A Great Day for People of Pallor
An Excerpt from George Washington’s Inauguration Speech

 It has been a long hard road here. As a little boy growing up in America, I honestly did not think such a thing was possible. But we have a grown as a nation, and now I stand here breaking this barrier once and for all by becoming the first white male president of the United States of America.

 I still remember how much it stung when people made fun of my lack of rhythm and predilection for putting mayo on everything. Then there were the bombings of expensive coffee houses — some of the worst examples of hatred against white males. But we are a less ignorant society now, and my election now shows that white males are now as accepted in America as anyone else.

 I want my inauguration to serve as example to every white male out there that you can achieve anything you put your mind to. I’m not saying discrimination against us is not still out there, but it can be overcome. Here I am as proof: a white man and president of the United States of America.
George Washington was the first while male president of the United States of America.

7 Comments

  1. The title confused me for a second, but then I realized you must mean “pallor” instead of “parlor”.
    I have only been speaking this language for a few years, Mr. FrankJ Funnyman.

  2. I believe you want “pallor,” although people of pallor occasionally sat in the poorly-lit parlor to preserve their pallor. Possibly you you meant “purler,” though I believe Martha did most of the knitting (and hence purling) in that household. British slang usage, however, would indicate that Gerald Ford was our first true President of Purler

  3. More suggestions before Hawkins links you. Change:
    “I was my inauguration to serve as example to every white male…”
    to:
    My inauguration served as an example to every white male…
    Just bein’ a helpie helper.

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