Don’t forget to vote for your favorite pres. candidate FRED THOMPSON on the Pajamas Media straw poll thingie over there on the left sidebar. No, your other left.
Also, if you are so inclined. there’s a website to get involved in the grassroots effort to elect everyone’s favorite super human, Fred Thompson, to the office of POTUS.

The only thing she ever wanted to fight is a price increase at the hair salon.

The Democrats seem to be getting increasingly apoplectic about getting the war over with before election season. Since the war is so unpopular, you’d think they’d want it around to campaign against.
But then you’d be wrong and stupid.
The fact is war is a serious thing, and the last thing Democrats need during a presidential election is a reminder that there are serious things in the world. Their issues are things like healthcare and minimum wage — things that we are now convinced are very very important even though the human race has survived without them for thousands of years. In fact, the entire Democrat platform is of similarly unserious things. Important things like killing bad people — a function of government dating back to first ant colony — is not something they ever want to have to deal with. Barack Obama is pissing his pants right now over the idea that, if he wins the presidency, the first things he’ll have to deal with is an actual war. They want to be like Europe: Concerned about useless things and looking civilized until they are inevitably overthrown by barbarians.
So expect increasingly desperate measures to get rid of the war before 2008. They want things to be like 1992 when Americans were carefree, ignorant of evil, and thought they could indulge themselves by electing a lecherous hillbilly who promised them shiny baubles. Don’t worry, Democrats, we’ll get there again one day; some more scary people just need to die first.

Sheryl Crow demands a limit on toilet paper.
But that doesn’t mean she can’t sing about the glory days or a roll-a-pottybreak, right?

I would have given you all of my roll
but there’s someone who’s being a butthole
and she’s taking almost all that I’ve got
but if you want, I’ll try to wipe again
baby I’ll try to wipe again but I know
The first butt is the deepest, baby I know
The first butt is the deepest
’cause when it comes to switching rolls, she’s cursed
when it comes to leaving seats up, he’s worst
but when it comes to leaving floaters, she’s first
that’s how I know
The first butt is the deepest, baby I know
The first butt is the deepest
I still want you by my toilet’s side
just to help me dry the tears that I’ve cried
cause I’m sure gonna get some two-ply
and if you want, I’ll try to wipe again
but baby, I’ll try to wipe again, but I know
The first butt is the deepest, baby I know
The first butt is the deepest
’cause when it comes to switching rolls, she’s cursed
when it comes to leaving seats up, he’s worst
but when it comes to leaving floaters, she’s first
that’s how I know
The first butt is the deepest, baby I know
The first butt is the deepest

I was asked to guess blog at Right Wing News, so I just put up a post there about how John Edwards can get rid of his prissy image. I’ll post here soon as well as long as none of you nag me about it.

Betsy Angert of Daily Kos has posted a long and emotional eulogy lamenting the untimely passing of Seung-Hui Cho, the “loveable and fragile individual” who shot 32 people at Virginia Tech. As teary-eyed as this tribute made me, it just didn’t seem to be enough. I mean, yes, Cho was – technically – a victim of gun violence, too, but in the bigger picture, he was so much more.
First, we should consider Cho’s thoughtful, giving nature. Just think – if it weren’t for Cho, no one would know any of his victims’ names. But thanks to his actions, those 32 names will be enshrined and memorialized forever. When the Indianapolis Colts won the Superbowl, did people start posting names of the entire starting line-up? Heck no! Cho has brought more recognition to his classmates – most of whom he hardly even knew – than Peyton Manning did for all his teammates who made Indy’s victory possible. Unlike this lauded superstar athlete, Cho was an unselfish man.
But he did so much more than bring the spotlight to 32 unknowns. He took a stand for the oppressed underclass of which he was a part. In a country that hates everyone except white people, he had the courage to be openly Asian – something that no one else besides Michelle Malkin has ever done successfully in our nation’s hateful history.
In addition, by his courageous trigger-pullings, he became a true crusader – bringing attention to America’s numerous flaws. Of course, he didn’t actually MEAN to do this, but when it comes to doing the right thing, the brave thing, the courageous thing, it’s well-accepted that intentions matter more than actual results. And if, perhaps, he didn’t actually HAVE any good intentions, still it’s only fair that he should get credit for them anyway, isn’t it? After all, there’s an agenda involved here, and that’s what REALLY matters.
Here are some reasons we all owe Cho a debt of thanks.
He pointed out the need for stricter gun control laws – Cho did his shooting with a .22 pistol and 9mm pistol. Notice that he did NOT use a machine gun, assault rifle, or even a nuclear missile. That’s because those things are ILLEGAL! These shootings are inarguable proof that we need to ban smaller calibers, too.
He pointed out the need for Federal Arts Funding reform – During his time at VT, Cho poured his blackly withered soul into writing a grammatically atrocious 10-page play that was completely lacking in plot, theme, dialogue, and coherance. Yet this brilliant avant-garde masterpiece was never produced for the stage. Sure, it was no Piss Christ, but it’s still a shame that our government stood by and did nothing, allowing this sparkling gem of obscenity, pedophilia, and murder to languish uncelebrated.
He pointed out the need for health care reform – Dozens of people knew there was something wrong with Cho. He didn’t socialize, he mumbled to himself in class, and took cellphone upskirt pics of his teachers – all the classic signs of dangerous psychosis and/or Star Trek fandom. But how was he to get the help he needed in a country so primitive that it doesn’t offer free universal mental health care coverage? I guess those who claim that it’s somehow less urgent than covering physical ailments can just shut the hell up now.
He pointed out the need for immigration reform – America has long been a nation of immigrants, but lately our racist government has completely closed down our borders, refusing to let anyone into the country except for the sane, the employable, and the WHITE! WHITE! WHITE! But if we were to set aside our debased racial prejudices, our country could reap the benefits of entire diverse communities of unassimilated, unbalanced, and unwhite peoples of colors. These groups could then give one another the sort of emotional and interpersonal understanding that only those who have lived the horror of brown eyes, straight black hair, and indecipherably thick accents can give. The sort of understanding that our oppressive, patriarchal, racist government denied to poor Cho.
Finally, he pointed out the need for wage reform – Cho’s parents both had to work 14 hours a day to earn the money to put him through college. Why was this? Mostly because Bush hates yellow people. But also because not one single job in America pays more than $5.15 an hour. If only this nation were sensible enough to institute a fair, livable, minimum wage (ten, twenty, fifty bucks an hour – whatever). If there were that one small fairness in this country, Cho’s parents could’ve afforded to work less and spent quality time with their son. The could’ve listened to his concerns, empathized with his feelings, and taught him important life lessons. Like “when planning a shooting spree, always start by shooting yourself first to save money on ammo”.
If only Cho had saved more money on ammo.
So sad.