North Korea is getting ready to launch missiles! Yay! Now Obama get to show us how he handles a crisis!
Now, if I were handling it, I’d send a note to Kim Jong Il saying, “If you launch those missiles, I will kill you and everyone you care about you pot-bellied, poofy-haired freak! Then I will put your head on a pike and everyone will remark how that is the damn ugliest pike they’ve ever seen!”
I’m guessing Obama will handle things differently. First he’ll offer North Korea unconditional hugs. If that doesn’t work, then he’ll grovel. Then he’ll disarm us hoping North Korea will follow suit. Then he’ll apologize for one of our cities being vaporized and we’ll all forgive him because he meant good.
By way of opening a dialog with the North Koreans, Obama has agreed to appear on the “Late Nite with Dear Leader” show.
His staff are already working on some capitalist-retard jokes.
Only the koreans would build a missile called a Dong.
Lets try to focus on the positive: maybe the vaporized city will be Washington DC.
Hillary just threatened them with all kinds of vague and irrelevant consequences. They must be shaking in their boots to have Hillary warning them. Sad – she’s become the
teethbig ass of the Obama administration. Idiots.You appear to have forgotten the first rule of Obama: Blame Bush. Since the North Koreans have waited until Mr. Bush is out of office to whip out their Dongs, clearly it is because they were afraid to point their Dongs at Bush. But Obama will claim that the failed cowboy diplomacy of the last eight years has put him over a barrel, helplessly awaiting the North Korean Dongs.
The second rule of Obama: Spend. So this crisis will not be wasted, and we will have a New Marshall Plan (“bailout” is so February). A few hundred billion dollars ought to keep Kimmy happy.
Andrew Sullivan is disappointed at your flagrant false advertising post title, Frank. lol
My guess is Kim Jong Il has a bad self image. He has a girl’s name, he’s short, his country sucks. He has got to have serious personal issues and try’s to over compensate for it. Come on, the guy even calls his country’s missile a “Dong”. Maybe Obama should send him some flowers. Maybe buy him some jewelry. Take him out for a night on the town. Make him feel pretty.
I think I’ll email this suggestion to that White House website Harvey was talking about yesterday. With people like Hillary advising him, lord knows Obama needs our help.
Coming soon: Ambassador to North Korea Arrec Barrdwin.
It’s okay, Obama has a strategy!
“Hope that the Dongs fall into the sea after launch.”
Uh, that’s it.
@ Socrates (#5) – you are indeed a most excellent philosopher. I’m laughing pizza sauce out of my nose.
That one’s wife has been eagerly awaiting the “dong”, but then discovered it was from yet another useless so called head of state.
BHO: Launch? I thought you said lunch!
“Hope that the Dongs fall into the sea after launch.”
BHO thought they were going to have Ding Dongs after lunch.
News Alert !!!!!! Teh One has named Monica Lewinsky as special ambassador to N Korea. (Sorry, too obvious.)
North Koreans have little dongs…………
It sounds like a great opportunity to test our missile defense system. We can always claim we thought the rocket was an alien space probe or a meteor or something.
Maybe we should send Kim Jong-il some Enzyte. Then he’d be all happy like that smilin’ bob guy.
#16
“And Smiling Kim has a boost of confidence and very happy concubine at home!”
Who knew that the “Test” hObama was going to face, which was prophesied by Hair Plugs the Vicest, would be a large number of threatening Korean Dongs. I hear Barney Frank is simply walking on air though.
For a model, they’ll certainly look to Jimmy Carter’s handling of the Iran Hostage Crisis…and do the same.
Send him the DVD of “Doctor Strangelove,” Young President. That’s what you’re good at, isn’t it? Giving away DVDs.
All I can see in my mind is the Obami administration doing that old tv show intro…
Hey, Hey, We’re the monkeys!!
Eric said the M-word!!!
I think in Korean Dong is pronounced “dung”, isn’t it? They better NOT be throwing a bunch of crap at our pristine shores! We have several megatons of that in DC alone. Our throw-weight darwfs theirs.
oops, dwarfs. Sorry
I wonder if the Japanese will take it upon themselves to blast that nork missile out of the sky if it crosses over their territory (they certainly have the capability), especially as Obama doesn’t look like he has the stones to do it himself?
Just send Barney Frank over. He has extensive experience with handling Dongs.
Barack is just going to put his head in a bucket to protect himself from Kim Jongs Dong.
Pretty sure Hillary is the only person in the administration who owns more than zero testicles. Rahm sometimes rents one, but Hillary’s the only one who ponied up and bought one.
Normally I attempt humor when I comment but I have a boring story.
Way back in the year 1993 I was stationed in Japan. I remember sitting in an operational meeting discussing what we needed to do to support air combat operations on the Korean peninsula because North Korea was blustering about invading the south and they wanted to develop nuke reactors for electricity, blah blah blah. That was when in a brilliant move Clinton gave them light water reactor technology and a whole ton of food aid (not actually sending them food but giving them a wad of cash to buy food, which they didnt) Then he spent time patting himself on the back about how a crisis was avoided by understanding the poor misunderstood North Koreans. We were very close to bombing the snot out of these people but wimped out and gave them everything they wanted so they can pull the same stunt today.
Peren, it was established in late 2007 that Hillary received Bill’s testicles implanted during a secret operation in the basement of the White House. She had them briefly on ice in her famous ‘Testicle Lock Box.’ It’s rumored she uses Amway Ball Sack Cream to keep her nuts (Hillary’s Nuts!) lubricated.
Oh, and I agree nightfly. Socrates has Obama ‘s Il Dongs figured out. It must be a Greek thing.
Moogie: First he needs to check to be sure the DVD won’t work on North Korean technology. But that’s unlikely, since they still use 8-tracks and VHR or Beta.
Awesometific American, quit living in the past. this is the change we have been waiting for. I am sure Barry can turn radioactive fallout into food for the homeless
Hey wasn’t “Here Comes the Dongs” Barack election campaign theme?
Here come de judge. Here come de judge. (60’s)
GongDong.(Ya’ll remember the Gong Show, right? This be the Dong Show. Woo hoo! Go Japan! Gong that Dong.)
(Ok, it’s too early for c*cktails.)
Your right Paul. The past is the past. When North Korea nukes us I will just walk outside look for my car and say, “Dong? Where is my automobile?” (I honestly cant believe that no one has gone for that joke yet.)
Ya know what? At this point I’m almost resigned to rooting for the NorKors to lob a nuke over here. Anything that has a chance of taking out the current Fraudulous-in-Chief and his helpers will be a good thing.
It’s time, as someone once said here, to seriously thin the herd of all the freedloaders, dirtbags, douches, whiners, looters, …”rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists!”
Our side has the guns; why can’t we make this happen?
I have the utmost confidence in our leaders to handle this crisis. In fact Hilary is already preping a speech explaining how it is all America’s fault for taking a stand against the dirt poor North Korea’s actions against South Korea.
” Oh god oh god we’re all going to die”- Serenity
Kim Jong? No Dong. Thus…the crisis explained.
Now…what do do about his clear problem dispalcement strategy, substituting a flabby, non-performing genital with a Heap, Big, Mighty, Missile!?
It’s a puzzle…ain’t it?
When Jong hints America with his Dong Obozo will just blame Bush. And then run around screaming like a little girlie man looking for his teleprompter to figure out what to do.
When Reagan ran for office he made & kept two key military promises: Put the B1b bomber back into production and lift the ban on cluster bombs. He won the election, cracked his knuckles, and on the same day he was inaugurated as President Iran released the American embassy hostages. Several years later the Soviet Union collapsed like a house of cards under the weight of an arms race Reagan knew would drive the commies bankrupt.
Obama insults retarded people who bowl.
We’re sending several destroyers including the USS McCain over there! Check it out:
US deploys warships as North Korea prepares to launch missile
“The US Navy spokesman said the two destroyers – the USS McCain and USS Chafee – equipped with Aegis technology capable of tracking and destroying missiles had left Sasebo port in southwestern Japan. “I would say we are ready for any contingencies,” he added.”
Heeeeere’s Johnny.
#41 If Regen were pres. We would have 2 Aircraft carriers and and a couple hundred Abrams pounding heavy Metal music off their coast while our Ambassador told them ” Do it, just ****ing do it I dare you” and holding a little red button with a map of North Korea in front of him overlaid with Nuclear attack plans for a respone to a North korean Attack. And South Korea would be ready to push up north and put the fear of ( well S.K is a pretty evenly distributed country faith wise so I’ll go with god with a lowercase g) god in those crazy bastards.
Great. Two destroyers named after RINOs. If they are anything like their namesakes, when came down to shooting the missile out of the sky, they’ll go high alert, get the missile in their sites and then go flaccid.
Is that chemical laser firing 747 ready yet?
Kim Jong Il: Hans Brix? Oh no! Oh, herro. Great to see you again, Hans!
Hans Blix: Mr. Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today, but your guards won’t let me enter certain areas.
Kim Jong Il: Hans, Hans, Hans! We’ve been frew this a dozen times. I don’t have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?
Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN’s collective mind. I’m sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me in, or else.
Kim Jong Il: Or else what?
Hans Blix: Or else we will be very angry with you… and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.
Kim Jong Il: OK, Hans. I’ll show you. Stand to your reft.
Hans Blix: [Moves to the left]
Kim Jong Il: A rittle more.
Hans Blix: [Moves to the left again]
Kim Jong Il: Good.
[Opens up trap, Hans falls in]
Kim Jong Il: Why is evawyrone so fuckin’ stoopid?
KingJames, If Reagan were in Office today, we wouldn’t even be having this discussion, as Ronnie would have bitch-slapped Il long before Il could even consider growing their own Dongs. Little Kimmy would be walking around with a Permanent mushroom stamp on his forehead from a man with a True Dong. The Norks would be a non-issue. Can you imagine the man that took down the USSR doing anything but laughing at, and whooping the ass of, the Norks?
The obamessiah doesn’t believe the 747 with the chemical laser should be supported, as it is “unproven technology”.
If the one doesn’t cancel it, it is due to be tested later this year.
I’m guessing O-bah-muhh will call Hillary ar 3 A.M. and ask her for advise. She will advise him to pay them off to not test the missile, just like Bill did: just like paying Hamas for “their suffering”.
#47 – George,
I know the perfect place for that test.
If that one cuts funding, give it to the Japanese.
I’m sure they have the technological know-how to operate it, even improve it, and they sure could use it!
It’d be nice to give away high tech secrets to a Friendly Asian nation for a change.
I would love to see Japan finally just say “f*ck it” and do something, i liked koizumi, and from the looks of it, Aso doesnt take crap, with the recent deployment of defensive missles (in case n. korea goes nutty butty) i think he is getting more serious about defense of japan, and its allies.
it would just be the best to see a pacifist nation stand up to terrorists, while obama gives them cuddles and cuppy-cakes.
plus, aso is a manga fan, tell me what comic fan doesnt dream of being an international badass?
Frank J. is joking about Obama not retaliating if we are attacked with nuclear weapons. Actually this IS our most dangerous problem. Obama will not retaliate and as soon as Russia figures this out, we are all dead.
Obama will be in his bomb shelter, negotiating with the Russians after America is destroyed. The theory is ” We have already lost 250 million people. What good is it to kill 180 million more Russians. So I will save 180 million lives and negotiate so the Soviets will see how good we really are and never do it again.”