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Thursday, April 24, 2014 1:00 pm

The some new stories are now available to read at Liberty Island, and still go check out my story “Who Murdered the Dinosaurs?” if for some insane reason you haven’t yet.

Also, I wrote something over there a little while ago arguing that Batman is the greatest fictional character of all time and completely forgot about it.

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Random Thoughts: Commies, Fewer, and Elizabeth Warren

Thursday, April 24, 2014 9:00 am

Each year, fewer and fewer people get to experience the American Dream (strangling a Commie).

How can you expect us who grew up seeing “10 Items or Less” lanes to always remember the fewer/less distinction?

Let’s see if I can do this right: I have less esteem for people who freak out about mixing up the less/fewer distinction.

I’ll probably be in the top 1% one day; I just seem like that sort of guy. I’ll tell you what it’s like.

A platypus would be the ultimate proof of evolution if there was supposed to be a missing link between a duck and a badger.

Let’s all stop arguing which side are the real fascists and just do what I say before I put you all in prison.

You know who eliminated inequality? The Borg. It started with a minimum wage increase and eventually free will was eradicated.

Instead of wearing lab coats, why don’t scientists just turn up the lab’s thermostat?

When I was kid, I used to like to burn ants with a magnifying glass because they’re Communists.

If it we’re for the 2nd Amendment, we’d have only had 9 amendments. Which would be a weird number.

My dream is to be a very rich advocate against economic inequality.

I’d be for changing the 1st Amendment if we can clarify that whining is not speech and will get you deported.

Elizabeth Warren doesn’t want to end economic inequality. She’d stab you in the eye with a fork if you tried to make her live on your salary.

How are people not seeing that Elizabeth Warren is an obvious big phony? She’s John Edwards 2.0.

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Wisdom of the Day: Pony Ghost Sax

Wednesday, April 23, 2014 5:00 pm

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Random Thoughts: Earth Day, Intellectuals, and MST3K

Wednesday, April 23, 2014 9:00 am

If there was a study saying free speech is harmful, no one would listen to it… if you’re wondering why no one listens to your gun study.

The problem with all these racist things to fight racism is that none of them seem to have an exit strategy.

So Earth Day is the day we get all jingoistic about the planet we just happened to be born on. Whatever, idiots.

Mars is my favorite planet. Not Earth. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Earth doesn’t even make my top three.

Don’t tell Netflix, but yes I would pay quite a bit more than $7.99 a month for their service.

Don’t the angry, radical feminists know they’re going about attracting a man all wrong?

We can solve everything by just having the government push more people around.

We’re too afraid of failure anymore to risk that in order to achieve success.

There should be a special day where we only say nice things to each other on the internet. But only that day.

If white people are left unchecked, they could eventually gentrify the entire world.

So has anyone done a Twitter death hoax for someone who actually died years ago?

The supposed defenders of our rights in the courts are often profound idiots writing pages and pages on why 2 + 2 = 5.

Part of being an “intellectual.” Can’t be smart arguing 2+2=4 because everyone knows that, so you need to pick another position.

The Democrats will go wild in the presidential debates every time Hillary uses her rebuttal of, “What? Speak up, sonny.”

I guess MST3K isn’t for everyone. Not everyone gets… humor.

For instance, Data from Star Trek the Next Generation would be very confused by MST3K.

If climate change is so true, then how come the people most loudly warning about it are so full of crap?

I hope when Jack Bauer returns next month he has some ideas to get the economy going again.

I’m glad Ronald Reagan shot Lenin. That’s why we made him president.

Probably the most tragic presidential death was FDR, who a tearful Truman had to shoot to keep him from turning into a werewolf.

FACT: The Democrat Party was invented to destroy America from the inside. They failed with the Civil War; been more subtle since.

That is a FACT (all caps). No real historian disputes it.

FACT: You can only put the word “fact” in all caps if the fact is undisputed.

The one question libertarians never have a good answer to is if we don’t have a government, how are we going to fight the war on drugs?

There has actually been more instances of kids throwing knives at each other since they stopped teaching knife throwing in school.

You only ever hear about all the bad stuff Dr. Doom does, but apparently he’s a very sought after OBGYN.

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Wisdom of the Day: Lohan Blind Pictogram Baldwin

Tuesday, April 22, 2014 5:00 pm

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Random Thoughts: Hillary’s Age and Two Americas

Tuesday, April 22, 2014 9:00 am

Maybe we need to be a little more discriminating about what we’re tolerant about.

Hillary doesn’t look any older than what Senator Palpatine was when he ran for president.

If we split America into poor man’s America and rich man’s America, we could really reduce inequality within each of those two Americas.

Or did we already do that with the North/South America thing?

Gangsters ruined pinstriped suits. You can’t wear a pinstriped suit while holding a Tommy gun without someone thinking you’re a gangster.

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Wisdom of the Day: Teens Snacks Barista Soda Sermon

Monday, April 21, 2014 5:00 pm

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Random Thoughts: Literacy, Hillary, and Hitler

Monday, April 21, 2014 9:00 am

We have near 100% literacy, but long ago, literacy used to be rare. And I bet blog comment sections were a lot more intelligent back then.

What was the hard choice that Hillary made? Whether to stick with her sexually abusive husband because it helped her political career?

Paul Krugman considers carefully the opinions of everyone in his sensory deprivation chamber.

Hate it when you notice nails need trimming but forget to do it before you go out the door and spend rest of day feeling like Freddy Krueger

Pretty much everyone is an extremist. We shouldn’t trust anyone. Even ourselves. I have no idea what I’m talking about.

We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal and that Die Hard is a Christmas movie.

So it was global warming that caused the flood, and it wasn’t God that warned Noah about it but climate scientists.

He knew all your faults. All your failures. The darkness in your soul you never admitted to anyone. And His reaction was to die for you.

Science can find answers to all the questions except the important ones.

I shutdown my computer to try and be more productive, but it didn’t work at my programming job :(

I’m not sure how this will affect her presidential campaign, but doctors say Hillary Clinton is suffering from the early stages of oldness.

I wouldn’t want to be a king because then I’d just constantly worry about my crown molding.

Snowden seems like a bit of a useful idiot. I’m just not quite sure useful to whom.

Hillary would go into the presidential race with much more experience than Obama had at being a blank cipher.

I just looked up Hitler on Wikipedia and he was not a nice guy. I’m sorry I compared you all to him.

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Wisdom of the Day: Dance Crockett Drunks Friday Sword Strikes Hotline Intro

Friday, April 18, 2014 5:00 pm

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Soft Casualty

Friday, April 18, 2014 3:30 pm

Friend of IMAO, Mike Z. Williamson, has a free short story out set in his Freehold universe, so check it out.

So what good fiction have you guys been reading lately?

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Random Thoughts: Jeb Bush, Being Rational, and White Privilege

Friday, April 18, 2014 9:00 am

I think we’re on our way to “racist” becoming a meaningless epithet.

Jeb Bush may not run because of family issues, the main family issue being that his family is named “Bush.”

Hearing MMFA is in a conflict with SEIU over unionization, there is an urge to laugh and mock. There is no moral reason to resist this urge.

The left should spend less time arguing they’re the rational, reasonable ones and more time being rational and reasonable.

White privilege isn’t real; I tried jumping ahead of a bunch of minorities in line by yelling, “White privilege!” and it didn’t work at all.

I do get discounts at a lot of grocery stores just for being white, though. Or maybe it’s for having their savings card. I forget.

When whites are no longer the majority, we should team up with blacks to form a majority coalition and discriminate against the other races.

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Wisdom of the Day: Sofia Bird

Thursday, April 17, 2014 5:00 pm

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7 Questions with Frank J.

Thursday, April 17, 2014 2:30 pm

I have a profile up over at PJ Media about my influences as a fiction writer. Yes, I only have the one short story so far (and go read it if for some crazy reason you haven’t yet), but more is coming, I assure you.

So what do you all think of Liberty Island? I’m not always big on grouping by political persuasion where it’s not needed (such as in fiction writing), but it’s nice to have stories from authors you know don’t hate your guts because of your views on taxes, liberty, and small government.

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The Gospel According to Bloomberg

Thursday, April 17, 2014 12:19 pm

I have an article up at The Federalist: “The Gospel According to Bloomberg.” And I have to say, it’s a very Frank J. piece.

“We’ll just be frank with you,” said the Pharisees. “Maybe in one small coastal area of Israel you were actually the best possible prophet they could get — which is such a sad commentary that you’d think people should flee that place and not look back lest they turn into pillars of salt — but in middle Israel — you know, caravan-over country — everyone hates your guts. They think you’re an annoying, out-of-touch, arrogant little jerk. Do you understand?”

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Random Thoughts: Stolen Joke, Opposition to Abortion, and Mustaches

Thursday, April 17, 2014 9:00 am

How Frozen Should Have Ended is quite funny… because they stole my joke!

I’m the only possible person who could have come up with that joke.

I’d rant against income inequality for $25,000 a month.

Opposition to abortion stems from it involving ripping apart a tiny human. It’s not that hard to understand, really.

Pretending anything other than the dislike of ripping apart tiny humans is central to the opposition of abortion just makes you an idiot.

You can say, “I disagree that ripping apart tiny humans is a big deal,” but just understand that that’s central to the argument.

The main thing that distinguishes humans from the other apes is the ability to grow a mustache.

We’re going to spend $600 million on job training for the president? Will that be enough?

Evolution: “You may have thought dinosaurs were fearsome before, but now I’ve given them a few upgrades.”
*out walks a chicken*

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Random Thoughts: Bundy, Tax Collectors, and Being a Liberal

Wednesday, April 16, 2014 9:00 am

Not really sure why we need Vox’s explanatory journalism when we already have Media Matters and Jay Carney.

I had a Bachelors in Science, but then I got married.

I don’t really get the Bundy thing. Can’t he just hold his meetings of NO MA’AM somewhere else?

When the college tuition bubble bursts, we’ll have people holding up signs saying, “Will talk nonsense about race and gender for food.”

I consider the taxes taken from me as paying for my right to complain, and I will get my money’s worth.

The reason I like a mugger over a tax collector is that a mugger never acts like you’re supposed to thank him.

Steps to being a liberal:
1. Declare yourself the rational, reality-based one
2. Make only emotion-based arguments

There’s nothing sadder/cuter than an asylum for criminally insane babies.

Is there any good metric for measuring the military’a efficiency? Like dollars spent versus dollars of damage done?

So Mike Bloomberg knows as much about Christianity as he does about guns.

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Wisdom of the Day: Prison Thrones Doctor Hand

Tuesday, April 15, 2014 5:00 pm

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There’s No Such Thing as “Scientists”

Tuesday, April 15, 2014 11:30 am

In my new PJ Media column, I argue there are no such thing as scientists, and we should stop using the word.

It’s like if you wanted music for your wedding, and someone came up to you and said, “I know a guy. He’s a musician.”

“What instrument does he play?”

“He’s a musician.”

“Is he any good?”

“He’s a musician.”

You see, when other occupations are vaguely described, we know to ask questions, but because we have blind faith in science, such reason is lost when we hear the term “scientist.” Which is why I’m arguing that for the sake of better scientific understanding, we should get rid of the word and simply replace it with “some guy.”

Rand Simberg also has out recently a column on a similar subject, “We Are All Scientist”.

So, what do you think? Are scientist made up, or have you seen one before? Am I a scientist? How can I be sure? Is there a test I can take to prove it one way or another?

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Random Thoughts: Game of Thrones and Rich People Against Income Inequality

Tuesday, April 15, 2014 9:00 am

That Joffrey chap seemed pretty awful, but at least he never tried to mess with Westeros’s health care.

There’s so many characters in GoT and it’s often hard to distinguish them. For instance, there’s 3 different guys in it named Bob Sacamano.

According to a poll, 35% say Obama is mixed race, 22% say he’s black, and 43% say he’s an idiot.

Sad day for Arya/Joffrey shippers.

The secret to all the weird stuff in the Resident Evil games is to realize that everyone in it is constantly munching on “herbs.”

So has the Game of Thrones TV series gotten to the part with the creator of the ice wall, Elsa, or is that spoilers?

GoT TV show watchers won’t have to worry about spoilers after this season since there’s nothing in books 4 or 5 worth spoiling.

Bet people are going to be happy we never shut down Gitmo when they start discussing where to send that Dutch girl.

You will find little in this universe more dishonest than rich people denouncing income inequality.

“One Weird Trick to Make People Think You’re Weird and Tricky”

Marty McFly should’ve disappeared as soon as he ran into his parents in the past; alter timing even slightly, completely different children.

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Wisdom of the Day: Human Pics Clowns Couples Worked

Monday, April 14, 2014 5:00 pm

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