Big Richard pointed out to me that it’s National Diversity Day, which, he noted, is the dumbest idea ever, so he suggests the following alternative:
Celebrate the People Who’s Ass We’ve Kicked Day.
A day to reflect on the people we’ve decimated over the last 300+ years. From the East Coast Indians during the colonial times to the Iraqis of today. We’ll Look at:
– Why we kicked their ass?
– Why they went down so easily
– Look to see if they need a new “whoopin”
– And sample some spoils of our conquest like local food, plunder, land and prostitutes.
It’s already late, so I’ll make this an audience participation feature, and kick it off with:
Eskimos
Why we did it? They were hogging all the baby-seal-clubbing for themselves. Funnest thing EVER!
Why they lost? For bringing a snowball to a gunfight
Need more whoopin? Nah, they were smart enough to trade in their dogsleds for snowmobiles, and they still piss off hippies by killing whales. At this point, we should just give them a pat on the head and a blubber-flavored cookie.
Spoils? PALIN!!!
Who’s next?








