Should We Learn from Monkeys?

Here’s how to open a banana like a monkey:

Apparently we’ve all been opening bananas inefficiently and monkeys know the proper way. Being that monkeys are evil and against all that is humanity, should we ever learn from their wisdom or would that make us evil as well?

I say we can learn from them. If their way of opening a banana is more efficient, that means if we use it we’ll be spending less time trying to open bananas and more time plotting the demise of monkeys. We can use their knowledge to help destroy them. So don’t be afraid of learning from monkeys as long at the ultimate goal is their end.

23 Comments

  1. This is BS! I don’t care how “efficient” it is, if you’re learning from monkeys, then you are a monkey!

    We can and must find a better way! We are humans! We will create a device that you can carry in your pocket – a device that creates a small nuclear exploison that, somehow (possibly due to science, but more likely due to the Will of the Gods of Nuclear Explosions and Other Big Booms), will open the banana for us!

    There is nothing that cannot be solved by a nuclear explosion!

  2. Ewwww! The gnarly end of the banana is staring you in the face and you must also glom up your hands to pinch off that end that is usually and mercifully left in the peel. It’s the end where all the flies lay their eggs, too. So, yeah, monkeys, good luck with that. Errgh.

  3. Total BS. I’ve seen monkeys eat bananas a million times – they squeeze one end and the banana shoots up in the air – then they catch it in their mouths as it falls. I used to see it all the time on those documentaries they showed on Saturday mornings when I was a kid.

  4. His friend, who is a girl, saw him “struggling” to open a banana? Umm…how embarrassing. Wouldn’t the proper response to such a sight be for his friend “Brittany” to bitch slap him and tell him to man up? I mean, really. He’s been “struggling” his whole adult life to open bananas? Wow…girly man.

  5. Monkeys? Bananas? Funky undershorts? There has got to be a Michael Jackson or Bill Clinton joke in here somewhere.

    I understand The Doctor likes bananas, and opens his with his sonic screwdriver. He doesn’t need no stinkin monkeys.

  6. This Youtube video brought to you by the O-bah-muhh Stimulus Package.>>>Monkeys taught me how to put condoms on bananas>>>Baboons taught this guy to paint his buttocks blue to drive the ladies wild.>>>True: monkeys taught the Egyptians how to’Walk like an Egyptian’ >>>The Samarai Produce Manager never opened his bananas like that.>>>Learn from monkeys? They need a Reproduction Center in Puerto Rico, and we’re supposed to learn from Monkeys? HAHAHAHAHA…!

  7. I have know about this for years – and the critical thing is that the banana tastes different when eaten from the blossom end –

    no joke – it is better tasting from the blossom end

  8. Egad, this is how I open bananas. I didn’t realize I was some sort of freak monkey boy, I just do it because it’s easier. But I guess, rather than change, I’ll just wait until I can get my meals in pill form like they’ve been promising for years.

  9. Even more efficient way to open a banana, and its good for the environment too!

    1. Get a banana
    2. Give a banana to a hippy panty-waste liberal sissy
    3. Punch hippy panty-waste liberal in the face
    4. Unload Glock into hippy.
    5. Pick up banana.
    6. Peel Banana
    7. Eat banana.

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