Q. What Do Glenn Reynolds and Frank J. Have in Common?

A. We both are horribly abusive to children and want to control women.
I guess that needs some explanation.
Prof. Reynolds mentioned there was a article in Wired magazine about him, and I checked it out to see if they asked any hard hitting questions about his energy drink preferences. Instead, it was a list of his favorite sites. Through some typographical error, IMAO was omitted, but one that was listed was Technorati. I had completely forgotten about that site, relying on trackback pings to find out who is talking about me.
Anyhoo, I plugged imao.us into Technorati and found a blog called “A TCS Blog” that had this to say:

Attachment Parenting is excellent and quite TCS with regards to infants. And when Alice or Camille support it, they are very quick to mention the aspects of it which they disagree with. When providing links to Instapundit or IMAO, however, they rarely add qualifiers like “Just try to ignore the fact that he’s horribly abusive to children and wants to control women.”

To which I say, “Gwa?”
And what is TCS?
Actually, I know a little bit about it since, incidentally, Camille chastised me a long time ago about a post she thought was demeaning to children (I think this was the post).
Well, I’m not sure what Dan of A TCS Blog really means, so I do not yet cry “muckadoo”, but I would like to clarify my position on women and children:
I would very much like to control women (who wouldn’t?), but they are way too moody and emotional for that. Also, I think children are stupid and should be demeaned and patronized. If you think that is abuse – whatever; I don’t care. I was once a child, so I know from experience they are very dumb. If it weren’t for my parents patronizing me and talking down to me, I’d have probably stuck my fingers in an electrical socket while drinking sweet, sweet Drano. Actually, I think anyone younger than me is dumb and should be looked down upon intellectually. You hear that, 23 year olds? You’re dumb.
If those views offend anyone who believes in TCS, well, TS.
Sometimes I don’t care if anyone else finds this funny; I crack myself up.

Top Ten Ways Bush Could Lose the Election

It’s not a shoe-in that Bush will be elected president once again, so I’d thought I’d list what could most likely throw off his campaign.
TOP TEN WAYS BUSH COULD LOSE THE ELECTION
10. New double-butterfly ballot causes stupid voters to accidentally vote for who they meant to vote for.
9. For his T.V. spots, he hires the people who did those original Mentos commercials.
8. Is unable to prove that that prostitute was already dead before he got there.
7. Loses conservative base by increasing spending, raising taxes, and aborting every baby in sight.
6. Before the election, he fails to find WMD’s, Osama bin Laden, and pants.
5. Finally convinces everyone there are no similarities between him and Hitler just before Hitler has a huge popularity boost.
4. Alienates Catholic voters by murdering the pope.
3. It’s revealed he is an illegal immigrant and is deported to Mexico.
2. Loses his loveable dumb guy image by curing cancer.
1. Starts new space program; sends men to wrong moon.

A Message for the Kids

Don’t smoke crack.
This message was for the kids; adults can ignore.

Bite-Sized Wisdom: Pick Someone Already, My Presidential Campaign, Angry Knowledge Seekers, and Dennis Miller and His Monkey

  • Man, I’m getting tired with all this, ya know, political news. Why can’t the Democrats just nominate some jerk-off and get it over with; I want to know who to focus my energies on. I still hope Dean can pull through; I’d really like it if the election is a landslide for Bush. Then it would be funny if, after he is reelected, to just piss of the wacky left he comes out and says, “Everyone is right – I am Hitler! And there is nothing you can do about it! Muh ha ha ha!”
  • If, God forbid, Bush isn’t reelected, then what happens to In My World™? I’m scared.
  • Amazon.com allows you to donate to candidates now, both ones with a chance and wacky fringe candidates. They list them all, though not all of them have signed up (you can’t donate to Bush through Amazon; they just refer you to Bush’s website). I wonder if I can get on there? I’m planning a presidential run for 2016, and it’s never too early to start on getting the donations.
    Man, I just hope all terrorists aren’t dead by then; then the presidency would be boring. Oh, and no one better bomb France until I get into power; they’re mine.
  • I don’t control search engine rankings, but that doesn’t keep people from getting angry at me. Usually, if I’m looking something up and find a website that doesn’t have the information I need, I just move on. But, apparently some people like to stop and further waste their time by complaining. A great example is this post of mine which it seems a lot of people trying to research types of governments runs into. Look at all the complaining dinguses.
    I especially like the people who write in the comment section what information they were looking for, like someone is going to magically accommodate them. Man, computers have gotten too easy to use. I liked it back in the good ole days when the average man feared computers like the early caveman feared the cuisinart.
  • Dennis Miller is getting a show on CNBC. I like his politics, and am learned enough to understand about half his jokes, but I question the idea to have a monkey on his show, running around to keep his guests on their toes. If I were his guest, though, he’d soon hear, “Hey, Dennis, your monkey is dead.”
    “What! How did he die?”
    “Natural causes… ME!”
  • Sorry, I only had like ten minutes to write something today. Maybe I’ll have more at lunchtime. Either way, something longer for tomorrow. Peace, yo.