Desperately Seeking a Sub-1-Star Post Rating

Such miserable, tortured creatures IMAO readers are. Sweaty, twitching, and racked with guilt, they wrestle with the sickening knowledge that turning on their computers to grovel at the feet of their precious blog-God inevitably increases the size of their carbon footprints, and they weep for having thoughtlessly stuck their callous knives into the breast of Mother Earth.
Forgive them, sweetest Gaia, for they know not what they do.

Gaia.jpg

No Comments

  1. Technically, anyone who views the post and doesn’t click on any stars at all has therefore clicked on zero stars. The denominator in your ratings calculation should be all page views, not all viewers who rated the post.
    Next week we’ll discuss your problem with the numerator. Racist.

  2. Not only do I turn on my computer to read IMAO, I also turn on the tv, stereo, all the lights, my two trucks and suv, all the four wheelers,lawn tractor, chain saw, leaf blower, run the hot water, turn the thermostat to 90, and the burners and oven on. If I forgot anything, I will find it on the next pass to the open fridge to grab a beer.
    All this and no global warming yet? I don’t have a carbon footprint, I have a carbon impact crater.

  3. Harvey, does that mean the writers at IMAO are hyperventilating snark addicts who lovingly inhale our never-ending adulation of witty prose? I hope so.
    By the way, what does Gaia need with a blog?
    I rate your post as a simultaneous 0.0 and 5.0, making it a quantum singularity. Bravo!

  4. Gaia giving birth? Doesn’t that violate the whole “zero population growth” thing? I mean, if she’s giving birth to whole Earths that’s like doubling the Earth planetary population right there. At that rate, we’ll be up to our armpits in ’em in no time!
    Too many Earths. Just say no.

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