Monkeys Think Ahead

We’re a further step towards Planet of the Apes, because we now know chimps can plan ahead. Santino the chimp does a silly little monkey dance as a display of dominance every afternoon and people inevitably laugh at him. Santino get the last laugh because then he starts throwing rocks at the people who dared mock his silly little monkey dance. They’re aren’t many rocks just lying around, though, and it ends up Santino spends every morning collecting rocks since he knows people are going to laugh at his silly monkey dance and he’s going to want to throw rocks at them. That’s a smart monkey who thinks ahead. He didn’t think far enough ahead, though, because the zookeepers have now castrated him for it. Ha! Stupid monkey.

25 Comments

  1. I read this article yesterday. This monkey would even go so far as to break pieces of concrete off the habitat and break those pieces into easily throw able missiles. I saw all the Planet of the Apes movies and this is just one step away of one of these apes telling us “No”. This is the reason we need dinosaurs with rocket launchers.

  2. In related news, Gitmo detainees routinely fill the water bottles with rocks and throw them at the guards. Unfortunately the castration solution happened with the white house, not the actual terrorists. It would be like castrating everyone coming to the zoo so that no one would make fun of the sweedeo-simian, thus solving the problem, in classic liberal style, by blaming the victim and empowering the agressors.

  3. A monkey graduates from flinging poo to throwing rocks, then gets his nads chopped off after his behavior is laughed at? I think we should cover the hair plugs and let Mr. “Santino” enjoy his new obscurity as Vice President.

  4. With another Obamite dropping out (CIA) today, it’s apparent that the administration doesn’t think ahead and certainly the voters didn’t last Nov. Maybe we need to go back to the monkees and start this whole evolution thingy again.

  5. I like how they say “even some birds” can plan, in reference to Crows as if it’s evidence that many animals are capable of planning. If you don’t know, Crows (along with Parrots) are considered some of the most intelligent animals, comparable to chimps and dolphins. Actually, some parrots have learned to “talk” in the same way chimps use sign language, and some allegorical accounts say some are actually conversational, though that is somewhat unlikely.

  6. Good on you little monkey! How disgusting are the powers that be who feel they have any right to punish this poor little creature for courageously standing up to his captors! Boo on you zookeepers! BOO BOO BOO!!!!!

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