Britain is now selling stab-proof knives.
Yeah, I know. Your brain is just shouting out the numerous reasons this is completely idiotic. It’s very hard to understand how this idea could pop in someone’s head and actually survive to the product stage before being dismissed as pure stupidity. If your society is contemplating a stab-proof knife, it’s actually a lot more dignified to just roll over and die as a civilization at that point.
Anyway, I’m going to try an enumerate the reasons this is stupid, though I’ll probably miss some.
REASONS THIS IS STUPID
* Someone who is going to stab people isn’t going to buy a stab-proof knife.
* There are so many regular knives available, that getting a regular knife will always be trivial.
* But, if all regular knives are somehow banished through a magic spell, you can just take a stab-proof knife and sharpen a tip against a rock.
* Or sharpen a screwdriver.
* And it’s not like someone is going to stop being a thug because his current implement his hard to stab with.
* Thought maybe he will get so frustrated he’ll just shoot you with his illegally possessed gun.
* Finally, really? A stab-proof knife? Can’t you still cut off your testicles with it since none of you limeys seem to need them?
This is so stupid it makes me want to stab people, which I can easily do even without possession of a knife.
Did it really take us six years to beat these people? What happened over there? Oh, yeah, the same thing that’s happening here. Lovely.
What a completely useless and totally inane idea. Wish I’d invented it. Every once in a while the world needs a good pet rock.
Having stabbed myself once, I now know that the pointy end goes DOWN in the drying rack. It’s a neat design but a dumb idea. I could see some benefit to these if there was a rash of accidental stabbings in busy restaurant kitchens (when Gordon Ramsey is not present), but as it is it just appears to be further British capitulation to impending cultural demise.
It’s also illegal to run through the house with scissors or not waiting 20 minutes after eating before you go swimming.
Do I really need to point out the fact that the person who will buy a stab-proof knife is not the person you have to worry about?
Do I?!
Since Iran and N.Korea are so set on nuclear weapons, I say we buy a couple of boatloads, paint them with glow-in-the-dark paint, call them nuclear knives, and give them to Amadinajad and Kim Jong Il. Maybe they will laugh themselves to death.
Now they have to ban the practice of taking a stab-proof knife and whittling a stab-ready stick. Stupid British.
At least one can still cut another’s throat with the stab proof knife so all is not lost! Are forks still allowed? How about razors with razor blades?
This product has so thoroughly destroyed my faith in humanity that as soon as I can get my hands on one, I’m cutting my wrists with it.
Stab-proof knives are good for cut-proof cheese.
Somewhere, Hideki Tojo and Winston Churchill are sharing a drink and crying.
Sorry, that last comment was supposed to include this link. http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/features/29381-japans-generation-xx Makes more sense that way.
Said the grieving widow,” I stabbed the bastard plenty of times, and he never died before.”>>>Of course she used her knitting needles, but that’s beside the point.
Nope, but they’re still very concerned about the increase in deadly “spork” related incidents.
It should also be noted that the ‘inventer’ of ‘stab proof knives’ also advocates legislating against ‘conventional’ knives. Kind of like Al Gore advocates ‘Green’ technology while a Partner in Kleiner, Perkins, Caulfield and Byers venture capital group, which invested heavily in ‘Green’ technologies.
idiot brit mexican: geeve yor money or I cut chu! Oh damn!
idiot brit wannabe: I will take a stab at it. Oh damn!
idiot brit kanigit: Have at thee! oh damn!
American citizen: Laughing histerically!
Classless digrace in the White House: What? Cmon What?
#9 – that is a cheese joke. Several years ago I made some innocuous comment about cheese and it resulted in an avalanche of cheesy comments about off-colored sources of cheese.
“Isn’t that just like a Brit, bringin’ a stab-proof knife to a sharpened pencil fight!”
This is actually kind of a big deal in Britain, and it has been for the last few years. Their celebrities have actually been speaking out against “knife violence”. If you are a repairman, and you leave your tools out (screwdrivers and other stabby implements), you can be fined for public endangerment. What I think is funny is quite a number of years ago the NRA made some comment about their banning of guns, saying that if you get rid of guns, then people will just stab each other. The media ,as usual, made the same jokes then that they make today about such stupid, crazy fear mongering statements.
A stab-proof knife? In your eye, buddy!
Oh, wait – that’s actually how it works. Sorry, my bad.
Effing nannies. Soon they’ll want 2X4’s made of softened rubber and rocks made of styrafoam. And here I go, giving them ideas.
When there are no weapons, men will strangle each other still. You can’t legislate human nature; you can only punish it when it is expressed outside the confines of civilized society.
Has it really gotten to this point? Javelina, do you have any links with this type of info in it? It’s making me do some sort of laugh/cry thing. I don’t think I want to live in a world this stupid.
From the article:
“Nobody could just grab one out of the kitchen drawer and kill someone.”
Are they challenging us to prove them wrong?
I guess this was an easier route then angry-proofing his wife.
Harvey,
I was thinking the same thing when I read the article yesterday. I immediately thought about the angry person just gashing the victims throat open. Can’t wait until we see that headline, thus negating the entire premise.
Is it wrong that I immediately thought of how to use this to kill in non-stabby way’s and immediately came up with a solution?
This is an obvious attempt at protecting the lives of raving drugged up chimpanzees, who are unknowingly living with, and sleeping with raving loonatic moonbat liberal hippies who grab the first sharp thing and attack when something happens out of their range of understanding. Charla Nash would be much worse off today if it hadn’t been for a good old fashion stabbing type pointy ended kitchen knife.
stab-proof knife…what the hell? What good is a knife if it can’t stab……no wonder we had to bail the Brits out during two world wars.
#24, give them some credit. They weren’t all effete arseholes. They had Churchill to at least see them through WW II. Sadly, Maggie Thatcher is the most recent example we have of anyone in England having a set of Big Brass balls.
Box-cutters. Can’t stab a soul with ’em. You’d probably be pretty hard-pressed to find a way to use one of those intentionally as a weapon and then, oh I don’t know, TAKE OVER A COUPLE OF JET LINERS AND TARGET SOME BUILDINGS AND 3.000 INNOCENT CIVILIANS.
Not very different from a stab-proof knife.
Tools.
“* Or sharpen a screwdriver.”
Or just use the bloody screwdriver as-is. Some days I have to earn my moniker.
Comon’, everybody knows spurned lesbians use screwdrivers.
I have a stab-proof knife. Several, in fact. It’s called a butter knife.
Fire must also be regulated and do the benefits of the wheel really out weigh the risks? I think not.
This is the ultra hip country where you can’t use force against an intruder intent on robbing your home and if caught the robbers very rarely do jail time. Was I dreaming or didn’t the other day a Brit get charged for using a toy gun to apprehend a couple of home intruders?
… Then I came upon a wake
for a fr*gg*n’, rotten swine
by the name of Jock O’Leary,
and I touched his head with mine.
And old Jock sat up in his box,
and raised his fr*gg*n’ head.
His wife pulled out a .44,
and shot the b*st*rd dead.
Again I touched his head with mine,
and brought him back to life.
His smiling face rolled on the floor,
this time she used a (stab-proof?) knife.
Then she fell down on her knees,
and started in to pray,
“It’s forty years, Oh Lord!” she said,
“I’ve waited for this day!”
– from: ‘The Fr*gg*n’ Falcon’, by: I don’t remember who.
Crap! I’d rather be shot than sawed up, personally. Oh, wait! I have a gun, so your pathetic non-stabbing knife won’t get that close to me anyway.
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Did anyone notice the prices in the article? 40-50 pounds for these things. I’m pretty sure one pound is about $2, so you’re paying $80-$100 for an anti-stab knife and getting half the features of similar products (Wusthof Classic Pairing and Utility knives: $35 and $50 respectively, and can stab http://www.dillards.com/endeca/EndecaStartServlet?view=20&No=20&N=1590196).
“and has been tested with “very favourable” results by the Home Office’s Design and Technology Alliance”
Tested?
Favourable results?
Where can I get the results of those tests. No, screw the results! Where can I find the ad they placed to hire the testers!
Clearly this is part of a long-range marketing and distribution plan by Hasbro to unload excess Nerf merchandise and open new product lines.