Back when Steven Crowder was just some guy putting videos on YouTube, he did the Qur’an Challenge and got tons of death threats. And now he has a sequel: Jesus Versus Muhammad

[direct link]

Please don’t threaten Crowder with death.

BTW, still on parental leave because of the new little guy who sleeps all the time except when it is dark out. I’ll get back to my regular blogging… eventually.

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He was born last night, (the ultimatum worked). See you all later.

[Note from Harvey: This post will remain on top of the blog all weekend to give you a chance to celebrate & congratulate. Scroll down for new content.

Also, if you posted congratulations at your own blog, please drop a link to your post in the comments.]

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Holder: “The dog ate my recusal letter. The President ate the dog.”

— Cuffé (@CuffyMeh) May 15, 2013

The main function of the White House is apparently to read 3-day old newspapers.

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) May 15, 2013

Stop telling me that civil service people are “hard to fire.”That alone is a scandal…

— Ari Fleischer (@AriFleischer) May 15, 2013

Hot singles in your area are eager to hunt you for sport.

— Jason Miller (@longwall26) May 15, 2013

The olive oil store near my home: oil in stainless steel urns, hand written, pretentious placards. If only I could pay w/white-hot loathing.

— Michael J Nelson (@michaeljnelson) May 16, 2013

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Aw, have you seen poor little Obama lately? That special guy just seems so scared and confused about all the scandals going on. And he doesn’t know anything about any of them! I mean, he’s just the president; it’s not like its his job to know what’s going on with the government.

And Obama’s all like, “Well, I guess you’ll have to talk to the Attorney General, Eric Holder. Oh, he doesn’t know anything either. I guess you’ll have to talk to his supervisor. Wait, that’s me. I guess you’ll have to talk to my supervisor then. I think that’s Bush.”

And now some people are worried that all this incompetence and lack of accountability will cause people to lose faith in government. Of course, conservatives have always said we shouldn’t have faith in government because it will constantly fail, but no one believed us until we were smart enough to get a bunch of incompetent liberals elected to demonstrate it. Now we can just point at the Obama administration and say, “See. This is why you don’t trust the government to do things. Wait… what? You already turned health care over to it?! Idiots!”

And I bet Obama had big plans for his second term — probably all drawn out on construction paper with crayon and everything. Well, maybe he can turn things around and get a huge majority in Congress in 2014 and ram through his agenda again — that would probably finish the country off. More likely, though, Obama will just flounder around lamely for three and half more years. And that’s the best case scenario for the country right now.

But 2016 will come, and then I can be elected president. And I will not tolerate any scandals in government. If I hear of one guy doing something wrong in the IRS, I will blow up the entire headquarters. I will drone strike it. And by the end of my term as president, we will have built multiple new prisons just to hold all the politicians and bureaucrats I will be prosecuting. That’s my promise.

Frank J. 2016: Make them pay. Make them all pay.

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That’s it. We’re not waiting any longer. My son has until Friday morning to come out on his own or we’re going in after him.

Man, is he getting a stern talking to when I see him…

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Decided to try a red eye at Starbucks (espresso shots in coffee). Just tastes like coffee like how my dad used to make it.

They’re finally doing a Gremlins reboot? That seemed like the biggest no-brainer; I can’t believe it took this long.

It’s still a well-known franchise with lots of merchandising opportunity. Hard to believe there aren’t a dozen Gremlins movies by now.

Double secret recusal.

Somehow I’m getting the feeling the guy selling guns to Mexican drug cartels isn’t very trustworthy.

I just can’t understand how anyone could do what the Nazis did, but then again I did thumb up a Nickelback song on Pandora.

I’m just saying we’re all capable of horrible things.

I don’t trust anyone who trusts in government.

Maybe we could get more environmentalist on board with drilling if we just label crude oil as organic and pesticide free.

President Biden is going to be much more on top of things in 2017.

My son has until Friday morning to come out or we’re going in after him.

New Law: Politicians must inhale helium before speaking to further emphasize how we shouldn’t take any of them seriously.

Obama: “Please don’t politicize the government targeting Republicans.”

So, someone got fired for the IRS thing. But who is going to prison?

Conservatives are overreacting to all this. All their crazy, paranoid fears about government are only about 75% true.

Does there really exist people somewhere who watch Chris Matthews and says, “This guy is smart!”?

That’s as hard for me to understand as anyone who took Keith Olbermann seriously.

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“Don’t be so political!” – politician.

— Cuffé (@CuffyMeh) May 13, 2013

BREAKING! Obama Blames IRS Scandal On Anti-Accountant YouTube video

— Jeff Dunetz (@yidwithlid) May 13, 2013

You want better care for women? How about you subject Planned Parenthood to the same health standards as say, your local freaking nail salon

— Amanda Carpenter (@amandacarpenter) May 13, 2013

Jack Bauer has been gone for so long the 24 universe’s America must look like Cormac McCarthy’s The Road

— Peter B. Counter (@peterbcounter) May 13, 2013

Government is just the word we use for things we do together, like audit political enemies and monitor journalists’ phone calls.

— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) May 13, 2013

“Vengeance is mine,” saith the Lord. “Dibs on the leftovers,” saith the Batman.

— The Batman (@TheBatman) May 14, 2013

Soon, Obama will vow to get to the bottom of who’s currently running the executive branch.

— Kevin Eder (@keder) May 14, 2013

“Aw dude you JUST missed Iron Man he was here literally three seconds ago!” – Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD, every week

— Jon Lovett (@jonlovett) May 14, 2013

Did the IRS give The Human Fund extra scrutiny?

— Sean Hackbarth (@seanhackbarth) May 14, 2013

I write jokes but they never write back

— donni (@donni) May 14, 2013

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It is no secret I am very excited for the upcoming Axe Cop cartoon.

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He got three first degree murder convictions for murdering babies; stop saying this is all because his place was “unsanitary.” #Gosnell

If you want to talk about moral decay, just look at all the people who feel the need to gloss over infanticide.

You can rest assured that when a major scandal breaks in government, Obama knows nothing about it and is just as scared and confused as you are.

If we want the government to trust us we first have to show we trust it by giving it more money and power.

Not only am I against a gun registration, I’ve never been comfortable with the government knowing my income or even where I live.

I don’t even like the government knowing my Social Security number. That’s personal information.

“These people think the government is out to get them. Let’s get them!” -the government

So when is Bush’s term over and Obama finally takes responsibility for the presidency?

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Still not born!

We’re inducing Friday (which would be two week past due), so at least there is a time limit. Definitely baby by Friday.

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I think this IRS episode demonstrates that the left should focus on cleaning out all its extremists scum before worrying about the right.

Like anyone who cheers on the IRS targeting certain groups should not be a part of any mainstream movement.

Obama acknowledged Benghazi was an act of terror the day after and did it so forcefully none of us came away with that impression.

Obama did not have time to find out about the IRS; he’s too focused on jobs and the economy.

So the NYTimes has just completely given up on trying to not look like a bunch of political hacks, right?

You can’t trust politicians for anything so give them as little power as possible – can never understand why that is controversial.

Buttercup (2.5 yrs) can now draw kitties that actually look like kitties – on the furniture.

“Jews Get Fundraising Bonanza!” -first New York Times headline on the Holocaust

Gosnell found guilty of murder for three victims who never even got to have names.

I heard Obama arguing against the Born Alive Act saying he trusted abortion doctors to do the right thing without oversight. What a jackass.

We do need to get some clips of Obama arguing abortionists will quickly switch gears from killing to saving to play against Gosnell verdict.

he “pro-choice” side can’t express sympathy for the babies murdered because that would work against themselves.

If you feel the need to gloss over infanticide, you need to take a really hard look at your values.

Fun Science Fact: When an alive fetus is removed from the mother, the technical term for it is now “baby”.

Fun Legal Fact: It’s just as illegal to murder a baby as it is to murder you or me!

Fun Fact: Some cultures consider babies to be precious and try specifically to not get them murdered.

Time for someone to ask Obama what we’ll be doing to make sure there aren’t anymore Gosnell’s out there.

Technology cuts against abortion. We saw Buttercup at 10 weeks, moving her little arms, and we didn’t think “clump of cells.”

Wife is a week and a half past due with my son, BTW. Hope he’s worth the wait.

This is what happens when you don’t have an adversarial press. #VoteRepublicanForPresident

Obama should do a prime time address and give us all that “stop worrying about government tyranny!” speech he gave for OSU.

After Obamacare is fully implemented and gets really unpopular, we’ll hear it was all the idea of some low-level worker in Cincinnati.

All these scandals would really weigh on people’s opinions on Obama if they weren’t all so satisfied with the economy.

Going to have to drag a sobbing Carney out to the next press briefing.

I can just imagine Obama breaking down under tough questions at a press conference. “That’s it! You’re all audited!”

Someone get Jon Stewart to do a joke about the DOJ seizing the AP’s phone records to Obama will hear about it.

Obama going after the press? Talking about biting the hand that… I can’t think of non-dirty way to end that.

The media needs to break up from its abusive boyfriend before they get seriously hurt.

So what were we all worried about if Romney became president? Women being put in binders or something?

Maybe there aren’t many reasons to trust the government, but at least it isn’t murdering us… well, other than the targeted assassinations.

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…and so tired…

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My WH question: “Hey Jay – how about the president put on his big boy pants and answer our questions?”

— toddstarnes (@toddstarnes) May 10, 2013

Sample IRS form for Tea Party organization: YOU WILL TELL US ALL THE THINGS!!

— Mary Katharine Ham (@mkhammer) May 10, 2013

In the future, if any Tea Party group wants to dodge the regulators, just rent an office in a Philadelphia abortion clinic.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) May 11, 2013

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So the IRS is targeting conservatives.

Well, not the IRS. Low-level employees in Cincinnati. Because the IRS is structured such that any low-level employee can go on a personal political vendetta. Interns are ordering the audits of their neighbors all the time. That’s just how it is.

And it’s obviously no big deal because no disciplinary action was taken. But we can rest assured everyone involved learned an important life lesson.

So let’s move on.

Hmm… you don’t seem to have moved on. You still seem a bit angry and concerned about a government agency specifically being used to crush political opposition. Well, I hope you’re not being all paranoid about the government being out to get you. Obama recently warned some college graduates against being all worried about government tyranny, and Obama has good reason to warn you against that because worrying about government tyranny is the exact sort of thing that will get you audited. Or, when Obamacare is in full force, it will be the attitude that gets you denied life saving health care.

So have faith in government. Or it will get you.

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…is what I’d like to show you, but the only option for that is ultrasound. That baby is just not going to be born. I think I’m just going to go back to my life as normal and forget this whole “second baby” thing.

Then again, Buttercup decided to cry for no reason all last night so we’re both pretty sapped today, thus today would be the perfect day for labor.

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So low-level people can determine who the IRS targets? Sounds like a really poorly put together organization.

So how does the IRS work? Can like an intern launch an audit or something? How does this come from “low-level”?

We’re past the one week anniversary of my wife’s due date. Kinda given up. Don’t think he’s coming out.

“The Empire would like to apologize for the destruction of Aldreaan. That was the decision of a low-level employee in Cincinnati.”

My son better get born soon. He has lots of people’s Social Security and Medicare to pay for.

“Japan would like to apologize for the bombing of Pearl Harbor. That was the decision of a low-level employee in Chiba.”

I’m glad so much of the media will jump to the defense of the hapless President Obama. He’s such a special little guy.

All this scandal stuff has to be so scary for him.

What is the non-sleazy explanation to the off the record briefing with select reporters?

So Romney gave the stand down order?

So who is this “Bush” character? He like a Gremlin that lives in the White House walls or something?

We need some perp walks for this IRS thing.

The State Department says the stand order in Benghazi came from a low-level worker in Cincinnati.

So will the White House identify who came up with the YouTube nonsense so that person can be publicly mocked?

“I must brake you.” -Ivan Drago to a student driver who is losing control

So about what percentage of my tax dollars last year went towards making sure Obama was reelected?

Don’t be one of those nutso, paranoid people who think the government is out to get him or you will get audited.

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With special guest Andrew Klavan!

Still no baby

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Journalism is about covering important stories. With a pillow, until they stop moving.

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) May 9, 2013

Nickelodeon takes us back to a time when we were loved and covered in slime.

— ’80s Don Draper (@80sDonDraper) May 9, 2013

Almost corrected my daughter on her misspelling of “cray cray” but decided to shoot myself in the face instead.

— Mike Leffingwell (@mikeleffingwell) May 9, 2013

The entire population of Charlotte, North Carolina is people who missed their connecting flight and just gave up.

— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) May 9, 2013

Accidentally dropped a gummy bear in the trash can, then rescued it. Just like Taken.

— sammy rhodes (@prodigalsam) May 9, 2013

I assume you don’t do very well with the ladies if you call them “the ladies.”

— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) May 9, 2013

Pre-internet: “Did you see that guy on the news? Saved those women, said some funny stuff? Heh heh. Well, let’s get on with our lives.”

— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) May 9, 2013

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. Chicken, fish, or vegetable stir-fry, those are the options.

— Michael Kupperman (@MKupperman) May 9, 2013

Buffy the Vampire Slayer would have been a totally different show if they all had cell phones.

— Cole Stratton (@colestratton) May 9, 2013

Encouraging fish to stay in school

— donni (@donni) May 9, 2013

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Science answers on why there are no monkeys in North America. I just assumed it was because we our nation blessed by God.

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So the State Department has asked the creator of the 3D gun design to remove the blueprint from his site. Because, you know, you can totally block people from downloading something — especially by drawing attention to it with a government crackdown. Smart move, people. Totally got all that toothpaste back in the tube. Love how our government is basically filled with Einsteins — no matter where you turn, there’s a bureaucrat with crazy hair and a mustache. Like Einstein.

Well, 3D gun printing has been stopped now and forever. Anything else we should talk about? Benghazi? No? Hillary in 2016? Alright.

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