This is the part of the blog where I write about my day for those interested.
On the way to pick up groceries for my wife, my vehicle was rammed by another car and then I was abducted as a hood was thrown over my head. I guess that’s better than being abducted on the way home from the grocery store because who would know what would happen to the perishables.
When the hood was pulled off, I was bound to a chair in a darkroom. In front of me stood a man who looked in dire need of sleep and a razor. “I’m Jack Bauer with CTU.”
“I’m Guybrush Threepwood and I want to be a pirate,” I answered, not hiding my annoyance. “What the hell is this all about?”
“There was a terrorist attack on a nearby power plant.” He held up some pictures. “Recognize these people?”
I looked them over. They were quite terroristy looking. “Last time I was at a mosque, I was pretty drunk, so I probably won’t remember names. Twenty bucks says at least four of them are named ‘Mohammad,’ though.”
“Do you recognize her?” He held up another picture — apparently from surveillance cams at the power plant. It was of SarahK.
I quickly got over the shock. “I can’t expect me to keep track of every blond woman I’ve been around. Why exactly do you think I, John Q. Public, would have anything to do with any of this?”
“We know you are an accomplice of this woman. You had her eliminate the other terrorists to try and hide the evidence. Unfortunately for you, the bomb never went off and we know that NTM Publishing Corp. funded the…”
“Corp.?” I interrupted. “I own NTM Publishing Inc.”
The agent checked some documents. “Oh. Looks like we made a mistake.” He cut the rope. “You can go.”
“Don’t I get an apology?”
“We don’t have time, sir. There are terrorists attacks going on right now and–”
“So you’re telling my you have time to explain to me why you can’t apologize to me, but you don’t have time to actually apologize.”
He glared at me. “Fine… Sorry!”
“See; that wasn’t so hard. Can I get your insurance information? You did hit me earlier.”
It took a while to get all the information I needed, but after about an hour I let him go. Still, there was the question of why my wife was at a nuclear power plant with terrorists. When I get home, Lucy will have some splain’n to do.
it’s so obvious! i was making them BLTs.
delicious BLTs?
Just be glad it wasn’t Fred Thompson that was interogating you.
I’m not buyin’! If that was the REAL Jack Bauer he would have injected you with some truth juice and you would have been squealing like a stuck Rosie!
What’s to explain?
If SarahK sees a terrorist, she eliminates him.
SOP.
Man, I gotta get a life. I instantly picked up on that Monkey Island reference and I don’t even play any of the games. =B
Maybe you should have enlisted CTU in your plan to kill the monkey, you missed last time…
Well, it’s better than catblogging…
yeah, because CTU never screws up any plans. while i’m at it, why don’t i enlist Johnny Sutton to prosecute drug smugglers?
“I’m Guybrush Threepwood and I want to be a pirate,”
ahhh, brings back memories…
btw, Frank, you may consider this a backhanded compliment, but as someone who thought IMAO had gone downhill, the “State of the Frank” reports have been well done and are a welcome addition.
Everyone thought that you knew that Sarah was CIA.
It’s too bad these “Alphabet Agencies” still do not share intwelligence.
No way that’s true. Jack’s too busy jumping the shark to deal with such matters.
//No way that’s true. Jack’s too busy jumping the shark to deal with such matters.//
That’s why “DRIVE” is a kicka$$ replacement.