For someone as smart as me, sometimes the English language is lacking and I have to come up with my own words. Such is the case for all the hateful idiots who follow people like Michael Moore and Noam Chomsky, blindly hating everyhting Bush does and enraptured in their own self-importance. To them, Bush is worse than any murderous dictator, and for losing their humanity in their supreme partisanship, I deem them muckadoos (monkey see; monkey do – muckadoo).
So would a muckadoo know he or she is a muckadoo? Probably not. So, out of the generosity of my own heart, here are way you can tell if you are a muckadoo.
YOU MIGHT BE A MUCKADOO IF…
* …protesting blowing up terrorists hideouts with the slogan “No Blood for Oil” makes some sort of sense to you.
* …you think describing Michael Moore as a corpulent, hideous, foul smelling, pig excrement in human form is a slight mischaracterization.
* …you at the same time think Bush has the intelligence of a Chimp and is successfully heading a huge conspiracy to steal the world’s oil.
* …you excitedly scan the news each morning in hopes of finding more deaths in Iraq to publicly show grief for.
* …you consider yourself political even though you don’t follow many news sources but are very good at yelling things and waving signs.
* …when listening to Noam Chomsky, anything other thought than “What a pompous retard!” pops into your head.
* …you think toppling evil regimes is never worth the costs of having Republicans elected.
* …you think Bush is just like Hitler because… well… Hitler is bad and Bush is bad… because… of… uh… stuff.
* …you can’t stand watching CNN because of its extreme rightwing tilt of letting a Republican speak every so often.
* …you think France is better than America in anything.
* …you think we should try and understand terrorists but anyone with different political viewpoints than you should be shouted down.
* …you sincerely believe there are no more than six degrees of separation between anything bad that happens in this world and Karl Rove.
* …you think there are other root causes to terrorism other than all terrorists ain’t dead yet.
* …you believe Cheney and Halliburton are a great threat to this world while “insurgents” chopping people’s head off are understandable.
* …you’re filled with hate right now.
* …you think anyone who disagrees with you is a Nazi and should be rounded up and placed in camps.
* …you come to this site to seriously debate issues.
* …you blame everything on America but, for some reason, just won’t f’n leave.
* …seeing a smiling Iraqi child causes you pangs of anger.
* …every time Rumsfeld appears on T.V., you wet your pants.
* …you understand terrorists’ “anger” but can’t figure out why anyone would vote for Bush.
* …you think your opponents are racist while professing that democracy could just never work for those “brown people.”
* …you are enraptured by Ted Kennedy’s ginormous head.
* …when you see people cheering children getting blown up, you don’t immediately exclaim, “Waste the motherf**kers!”
*…when asked what you would like to hit Ted Rall in the face with, you answer, “Nothing.”
* …anytime you want a reasoned discussion of an issue, you go to Democratic Underground.
* …you’re verbally shouting responses to this list.
Muckadoo’s will run from facts and hold tightly to innuendo and accusations. I would add Michael Moore to this but there is no freakin’ way to hold onto that guy/pig/mutant/jabba.
Best. List. Ever.
“* …every time Rumsfeld appears on T.V., you wet your pants.”
I’ll try to keep that in mind if I see him in October.
Thanks for the list Frank. Made my morning.
“…when asked what you would like to hit Ted Rall in the face with, you answer, “Nothing.”
Personally, I’d just kick his miniscular testicles until he died of complications.
My something was wrong with my radio this morning but the translator for Saddam said that in his defense saddam said ‘Bush is the real criminal. He was selected not elected. Bush is worse than Hitler.’ So if Bush loses, Who wins?
Muckadoo About Nothing?
Frank J., over at IMAO, spells out how to tell a muckadoo from a normal, sane person. He even tells you what a muckadoo is. What? You don’t know what one is? Muckadoo. YOU MIGHT BE A MUCKADOO IF… *
So true, and yet, so funny…
excellent.
it’s funny because it’s true.
…you think France is better than America in anything.
I was thinking what about bad smells?
Then I remembered traveling on bus between Dallas and San Antonio one summer night. I’m pretty sure I heard chickens on that bus.
SIX degrees of separation? I’m sure it’s MUCH closer than that!!!!!
sarc/
‘they come to this site to seriously debate issues’
I got muckadooed here last week! Some muckadoo called me a barbarian! I was so proud! Thanks for the opportunity Frank! You rule!
“…you think describing Michael Moore as a corpulent, hideous, foul smelling, pig excrement in human form is a slight mischaracterization.”
I think that’s a mischaracterization. I don’t think “human form” is accurate or appropriate, as it demeans humans. Am I a muckadoo?
Not at all. You’re a clarificationizer.
great list Frank! It should be on a T-shirt! But muckadoo seems like to nice a name. Not insulting enough. I don’t want to have to explain to them how they are being punked.
How can we make it even more clear, so they are left stuttering incoherently as they read the back of my t-shirt?
I would like it to be like a muckadoo geiger counter. You can immediately identify even covertly disguised muckadoos because upon seeing the shirt they are immediately racked by such a fit that collapse to the floor twitching, drooling and repeating over and over…
“save us Hitlary. Please, please save us!”
Then everyone else could identify them and kick them.
Great list though
“…you’re filled with hate right now.”
Does that make Chomps a muckadoo? Ha! Beat you at your own game, Frankie boy. I’m good at intellectualizing and, uh, stuff.
Second the t-shirt!
keith,
World’s angriest dog, not hate-filled dog.
Muckadoo About Nothing…
Uh-oh. Maybe I’m a muckadoo. I think they’re better at surrendering.
Great list. Expect a sudden influx of muckadoos as all of us send this to the people who it will make the maddest.
I have a feeling this thread will showcase this best example of muckadoo-ness
You might be a muckadoo if you wish the right would stop making fun of Michael Moore’s. It’s not his fault he’s fat.. wait, yet it is.
You read a Michael Moore book and had to look up some of the two syllable words.
You think that terrorists are mean because they grew up in poverty and despair, even though the middle east has more oil than sand.
You think moving your lips while you read makes you look like you’re thinking.
… if you have supplies for making protest signs in your basement.
They don’t call you nazi. They call you Fascist. Then they suggest you should be rounded up.
http://www.activistsandiego.org/wwwboard/viewtopic.php?p=20137#20137
There is a fun thread if you ever want to get the WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY THINKING bug in your head.
wow….upon reading this list, i realize that i know at least a few dozen muckadoos.
Whoops… For some reason I read:
* …protesting blowing up terrorists hideouts with the slogan “No Blood for Oil” makes some sort of sense to you.
as something along the lines of, “Blowing up protesters with no blood for oil slogans makes sense to you.” That was a tense moment as I wondered if Frank was calling me a muckadoo.
I also want to put people who disagree with me in camps, but I don’t call them nazis because they’re obviously communists.
Frank remains a genius.
I keep trying to tell people how wise he is, but they keep not listening. Then again, some of these people in a CA, so that’s a lost cause.
Why are all my friends liberals? It makes me sad.
Look at it this way: between the homosexuals and the abortionists, Liberalism should be natural selected out of the gene pool before your grandchildren have to deal with them.
Sadly, the irony was likely lost on all the muckadoos.
If you spell-check FrankJ you might be a muckadoo.
I have read the list… I have given it some thought… I live in a city full of muckadoos! It’s a horrible realization, but a sobering one.
Look at it this way: between the homosexuals and the abortionists, Liberalism should be natural selected out of the gene pool before your grandchildren have to deal with them.
Not all us homos are liberals/abortionists. Go read Andrewsullivan.com, although he’s been getting a little wishy-washy Euro-Tory for me lately…
Thats hillarious frank! I got in a debate with my sister (a Berkley grad who lives in SF) about Chomsky this morning. Come on to IMAO and bam! My point is vindicated. LOL! Keep up the good work!
“And expressing hated for hatemongers is not the same thing as hatemongers expressing hatred for perfectly innocent people. You inability, and the inability of others on this board, to make this simple distinction is a constant source of wonder and amusment.”
Yeah, these muckadoos certainly are twisted! Hating is bad, mkay? So if you see someone hating, you should hate them, mkay? Because hating is bad, mkay?
what morons. Sad that this is what liberalism does to one’s brain.
some points
i have come around and generally like bullet points. also, i generally like frankj. however, he put up a list about muckadoos that i can’t quite support. yes, i do have better things to do, but i don’t care to do them right now, so instead we’ll get a …
M is for Muckadoo
Frank J. of IMAO has coined a new term to describe "hateful idiots who follow people like Michael Moore and Noam Chomsky, blindly hating everything Bush does and enraptured in their own self-importance". He calls them muckadoo’s. For exampl
Death, from above. Lazer-fry the muckadoos!!
Frank,
I just submitted the word muckadoo to urbandictionary.com
They did not have a single definition for muckadoo.
Hopefully they accept it, then you will be famous-er.
This is the confirm page, so you can look at the definition.
I stayed true to your definition, sir.
Not to worry.
-Joshua
I’m just browsing around your site for the first time, interesting read
Parler vouz francais?
I stumbled on this from Google and wanted to say hello
Is this like a guestbook?
Interesting thoughts.