26 and 43

There are a couple of birthdays today of people important to me. But important for way different reasons. And in way different worlds.

In real life, my daughter turns 26 today.

And, if my online life, one of the bloggers for whom I have the utmost respect turns 43 today: yes, Harvey, we remembered.

Harvey may or may not have a post up today. Update: he does. And, his last one at his blog was a real serious one for 9/11. So, I’m unsure if I should wish him happy birthday here, or at his blog. I may do both.

But, now, it’s your problem. To figure out how to tell Harvey “happy birthday.” I’m sure you’ll think of something.

Thoughts on 9/11

I think I’ve ran out of useful things to say in the past eight years. Unfortunately, I believe most of the country has moved on. With calls now to get out of Afghanistan, it’s like we’ve forgotten what started everything in the first place.

The first World Trade Center bombing was supposed to be the unheeded wakeup call for 9/11, and now I’m afraid 9/11 will end up being the not completely heeded warning to something bigger. We as a country were changed by 9/11, but probably not enough to keep it from happening again.

My prayers are with the families of the victims.

Maybe He Should’ve Run For Cartographer Instead of Senator?

I never thought Al Franken was amusing as a comedian.

I considered him a dull, plodding abomination as a radio talk show host.

As a Senator, I’m willing to bet he’s gonna be just another partisan liberal dung heap.

But MAN! That guy can freehand draw a map of the US like nobody’s business:


[YouTube direct link]

Seriously, if I didn’t hate him on a deeply personal level, I’d give him a standing ovation and say “DUDE! That was freakin’ AWESOME!”.

Meet “Fred”

Note: I’m not sure if this will be my last post here or not, but I wanted to make sure to get this posted. Since tomorrow is a day more appropriate for quiet reflection than for silliness, I decided to put it up today…

Being a well-mannered guest, I thought it would be appropriate to give Frank J. a little gift as a token of appreciation for letting me blog here while he was off bagging the limit on hippies. But what to give the blogger who has everything?

Well, Frank, hold on to your butt…

Fred

Meet Fred!

Fred is a genetically engineered weaponized cyborg-dinosaur with a combination rocket launcher/nuclear-powered laser cannon mounted on his back, just like you always wanted!

Just remember, Frank, “All dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them want is love.” Oh, and hippies. Feed him hippies. Lots and lots of hippies! Just put up some signs around his pasture like “Free hemp! All you can carry!” and he’ll take care of the rest. His hunting instinct is keyed to the smell of Patchouli oil, so you and your friends should be safe, so long as none of you wave any commie flags or wear Che t-shirts near him. Oh… and for Heaven’s sake, whatever you do, never utter the phrase “Allahu akbar!”

Now, I know what you’re saying. “Sure, he looks cool, but does he really work?”

Well, I think a little demonstration may be in order…


[YouTube direct link]

So, be honest now, what do you think? Did we do good?

Best of all, our team of geneticists is currently putting the finishing touches on the female version of what we like to call the Awesom-o-saurus Wrexx! After “Sarah” has been hatched and raised to a proper age, we hope to breed her with “Fred” to create a new race of super weapons that will guarantee nobody ever again “squeetlebumkins” with the USA!

Enjoy, Frank! Take good care of him and remember to only point him at things you don’t want to see continuing to exist for more than a few seconds.

And thanks again for having me over, it’s been a blast!

And thanks also to Basil and Harvey for all their help this past week, and to all the readers here at IMAO. You guys rock!

Bye-bye, kids! Be sure to pop by and visit me at America is an Obamanation! and The Right Place once in a while.

Four Words From Obama

Fox News Legal Analyst Peter Johnson Jr. says he wants to hear 4 words from Obama:

“I hear you, America.”

He didn’t exactly read my mind on that one.

So let’s see… what 4 words would *I* want to hear from That One?


“I’m a ninja warrior!”

* “Here’s my birth certificate”

* “Michelle… that dress… tacky.”

* “Commie czars – all fired”

* “Ronald Reagan was right”

* “Let’s kill some terrorists!”

* “No more f@#$ing bailouts!”

* “I suck. I resign”

* “Michael Moore – shut up!”

* “Less taxing, less spending”

* “Southern border – BIG wall”

* “I’m sorry, Officer Crowley

* “Won’t run for re-election”


What four words do YOU want to hear from Obama?

WordPress and the worm

Sorry to interrupt teh funneh, but I wanted to throw this in…

Over at my little blog, I wrote about a serious piece about a WordPress worm that’s going around. It’s hit some major blogs so far.

If you have your own WordPress blog (NOT hosted at wordpress.com), you might want to give it a read. It might be useful.

If you don’t have a WordPress blog, you won’t care.

I’m from the government and I’m here to help you

The government has taken over the auto industry, banking, and is looking to take over health care.

But has the government done enough?

I don’t think they have. The government needs to do more. Just like there are people in this country who don’t have health care, there are people in this country who are going hungry.

Sure, there are food stamps. But there’s Medicare and Medicaid for health care assistance, but that’s not enough. Just like we need the government to take over health care, we need the government to take over the food industry.

We need to raise taxes to pay for a “public option” for restaurants.

My vision is for the Obama King restaurant to offer healthy choices for your dining experience. Like tofu. And salads. Lots and lots of salads. And no fried foods. Certainly no meat. A complete vegan menu, consisting of … plant parts.

But do call ahead to avoid the lines. It’ll take a year or two for McDonald’s, Hardee’s, Wendy’s, and all the little Mom and Pop restaurants to go out of business as people move to the public option. But, soon enough, the Obama King restaurants will be everywhere. Sure, you might have to wait a while, even if you call ahead. That is, after you are placed on hold for an hour or two, but your call will be answered in the order in which it was received.

Speaking of phones, it would be bad for you to have a cell phone when there are plenty of others who don’t have a cell phone. We need a public option. The government can provide cellular service. O-Mobile would be available to everyone.

But cell phones aren’t the only technology area where Americans have a gap. Not everyone has a computer. Sure, lots do, but many Americans don’t have a computer. And the government can help, by offering a public option. After a while, there will be no more PCs or Macs. No debate between Windows, OS X, or Linux. Most Americans will own government computers that run one OS: O-S (the Obama System).

However, having a government issued computer doesn’t mean as much if you don’t have Internet access. AT&T, Knology, MediaCom, and the other ISPs don’t get the job done. Many people don’t have Internet access. A government-run public option would solve that. ObamaNet would allow everyone to be on the Internet.

There are just a few of the many, many ways the government can solve your problems by taking control of your life.

I mean, if you were really competent to do things for yourself, you wouldn’t have elected Obama and the Democrats to power, would you?

Moonbat Martyrdom and the Maxed Out Race Card

iVan the Radical

As with any religion, Moonbattery has its share of martyrs.

The Fastest way to martyrdom in the Church of Moonbattery is to be exposed to the world at large as the left-wing fringe lunatic you are and to, as a direct result of such exposure, be chased out of a position of trust or authority.

That you are, in fact, a left-wing fringe lunatic is a given with these people. If you weren’t, they wouldn’t worship and adore you. It is the exposure of your true nature to too many sane, rational people that brings about your downfall, as the only way to advance Moonbattery is to successfully hide what you are up to from the masses long enough to do great damage to American society, just as it is written in the Moonbat Bible, Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals.

Such is the case with Van Jones, the much lamented ex-Czar of “Green Jobs.” Seven months into this mess of an administration, no one can point to a single job, green, orange, mauve, magenta, taupe or otherwise that this genius created with the $60 billion he was handed from the “stimulus” package, but no one on the left or in the media (but I repeat myself) seems to care about such trivialities.

Nope — it’s damage control time on Moonbattery’s front lines! The more people they can keep from learning the real truth about Van Jones, the less damage that will be done to the movement and their precious Obama Administration.

So to listen to them, when they will even deign to discuss it all, the reason Van Jones got towed away to the scrapyard was all due to a “vicious smear campaign” conducted by Glenn Beck, talk radio and right-wing bloggers. It had nothing whatsoever to do with his being a 9/11 “Truther” loon, nor did it have to do with his being an avowed Communist, nor his being a founding member of the Marxist radical group STORM, nor his naming his newborn son after a Communist revolutionary in 2006, nor his advocacy of freeing notorious cop-killer and far-left radical Mumia Abu-Jamal (with whom he cut a rather disgusting album, incidentally), nor his belief in a conspiracy by “whitey” to poison blacks with industrial pollution, etc., etc., etc.

Nope, all smoke and mirrors, kiddies! The reasons for Van Jones downfall according to the left? He dared to call Republicans a$$h@les (which, of course, everyone knows is true) in a video that got splashed around on YouTube, compared former President George W. Bush to a “crackhead” in yet another YouTube moment, oh, and of course…

RACISM!!!

That’s right, out comes the race card yet again. It really seems to be the only bullet left in their arsenal right now, doesn’t it?

You know what else is attributed to racism by the left?

Any and all criticism of Barack Obama, his administration, his proposals, his policies, his past, his associates, the neckties he wears, the brand of shampoo he uses, his method of holding his fork while eating his waffles…

RACISM!!! RACISM!!! RACISM!!!

There is not one blessed thing on this earth that anyone could rationally disagree with this turkey or the rest of his witless drones about that would not get them labelled as “racists.”

I bet you didn’t even realize that the real reason you and I do not support Obama’s health care plan is because we don’t want poor black people and Hispanics to have free medical care. And here we were deluding ourselves into thinking it was because of the outrageous cost; the further over-empowerment of an already far too powerful government; the massive, crushing debt; the potential severe and permanent damage to the economy; the likelihood of an eventual end to all private insurance plans; the inevitable rationing of care; the unavoidable reduction of the overall quality of what is today the finest health care system in the entire world (not to mention a whole host of other very real concerns).

Nope, we’re all just a bunch of racists.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it! The time has come for us, as the responsible adults in this political family, to take away junior’s race card.

The race card is maxed out and you’re not able to keep up with the payments anymore. You were warned time and again to only use it in a real emergency when real, actual racism was around and threatening to harm people, but instead you just kept whipping it out during every petty argument you ever got into with someone who didn’t agree with your politics and kept on running up the bill. Well, enough is enough, children. You’ve been totally irresponsible with it and we’re just not letting you use it anymore, so hand it over!

Race Card Snip

Now go to your room!