Author Archive

Wisdom of the Day: Anger Ebola NASA Skeleton

Monday, October 20, 2014 5:00 pm

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Random Thoughts: Ebola Czar

Monday, October 20, 2014 9:17 am

I feel much better about Ebola now that we have a partisan crony in charge of things.

“Ebola is not dangerous. To prove it, I will drink this big mug of Ebola.” -Obama’s Ebola czar

No travel ban when people in Britain got mad cow disease, but the government did issue a warning not to eat the brains of English people.

The average human uses only 10% of his pancreas. Think of what could happen if he used 100%.

“Siri, what’s Ebola?” -Obama’s Ebloa czar

“Instead of focusing on the negative, let’s focus on the millions.. maybe thousands now… who don’t have Ebola.” -Ebola czar, year from now

Oh, the Ebola czar is good at management? And Obama has shown such an ability to recognize people who are good at management.

It’s not giving me confidence how the new Ebola czar jumps up on a chair and start shrieking anytime anyone near him sneezes.

Listen to scientists? You mean those losers who can’t figure out where 85% of the matter in the universe is?

At some point most of the misanthropes went from the racist side to the “pro-tolerance” side.

“I’m pro-science except when science goes against my politics.” -the left, everyone else

Want to feel old? The girl who played Rudy on The Cosby Show died of old age ten years ago.

“Beige… it’s the color of the future!” -a lot of convincing salesmen in the 70s, apparently

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Wisdom of the Day: Ebola Good Privilege Computer Thursday Line Wolfgang

Friday, October 17, 2014 5:00 pm

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Random Thoughts: Sexism, iPads, and Charlie Crist

Friday, October 17, 2014 9:52 am

Wouldn’t maybe a better option than freezing eggs would be giving women more opportunities to start a career later in life?

So the Bush administration lied about Saddam not having WMDs? Did not see that coming.

“I saw an episode of Matlock in a bar last night. The sound was down, but I think I got the gist of it.” -Ezra Klein’s legal credentials

I guess uncredited Simpsons quotes can be construed as plagiarism, but I just assume everyone knows it’s from The Simpsons. It’s like can you plagiarize famous lines from Shakespeare?

According to Apple, they’ve sold 10,000 iPads per every person who says they don’t get the point of an iPad.

I have a 32GB gen 3 iPad. Think it’s time for an upgrade. 4 y.o. daughter can get my iPad 3. Dumb baby can get my iPad 1.

Know what the baby calls the iPad? “Pie.” How do you get from “iPad” to “Pie”? That’s why he’s not allowed to use it.

I’m standing there playing Infinity Blade and he’s all “Pie! Pie! Pie!” Hey, I’m not letting you have my iPad, kid. Go rattle something.

If gender is a choice, doesn’t that make sexism okay since you’re just criticizing someone’s choice?

I think the reason President Obama sometimes appears to be aloof is that he doesn’t care whether any of us lives or dies.

In fairness, no matter what sort job Obama does as president, he gets paid the same, so what would be his motivation?

This is a review that makes me feel good.

Ezra Klein is either an idiot or a super genius at trolling for attention.

Charlie Crist is very sensitive to heat as he is 40% wax.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Wisdom of the Day: War Coyote Boat Level Millionaire Cashier

Thursday, October 16, 2014 5:00 pm

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Random Thoughts: The Left, Aquaman, and Ebola

Thursday, October 16, 2014 9:11 am

Bigotry grows in whoever doesn’t get his views challenged, and the left want nothing more than to keep people from challenging their views.

The left have lost the ability to work within a liberal society. They no longer debate ideas and instead just try to shut up other side.

If you need a screenwriter for the Aquaman movie, I’m good at writing fish dialogue.

Can’t we infect ISIS with Ebola and take care of two birds with one stone?

So basically when we need the government to be effective it’s still only as good as when we’re not paying attention to it.

With all the panic over a few cases of Ebola in the U.S., can you imagine what it’s like in Africa where thousands are dead?

Operation Ugh, I Don’t Wanna Be Here

If you vote for Charlie Crist, you lose the right to ever criticize politicians for being phonies forever.

I’m excited for the DC Comics movies about Batman, Superman, and… um… the others.

I want a dark, gritty Aquaman movie. That will be hilarious.

BREAKING: Cory Gardner was not particularly memorable as a high school football player. Must credit Deadspin.

“Get one of the interns to google whether Ebola is infectious.” -CDC

So we assumed that when a crisis is going on, the government suddenly starts doing better than government-quality work?

Half the country could die from Ebola, and all that would happen is someone in the CDC will be forced to take 2 weeks paid leave.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Random Thoughts: W9 and Photo ID

Wednesday, October 15, 2014 9:25 am

Just saw there is going to be a Comic Con in Boise this weekend. Not called Potato Con, though :(

Why do I have to fill out a W9 every time someone wants to give me money? Doesn’t the government know by now who I am and that I like money?

We might have reached the limit of how much racism can be ended by just harping on white people’s attitudes.

Really baffled by how the amount of melanin in your skin cells is supposed to affect your ability to get a photo ID.

I’m actually intrigued by the new Keanu Reeves movie where they kill his puppy and he kills everyone.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (5 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5)

Wisdom of the Day: Strength Palin Dreams Horror Apples Fire Horses Genders

Tuesday, October 14, 2014 5:00 pm

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Should We Celebrate Columbus Day?

Tuesday, October 14, 2014 11:13 am

I’m a day late (since I took Columbus Day off), but Steven Crowder has up at his new site a column on Columbus Day. Should we not celebrate Columbus Day because Columbus slaughtered lots of people? What if those people he slaughtered also slaughtered people? Do two slaughters make a right?

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Random Thoughts: Wendy Davis, Book Cover, and Upcoming Election

Tuesday, October 14, 2014 9:29 am

It’s no fun being tolerant if there isn’t someone intolerant to feel superior to.

Good solution for low information voters: Have voting booths where you push buttons and cool things light but no vote is recorded.

*tosses birth control at a woman’s face*
“There you go, honey. Vote Democrat.”

On level 606 of Candy Crush, things really get interesting.

Why we only see negative ads in politics? “No one wants to get burgers from some John Wayne Gacy-inspired clown. Paid for by Burger King.”

“Wendy Davis will always stand up for victims. Unless they’re in a wheelchair. Or if they’re a baby.”

“Wendy Davis wears pink tennis shoes. Greg Abbott doesn’t even need shoes because he can’t walk. Vote Wendy Davis.”

“A tree would never attack Wendy Davis because she’s friends with the environment. Vote Wendy Davis.”

“Greg Abbott is confined to a wheelchair, much like the villain from X-Men, Mag-Neato. Vote Wendy Davis.”

“Do we really want someone who will refuse to stand to take the oath of office? Vote Wendy Davis.”

Didn’t know I got sent this, but here is the finals for my book cover.

My book should be in bookstores on Nov. 11th. If your bookstore doesn’t have it, ask them what the hell is wrong with them. “This is exactly why Amazon is shutting all you guys down.”

With a full-time writing job lined up and a book coming out in bookstores, I’m about ready to call myself a professional writer.

The most frustrating thing about people who rant against religion is that they think they don’t have one.

I think it would be fun to have a coffee mug that says “Not A Very Good Father.”
“My kids got me it!”

Anyone have any idea what this outlet is for? Our house built in late 70s has two of them.

Getting house ready to sell and am replacing beige outlets. Why would anyone choose beige? “I want everything to be the color of sadness.”

Okay. Googled “unknown wall outlet” and I think it may be for a connection to a rooftop TV antenna.

Wendy Davis
CONS: A nut. Not very bright.
PROS: Pink tennis shoes.

I think the reason most people look on abortion as a bad thing is that most people aren’t sociopaths.

If you want to talk about abortion as a good thing that should be celebrated, definitely avoid talking about the actual mechanics of it.

The reason people are repelled by abortions is it involves violently ripping apart a tiny human. Society will never get past that.

It would be cool if they did a biopic of Nic Cage. My idea for stunt casting for the lead: Nic Cage.

Really thrilled to see some Democrats get defeated this November. Kinda meh on seeing Republicans get elected, though.

If everything goes to plan, I’ll be moving from ID to TX week before election. Doesn’t seem proper to vote in either state.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

The Next Stage for Frank J.

Friday, October 10, 2014 11:00 am

I’ve been kind of neglectful of this blog as of late. Actually, it kind of reminds me of what happened with the pets after SarahK and I got small kids. Well, I’ve had less time to write, and I’ve been trying to focus what little writing time I’ve had on some side project such as my books and my fiction writing. I wish I had more time to come up with some good blog posts, but it hasn’t been in the cards.

And now something big has happened. I’m finally giving up my day job as an engineer to be a full-time writer, as I’ve accepted a position at Emergent Order. You probably know them from the Kaynes/Hayek rap battle and the recent Kronies cartoons. They are an extremely talented group of people, and I am very honored they want me as part of their team. I am beyond excited to see what we can make together.

I’m also a bit scared. I’m now going to use the same part of my brain that came up with the Nuke the Moon essay and the Rumsfeld Strangler to financially support my family. Of course, anything worth doing is going to make you at least a little bit scared.

So what does this mean for the blog? I don’t know. In the least, I’m going to be very busy the next few weeks getting ready for the move to Austin, Texas. But I just wanted you to know that even if I’m not super active at the blog, I am out there writing (I also have a new book out next month and my first novel later this year). And I really want to thank all you blog readers for all your support through the years. It’s taken me places I wouldn’t even have imagined.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (9 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Random Thoughts: Star Wars, Millennials, and Moving to Texas

Friday, October 10, 2014 9:13 am

I remember the kids in the audience for Episode 1 loved Jar Jar Binks, so shouldn’t there be adults now who admit to liking him?

It doesn’t seem like he’s like the Ewoks – remembered fondly by those who were kids at the time they first saw the movie.

Disney should release definitive Star Wars in HD with original editions for 4-6 and blank discs for 1-3.

“We can all get free lunches if we go around breaking windows.” -Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman

To me, social issues are the most important issues, which is why I do my best to keep them away from politicians and the government.

Literally, the best thing we can do for Millennials is constantly make fun of them to break their unwarranted self-esteem.

Glad so much attention is being paid to Bill Maher and Ben Affleck debating Islam. Those are the two people who will probably solve things.

Did a very scary thing today: Gave 2 weeks notice to my engineering job which I enjoy. I’m moving to Austin, TX, to be a hipster/writer.

Very exciting opportunity has come up. And SarahK is a native Texan, so she’ll tell me how to behave. Hope Wendy Davis is a good governor.

So used to forcing out my writing in wee hours of the morning, don’t know what I’ll do with a full day. More time to stare at a blank page.

I’m going to be working as a writer for Emergent Order. You probably know them from the Kronies cartoons and the Keynes/Hayek rap battle.

They are a very talented group, and I can’t wait to see what we can make together.

I’m really honored they believe in me this much to hire me on full time. This is really crazy, and I can hardly believe it.

This is also very scary. I’m now going to be financially supporting my family using the part of my brain that came up with Nuke the Moon.

I’ll have to work on being a Texan. Is the emphasis on the “yee” or the “haw”?

And being a creative type in Austin, I’ll have to work on being cool. Like wearing bow ties and fezes.

Yes, I’m the kind of cool that makes obscure Doctor Who references.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Wisdom of the Day: Intellect Baby Katana Witch Read Chuck

Thursday, October 9, 2014 5:00 pm

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Random Thoughts: Rights and Libertarians

Thursday, October 9, 2014 9:35 am

If it involves someone else having to do something other than just leave you alone, it’s not a right.

Oh, I solved the puzzle: J.K. Rowling is taking over writing the next two books of Game of Thrones.

Wait, libertarians aren’t disciples of Joe Lieberman? Then what the hell are they?

*libertarian president takes office
“It’s time for freedom and–”
“BUT WHO IS GOING TO PAVE THE ROADS?!!”
*libertarian movement collapses

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Wisdom of the Day: Dead Exclamation Fly Willis Flash Branding

Wednesday, October 8, 2014 5:00 pm

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Random Thoughts: Billionaires, Presidents, and Fundraising

Wednesday, October 8, 2014 9:28 am

When Adam Smith was talking about an “invisible hand,” he was actually referring to his super-fast ninja punch.

I don’t know about the Koch brothers, but I find the billionaires like Bloomberg who spend money against liberty to be scarier.

What’s the positive message for Democrats this election? “We were saving all our competency for the last two years of the Obama presidency.”

With 8 years of Bush followed by 8 years of Obama, maybe in 2016 we should consider being done with presidents for a while.

I’ll be president in 2016 if you want. I’ll play videogames all day and leave you alone. I’ll still take the salary.

If the only way to beat Ebola is to out-fundraise it, we’re in good hands.

Who is Obama fundraising from? Who is seeing all this and wants more of it? Terrorist organizations?

Sorry, that just gets my goat. Of all the things you can do with money, but you choose to give it to a politician? That’s horrible.

I guess there is some confusion here; I’ve been trying to combat the problem of climate stasis.

Exactly how hard is it to forge Chuck E. Cheese prize tickets?

The silliness of having the government redefine the religious custom of marriage didn’t begin with gay marriage and won’t end with it.

Used to be the left questioned the institution of marriage. Now, they act like it’s the most important thing ever. How long will that last?

Oh well; can’t make logical arguments about marriage because there was never anything logical about it. Like having government regulate baptisms.

I’m against Rock the Vote. I don’t understand the benefits of encouraging idiots to vote.

Stephen King says it should take you 3 months to write a novel. I’m guessing George R.R. Martin goes by a different philosophy.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Wisdom of the Day: Call Dog License Pepper Eviscerate Lumps Videotape

Tuesday, October 7, 2014 5:00 pm

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Random Thoughts: Tolerance, Twin Peaks, and Play-Doh

Tuesday, October 7, 2014 9:15 am

More often than not now the language of tolerance is used for the purpose of exclusion.

Twin Peaks is returning. Maybe I should finally finish that 2nd season. Show sure went from awesome to meh quick.

Did the Native Americans try explaining to the European settlers that they’re in the wrong side of history?

It’s sad when you’re finally too old for Play-Doh and have to move on to Work-Doh.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Wisdom of the Day: Shrunk Comma Wonka

Monday, October 6, 2014 5:00 pm

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Random Thoughts: SJW, Birthday, and Taken 3

Monday, October 6, 2014 9:31 am

I’m just glad that none of the Professor Layton games ever had the puzzle “Fold a shirt.”

If a social justice warrior doesn’t publicly back-pat himself at least once per day, he’ll devolve into a racist, misogynist neanderthal.

My daughter’s 4th birthday is coming up and I haven’t thought of what to get her. How about a handshake and my respect?

I give it a 63% chance there is a ninja hanging from the ceiling of the White House right now.

Don’t want to sound like a conspiracy theorists, but Obama destroyed healthcare and gave us Ebola to keep us from looking into the moon landing.

Taken 3: The Search for Spock

“You just got tooked.” -Bob Takenowski, protagonist of Taken, upon shooting a guy

If you saw the Doctor Who Saturday night, it was a real tease, wasn’t it?

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)