I’ve been watching all the “best” movies.
I took the AFI’s “100 Years, 100 Movies” list from 1998, their updated version from 2007, AFI’s “10 Top 10” (their picks for the top 10 movies in 10 categories: Animation, Romantic comedy, Westerns, Sports, Mystery, Fantasy, Science fiction, Gangster, Courtroom dramas, Epics), and the Academy Awards® “Best Picture” winners, and put them all in one big list.
Some films are in more than one list, so the combined listing has 222 films.
I’ve now seen 150 of them. I have 72 more to go.
I’m telling you, it’s hard — really hard — to watch some of the crap that has come out of Hollywood over the years.
But, it gives me an idea…
Let’s make all the detainees at Guantánamo Bay watch the movies on that list. All of them. Some of them twice.
What would the Hollywood elite say then?
Would they admit their films are torture?
Or would they finally shut up and let us use the tactics necessary to get the information from the terrorists?
I would opt for water boarding personally, rather than watch all of these movies, so you have my sympathy Basil; you are brave though and obviously a very patient person to take on such a brutal slog. I would have eaten a handful of pure MDA and shot out the windows of my house with my Luger after the first ten, but I’m not what you would call a ‘patient’ man. I think the detainees at Gitmo would also make the same choice, being water boarded rather that watching the films on this list. I’m still undecided as to what is worse torture though; Watching these films the Academy have deemed to be ‘good’, or watching these Union Employees at the Awards, get up on stage every year, basking in the warm waters of their own delusional, self-aggrandizing accolades, to essentially stroke one another? Give me water boarding, or Ishtar on repeat, any day of the week.
Cazart!
TS
Wet blanket time, maybe
I’m just thinking that maybe the detainees at Gitmo speak very little English and understand our culture even less. This would downgrade the torture value of watching the films to mere boredom level.
[Hell, I didn’t understand most of the movies on that list. And I was a lot worse than bored.
Actually, you are taking this post way too serious. You don’t really believe all the stuff that’s written here, do you? Please say no. – B]
No
[Whew! – B]
I’m all for ventilating the heads of Guantanamo bay detainees. But your idea of forcing them to watch that crap is CRUEL and UNUSUAL punnishmet.
If we showed the detainees only the positive side of American culture and history (carefully editing the films beforehand) we might be able to turn them away from ‘the dark side’.
If that works we could do the same for a select group of college professors, commentators, and journalists who also have a constantly negative view of America.
Speaking of movies I heard Spielberg has a new one in development. It’s to be an epic three hour groaner about multimillionaire financial genius Bernie Madof staring Ben Kingsley as Bernie and Joy Behar as his homely but loyal wife. It’s going to be called Swindlers List. I hear It has a cast of thousands.
Nice plan, but bound to backfire. Show them a couple of films starring Sean Penn, and yes, it’s torture while it lasts, but in the end, it would only strengthen their beliefs in why America needs to be destroyed. Heck, if the only way I were to learn about America was through Red Diaper Doper Baby cinema, I’d be the first to volunteer for a kamikaze mission.
“the detainees at Gitmo speak very little English and understand our culture even less.”
Which makes them different from Hollywood…how?
Basil, thanks for taking one for the good team. I know if I had to sit through more than a few minutes of an oscar movie, I would be sitting in the clock tower right now.
Only if they have to watch it like Alex DeLarge. http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3502113049/
Dude, get a job.
[Dude, how do you think I’m able to pay for the big screen TV, the home theatre sound system, cable, the TiVo, the Netflix account… – B]
Hey, Basil — could you plz publish the list you created? You’ve got me curious about what’s in it, for one thing, and who knows, I might feel a little masochistic myself one of these days — especially if I get laid off anytime soon lol — and try to do that myself …
[The list is in this post at my own little blog. Note, that was before this year’s Best Picture winner was announced, which is why there are only 221 films, not 222.
Sorry, but it’s not a combined list. The first list is the movies I had seen as of that date; the second list is a list of those I hadn’t seen, as of that that. Hope that helps. – B]
I’ve seen all of the Top 10 Animation and Top 10 Scifi, and a good portion of the rest. Maybe I should start with the Top 100 in countdown order.
Thanks, Basil! Was pretty easy to combine them all in a spreadsheet (and to add Slumdog M) then sort them alphabetically. Too bad I can’t sort them in a more useful way, like, in order of least crap to most crap lol … but yeah, using this list to make some of my future movie choices seems like a good idea to me. I was actually surprised to see how many I’ve already seen (nowhere near as many as you, but more than I thought for myself).
Having said that … I’m quite certain I’ll concur with you on some of the “best” choices. And when I do hit upon a real lemon, well, that will be time that I’ll never get back!
Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained, eh? I like what you said on your blog, that “watching a good movie is … better than good. It’s great.”
Yep. Good thinking and thanks for doing the legwork on this. In fact, you really deserve an award of some kind, or something, for it … hmm …