Don Imus has lost his job. Next to be fired: Ryan Seacrest.
Archive of entries posted on 12th April 2007
State of the Frank Report
This is the part of the blog where I write about my day for those interested.
To kill Aquaman, I must first find his weakness.
I was bit exhausted today because I had to fend off a savage attack by my dog. She’s a pit bull, so random, deadly attacks are just part of her personality. Still, recuperating gave me a chance to stay in and plot.
On our kitchen table I spread out newspaper articles and research papers on Aquaman. It would probably be easier to organize all the information on a computer, but when plotting to kill I like to have physical things to hold… to crush.
“Why waste your time with this?” My wife was cleaning her stainless steel .45. “Just shoot him in the face and get this over with.”
I laughed. “This isn’t going to be some drive by shooting by a gangbanger with his pants around his ankles; I’m plotting to kill a superhero. This is a game of chess.” I didn’t want this kill to be traced back to me either. No more loose ends to worry about.
SarahK finished assembling the gun and raked the slide triumphantly. “Just make sure he never bothers us again. You still have that monkey to take care of, remember?”
Of course I can remember; I can feel its eyes on me every time I’m near a window. But first things first.
One newspaper article caught my eye. Aquaman saved a swimmer from sharks. He simply swam in, grabbed the youth, and swam out without a care.
And that’s his weakness. He is so used to commanding sea creatures, it’s not even something he has to think about anymore. And after the incident outside of Tucson, he’s been even more reckless.
You think you can swim with the sharks, Aquaman? We’ll see about that.
Something Better Happen Soon
There’s nothing to post about. The two big stories right now — Imus and the Duke lacrosse players — are both things I never cared about.
So, here’s a non-political topic: What exactly is fire?
I mean, it has a size (though the shape is constantly in flux) and a color, but I don’t think it has a mass. What exactly is it? Are we sure fire isn’t black magic? Like, are we so used to fire now, we’ve just never really looked at it and said, “Wait a second! This is evil!”
I don’t trust fire. I think unleashing fire to gain its heat and warmth is like making a deal with the devil. Don’t do it. Fire bad.
Daily Fred Thompson Fact
Bill Whittle’s Unseen Part 2
Whitler snuck in his next essay a couple days ago, a second part to an essay on critical thinking that he started a decade or so ago. I swear, J.D. Salinger outputs writing more consistently than him.
I just found out about it and haven’t read it yet, but I thought I’d pass it on to you since they’re always worthwhile. Reactions later.
