It’s not a shoe-in that Bush will be elected president once again, so I’d thought I’d list what could most likely throw off his campaign.
TOP TEN WAYS BUSH COULD LOSE THE ELECTION
10. New double-butterfly ballot causes stupid voters to accidentally vote for who they meant to vote for.
9. For his T.V. spots, he hires the people who did those original Mentos commercials.
8. Is unable to prove that that prostitute was already dead before he got there.
7. Loses conservative base by increasing spending, raising taxes, and aborting every baby in sight.
6. Before the election, he fails to find WMD’s, Osama bin Laden, and pants.
5. Finally convinces everyone there are no similarities between him and Hitler just before Hitler has a huge popularity boost.
4. Alienates Catholic voters by murdering the pope.
3. It’s revealed he is an illegal immigrant and is deported to Mexico.
2. Loses his loveable dumb guy image by curing cancer.
1. Starts new space program; sends men to wrong moon.
It’s not a shoe-in that Bush will be elected president once again
Or even for the first time.
Move on.
#3- so that why he proposed the amnesty for illegal aliens already in the US that have jobs- he’s safe!
#2- cancer affects everyone, so Bush ignores the poor and disadvantaged- he would have to cure AIDS, a more socially acceptable disease.
#1- Come on! Everyone knows there is only one moon!
#9- Mentos ROCKS! Though the commercial did suck.
#6- He doesn’t need pants- he is always standing in back of a podium-and who knows who is hiding underneath it? Where is Monica Lewinsky when you need her?
Phile, for #3, I was going to work that in, but it was too wordy.
I did – that’s why I can’t wait to vote President Hastert out of office.
25 reasons why Bush sucks – better.
Reason – I wrote it.
#5 and #2 – made me laugh hard.
The D’s count all their primary votes plus the general election votes plus a few stray Oscar and Golden Globe votes, subtract all the military votes from Iraq, and have a Florida judge certify the election.
Prescott Bush (President’s Grandfather) financed Hitler into power from 1922 onwards and had his assets confiscated by the US Government in 1942 under the Trading with the Enemy Act. That was Prescott Bush’s contribution to 54 million deaths.
There are similarities between Hitler invading Poland and Bush invading Iraq:
1. Each happened simply because just one warmonger politician decided to invade.
2. Both events had the Bushes behind it (Hitler had Prescott Bush from 1922)
3. Hitler only invaded Poland once, and killed less Poles than Dad Bush killed Iraqis. (Dad killed 200,000 in the war, 1.5million with sanctions – UNICEF)
4. Both Hitler and Bush chose a defencess nation to attack. (The Iraqis could never attack America, can’t and never have killed Americans)
5. Both Bush and Hitler own the world’s biggest military machines. (There over 1,000 times more Weapons of Mass Destruction in the USA; isn’t that where the Weapons Inspectors should be sent?)
6. Both Hilter and Bush seized power by usurping the electoral process. (Bush brothers destroyed 250,000 Democratic votes in 4 electoral frauds in Florida, declared “W” the winner by 537 votes.)
7. Hitler and Bush gave fake reasons to invade. (Saddam Hussein has never been in partnership with bin Laden). But the Bushes and bin Ladens have been business partners for 24 years. The bin Ladens were the first investors in GW Bush’s first company, Arbusto in 1978 and are still joint owners of The Carlyle Group, a multi billion dollar weapons company which the Bushes built up with corrupt government contacts.
8. Freedom in Germany and the USA had been denied before the attack (This time it’s Bush’s cynically named USA Patriot Act which nullifies the Bill of Rights of 1791. Both Hitler and Bush imprison people without trial.)
9. Both Hitler and the Bushes show stunning cruelty. (Dad Bush dropped depleted uranium “dirty bombs;” now thousands of Iraqis are dying horrible deaths of radiation poisoning.)
10. The populations of both Germany and the USA were indoctrinated by the govenment (Carl Rove with 24/7 “news” has duped Americans into believing they are “under threat” and war is “inevitable”)
11. Hitler and Bush both keep their populations subdued with brutality. (GW Bush faced 7 legal cases (eventual impeachment?) for electoral fraud in Florida. That was Bush’s motive to bring down the World Trade on 9/11. He said his junior business partner Osama did it, which is unbelievable – he should have resigned at that point if only for his connections to Osama.)
12. Both wars could have been prevented simply by arresting the President of the invading country and prosecuting him for election fraud and war crimes. (GW Bush has killed 10,000 innocent Afghans).
War is only inevitable while Bush is President. We will be at war for as long as Bush is President.
If Carl Rove continues to fool the American people and Bush serves two terms, he will destroy the foreign-debt ridden American economy for all time. (He will probably also kill more than the total of 4.73 million people his Dad did, but Americans don’t know about that – their press is censored for foreign news.)
And remember the USA orgainsed the 1963 coup which put Saddam Hussein’s brutal Bathist party in power, and the USA and Britain financed and armed Hussein every step of the way. All the killing around Iraq has been done by the USA or is the responsibility of the USA. It is up to the USA to remove Bush first, as Dubya is the real threat and killer, then remove Saddam the way it put him in, ie a coup, not a war.
The previous comment was long; someone summarize!
Sticky B:
You could just have the oh-so-lovable 9th Circuit courts certify it. I mean, sure, they are better equipped to interpret such a thing, since they can reinterpret the Constitution to say that the 2nd Amendment does not guarentee the right to bare arms. Or is it the right to arm bears? Keep your ands off my guns, you filthy hippies! And my bears.
Sorry Frank- in an attempt to summarize poster von Busch’s eclectic comments, the ship’s computer overloaded- the screen keeps flashing GIGO GIGO GIGO
Morphius Kane- you mean I can’t wear short sleeve shirts any more?? Oh the pain!! The agony!!
That was a long comment up there. It is obvious that some people don’t understand that if the Iraqis didn’t want the US to invade they should have smacked the US around and it made it their bitch. They didn’t do it so now Iraq is the bitch. It’s all in the politics.
So don’t vote for Bush’s grandfather in the 2004 election and you’ll be fine. The rest of that comment was weird paranoid nonsense with no basis on reality.
I’ll summarize, well not really. I’ll just retort for each number.
1. Hussein has used WMD’s before, showing the capacity to use them, make them, and buy them. Bush has never used WMD’s, even though he has them. As for warmongering, if you think going to war to liberate a people is wrong, go to Canada, you communist hippy shit.
2. Grand-dad isn’t this Bush. Try again.
3. Hitler was responsible for 6 million deaths of Jews, alone. Not to mention Poles(which i think your number is a bit low) Russians, Czechs, etc. French don’t count.
4. Hitler attacked Poland and Russia. Both are defendable. France doesn’t count.
5. You are admitting to Iraq having WMD’s. Thanks. And nobody is denying we have them.
6. Hitler never usurped. He murdered the Prime Minister after being elected Chancellor. Gore lost. Get over it.
7. Refer to Question 1.
8. If a person isn’t planning to bomb our country, they shouldn’t have to fear the Patriot act.
9. Bush, sr. never dropped Dirty Bombs on Iraq. You have a skewed view of reality.
10. A liberal media is more dangerous than Carl Rove. Instead of stuff that matters, they report sob stories.
11. Bush didn’t orchistrate 9/11, you traitorous whore.
12. No such thing as an innocent Afghan.
Unfortunately in this country, the guy with the most VOTES does not win. We have to let a few hundred old, white haired men cast their electoral vote. The main thing that will hold Bush back from winning is a lack of a plan for controlling federal spending and his retreating on the WMD issue.
Re: Prescott Bush and Hitler –
OK, then dump all of the Kennedys; the old man, Joe, was drug runner who made his fortune selling illegal booze (a drug) to US citizens during Prohibition. How many lives has illegal (and legal) alcohol taken?
The election will be close and the Bushes have a tradition of lost opportunities.
Pre$$cott Von Busch = Pre$$cott Von Poop
Sorry… Sometimes it’s appropriate to be childish.
Chris
Yes I am on the alliance now. Thanks Frank. Now I have to actually do work
re: pu$$y von douchebag
1. “warmonger”? Being from Texas, I consider that a compliment. Try something more harsh if you intend to insult. I find being called a “peace activist” is quite insulting.
2. “bushes”? So what if Prescott financed Hitler before hitler went bonkers and started killing everyone. Thinking there is a tie between these events is absurd.
3. Sounds like you’re trying to make hitler sound like less of a bad person. Nice to see who you sympathize with.
4. “Defenseless Nation”? Those exist? Outside of france? Oh wait, france has WMD too (nukes and armpits). I didn’t know people from Poland were blind unarmed quad-amputee midgets. Apparently poland’s motto wasn’t “from my cold dead stumps”.
5. Hitler owns jack and shit, and jack left town in 1945. I’ll let you guess what hitler owns now. Bush doesn’t “own” the military, he commands it.
6. You sound like you have “inside” information about this. From “inside” your ass, that is. (half a dozen recounts later…. Bush won.. GET OVER IT…)
7. Fake reasons? Hussein is fake? Wait a second.. This blabbering sounds familiar… HEY! I know who you are! You’re Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf!
8. You really think the government needs a patriot act or two to do what they need to do? Those just make it more public and easier for them in the long run. Heres a tip: don’t do anything to threaten this country or it’s society and the government wont bust down your door and kick your ass. At least with the patriot acts, you wont be entirely surprised when the Gov busts in and breaks up your pinko commie scheming.
9. There were NO dirty bombs dropped on Iraq in Gulf War 1. You thinking DU is so radioactive to cause cancer/deformations shows you are just relaying crap you heard elsewhere by other nutballs. Say it with me. DEPLETED Uranium. DU is meant for extreme penetration of targets, it has very very very little radioactive properties, only enough to not be inert. Yes… DU is dangerous… If its propelled through your torso… But believe me, it aint cancer thats gonna cause that death… Ever think that Saddam’s chemical tests was what was causing the problems? The whole DU argument is like saying lead bullets are making iraqi children impotent by shooting over there, and then saying its caused by a “dirty bomb”. DU isn’t a common factor in cancers/”Gulf War Syndrome”/etc. “GWS” isn’t limited to just iraq, or other places DU was used. Its just the same old unproven crap enviro extremists like to rave on about.
10. As long as a foreign country or it’s people endorse by a large margin the “kill all amerikkkans and JOOOOOOOS!” sentiment, indoctrination isn’t needed to believe we are under threat. War is always inevitable. Personally, I don’t believe peace has ever, or will ever exist. Much like your brain. It just. Doesn’t. Exist.
11. Bush subdues his people with brutality? I met Bush while he was Gov here in Texas. He didn’t tackle me, tie me up, and torture me with a cattle prod. He was the nicest guy I’ve ever met, and even shook my hand. He didn’t even have one of those little trick electric buzzer rings. Brutality? I just don’t see it anywhere. I feel sorry for people like you that think so. Actually, that was a lie, I don’t feel sorry for slimy disgusting buckets of regurgitated monkey puss like you.
12. 10,000 innocent afghan sweaters, you mean? I wish liberals would stop including enemies and terrorists in their body counts. Same as with the anti-gun crowd grouping 21 year old and under gang members into their “children killed by guns” numbers.
“war is only inevitable when blah blah blah, drivel drivel drivel”
No, fool! Look at the world around you! We will be at war as long as there are people who wish to make war against us. This just didn’t start happening overnight. Its us or them, live or die, kill or be killed. Welcome to REALITY.
“Foreign debt”? HOW DARE YOU… America has helped more people around the globe than any other country…. We have done things for other countries that they CANNOT REPAY…. We have made achievements other countries COULD NOT ACHIEVE… We have advanced technologies other countries DID NOT CONCEIVE…
Frank, you really need to try and find an auto-commie-drivel-blocker module for MovableType.
Duke…. that was awesome. Puts my retorts to shame. I have been properly chastised.
summary:
I like heroin and chicken wings.
My favorite chicken wings are the depleted ones. mmmmm…DCW….
Here’s a similarity between Bush and Hitler: THEY’RE BOTH BLOODY SOCIALISTS!!!!!
Where’s a REAL conservative when ya need one?
Mentos? Ovaltine.
Yeah, those commercials suck too.
Pre$$kott von Busch is a genius, and his comment was a work of art. I may print it out and place it on the wall in my study.
OK, it’s well documented that the real Prescott Bush sold patents for devices later used in German military vehicles, and even in Auschwitz and other death camps…did I say death camps? I meant “happy camps.”
He deserved to be sent to Jerusalem, 1948, which is a lot worse than the wrist-slap he actually got.
I’m not even voting for Bush, and I fail to see the relevance of what his grandfather did. My great-great-great grandfather was Nathan Bedford Forrest, but I’m married to a black woman. Bad spin — that’s all that crap is. There’s enough bad relevant things to say about the President’s administration without maligning a man’s dead grandfather.
Dumb site. Bush is going to win because americans are dumb, and love a body bag measured their size and fit.