Celebrate Diversity

Big Richard pointed out to me that it’s National Diversity Day, which, he noted, is the dumbest idea ever, so he suggests the following alternative:

Celebrate the People Who’s Ass We’ve Kicked Day.
A day to reflect on the people we’ve decimated over the last 300+ years. From the East Coast Indians during the colonial times to the Iraqis of today. We’ll Look at:
– Why we kicked their ass?
– Why they went down so easily
– Look to see if they need a new “whoopin”
– And sample some spoils of our conquest like local food, plunder, land and prostitutes.

It’s already late, so I’ll make this an audience participation feature, and kick it off with:


Eskimos

Why we did it? They were hogging all the baby-seal-clubbing for themselves. Funnest thing EVER!

Why they lost? For bringing a snowball to a gunfight

Need more whoopin? Nah, they were smart enough to trade in their dogsleds for snowmobiles, and they still piss off hippies by killing whales. At this point, we should just give them a pat on the head and a blubber-flavored cookie.

Spoils? PALIN!!!


Who’s next?

IMAO Exclusive: OBAMA IS A METH ADDICT!!!

MUST CREDIT IMAO!!!

I have confirmation that Obama’s big secret is that he’s a meth addict.

Confirmation of speculation that is.

I mean, look how skinny that guy is. Probably because of drugs. I’m guessing meth, because he likes doing whatever the popular kids are doing. Probably buys it from his terrorist buddy Ayers to help fund his terrorist activities.

Also, if someone told you there is a meth addict named Obama, isn’t this what you think he’d look like:

Until I see his medical records to the contrary, I think it’s safe to assume he does lots of meth and rants against America and our troops to his terrorist friends when high. He should not be in charge of the country. He probably shouldn’t even be around his children. What a disgrace.

Onward from Here

I think if we want to be good Republican shills, are focus from here on is questioning Obama’s patriotism and pointing out his disdain for America and her troops. Also, let’s spread more rumors about him. Like, you know where he learned all his anti-American talking points? At madrasses. And why does Obama hang with American hating preachers and terrorists in America? Because it reminds him of his happy days at the madrass. And why has Obama been so set on having America lose in Iraq? Because al Qaeda considers Iraq the main front in the war and guess who Obama sympathizes with (there’s his bipartisanship – working with Shiites despite the face I’m pretty certain the type of Muslim he secretly is is Sunni from how much he wants to personally talk to Ahmadinejad).

Anyway, make sure to spread any horrible stuff you hear about Obama.. especially if it’s true!

Right-Wing Movies?

Well, Naked Gun director and almost every conservative actor in Hollywood are opening their attempt at a right-leaning movie today, American Carol. I haven’t seen any reviews for it yet, but you can be pretty certain the mainstream reviewers are going to hate it. I’m probably going to go see it, though (but not this weekend as I have other things to focus on).

Anyway, really hope it doesn’t suck. If it does well, then we can be certain we’ll see more conservative focused movies in the future. Ooh… I should write a screenplay…