Palin gave some sort of speech over the weekend. I guess it went really really well because instead of the left seizing on anything said in it, they spotted that Sarah Palin had written notes on her hand and went crazy over that. So conservatives are supposed to be dangerous and evil and the best they have right now is that one of them wrote something on her hand.
But is there still the possibility of Sarah Palin becoming president? I don’t know; she writes stuff on her hand. That’s not very presidential. Obama would never write stuff on his hand unless the teleprompter told him to. So Palin is dangerous and stupid and writes stuff on her hand; I don’t think people are going to elect her. My choice for 2012 is still Dick Cheney. Obama is inexperienced and everyone likes him, so I think the perfect antidote would be someone who is experienced and everyone hates. And Cheney is very careful at making sure everyone hates him. Once someone turned to Cheney and said, “Know what? I kind of like you.” And then Cheney blasted him in the face with a shotgun.
Still, maybe I’m too harsh on Palin. Lots of politicians actually write reminders on their hands. Here’s what some other politicians have had written:
Nancy Pelosi: don’t bite children
Barney Frank: remember the letter ‘r’
Barack Obama: read teleprompter
Harry Reid: try not to look like death
John McCain: resist urge to violently attack conservatives
Joe Biden: purple monkey dishwasher
Fred Thompson: if you can read this, you’re already dead
George W. Bush: noo-cu-lar
John Murtha: try not to look like death… FAIL!
Nancy Pelosi wrote reetard.
You’re right Tim! John Murtha has gone to that great taxpayer funded pork barrel in the sky.
Sarah Palin was dissed not because she relied on talking points written on her hand — but because she relied on talking points written on her hand right after criticizing President Obama for being charasmatic and using a teleprompter (or maybe she was criticizing President Ronald Reagan who one of the most skilled users of teleprompters the political world has ever seen.) Also, she didn’t write any ole stuff on her hand. She wrote what she considers the three major beliefs of the Republican Party, things she’s talked about over and over again. If she can’t remember them, then who should?
[Wow, are you guys sensitive about the teleprompter jokes. -Ed.]
Gibbs writes notes on his feet: “Keep away from mouth”
Man debating Joe Lieberman: “JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!”
Markos Moulitsas: “Bite more children”
Barack Obama: “Don’t get all wee wee’d up”
Harry Reid: “Don’t forget to wear pants when you vote.”
Robert Gibbs: “Don’t say something stupid today”
O-Bots: “Troll Right Wing Blogs, and Fling Poo.”
Bill Clinton: “Avoid Hillary, Get Lewinski’d”
I was going to add my own, but I don’t think I can match the ones already here, including the comments. Some great stuff people. The Joe Biden one cracks me up.
John McCain: Name:John McCain Rank:Lt.Cdr. Ser. #:624787
Sarah Palin’s Nashville speech was the most significant oration of the 21st century.
See:
http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2010/02/09/tennessee-tea-party-sarahs-sassy-speech/
Joe Biden: “I will not plagiarize, I will not plagiarize, I will not plagiarize…..”
Michelle Obama: “Must… resist…Fist…of…Death”
MARY…. do you really believe that drivel you posted? I don’t recall Palin as ever being portrayed by the MSM as a “masterful public speaker.” Obama cant even read a sentence off the teleprompter without inserting a “UM” or “AH” or long silence and that is where the rub with BAMA’s wonderful oration mad “skillz” comes into play. Now the real question is… are you obtuse or just too intellectually weak to understand this concept?
So after a year of getting his ass handed to him (ala needing a teleprompter to address kindergarteners) and still having the speaking skills of a 8th grader, the SOCIALISTS see an opening to denigrate an opposition member. See I really don’t begrudge anyone for using an outline or notes of any sort to deliver a speech. What I do begrudge the socialists is the fact that the “greatest speaker evah” cannot even read his own material without the inevitable failure in diction and yet the inaccurate portrayal is still being promoted…. so as far as I’m concerned you socialist nuggets can continue down your current path…… I have a feeling that the next picture you see of Ms. Palin’s hand will be one depicting the one finger salute after you get your asses handed to you in the coming elections…… How’s that HOPE & CHANGE working out for ya?
Obama Charismatic? Only if your dumb enough to fall for a Used Car salesmans charisma.
Oh and Mary….. the Tea Partiers are coming to get you and yours….Muwahahahahahahaha……
Barack Hussein Obama: ” Allahu Akbar”
Rahm Emanuel: “F***ing Retards!”
George Soros: “Destroy U.S. economy before 2008 election”
Terrible Troy:”Resist urge to laugh maniacally at libtard socialist troll” -EPIC FAIL!! BWAAAHAAAHAABWAAHAA!!!
Joe Biden: purple monkey dishwasher
In Bident’s defense, that saved his life one time.
Poor Mary Jane Prodon. Here she was, so happy about hope and change, waiting for her new sparkly unicorn to arrive, and instead she woke up and found out that the Obama presidency was just a cruel frat-boy prank on the world. I’d be bitter if I were her too. It hasn’t been easy on Mary. All the pretty girls had dates. All the pretty girls had friends. But what about Mary? When does Mary get to go on a date with someone who doesn’t drool? Well, here was this friendly, exotic Kenyan citizen promising her that would all happen, yet now here she sits…alone…still…with her cats.
So, you can understand why she’s lashing out at the pretty, smart girl. It’s just not fair that Sarah Palin is both pretty and smart, while Mary’s…well, not. Well, don’t worry Mary Jane, you’ll find something you’re good at someday. And, with corrective surgery, maybe children won’t laugh at you in the grocery store like the girls did in 9th grad gym class (yes, yes, I know…you’ll get even with them all someday…whatever). A suggestion: being a good liberal, you might want to try chicks. Well, not real chicks. I mean, the dykes that wear Birkenstocks. I’ve seen a lot of them, and they’re clearly not picky. And, if you kind of squint your eyes a little bit, some of them could pass for guys, like that fella on MSNBC.
So, you keep your head up Mary Jane. If you work hard enough to believe, who knows, it just might come true. Sometimes miracles really do happen. You might have a unicorn. Or, a date. Maybe.
Mary Jane Prodon is Ellie Light.
purple monkey dishwasher could be a cool name for a band.
People I would have loved to see what they had written on their hand:
Scott Brown – From his daughter “Dad stop worrying about my singing career”
Mitt Romney- drivers name is Jeeves he likes peanut butter
Mrs Biden – Strike Joe Biden in case of Emergency (note whenever he opens his mouth)
Mrs Obama – put in the air if someone disagrees with you
Katie Couric – your skin and hair are flammable stay away from open flames
Sarah Palin – use this hand in inappropriate ways on “Shiggz”
Mary Joe P – Liberals good Conservatives evil
Shiggz – stop typing half funny stuff no one reads
I think we could milk this for a few good days.
purple monkey dishwasher could be a cool name for a band.
or “Purple Monkey Hurlage” hehe
Mary Jo much of what you think you know about conservatives is distorted truth designed to inflame and confuse you. Here is a few Conservative truths that go against Liberal articles of faith. You know the things you tell yourself are the reasons your the good guys whenever liberal scandals slip through the media net.
-C. give more to charity then American or European Liberals by large amounts.
-C. do not like big business monopolies either especially when its in bed with Government.
-C. are very for punishing police officers and soldiers who clearly abused their power. (tie goes to the good guys when its a known criminal)
-C. dont think the free markets or democracy are always super awesome or always right, only that they have the structural ability to be self correcting. This makes them much more long-term “sustainable” then government command and control.
-The civil war was about racism like the Iraq war was about WMD
-C. aren’t against welfare assisting people temporarily in times of need. We are against permanent no questions asked dependence that decimates people and cultures.
-The Crusades were a late response after Islam had just conquered most of Europe
-C. dont want their church leaders running the government and they dont want the government controlling their church leaders.
-C. know real martyrs are dead or daily harassed by national and international media for objecting to their agenda. Not trolling conservative humor websites while sitting in Starbucks waiting for their allowance check from their Mom.
As always pardon the spelling and grammar I was raised by hippies and educated by the government.
#13 – Mike Licht,
You said that already.
Get a new joke.
troll
I don’t know, maybe I’m just stupid, maybe I’m just dumb or maybe I’m just old. Well I am old, but I have been writing things on my hand for the last gagillion years. I do it because sometimes I don’t have paper, some times I’m in a hurry but mostly it’s because there are some things I just HAVE to remember and I haven’t yet put my hand down and left it somewhere. Really I have never misplaced my hand and missed someone’s doctors apt., not paid the mortgage, forgotten to pick up a child or missed an exam.
But hey I realize that all democrats and many republicans( apparently) are totally perfect, they never forget anything and armed with their blackberries, lackeys, sycophants and hanger-on-ers they are practically perfect in every way. This is why the Tea Party folks love Sarah, she doesn’t pretend to be one of them, she doesn’t apologize for them, she is one of them or in my case one of us. The best way to know that one is doing the right thing is how out of control those who champion the wrong things get whenever someone even mentions ones name. With that rule Sarah is the best thing to happen to the US since Reagan.
(Ok,ok, don’t let your little head explode all over your computer. It makes a mess and gets the keyboard all sticky)
Oh sorry one more little thing, there is a world of difference between writing a couple of words on one’s hand and reading a prepared speech from a tele-prompter to 6th graders. If nothing else the President of the United States should be able to give a speech without reading it verbatum. I wouldn’t care if he used notes, after all his words will be passed around the world with in minutes but seriously. Even junior high school children can give speeches using 3X5 cards, really. Surely the smartest man in the world should be able to do so.
Question: Did he teach using a tele-prompter when he taught his Law class? Did he pass his law questions using his laptop? How did he expect to try cases in court without his crutch? All interesting questions.
FrankJ, I like your suggestion of Cheney for 2012. Could we get Rumsfeld as a running mate? Then we’d have a ticket!
Cheney is already president of my Heart! <3
Obama is already president of my butt ()j() (lol, i just thought that up)
Bill Clinton:
RIGHT HAND:Wanna have sex while we eat pizza?
LEFT HAND:What’s wrong, don’t like pizza?
Thompson/Cheney 2012
It would be worth it just to watch all the liberals sh*t a brick whenever they see the campaign signs. Or else they would just get so angry that their heads would explode. Either way it would be hysterical
Written on Cheney’s hand:
find new undisclosed location (since Biden gave away the old one http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/05/18/biden-reveals-location-secret-vp-bunker/)