I know I said I wasn’t able to write anything funny today, but I decided I owe you, my readers, more of an explanation.
TOP TEN REASONS I DIDN’T HAVE A FUNNY POST TODAY
10. I was too busy with other projects to put the proper time behind a post (those videogames don’t play themselves).
9. I’m now a militant feminist and no longer find anything funny.
8. I was going to write a post about how stupid dirty, smelly hippies are, but then I got worried I might hurt the feelings of a stupid, dirty, smelly hippy.
7. I realized that politics is a serious topic, and should never be made light of.
6. A pink cardboard tank convinced me the war was wrong.
5. I’m too sad to write humor since Glenn Reynolds blended my puppy.
4. I got an obscenity and grammatical error filled hate mail that really made me rethink my positions.
3. A monkey done bit me!
2. I thought humorous posts would distract from my t-shirt sales. BTW, buy my t-shirt!
And the number one reason I didn’t have a funny post today…
Because I know you’ll visit anyway! Bwa ha ha ha!
Wow, usually in order to become super rich and famous you have to appreciate your clientele lol. Now write something damnit, or I’ll sick my rhesus on you! MuAHAHHAHahahah
http://www.theboywhocriediraq.com
Real muckadoo, commments can be sent by email, but not posted on the site 🙁
http://www.theboywhocriediraq.com
Real muckadoo, commments can be sent by email, but not posted on the site 🙁
Money line. LMAO.
George
The part that ticks me off is this is the funniest thing Frank has written this week. Man, I have to learn to not be so funny!
What gets me is that he’s right; I will visit anyway.
Veni, Vidi, Bitchi. I came, I saw, I bitched about this post.
Why do I still come here?
Old habits die hard, I guess.
I used to visit the puppy-blender first each morning but now I visit here and was despondent until I saw this post.
Thank you Frank J. my weekend is now made. Now if LSU can beat the monkey dung out of Ole Miss Saturday I’ll really be happy.
Well since Frank has gone all serious I guess I’ll have to put in a serious quote,
“War is a game that if their subjects were wise Kings would not play at.”
That’s what I like about Bush and Rumsfield, they aren’t playing around at it.
Political Correctness in Today’s Military
So what is happening to the Army? I was relatively sheltered by two tours in the SF, but I served in regular and somewhat integrated units like the 3rd ID, 82nd Airborne, and the 101st Airborne (as a reservist). When
I really liked that pink tank. If I’da known that Mary Kay was handing out pink tanks instead of pink cadillacs, I’d have been out selling the shit out of makeup!
This qualifies just fine.
hln
You suck. I hate you. I’ll never read you again, at least until tomorrow!
A Blast from the Past
Well, I’m trying something new–I’m posting before I read what everybody else wrote while I was working and sleeping. This means a) I’m out of the loop b) I’ll be linking to yesterday’s hot topics Whoo hoo! Of course, I may accidently stumble upon some…
Heheheh… you said “monkey”.
Wow, that extremely long-winded speech right there? Plus there’s CyborgAssasWhoever, or as I like to call him/her, “Captain Insano”, those are both hard acts to follow. I live in a country where freedom is not something the government gives me nor is it something granted to me by family, political party or church. In the country I live in, the whole system of government is based on the belief that freedom is something that you were born with. It comes with a heavy responsibility, though, because along with it there is an implied responsibility to respect the rights of other people, even if they disgust you, even if the very thought of their existence makes your skin crawl. Your right to do your thing stops when you begin interfering with their right to do their thing. And that’s really difficult to live with. It’s so much easier and simpler to let go of all rational thought and blame Them for your lot in life. It’s a lot easier to blame and punish Them than it is to deal with the possibility that your situation being screwed up might just be your fault and nobody else’s. And so, Captain Insano, I would like to say this to you and you can take it to the bank: You will reap what you sow, maybe now, maybe at the end of your life, but eventually. However, it’s not really my job to warn you about that- my responsibility and my choice as a free citizen is to ignore you even though you disgust me. I can do that in spite of my dislike for you, because I’m stronger than you.
What are teh Nazi’s doing here? Don’t they know I’m an honary Jew?
gee Frank, you have any bandwidth left after that?
On a more serious not, I like monkeys. Here are some of the reasons why Frank is wrong about our devolved cousins.
http://people.redhat.com/blizzard/monkeys.txt
Did anyone actually read that?
Not me. It said “French” multiple times, so that was a big clue that whoever wrote it was an idiot.
… 5,360 words of complete and utter drivel. i’ve never seen a comment box raped in such a way.
More comment box rapage:
Type in google: French Military Victories
Press: I’m Feeling Lucky
good day.
Here’s my response to the French speech. It’s found in the book, Killer Angels.
“He had grown up believing in America and the individual and it was a stronger faith than his faith in God. This was the land where no man had to bow. In this place at last a man could stand up free of the past, free of tradition, and blood ties and the curse of royalty and become what he wished to become. This was the first place on earth where the man mattered more than the state. True freedom had begun here and it would spread eventually over all the earth. But it had begun here. The fact of slavery upon this incredibly beautiful new clean earth was appalling, but more even than that was the horror of old Europe, the curse of nobility, which the South was transplanting to new soil. They were forming a new aristocrac, a new breed of glittering men, and Chamberlain had come to crush it. But he was fighting for the dignity of man and in that way he was fighting for himself. If men were equal in America, all these former Poles and English and Czechs and blacks, then they were equal everywhere, and there was really no such thing as foreigner; there were only free men and slaves. And so it was not even patriotism but a new faith. The Frenchman may fight for France, but the American fights for mankind, for freedom; for the people, not the land.” (p. 27)
I got about a thousand words into The Comment Box-Abusing Essay when I realized, “After all this time of foolishly promoting bourgeois Western “patriotism”, “religion” and “values”, this brilliant essay has shown me The True Path. It’s the antidote to all my questions and doubts! The True Path is The Path of The Burqa! Our only guide on the Path will be the French. Let go of your simplistic Western beliefs in defending the weak because there ARE no beliefs, there’s only an “antidote to overly ideological and moralistic views of the world”! Destroy all of my unnecessary guns! Let the “militant Islamic extremists” fly planes into buildings! Let them bomb Bali nightclubs, Israeli restaurants and Turkish mosques! Get all illegal foreign occupiers out of the Middle East so that men like Saddam Hussein can go back to doing what they like to the women and children of Iraq! It’s their culture! How do you know that your beliefs are right? You don’t, which means that you have to let them do whatever they want to whoever they want! Don’t interfere with their culture. Eventually, they’ll stop doing all of that when they see how eager we all are to peacefully co-exist with their version of Islam! I’m an American woman, and I’d like to encourage them in their fight for their beautiful culture against “Democracy” and “Freedom”, because I’d really like to encourage the continuation of a chain of events that will almost inevitably lead to my daughter or granddaughter spending her life in a burqa, or prison, if she should happen to smile at a shopkeeper or have a problem with her husband beating their children. Because of this essay, I realize it’s time to believe in nothing. I am now empty of all “ideology” and “moral values” and I am at peace with everybody everywhere. I now know that the warm, fuzzy feeling is all that matters and that War=Bad, no matter how much is at stake. And it’s all because I adopted the common-sense rules laid out for me by kindly European intellectuals! Thank you, Sophisticated Person-Or-Persons-Who-Wrote-That-Steaming-Pile-of-Brilliance. I fervently hope that those intellectuals can remember all of your excellent and values-free essay when the Soldiers of Wahabbism get to their door, and they will get to your door, because one of these days there might not be armies of American or British soldiers around to save your sorry ass. They’ll be off somewhere helping people who won’t spit in their faces.
Y’all, I just realized how long my last comment was. I was trying to be brief, but y’know, the moral-relativist intellectuals get me so mad, I got carried away. Dangit. LOL.
S. Wade, your last comment would be overly long ONLY if you dispensed with punctuation, capital letters, and spaces between words.:) And Frank J., are you setting us up for a gut-bustingly funny “In My World?”
I was going to fisk that long post, but I don’t think I have time to do a line-by-line, point-by-point refutation of it right now.
May I please be excused?