show.

“I can’t believe you called our ‘Muslim Ban for the Purpose of Banning Muslims’ a ban on Muslims.”

I thought Powerless was cute. Most clever thing in it, though, was the opening sequence.

I’ll never forget the sad look on Al Gore’s face when we banished him to the moon for his failure.
He settled on the dark side. We can’t see what he’s up to. I bet he’s plotting something.

It’s good to know we’re winning the fight against climate stasis.

I’m pretty busy, so I’m going ahead and pre-condemning whatever Trump says today.

Some of the SNL Spicer skit was funny. A lot of it was lazy “briefly reference things you may have heard of.” Whole DeVos segment was that.
Really liked “I want to apologize… on behalf… of you… to me. Apology not accepted!”

VILLAIN FROM PRETTY MUCH EVERY MOVIE: “You see; we’re not so different, you and I.”
TRUMP: “You make a good point.”

The Atlanta Falcons are going to go hike in the woods with Hillary.

Just because an internet troll controls the world’s largest nuclear arsenal doesn’t mean you should pay him the attention he craves.

So is he Putin’s puppet or Bannon’s puppet? Or is Putin working for Bannon?

I think I figured it out. Trump is a figment of the left’s imagination and a dark reflection of their own id.
No, wait. That doesn’t work. We’ve seen Trump interact with other characters. Unless this is a Tyler Durden thing.
The press is definitely an unreliable narrator.

Either this country is near the brink of destruction or we’ve gotten a lot lot whinier. Eh, could be both.

The snowspeeder is by far the best vehicle from Star Wars. Don’t AT-AT me.

For how much longer are we going to pretend the education secretary is really important?

So is President Trump going to do something about Nintendo constantly not meeting hardware demands or is he just useless?
“Make America Great Again” my ass. I want an NES Classic!

The focus of our education system is the transfer of tax dollars between politicians and unions. Educating children is its waste product.

Everyone has been freaking out about it, but show me a better way to handle underperforming teachers than Betty DeVos’s torture dungeons.

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts: Immigration and Gorsuch

Trump is controlling the messaging of Twitter accounts under his control? This is… what’s the opposite of unprecedented?

Good you’re critical of the power Trump wields, but if you’re not going to be just as critical with the next Obama, you’re less than useless.

So what accomplished more? The inauguration boycott or the Women’s March?

Feds show up in Chicago. One man in a black suit pulls out a bullhorn
“Come on, guys! Stop shooting each other!”

It’s good to be angry at Trump. But try harder to be angry at the right things instead of any stupid partisan thing.

Good to know. There’s an unstated limit to how many voicemails your iPhone can hold and there’s no notification when that limit is reached.

You can say lots of negative (and true) things about the wall, but “violates civil liberties”? Why is Trump’s opposition so dumb?

Mexico may try to knock down our wall. When we build it, we shouldn’t tell them where it is.

Didn’t like 1984 as much as Animal Farm. There were a few parts of 1984 I found a little silly.

When you refuse to distinguish between legal and illegal immigration, you harm the cause and make yourself look like a weasel.
Making no distinction between legal and illegal immigration is implicitly arguing for open borders. If you want that explicitly argue for it.

We haven’t even finished the first week. I don’t know how we’re going to last the first one hundred days at this pace.

“Diet Dr. Pepper tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper! We should all try it!” -Donald Trump tweet during commercial break on FOX News

Watching old He-Man with kids and just realized how bizarre it is that no one can recognize He-Man if he’s wearing a shirt.
“Adam, ever noticed how you’re same size as He-Man, and have same face, hair, and voice? Can’t imagine He-Man with a pink vest, though.”
What if Prince Adam goes swimming at the palace? What happens then?
And doesn’t the cartoon lose its whole point now that there’s no toys to buy?

When I was a kid, Santa got me Castle Grayskull. It was pretty awesome.
My parents told me they weren’t sure if Santa would have enough material to make Castle Grayskulls, but they were wrong. Stupid parents.

If you want modern people to support Nazi-like behavior, convince them who you’re doing it against are Nazis.

How are we going to deport illegal immigrants if there’s a big wall in the way? No one is thinking this through.

Democrats, you have four years to find one of your own who is not stupid and horrible. I don’t have any suggestions yet.

Pretending the Doomsday Clock has any significance whatsoever is anti-science.

This rally around the parks service is idiotic. Of all things to get worked up over, controlling the messaging of a govt agency is not one.

I’m getting worried because the opposition to Trump continues to be so so stupid.
Of course, we’ve been going at him for over a year and no one knows his weakness yet. Still, people are doubling down on old failed things.

Man, I miss the carefree 80s when all we had to worry about was getting nuked by the Soviets or snatched by the monster from the Upside Down.

It can be clunky at times, but C++ is my favorite language for its combination of object oriented programming and low-level memory access.
It never quite feels like real programming without pointers.
But, man, I instantly miss modern languages any time I have to deal with strings.

I try to avoid scripting languages. I know people love them, but they always feeling like playing in the kiddie pool to me.
And I avoid dealing with JavaScript as much as I can. It’s a big stupid garbage fire.
And I hope every programmer learns a little assembly. It’s what every language is at the end of the day, and it’s important to understand.

Resist? When did you sist in the first place?

If I have a vote, I’m not for making the stuff I buy more expensive to pay for a wall I don’t care about.

What makes stopping illegal immigration hard is same thing that fails most left-wing policies: You’re directly fighting against economics.

“Those Russian mobsters killed my cat!”
shrugs. goes back to bed
-John Wick 2

Why can’t the two sides just be called “anti-abortion” and “pro-abortion”? Seems like it would make things clearer.

FDR is often considered one of the great presidents, but shouldn’t the internment of the Japanese by itself be enough to disqualify him?

I think we should help refugees. We’re a big country and we have nothing to fear since we all have guns.

Unbreakable is my favorite M. Night Shyamalan movie, though I also love the spinoff Unbreakable: Kimmy Schmidt.

Do you chug a Mountain Dew before doing Extreme Vetting?

  1. Trump does something legitimately bad.
  2. There is an overblown, fact-free partisan freak out about it.
    Repeat next 4-8 years.

If I were president, I’d wear pajamas in the Oval Office. That’s one of the advantages of working from home.

All my kids’ outside play involves pretending to play different video games.

Sounds like Trump’s executive orders need some extreme vetting.

I don’t know how we keep this all up for 207 more weeks of the Trump presidency (minimum).

Weird seeing the president tweet negatively about “bad dudes” when in the 80s they were his last line of defense.
Him and the bad dudes should go out and get a burger.

I may not agree with President Trump, but if he were kidnapped by ninjas, I would punch my way to rescuing him.

No problems with Windows 10, but it’s like Windows 8 was specifically designed to be confusing to both new and experienced users.

It looks like the Trump presidency will be him picking lots of dumb fights. Well, it worked for him as a candidate.

Trump’s opponents have a pretty good grasp on how unappealing Trump is, but they keep underestimating how unappealing they are.

I don’t know how you pronounce “Gorsuch,” but anytime I see it I keep thinking of that thing Goofy exclaims.

People are not pacing their freak outs. This can’t last.

Just saw that Billy Dee Williams will be voicing Harvey Dent/Two-Face in the Lego Batman Movie. That’s awesome.

My only concern for a Secretary of Education is that she’s ready to lead the survivors if Cylons attack our home world.

I always tense up when armed men in ski masks enter a bank because I don’t want to hear the tale of how they got bronze in the biathlon.

What’s best way to get my “Nuke the Moon” proposal to President Trump? Should I wrap a bacon cheeseburger in it and give it to Bannon?

We’re a week and a half into the new administration and I’m still writing “President Obama” on all my checks and balances.

The only way to end a filibuster is to wrest control of the Talking Stick and throw it into the Capitol’s furnace.

I don’t know if the controversial DeVos is going to be as popular an Education Secretary as whosit under Obama and whatshisface from Bush.

The Supreme Court is dumb.

A lot of people drop out of the SCOTUS race when they find out they have to read the Constitution which is really boring and 6 pages long.
And there’s no bullet point lists or colorful charts to break up the text. Really amateurish writing.
Constitution a bit like a software license agreement in that no one has actually read it. All the Founders scrolled to bottom and hit Agree.

Gorsuch is extreme and dangerous. He once did a kick flip over a highway.

If Gorsuch gets on the court, he will end women’s rights. If women want rights, they’ll need to buy a fake mustache which can cost $7 and up.

The court needs to fill that vacancy before they render their important verdict on whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie.

Ask if Gorsuch likes the Constitution. Didnt come out until after confirmation that RGB said, “If the Constitution had a face, I would punch it.”

I think it worked. Everyone has already forgotten the last thing they outraged over about Trump.
Oh yeah. He punched a baby.

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts: The Era of President Trump

Whatever faults I have in educating my children, they’re very clear on the fact that Zelda is the girl.

I might trust politicians in educating our kids if there was a law saying their kids had to go to a public school in the bottom ten percent.

Your idiotic, petty little views on the public school system don’t supersede other people’s choices for their own children.

The American left’s views on political violence is a lot more nuanced than I’m comfortable with.

The problem was never Trump’s awfulness but all the other awfulness of other people that keeps getting ignored.
Well, now that the awfulness of others made Trump president, his awfulness is more of an issue.

I hope there’s an asterisk in the history book next to Trump’s name noting that not a lot of celebrities went to his inauguration.

I’m a moderate in that I don’t think Trump is exceptionally worse than the opposition.

Aggressively mediocre. That would be my two word summary of the Obama presidency.
His mediocrity was highlighted by all the pretense of him being something special – not just the inexperienced Chicago politician he was.
His presidency was silly, no matter how much it scrunched its face and tried to look serious.
When people look back years from now, his presidency will look like a logical transition to Trump, one silliness evolving into the other.
In the end, though, Barack Obama did do exactly what he was elected to do: Be the first black president. So he was not a failure.
He will always be an integral part of America’s journey on race, which looks like it will have many more bumps ahead.
And who knows; maybe soon we’ll yearn for mediocrity.
Good bye, President Obama. Thanks for trying. I wish you and your beautiful family the best of luck and hope you enjoy civilian life.

I get this idea from the Women’s March that they’re mad about something, but none of them will tell me what.

The core of socialism is coming up with excuses to use violence against non-violence.

We should have the government round up into camps anyone it suspects of being fascist.

The only thing dumber than FOX News is blaming all political problems on FOX News.

More to worry about when Obama became president because more were enthralled with him. If you want to be dictator, that’s what you need.

If Harambe were still here, he’d support a peaceful transition of power because he was a peaceful animal.

Thought the protectionist part of Trump’s inauguration speech was stupid, but I liked how he was basically telling everyone around him they were awful.
“You, the Republicans and Democrats in DC, are bad and everyone hates you.” When he’s right, he’s right.

My prediction: We’re going to have a booming economy because we’re due for one (nothing to do with Trump). He’ll probably be reelected.

char, tchar, wchar… I just want to parse a stupid string!

Considering how strange things are now, maybe the next season of Stranger Things will just have to be called Different Things.

I know we have a rule of law, but it’s hard to get worked up when either a Commie or a Nazi gets punched.

When you use violence against people you disagree with, I don’t think that’s a protest. I think that’s a war.

Stop saying Obama didn’t have a scandal. You are a boot licker. And that’s exactly what we don’t need right now.
Obama did questionable things you should have cared more about. And now we’re going to be reaping more problems because you didn’t.

President Obama had more people at his inauguration because more were excited about him. Which means people were dumber about him.

Did the boycott of the inauguration work?

All of Trump’s executive orders and calls for drone strikes should note he didn’t have as many people as Obama at his inauguration.

I’m bracing for the Women’s March to be incoherent and pointless, but it’s a one day things and won’t go on for months like Occupy.

Phase 1: Protest
Phase 2: ??
Phase 3: Everything is good now

I think the popularity of protests as an agent of change is a big confusion of causation/correlation.

On the Trump presidency, I’m cautiously neutral.

whispering
so what are they trying to accomplish with the Women’s March?

The left aren’t going to be an effective opposition to Trump as long as the thing their offended most about him is that he’s a Republican.

The supposition is there’s some point to the march other than “Democrats don’t like Republicans” but haven’t heard it coherently expressed.

The crowd size thing is pointless… unless you have a fragile ego.

The Good Place finale was great. It’s the most serial sitcom I’ve seen – really interesting continuing story.

Maybe Jill Stein should raise money to do a crowd recount.

From these first few days, it looks like it’s going to be a petulant president covered by a petulant press stirring up a petulant opposition.
They should really all be friends. Horrible, horrible friends.

What would have stopped Trump even more than a march would have been speaking up when Obama was increasing executive power.

I estimate crowd size somewhere between 7 and MAX_INT.

I never knew crowd sizes were so important to democracy. Let’s count ‘me really carefully and write the number down somewhere and then…

So M. Night Shyamalan has a hit movie with a big twist at the end? Trump wasted no time in making America great again.

Finally saw Creed. Definitely best Rocky movie since the first.
Noticed they never mention specific of how Apollo Creed died since it’s from schlockiest Rocky movie and wouldn’t fit tone.
Anyway, Creed is a excellent new twist on the same plot that’s in every Rocky movie (but it’s a great plot!).

For me, politics is now like watching this sport where I intensely hate every team competing.
And whoever wins can kill and imprison people.

Kind of ironic that Richard Spencer is both a Nazi and a member of a small, powerless minority that people cheer on violence against.

Why we’re in trouble: Trump is the awfullest person elected president, but still most of the attacks on him are lies and partisan nonsense.

I’m scared of what Trump could do. And I’m scared the self-righteous left will be even worse when they next get power again.
And remember: The other side will always get power again.

People never give the government power believing people they despise will one day wield it, even though that always ALWAYS happens.
My one hope is that Trump being more blatant than usual will wake people up to this, but I’m not that hopeful.

The crowd sizes should only be significant to small minds… which is why Trump and the press won’t stop talking about it.

I don’t get what’s so interesting or significant about a White House Press Secretary blatantly lying.

Hard not to laugh at a Nazi getting punched, but it’s scary to see the left cheering on political violence as that’s not going anywhere good.

Favorite part of Rocky IV when knocked down Rocky motivates himself with all the money he’ll win, thus beating the Commie with capitalism.

I wish Episode VIII was instead called “The Final Jedi” so we could adapt that Europe song to be the theme.

So do we all get our own list of non-violent people with views so horrible it’s okay to punch them?

ME: “The media is just constantly lying about Trump.”
TRUMP: “Yeah, they’re always lying about me.”
ME: “SHUT UP YOU LIAR!”

For those who think it’s okay to punch Richard Spencer in the face, where’s the cutoff? Would it be okay to stab him as well? More?

Weird when I see I’m blocked by some random person I’ve never heard of. Who would block me? I’m lovable.
I guess this like how C.S. Lewis said hell is a place locked from the inside.

The people in Hollywood really liked the movie about Hollywood?

Glad video games don’t have the Hollywood problem or all award winning games would be ones where you play as heroic video game programmers.

I saw one of the best picture nominees this year! And I want to see at least one more. I’m sophisticated.

I’m rooting for Kubo to win best animated picture as it really deserved a bigger audience.
And it tried something much more different than the (admittedly excellent) Disney films.

Is “woke” another term for sociopath?

What if one of Trump’s nominees gets voted down in th Senate by a million illegal votes?

Maybe Trump means he plans to remove the citizenship of millions of people who voted.

Don’t worry, we’ll get back to being really concerned about climate change in 4 years. Maybe 8. Doubt it would be more than 12.

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts: John Lewis and Zelda

Maybe when the next Game of Thrones book comes out it can be bundled with Half Life 3.

If you want to save the ACA, you need to be more honest about Obama’s lies about it, its flaws, and who it’s hurt.

The problem with claims that repealing the ACA will cause people to die is there were so many lies on passage, why would people listen now?

How do I prevent my children from becoming woke?

To the left, Trump is like this monster where hitting it with all our normal weaponry only makes it stronger.

Wow. Getting a dual-boot into 32-bit Windows on a 64-bit system a lot more complicated than I remember. Learned new acronyms: UEFI, MBR, GPT

I see a bunch of people claiming there will be deaths without the ACA. Honest question: Are there stats to back that up?

ACA Debate:
“We have to kick you in the balls or people will die of cancer.”
“Why do you have to kick us–”
“DO YOU WANT PEOPLE TO DIE?!”

If you like civil rights, the last thing you should do is invent a reason to not criticize a partisan politician.

It’s morally wrong to NOT criticize a partisan politician.

I’m not going to say Trump is a legitimate president. He’s just no more illegitimate than the others.

Memo to Joss Whedon and others: To be an effective opposition to Trump, you need to be less angry and hateful than white nationalists. Less.

Right now, people who act like Joss are basically the front lines of Trump’s reelection committee.

John Lewis has been a partisan politician for decades. If you won’t criticize him, you’re a bad American.

Of course Trump’s criticism of Lewis was dumb – because he’s Trump – but everyone else should be making the smarter criticisms.

John Lewis is not the special kid in class. The substance of what he said should be criticized the same as if it came from anyone else.

So is now the official position of the Democrats that what John Lewis said is true and they all don’t think Trump will be legitimate?

I’d respect any politician who sat out Trump’s inauguration because it sounds boring and they’d rather watch Netflix.

Why even have an inauguration? Just show up 9am at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. and get to work.

Happy to see Hidden Figures was number one over the weekend. It’s a uniquely American story – both the good and the bad.

My kids are very susceptible to TV ads since they barely ever see them.
Really, a big selling point for Netflix for kids – even more than their original programming – is no toy ads.

An offensive line sounds like something from Flatland.

If the Cowboy’s quarterback totally blew it I had this great line comparing him to Luke Skywalker’s ill-fated gunner on Hoth.
No, I’m not really that big into sports. Why do you ask?

I talk to my kids about my favorite show in past tense. I keep forgetting The Simpsons is still on the air.

I will give Jack-less 24 a try, but it better wow me.

Watching Sherlock, I’m surprised to find that Elementary is still on the air. Hadn’t heard anything about it since it premiered.
But I guess that’s a lot of Network TV. “That’s still on the air?” They did eventually end JAG, right?

By the time my kids are in college, long running Sherlock will have as many episodes as Firefly.

Protests against Trump’s inauguration seems counterproductive. The problem with Trump’s opposition has never been that it’s not loud enough.

Make sure to honor Martin Luther King with myopic partisan politics.

“What’s Lex Luthor King Day?” -my daughter. So yes, we have some educating to do.

So the next Legend of Zelda is going to have voice acting. Nintendo is only two decades behind on that.

Don’t get silencer opposition. If you hate guns, then why do you want to hear them? No one hates dogs but wants them to be louder.

“All men are created equal” is a religious statement, not a scientific one.

Can’t believe President Obama pardoned all of ISIS.

As awful as Trump is and as many legitimate faults as he has, most of the opposition to him still seems to be partisan nonsense.

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts: Repealing the ACA and Comic Book Movies

If you’re in middle class, ACA feels like the president took a dump on you and wants you to be grateful he deigned you worthy of his time.

Can’t all the people who like abortion fund abortion and all the people who don’t like abortion fund miniature American flags?

In doing a live Facebook video of torturing a disabled man, what exactly was the best case scenario outcome those teens were hoping for?

“I can have ice cream for breakfast if I say so! I’m infalbubble!” -Kid Pope, new show I’m pitching

Your rights never require federal funding of particular entities. Well, maybe the military.

What would happen if all the people yelling about PP being defunded funded PP? We’d be a free a country with people exercising freedoms.

We have a giant stupid government of people who think they’re immune to math. Any cut in federal spending should be celebrated.

The way things are going, that wall will be built between middle America and the coasts. Doubt we can get Mexico to pay for that.

The ACA was dishonestly sold, and now people dishonestly defend it pointing to those who got coverage while ignoring legitimate grievances.
Maybe some people got coverage who didn’t have it AND others got completely screwed.
Of course, the argument for the ACA was never “The middle class needs to pay more for worse coverage to fund everyone else.”
So either the president was too dishonest or incompetent to know what the result would, but he owes a huge apology to millions of Americans.
If you want to save the ACA, the first step is to apologize to those hurt by it. Everyone is instead continuing to be arrogant and dishonest.

“So what do you do?”
“I’m the pope.”
narrows eyes “Aren’t you kind of young for a pope?”
shrugs
opening theme

How about a resolution not contesting the results of the election but just saying that the whole thing was really stupid.

What if Mexico pays for the wall in pesos? No stores here accept those. It would be useless to us.

Here’s Rowdi. We got her 11 years ago this month. We were told she was 3 years old at the time. She’s probably older now.
Rowdi
I was hoping she’d slow down a little when she got older, but she still lives up to her name.

No matter how many awful films M. Night Shyamalan makes, I keep rooting for him to make a comeback b/c of how good his first few films were.

Suicide Squad was such a mess. How do you invest over a hundred million in a movie at not make sure it’s at least decently plotted?
And how do so many jokes miss? There are countless funny people you can pay to make sure your jokes are actually funny.
So so dumb. It was alternately too dark and too schmaltzy (“I’m not going to lose my new family!”).
It says a lot that the least bad thing about the DC movie universe so far is Ben Affleck as Batman.
My advice: Put the Arrowverse people in charge of the movies. They actually understand comic books and fun.
And both DC and Marvel: Please learn how to make a memorable villain.

Maybe smaller budgets would help. You have to get more creative if you can’t just fill the screen with a bunch of CGI nonsense.
I’d say the most consistently good comic book material has been the Marvel Netflix series.
They never have quite enough material to fill 13 episodes, but otherwise usually pretty solid.

To me, the Marvel movies are like high quality junk food. Never great, but you always look forward to it and are almost never disappointed.
The worst of the Marvel universe were the first two Thor movies which were entertaining to watch while leaving almost no impression.

The 22 episode American season is kinda insane. No hour long show can really fill that up well, though many try admirably.
Not as insane as the 3 episode British season (or series, as they call is), though.

If you believe Barack Obama is a good president everyone should be grateful for, this whole Trump thing has to be even more confusing.

If you like celebrities lecturing people on politics, you’re as horrible a human being as Trump.

If you weren’t very critical of Barack Obama, you’re not going to have a lot of cache being critical of Trump.
Republicans barely listened to other Republicans critical of Trump. Why the hell would they care what a Democrat thinks?

If Star Wars Episode VIII picks up right where the last one left off, will the opening scroll just be short novelization of Episode VII?

Who pays attention anymore when Democrats scream racism at a Republican?
They’re rhetoric when confronted with an active Klansman or Mitt Romney is exactly the same. Dems are useless on that issue.

Some people hate Republicans. Some people hate Democrats. Can’t we compromise and hate them both?

How can you have comprising information on Trump that’s worse than what we already know? His awfulness goes to 11?

I missed the speech. Did he apologize for what his bumbling did to my health insurance?

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts: Entering the Year of Trump

My wife remembers seeing the Sinbad genie movie in the early 90s and got angry when I told her it doesn’t exist.

Working from home, I now know why there are office that let you bring your dog but not ones that let you bring your cat.

I’ve heard some alarming reports that Donald Trump is close to obtaining nuclear weapons.

Half the movies you enjoyed as a kids never actually existed.

Weird. Some people remember as a kid seeing a version of Die Hard that wasn’t a Christmas movie.

Helped my mom get on Twitter so she could follow what Trump is up to.

The problem with the arguments that Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie is that they make you bad and wrong.

There’s a big difference between Christmas movies – like Die Hard – and movies just set during Christmas – like Die Hard 2.

“Be careful of the woods, my child. They are filled with clowns and Hillary Clinton.”

Is there a final Santa Clause movie where someone murders Tim Allen and has to take his place?

I’m pretty convinced that white-gold/blue-black dress has something to do with that alternate universe Sinbad genie movie.

Hidden Figures was really good. Great and inspiring story. Interesting juxtaposition of “this hasn’t been done before” of breaking gender/race barriers and getting men into space.

The 80s were so authoritarian. Remember “Skate or Die”? Now you have the freedom not to skate.

I’d rather have a terrible president everyone admits is terrible than a terrible president most of the media props up as smart and good.

I don’t get why anyone wants a state in the Middle East. Terrible neighborhood. Don’t see it gentrifying any time soon.

If you want to hack an election, can download election hacking code from GitHub. Can only swing election to major party, though.

At least we don’t have to worry about a new Cold War since we’re going to have a president who LOVES Russia.

If I’m ever a rockstar, I’m going to drink Rockstar energy drink for energy for rocking. I’ll also do similar if I’m turned into a monster.

I was thinking of telling my wife she looked pretty today, but I saw what happened with Steve Martin and his Carrie Fisher tweet.

#NeverTrump had little to no effect on voting, putting them on the same footing as Hollywood celebrities and the entirety of the MSM.

We have a bunch of weird dishonest pundits commenting on weird dishonest politicians.

Hey. A new article on why Trump is bad. This could change everything.

Are there any crazy schemes left to try and stop Trump? Petition John Roberts not to swear him in?
Quickly amend Constitution with a “no Trumps” clause?
Have Obama surrender country to Canada so they get to appoint our leader?
It was just cute watching people earnestly cling their hopes to idiotic ideas and it’s better than mass depression.

Don’t get yelling “Allahu akbar!” and killing people. “God is great!” seems like something you should yell before throwing out free candy.
“Ooh! Free candy! God really is great!”

What if Bernie had lost to Trump? We’d now have smug Hillary people saying how she’d have easily won. We’re not the worst timeline.

Kubo and the Two Strings was really good (and really beautiful). Shame it didn’t seem to find an audience.

Going to constantly hear about Trump for all the foreseeable future. Don’t know what Greatest Generation went through, but it wasn’t that.

The iOS version has poor controls and less features, but when you’re bored on a rainy day, you know what they say: “Any port in a storm.”

No one I know voted for Trump. Or for Hillary. I’m very lonely.

Trump seems like the villain from a little kid’s cartoon – bumbling and loud mouthed, not threatening. He’d be a good member of Team Rocket.
“Team Rocket has taken over the White House! We have to stop them before they steal Pikachu!”
But what does this make Hillary? Who is outwitted by Team Rocket?

The ethics committee should disband. There hasn’t been any ethics in Congress for years, so what’s its purpose?

I don’t think I could be president because I wouldn’t be able to help myself from punching most foreign leaders if I got close to them.
Or maybe I should be president.

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts: Christmas and Trump

As part of my work setup, I have a MacBook Pro, a Surface Pro, and an iPad Pro. Really makes me feel like some sort of… not amateur.

The obvious problem in our presidential election system is not the electoral college but what made our choices Trump or Hillary.

So we’re really going with “fake news” as the big threat facing this nation? Our problems just keep getting dumber.

f the work you can do for a business is worth less than $15 an hour, it should be illegal to hire you.

Seems kind of insane how DNC forced Hillary as the nominee, but it makes sense as a devious Russian plot to get Trump elected.

If left want people to get outraged at something about Trump, they need to quiet down every so often. They’re like dogs constantly barking.

Maybe this is just 80s nostalgia talking, but I don’t quite trust those Russians.

Before Obamacare, you could go bankrupt if you got sick. After Obamacare, you go bankrupt from premiums before you get sick.

My only concern about Rex Tillerson is how many white papers he’s written about extracting oil from irradiated countries.

So are we finally going to have that war with Russia all the 80s movies promised us?

The left will do anything to stop Trump other than introspection.

We’re past the time for game theory. It’s time for game facts.

I’m willing to give Drilly McOilman a shot. Businessmen don’t like global conflict; it gets in the way of da money.

I liked the optimism in Rex Tilleson’s released statement. “All the world’s oil is mine! Sweet sweet oil!”

Know how every Christmas the president dresses up as HoHoHo-bama and takes the toys of rich children? Never found out what he does with them.

The Hillary biopic should end with her realizing she didn’t need all that ambition when she had the love of who she needed most: Wall Street

If I’ve noticed any pattern to things lately, expect Trump to increase his lead due to faithless electors.

Trump rushes out of his meeting with Kanye West
“Is it too late to change my pick for Secretary of State?!”

Every day Trump will get more awful and his critics will get even more awfuler.

Usually, $10 would be a steal for a brand new Mario game, but for some reason it seems like a lot on iOS.

Is everyone still talking about Trump? Election is over; time to forget about that guy.

Prediction: We’ll all grow to love Trump, and he’ll be reelected in the largest landslide. And then we’ll all die in a nuclear holocaust.

If Trump is illegitimate because 54% oppose him, was Bill Clinton even more illegitimate?
Or am I being silly to pretend any of these sorts of things are actual arguments?

You’re not going to make any progress continuing to focus on how awful Trump is. You need to focus on in what ways you’re worse.

Let’s calm down. We’re all going to get through this.
Well, most of us will.
A good number will.
There will be survivors.
Hopefully.

I looked and there is no talking Luke Cage tree ornament that says “Sweet Christmas!” We are a broken society and Trump is our ruler.

Why would you assume I’ve heard of all the minor reindeer but not the most famous reindeer of all? You’re why we have Trump.

I need to know more about what holidays you’re celebrating before I’ll decide whether I want them to be happy or not.

“You may remember me from such films as Spawn and Project: Alf. I’m here to tell you DISMANTLE DEMOCRACY!”

Do people remember that 57% “voted against” Bill Clinton, or is that down the rage memory hole?

I’m raising funds to recount the votes in the electoral college. I will need $70 million dollars. This is not a scam.

Congratulations to Colin Powell for coming in third in the presidential election.

Daughter has started pronouncing her Rs but it’s caused her to drop any Os that are in front of an R which is endlessly amusing.

Now that we’re absolutely certain Trump is going to be president, can we stop talking about him?

Why $15 an hour and not $14? Or $16?

Trump has to have a vulnerability. How was Wario ultimately defeated?

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts: Taiwan Talking

Buzzfeed is always on the search for worst bigots than themselves and always failing.

To a crying baby, daddy is the “Is Pepsi okay?” of parents.

We need to keep our country’s Constitution strong to help with saving throws.

Anyone want to start a party based around classical liberalism and free markets? Warning: It’s probably not going to be very popular.

With daughter collecting superheroes, realized there’s few good super heroines, especially ones who arent just girl versions of male heroes.
I guess there’s Jessica Jones, but I don’t want my daughter emulating her.

Now Trump knows if his phone rings and the caller id says “Taiwan” he’s supposed to do the smart person thing and flush it down the toilet.

Got a new PC (a Surface Pro 4). Now to use that dedicated Chrome bootstrapping program, Internet Explorer.

We tried smart people who play by the rules, and they all failed horribly. Now it’s time for a dumb person who doesn’t play by the rules!

Technology is taking our jahbs!

I barely made it through the election. I honestly have no idea how we last four years of constantly talking about Trump.
And seeing the opposition, it’s probably going to be eight.

Would Amazon like it if someone made a robot that constantly innovates ways to make people’s lives better? Then they’d all lose their jobs.

So is there anyway in Windows 10 to make it when you adjust volume there isn’t this giant thing that pops up taking up half the screen?

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts: Settling Into the Idea of a Trump Presidency

There was huge and very successful effort to suppress minority vote in the presidential election. It’s called “nominating Hillary Clinton.”

People on the left: If you want to learn from this, stop focusing on why everyone else is horrible and focus on why you are horrible.

“If we hate and marginalize a large group of people, good things will happen!” -racists, leftists

If California secedes, Trump is going to make them pay for their wall.

I hope Donald Trump does well as president, which means him not doing a lot of things he’s proposed to do.

The DNC leadership needs to get purged. I’d say the same for the RNC, but that ain’t gonna happen now. I think I got purged.

Trump appointing climate denier head of the EPA, education denier as Secretary of Education, and country denier as Secretary of State.

From a feminist perspective, it did seem kind of silly we were going to have our first woman president be the spouse of a previous president.

It’s wrong that Supernatural is still so much fun in it’s 12th season.

I still can’t believe what happened. Didn’t anyone read the New York Times’ endorsement of Hillary?

Here’s a way of looking at it: The government is the worst part of our country, so we should get the worst person we can find to head it.

I think Nate Silver has earned a victory lap for this election even more so than he did in 2012.

It’s like the left don’t understand there are other bad things in this world than racism. That can’t be your sole argument.
“I know we ignore all your concerns, but you have to vote for this corrupt plutocrat to fight racism!”

It’s kind of terrifying that the air around us is filled with invisible creatures that want to eat us -though usually they wait until we die.

We all know 2016 has been a crappy year, but when was the last really good year?

“We keep yelling ‘Bigot!’ at people, and yet they persist in existing! I don’t get it!”

Should probably wait until President Trump does something worth protesting. So like late January.

I hope Trump keeps tweeting. The only reason to stop him is so we can pretend he’s something he isn’t.
Well, maybe that and national security.

We should amend the Constitution that the winner of the popular vote in a presidential election gets a nifty plaque.

I’d be ecstatically happy if the most embarrassing thing Trump does in foreign affairs is vomit on the prime minister of Japan.

The left freaking out and overreacting about Trump is normalizing him because that’s what they’d do about any Republican.
Can they do something new – like a stunned silence – so people don’t start thinking he’s just an average Republican?

I think the most effective way to deal with Trump would be to ignore him. No law says you have to cover the president.

I was really concerned about the crisis of Americans only reading fake news, but it ends up that was an Onion article.

More like Steve Ban-Him. #PoliticalCommentary

Trump told me to come in tomorrow to interview for being Secretary of State. Do you know if he’s talking to other candidates?
Anyone know how much I can negotiate on pay?

I think strategy is put kids movie on Netflix so kids will watch over and over and demand a DVD when it disappears from Netflix.

“I want to watch Minions movie!”
“Not on Netflix anymore.”
“This means nothing to me because I’m 3. Fulfill my request, father.”

One of the worst ways to find out you’re adopted has to be traveling back in time to kill your grandfather and failing to create a paradox.

Booing is okay, but not even a serial killer deserves getting lectured by actors.

For those who badmouth 2016, remember that we’re living in the golden age of television. And apples. So many delicious apple varieties.

All politicians should be booed all the time everywhere.

I can already tell that 2020 is going to be a close race between Trump’s own awfulness and the awfulness of his loudest detractors.

A) Trump is awful.
B) The Hamilton cast’s “I hope you learned from us” lecture was extremely arrogant and emblematic of why Trump won.
C) I hope emblematic is an actual word used correctly. Sometimes my brain hands me odd vocabulary and I just assume it knows what it’s doing.

What are the betting odds on Trump completing a full term?

Finished Luke Cage. The Netflix Marvel series just keep getting better and better.
I thought highlight was the actress who played Misty Knight. Main villain was kinda hokey, though. Secondary villains were very well done.
Actually, almost everyone was a complex character except main villain who apparently had an evil (and crazy) switch flipped in the past.

Kids are watching Dinosaur Kings and now I have to keep explaining there’s nothing in paleontological evidence about special attacks.

How do so many people not know Nazis are bad? Do kids not play Wolfenstein in school anymore?

Becoming president seems like a really good business opportunity for Trump.

My fear is the very legitimate and important criticisms of Trump will get buried under dumb partisan criticisms of him.

Despite fitting in your lower abdomen, your intestines are 20 feet in length. So they’re laid out much like an IKEA.

I don’t start my new job until next week, but my wife is buying Honeycrisp apples like we’re rich people.

We got our depressing election result. Can’t believe people are so worked up because they really wanted the other possible depressing result.

The place to call chicanery was the primary, not the general. How’d we end up with those two as our options?

I described to my 6yo what the movie Die Hard is and she said, “How is that a Christmas movie?” Ugh. I hope she isn’t one of those people.

I don’t like these Batman toys made for little kids. I don’t care if it’s for a 3yo; Batman doesn’t smile.
cyic4fqveaaat25

People rightly criticized Trump for not condemning David Duke, but isn’t not condemning Fidel Castro even morally worse?

Are there really people on the left who don’t understand Fidel Castro was horrible? I thought that was just vicious slander about them.

The main opposition to Trump is going to be led by people with “nuanced” views about Fidel Castro. We’re doomed.

Whether Hitler or Castro, I wish we lived in a country where we could all just agree that murderous dictators are bad.

Fidel Castro was a freedom fighter – if he found freedom anywhere in his country, he fought it.

“How could people choose ignorant racists over us, enlightened liberals? BTW, a murderous dictator who oppressed his country is good.”

Romney would add a nice odd couple element to our new White House reality show.

Never understood stuffing. Soggy bread is something we usually seek to avoid. That’s why we have toasters.

Right needs to handle its racists and left needs to handle its people who respond to the litany of abuses of Castro with “free healthcare!”

One of my favorite movie scenes has to be Johnny Depp asking Danny Trejo if he’s a Mexican or a Mexican’t.

I liked Finding Dory, but why were they throwing whole fish to a whale shark, a filter feeder?
Also, I don’t think clams can talk.

Wouldn’t having the electoral college take the presidency away from Trump basically end this country? Do people really mean that seriously?
We have our horrible new president. Deal with it. Stop trying to get some other horrible president who wasn’t elected.
Do people really want like a military coup on top of all this nonsense?

Won’t you take me to
Funkytown
They stopped allowing
Uber cars

It should count for something that Hillary won by over 2 million votes in Presidential Election: The Home Game.

Never before has someone been able to completely dominate the news with so little effort.

Send to Kindle

In My World: Transition

“And this is the Oval Office,” President Obama said as he and Donald Trump entered together. “Soon it’s going to be yours.”

Trump took a moment to look around and absorb it all in. “Nice. I like this place. Real rustic charm. How much is it?”

“Huh?”

“For this house. I don’t like the color. I’ll have to factor in repainting it on price.”

Obama took a deep breath. “What do you think this is?”

“You’re a realtor, right?” Trump shrugged. “Sorry, I have a lot on my schedule. You’ll have to remind me who you are and what this is about.”

“I’m President Barack Obama. I’m helping in the transition of power since you’re going to be the next president.”

“Oh yeah. I thought I remembered you. You’re that Kenyan guy.”

“I’m not Kenyan! I’m American!”

“Then why do you have that funny accent.”

“It’s supposed to be an elitist accent, not a foreign one.”

Trump started looking over the desk. “If you’re so sensitive about this, you should probably release your birth certificate.”

“I have! Multiple times! Here I keep it on me since I keep getting asked about it.” Obama pulled a piece of paper from his coat pocket and handed it to Trump.

Trump looked if over carefully. He then tossed it away. “I don’t know what a real birth certificate looks like, so that didn’t prove anything. Now let’s get to business: Where’s the button?”

“The what?”

“You know. The world ending button.”

Obama sighed. “It’s here.” He slid open a panel on the desk showing a big red button. “The important thing to remember is—”

Trump slammed the button with the palm of his hands.

“What are you doing?” Obama yelled. “It doesn’t even work until you enter the launch codes.”

“What are those?”

“Well, they’re two twelve digit sequences you’ll need to memorize. The first is—”

“This is getting too complicated. I think I’ll just call in a bombing strike if that’s easier. Do I do that with this?” He picked up a red phone on the desk and spoke into it. “Bomb someone. One of the ‘stans or something. Let them know America is great again… I know I’m not president yet. Fine. Do it when I am president. And put ‘America is great again!’ on the missiles. Also, make sure they mention the president is now Trump and not Borax Alabama or whatever his name was.”

Obama pulled away the phone. “We need to talk about policy. You’re inheriting a very divided nation. I tried to unite them, but they were all too stupid to follow my leadership or something. Frankly, I don’t care for most of them. But maybe they’ll respond more to you since you talk more their level. You know: idiot.”

Trump walked to the window. “Yeah, everybody loves me. I’m pretty awesome. The best.” He looked out for a few moments. “I don’t care for the view. I may have to move this place.”

“And I need to start thinking what I’m going to do after being president. I need to build on my legacy.”

Trump put his hand on Obama shoulder. “I hate to break it to you, but you don’t have a legacy. You weren’t a good president. I don’t remember exactly what you did, but I remember not liking it. Bad. So forget all this. Do something fun. A great thing to do is open a foundation in your name. You can funnel all sorts of money through that. I learned that from Hillary Clinton. Great chick. Hey, whatever happened to her?”

Obama stared quietly at Trump for a second. “You beat her in the election for president.”

“Oh yeah, I did.” Trump laughed for a moment, but then frowned. “She’s not going to like that. You think she might kill me?”

“I had the same concern after the 2008 primary,” Obama said. “The Secret Service has learned to keep pretty good tabs on her. Anyway, I want to talk to you about the Affordable Care Act.”

“The what?”

“The ACA.”

Trump furrowed his brow. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Obama sighed. “Obamacare.”

Trump laughed. “Oh yeah, you really took a dump on everyone’s health insurance didn’t you?”

“It was — it is — a very good bill. I’m very smart — ask anyone — and the policy was really smart too. It was just… the people buying insurance were dumb. They did it wrong.”

“Yeah, people will fail you. I never cared for people. Or a lot of animals. Did I tell you that time a chicken attacked me?”

“What chicken attacked you?”

“I have no idea. It was wearing a mask. Anyway, I was just minding my own business — slapping and yelling at a chicken — and suddenly it attacks me. I barely got out of there alive. And since I couldn’t be sure what chicken — because of the mask — I came back with my people and we killed all the chickens in the county. Slaughtered ’em all. And it was a farm county; lotta chickens. Lotta angry farmers.”

Obama raised an eyebrow. “What did you do with all that chicken meat?”

“Huh?”

“You killed the a lot of chickens. That meant a lot of spare meat.”

Trump furrowed his brow again. “You can eat chickens?” Trump shook his head. “Anyway, you’re missing the point. The point is: I will protect this nation.”

“And your evidence for that is you once vengefully killed a lot of chickens?”

Trump nodded. “Exactly. You get me. I like you. But it’s time for you to go. People want the Democrats to take over now.”

“You’re a Republican.”

“Yeah, whatever party I am. That’s the one taking over now. The red one. So I’m going to get to work. And by the time you get back from your vacation, America will be great again.”

“What? I’m not going on vacation,” Obama said. “You are president for the next four years.”

Trump scoffed. “Four years? I’m making America great again. That will take three months tops and then you can have the office back. After that I have a great idea for a water park for dogs. Going to work on that.” Trump looked around. “So do I just leave all your stuff out on the curb or what?”

“You’re not president until January.”

“Oh? Then what am I doing here now. I don’t even get the point of this.”

“Donald, you have to take this seriously,” Obama stated. “You are taking on a grave responsibility. America is a great country — one of my top twenty favorites — and you need to protect and lead it. You have to rise to this occasion and take this seriously.”

Trump nodded. “I want to assure you that — while I didn’t listen to anything you just said — I am going to be great at this. The best. And I will—” He suddenly caught a glimpse of the button again and slammed it with his palm.

“Still not doing anything,” Obama said.

Trump headed for the door. “Well, have that fixed by the time I get back.”

Obama slowly walked to his desk and sat down. “It’s going to be dark times of this nation, I just know it,” he said to himself. “Only one thing can cheer everyone up.” He started typing at a computer. “Another memoir!”

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts: Election Reactions (Including Crow to Eat)

Voting is the state trying to get your fingerprints on the murder weapon.

According to Exit Polls, people prefer a glowing red sign flush to the wall.

Make sure to UV scan people’s “I Voted” stickers to confirm they’re not counterfeit.

No matter who you vote for, I won’t get angry. I know how horrible the person is you’re voting against.

So we’re all just waiting to see how Bill Mitchell responds when it becomes clear Trump lost? [Ed. Note: Bill Mitchell was right about everything I was very wrong]

I hope the Trump concession speech is epic. No reason to hold back. [Ed. Note: Trump gave a very nice victory speech]

I hope in Hillary’s victory speech she thanks all the people who voted for Trump in the primary since that will be the only reason she won. [Ed. Note: I am an out of touch elitist]

No where in the Constitution does it give the government the right to spend our tax dollars on “I Voted” stickers.

I don’t think any of us are mentally prepared for a Trump win. Like a meteor hitting – possible but don’t think it will actually happen.

As much as I always dreamed of Hillary losing the presidency, I’m scared.

The only winner in all this is Nate Silver.

Apparently there are hidden Trump voters. Some could be in your house right now. Maybe standing right behind you.

You encourage people to go out and vote and this is what happens.

People thought Trump was a plant to get Hillary elected, but what if it’s the other way around?

If Hillary loses, it’s not because of the emails. That’s just a symptom of her huge problems.

The only surviving pundits will be Nate Silver and the Dilbert guy.

What if Bill Mitchell is the only sane one among us?
The ground game was in their hearts! It was!

Can Mexico even afford the wall?

So we’re looking at a Trump presidency with really confused Republican majorities in House and Senate.

What’s gong to happen to the taco trucks?

You Dems weren’t listening much on limiting executive power the past 8 years; want to revisit that?

Let this be a lesson: Whatever power you give the government, remember that one day it will be wielded by a Trump.

“We just weren’t patronizing and smug enough!” -left-wingers right now

It seemed like Trump was about as awful as possible. He just wasn’t more awful than what’s considered normal for D.C.

We had already explained to the kids an awful lady was going to be our next president. I don’t even know how to explain this to them.

Left, right, all skin colors and religions – we’re just going to have to hug it out and get through this, okay?

“One in three of my simulations had this happening.” -Nate Silver to whoever is near him at the sports bar

Trump is the worst man to have ever run for our presidency. He’s apparently not the worst person, though.

I so wanted to gloat on a Hillary loss, but I’m too much in shock. I can’t even imagine what this all means.

I guess we’re not going to get our historic first president who is a spouse of a previous president.

I hope the left is ready for the soul-searching that the GOP is apparently avoiding.

I still don’t even understand how it’s physically possible to take Trump seriously. He’s this 90s novelty act.

Hillary was taking what everyone hates about politicians and then rubbing everyone’s faces in it. Bad gamble.

A lot of talk on what GOP has done wrong to lose all minorities but not a lot of talk on what Dems have done wrong to lose all whites.

We have 4 years ahead of us of talking about Trump and over analyzing the dumb things he says. FOUR YEARS!

The only one who will be able to beat Trump in 2020 will be Kanye West.

We thought Obama would be great for race relations and things got worse. Seems like Trump will be horrible for race relations so maybe…

Despite my best attempts, I’m apparently one of the elites with no idea what’s going on.

An important lesson is that yelling “Bigot!” doesn’t cause white people to magically disappear.

Nate Silver wins the Price Is Right for guessing the closest to Trump’s chances without going over.

Looking at how Trump changed the voting patterns, it’s not clear now that Rubio would have done better or even that he’d have won.

The Dems soul-searching needs to start with figuring out what they’ve done to completely chase away white voters.
A big part of their election strategy has been to put everyone in racial groups with one bad racial group to be the enemy. That can’t stand.

So I’m unemployed as of this week and now Trump is going to be president. I’m in a weird place right now.
BTW, if you some companies in the Austin area who need a software/firmware engineer (with mobile experience) hit me up.

Hopefully Trump can put Nate Silver in his cabinet as his math sorcerer.

Political correctness bullies people into not saying what they think, but it never changes what they think.
Political correctness has become a way to avoid addressing differences, and has thus made us weaker as a united people.

So what’s happening to Trump TV?

The president is terrible. Wait, is Trump president yet? Well, whoever it is, the statement stands.

Every time I’ve checked Twitter today, I’m like “Wait, did that really happen last night?” Hasn’t really sunk in.

In understanding Trump, can we finally all admit that Obama is a mediocre person who was elected for shallow reasons? Yes we can!

The false assumption of leftists is that they’re morally better than the supposed racists and misogynists they sneer at.

Bigots dismissing the concerns of large groups of people – that’s what unites racists and much of the left.

Who knows? Maybe really good things will come of the Trump presidency. We were wrong about everything else so far.

Send to Kindle

May You Live in Interesting Times

I was busy last night, so I DVR’d the election results. Please don’t spoil what happened.

Seriously, though, this is kinda crazy. I mean for me, I just became unemployed this week and now Trump is going to be president, so I’m in a weird place right now (BTW, if you have some leads for a tech job in the Austin area, hit me up). And it’s going to take a while for everyone to parse through this. It seemed like the Republican Party was dead, and now it’s in charge of everything and the Democrats are impotent and reeling. Now the Dems are the one’s that are going to have to do some soul-searching if they want to be relevant, and a lot of that is how all their identity politics finally came home to roost.

And still there’s the big unknown of what exactly is a Trump presidency going to be like? No one knows. Maybe even Trump doesn’t know.

Furthermore, as a classical liberal who wants smaller government, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing right now. I’m enjoying the Democrats’ huge loss, but I’m not sure how the Republican win gets me any closer to what I want. We’ll see, though. Uncharted territory. No one knows what will happen.

Well, everyone thought the election of Barrack Obama was going to be great for race relations, but things only got worse during his presidency. Everyone assumes Trump is going to be horrible for race relations, so maybe… just being hopeful here. We’re a big country and at some point we all have to learn to work together. And that means no large group having all their concerns dismissed. The left especially needs to learn that.

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts: Pre-Election Explosion

There is no political view so “right” it excuses you for being an awful person.

If I were Hillary, I’d block the Michael Moore film as it has much more risk of making things go the other way.

I won’t accept the results of this election. It’s just way too stupid to take that seriously.

The morally worst people in this election are those who give cover to corrupt, arrogant people in power.

Democrats concern over talk of rigged elections is as sincere as their concern for victims of sexual assault.

Trump’s remarks are not worth fretting over. There is no integrity in this idiotic election to preserve.

If we were smart, none of us would accept the results of an election that gave us either Trump or Hillary. This is obviously a sick system.

I think we should all make a pledge that, no matter who wins, we will refuse to accept the election results. #IRefuse

Hillary is everything that is wrong with politics. Trump is everything that is wrong with people.

We can’t question the integrity of the election that’s given us the two worst candidates we’ve ever seen.

When the Democrats questioned the election results in 2000, we never recovered. Things have been horrible since then.

Why do people keep acting like #NeverTrump has any ability to help Trump win? Are #NeverTrump powerful wizards?

You voted to burn down the GOP. Mission accomplished. Stop pretending you were voting to stop Hillary.

“I really want to stop Hillary, but let’s make it a challenge and nominate the dumbest, most obnoxiously awful human being we can find.”

Yes we said “Don’t put your face on a hot stove!” but you did and the obvious happened. It’s probably our fault.

My final advice for Trump: If you’re going to lose, lose crazy. We keep thinking we’ve seen your worst; keep proving us wrong.

All the Trumpkins will look up to #NeverTrump and shout “Use your magical powers to win the election!”and we’ll look down and whisper “no.”

There’s a subset of Republicans who said “Don’t vote for Obamacare!” and “Don’t vote for Trump!” and are blamed for failure of both.

What’s cultural Marxism? Is that stuff influenced by the movie Duck Soup?

Trump is so awful he keeps distracting from how awful Hillary is – which is more relevant if she’s going to be president.

If you really hate Trump, the worst punishment you can give him after this election is to never mention him again.

Criticism of Clinton does not equal support for Trump. Criticism of Clinton just means you’re sentient.
Repeat with Clinton and Trump swapped.

It would be funny if Trump won and it was because of one of those efforts to get low-information voters to the polls like Rock the Vote.

There’s so so many things to criticize Hillary as a politician or as a human being in general that there’s no reason to say anything sexist.

What if Trump wins and then he’s really good president and then we have to apologize for making fun of him and then he sexually assaults us?

The first task for President Hillary should be uniting a deeply scarred country. For GOP: appointing a special prosecutor to lock her up.

The people who keep excusing all of Hillary’s corruption and dishonesty are her deplorables and irredeemables.

The silver lining of this election is that no matter what happens, someone who very much deserves to lose is going to.

The best advice I can give the GOP is that after Trump loses you banish him to the phantom zone.

You know Wikileaks emails are all true b/c Hillary’s people keep saying they could be altered without ever pointing out something altered.

Playing Zelda Twilight Princess with the kids and it kinda seems like the Upside Down from Stranger Things was ripped off the Twilight Realm.
There are A LOT of similarities. I could do a listicle of it if I were the listicle making person.
Then again, the darker parallel universe isn’t that original in the first place. Not even first Zelda with it.

I gave up on Walking Dead after the first season. Great pilot, but meh after that. Read over 100 issues of the comics, though.

Of course it’s a rigged a election. That’s how we ended up being told our only choices are the insanely horrible Trump and Hillary.

We want to elect the best person in the country president. We’re told our choices are Trump or Hillary. #Rigged

Prediction: On the night of November 8th, Hillary will shout out her victory speech while being carted off in handcuffs.

The best strategy for the Trump campaign — as it has been for a while — is to get Trump trapped down a well until after Election Day.
“Sorry. No statement from Trump. He’s still trapped down a well where we can’t hear him. Imagine him saying something smart, though.”

Thanks to Hillary’s bad email practices, Weiner sexted all our state secrets to underage girls in ISIS.

Hillary just needs to calmly explain to the public that nothing will come of any FBI investigation of her because she is above the law.

“What should we call this type of flying insect?”
“A… fly!”
rubbing temples “It’s not even the only type of insect that flies, Carl.”

“No, no… the normal, responsible candidate is the one under FBI investigation.”

Not sure I’m great at these coding interview. When I feel there’s time pressure, my instinct is get it working and optimize later.

I have a feeling this election is saving its craziest moment for the season finale.

Bernie Sanders lacks basic math and reasoning skills, but I sure wish he was the one running against Trump and winning.

All the DNC leadership who forced Hillary on their party should resign if she loses. GOP leadership should resign regardless.

Just in case he wins, I better start working on my “who to blame” list for a Trump win now because it’s going to be pretty long.
Oh, crap… Am I on it?

Wow. Trump could actually win this if he could somehow stay out of the news until after Election Day.
Which is to say he can’t win this.

Maybe they should change the name of the Nintendo Switch to “Portable Skyrim.”

Game 7: When a baseball games becomes as exciting as a football game.

No more fear of goats! Everyone punch and disrespect goats! They are not our masters anymore!

It really seems like Trump would be running away with this election if he were only 5% less horrible and dumb.

If Trump wins the presidency, it will be like that Brexit vote, right? And we’ll just never actually get around to it?

I agree with Melania that we need to stop all these cyborg bullies. Maybe use an EMP grenade or something.

What would be the most boring outcome Tuesday? Hillary winning by a decent but non-landslide margin?

Anyone thought about making a political party around classical liberalism?
The Libertarian Party? No, I meant a serious one.

Is there any group out there that encourages low-informative, non-motivated voters to abstain from voting?

Has Nate Silver turned to dark math sorcery to try and make Trump win?

I forgot Trump has Secret Service agents assigned to him. Why don’t they ever keep him from shooting himself in the foot?

“This election is almost over. This horrible election is finally almost over…”
Sunday night sees clock go from 1:59AM to 1:00AM
“WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!”

Send to Kindle

Sad, But Smiling

I was really saddened to hear about the passing of Lactose the Intolerant. He’s certainly been more of a part of IMAO than I have for some time. My prayers are with his family in this time of need, especially his wife and their five children.

A lot of people have been talking about what a depressing year it’s been — especially in the area of politics — and this certainly doesn’t help. We need more people like Jonathan now to keep good humor and keep everyone’s spirits up. And that just makes it more incumbent on us to keep up a smile and fight the good fight.

Remember Lactose the Intolerant. And remember your humor.

[more on Lactose here]

Send to Kindle