In the wake of the Virginia Tech shootings, I’ve seen a lot of people putting the blame on guns. “We need more gun control laws”, they say… “If we didn’t have so many guns in this country, this never would’ve happened”, they say… “Stupid Second Amendment! I’ll get you for this!” they say.
Slow down there, Sparky! The fact is, guns were already prohibited on the Virginia Tech campus. Having another anti-gun law would be as pointless as outlawing murder, and I don’t hear anybody calling for that.
The truth is that these anti-gun wackos are barking up the wrong constitutional doctrine. The problem lies with the First Amendment, not the Second.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with speeching and pressing and religioning and redressing. It’s that assembling thing that makes these killing sprees possible. When people get together in large groups, all they’re really doing is providing an irresistable target-rich environment, enticing psychopaths to start blasting away. It’s like wearing a short skirt and skimpy top while walking down a street – might as well hand out engraved invitations.
Oh, I know what you’re going to say. “We need the right of assembly. Groups of angry citizens mobbing together is one of the last lines of defense against a tyrannical government that oversteps it’s bounds”.
Feh.
Worked really good for the Chinese in Tiananmen Square, didn’t it? What are you going to do? Stop a tank by standing in front of it holding a couple shopping bags? That might’ve worked 200 years ago, but tanks were much smaller then.
The fact is, freedom of assembly is just an archaic holdover from a bygone era. In today’s modern age, people have NO REASON to physically get together in large groups. Technology has provided us with e-mail, and telephones, and blogs, and on-line shopping. Everything that used to require physical proximity can now be accomplished virtually. The problem is that our Consitution is just as archaic as the ridiculous “freedom” it enshrines. It needs to be updated to reflect modern realities.
However, Constitutional amendments are notoriously hard to pass (heck the last one took over 200 years), and the fact is, we don’t need to do away with public assembly COMPLETELY – be kinda hard to get laid that way – we just need to modify our outdated notions a bit, and live within a more reasonable framework of interpersonal gathering modalities. You know, pass a few prudent laws that sensibly restrict, rather than repeal.
For example, it’s tragically obvious at this point that allowing people to assemble for the purpose of education has – without exception – ended in mass murder every time it’s been tried. Why not have virtual classrooms? Each student and teacher securely locked away in their own homes, learning via some sort of Skype & Webcam arrangement? Can’t have a school shooting without a school, and no one’s ever been murdered in the safety of their own home. If only we as a nation had taken this logical and obvious approach earlier! How many lives would’ve been saved?
Of course, this is only a first step. The sad fact is that other forms of assembly would remain to be dealt with. Work places, malls, parks, orgies, Tupperware parties… all knowingly flaunting their tempting, shootable flesh, driving the disturbed among us mad with unquenchable desire… eventually something would have to be done about those, too. Maybe some judicious amendment-editing IS in order. Even a simple addition like “right of the people peaceably to assemble – one to a room” might be enough.
Anyway, thank you for reading, and please support this common sense approach to tragedy prevention.
Harvey is a non-disabled Navy veteran accidentally hired to fill an affirmative action quota at IMAO.us. He is also the author of such books as “Get Out of Here! This Is MY Room!” and “Should the Right To Assemble Include C++?”.
