Huckabee’s former research director has hinted that a big Romney scandal will break soon. I don’t buy it. Romney just doesn’t have enough character to do anything scandalous of note. Some huge scandal might actually help him, as people would say, “What? A scandal? He’s not as bland as I thought.”
Anyway, here’s what the scandal could be:
TOP TEN POSSIBLE ROMNEY SCANDALS
10. Did he say “Mormon”? He meant “Scientologist.”
9. His programming does not include Asimov Three Laws of Robotics.
8. Don’t tell anyone, but he actually changed some of his positions on the issues for political purposes.
7. He once ate his salad with the desert fork.
6. He lived in that hive of scum and villainy known as Massachusetts. Not only that, he was their leader!
5. Despite claims of being a green Republican, he himself is not biodegradable.
4. There’s video of him forgetting to use “please” and “thank you.”
3. He refuses to shake hands with poor people (but is that all that unusual for a Republican?).
2. The hobo graveyard in his backyard: It wasn’t there when he bought the place like he originally claimed.
And the number one possible Romney scandal…
It’s a toupee!
I heard John Edwards does his hair!
Currently, the “boy, he’s got nice hair” votes, are split between the Democrats and Republicans, because of Romney and Edwards. Would the loss of some of those be offset by the increase in the bald vote?
Romney does have one big plus. After his term, he can serve as his own likeness in Disney’s Hall of Presidents.
PS: A great band name? Hobo Graveyard.
Romney once got into a contest with Edwards over who had the better hair. Romney lost – but not by much.
Romney once ate Jell-O that wasn’t green.
When Romney ran the 2002 Olympics, 2 of the sponsoring companies didn’t do any bribery.
He has a 2-year supply of wheat in his basement.
Only four of his five sons were constructed in the basement laboratory. The fifth is actually adopted!
Rumor has it this scandal involves corn liquor, corn smut, and a blue-ribbon hawg named Lulu Belle.
[Mike Huckabee’s sister was not available to comment.]
His hair is dropping out and will be running as a independent.
Romney may be biodegradable, but that hair sure ain’t.
#1a. He left his church because of a dispute over a bike path route.
Wait, sorry, wrong politician.
http://www.nationalreview.com/goldberg/goldberg200502161204.asp
Nevermind.
I think no matter what Romney is dropping out of the race on Friday and endorsing Fred, that’s just to avoid the shame of being beaten by McCain in New Hampshire.
Romney cried when he read about John Edwards on IMAO. He discovered that John had taken all the good nicknames.
If Mitt could hie to Kolob in the twinkling of an eye, would he do it?
Isaac Asimov actually added a 4th law for robots.