Children Think He’s Ready to Lead

Barack Obama won the Nickelodeon kids vote… barely. 51% to 49%. Am I alone in being a bit surprised by these results? I would have expected a more lopsided victory for Obama by the segment of society known for being distracted by shiny things. I guess children are more racist than we thought.

UPDATE:

Kerry won the Nickelodeon poll 57% to 43%. And we all remember the Kerry landslide.

(thanks to reader Elliot for pointing that out)

IMAO Once Again Causing Controversy

The Young Conservatives of Texas printed a humorous Top Ten Gun Safety Tips flyer and is now in threat of being disbanded by Lone Star College–Tomball (What the hell kind of college name is that? Did the college get married and change its name?). The Volokh Conspiracy has a discussion of the First Amendment implications, but if you look at the top ten list there, you may note that another issue is at play here: Plagiarism!

That’s right; the list is taken from my Top Ten Gun Safety tips t-shirt (in stock now!), with a few minor edits (for some reason, #4 is missing the punchline). I’m guessing the most controversial one is #10 “Always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction, such as at a Hippy or a Communist.” Now, a lot of people have crticized that line because it doesn’t use the preferred spelling of “hippie,” and I don’t really have a response to that. But do some people think it constitutes an actual threat?

Come on! This isn’t “dead baby humor” trying to be offensive. This is straight up conservatives like guns and don’t like hippies and Communists humor. It’s about as mild as “Why does the chicken cross the road?” for this site. It’s actually making fun of conservative bravado in a way, so you could actually call it quite nuanced — except that makes it sound gay. Anyway, I even remember one Simpsons episode that made jokes about shooting hippies (and graphically depicted it — it was awesome!). Hippies aren’t even real people. They’re just made up. As for threatening to point a gun at Communists, that’s like threatening to point a gun at Nazis. Reagan killed them all in the eighties anyway.

Anyway, Brian S. Nelson speaking on behalf of the Lone Star College System responded to FIRE’s free speech claim saying:

“The mention of firearms and weapons on college campuses – and in specific LSCS – Tomball – brings fear and concern to students, faculty and staff ‐ which translates into a ‘material interference with the operation of the school or the rights of others’.”

So basically you can have the First Amendment and the Second Amendment but don’t try to combine the two into one freedom peanut butter cup and talk about guns, because that’s verboten. So, I guess that can’t even talk about Heller in their Constitutional law class. Really, is our freedom of speech limited by what can scare sissies? In America, the last people we’re ever supposed to be concerned about are sissies. If it were up the sissies, we’d have the queen on our money right now. I hate that woman. I don’t want her anywhere near my money.

Anyway, just for the the Young Conservative of Texas, here’s a rewrite of item ten:

“Always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction, such as at a Hippy or a Communist or a college administrator.”

Then again, that’s kinda repetitive. Of course, this could be some brilliant ploy by the Lone Star College system. They’ll have a meeting for anyone who felt threatened by the flyer, and then they’ll shoot all those people for being Communists (or hippies). That’s the Texas I know.

Hellbender Note

I should have two more chapter up this week. Even at the glacial pace, I should have the story finished before senility keeps me from remembering how it ends.

Righhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhttttt . . .


Just add Jimmy Carter

Vote Obama and Don’t Ask Any Questions If You Know What’s Good for You

I hope we’ve all learned our lesson. In the new regime, if Barack Obama comes to your house, you better show him complete reverence or he and his cronies in the media will destroy you. Joe the Plumber has had his company shut down just for asking a question, so Obama is already losing people jobs and he’s not even president yet.

Anyway, if you want to keep your meager job and share in Obama’s socialism handouts, don’t ask questions like these:

“I know your supporters can’t, but can you name anything significant you’ve accomplished?”

“Do you have any friends who don’t hate or want to destroy America?”

“What’s your policy on flag pin wearing today?”

“When Chief Justice Roberts says your full name as part of swearing you in, are you going to have him arrested for a hate crime?”

“Why are your ears so big, you mutant freak?”

“So basically you think Socialism is fine and dandy as long as you call it something else?”

“Can I call you ‘Barry’? How about ‘Pinko’?”

“How exactly are you going to handle the presidency when rolling a ball down a little lane is apparently an epic challenge for you?”

“Can you please say, ‘Did I do that?’ in a nasally voice?”

The IMAO Presidential Endorsement

When it comes down to it, the main reason people come to IMAO is for guidance. That’s why our endorsements are so critical. Many credit our endorsement of George W. Bush in 2004 of winning him that election when polls had him losing just days before. Other’s credit our conspiring with Diebold for rendering those polls moot. Unfortunately, the voting machines this year have a programming glitch causing them to register a vote for whomever the user selects instead of the predetermined winner, so it’s back to the old fashioned tactic of trying to influence people.

That said, IMAO endorses…

Continue reading ‘The IMAO Presidential Endorsement’ »