WaxTadpole presents: “It all makes sense now”,
Take a hippie-punch at fame by creating your own IMAO-worthy video at Xtranormal (“If you can type, you can make movies“). Send a link to harvolson-at-gmail.com and I’ll give it a look. If it isn’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, I’ll post it and let the readers throw roses and/or tomatoes at you.
Hackers stole carbon credits in Europe!
Yeah, I have no idea how that works. So are we more polluted now?
Anyway, since the governments in Europe made carbon credits pretty much mandatory, people decided to steal them if they aren’t like actual things. And the hackers didn’t stop there. Here’s the other things they stole:
* Unicorns
* Magic beans
* The personal information of all honest lawyers
* The money Bill Gates was going to send everyone if they forwarded his e-mail
* The “peace” in Islam
* A six-foot rabbit named Harvey
* Our strategic reserve of griffins
* The jobs Obama saved or created
If the hackers stole anything from you, report it to the FBI or your nearest leprechaun.
So NBC had a big kerfuffle over having fried chicken and collard greens being served in the cafeteria in honor of black history month. I had something similar at college one year where the black cafeteria staff picked the menu for Martin Luther King Day and the results were the very racist fried chicken and collard greens. When we saw the announcement for it, we at first thought it was a joke in very poor taste, but despite our reservations we did eat it because, you know, it was fried chicken and collard greens.
I don’t really get food racism. It seems really really racist if someone makes a remark about blacks and fried chicken, though logically there is nothing to be ashamed about if you like fried chicken. I guess the problem was it was used in minstrel shows as a something about blacks to make fun of, and thus the history of it as part of a racial slur. So, if it all seems silly, blame racists; they ruin everything.
If I were black, what I’d do is go to order at KFC and as soon as I was told the menu I’d shout, “Why do you think I want fried chicken, you racist honkey!” Heh. Stupid honkeys.
I still have no idea what collard greens are, though.
So apparently it wasn’t the Secret Service that ran over Treacher; it was the State Department. So Hillary Clinton wants him dead. And here’s how they phrased it:
At approximately 7:10 PM last night, a jogger collided with one of the U.S. Department of State, Diplomatic Security Service’s official vehicles.
So, he ran into them! Jim Treacher is loose in DC, running into SUVs!
And, despite him crossing at the crosswalk while the light was telling him to cross, they gave him a ticket for jaywalking. So it’s like, “Sorry we ran you over and broke your knee, but pay us this fine.” Except without the “sorry” part.
Anyway, I hope Treacher gets better soon and then attacks more State Department SUVs.
Future Headline: “Unexpectedly, Joblessness Fell as Expected”
If carbon credits were stolen, does that mean the world is now more polluted?
Hackers stole my invisible platypus named Dave!
Stolen carbon credits, demon sheep, the government trying to kill Jim Treacher — I warned you this would happen if Obama was elected.
Had an MLK day once at college where the black cafeteria staff picked the menu. The results were very racist.
I never got food based racism. It sounds really offensive, but when I logically think about it I don’t get the slight.
I wish everyday was Mexican appreciation day at the cafeteria.
“To avoid the possibility of racism, the NBC cafeteria will refuse to serve black people on fried chicken day.”
“During White People History Month, everything will be served with mayo.”
I guess racism ruined fried chicken day at the NBC cafeteria, but I’m kinda confused on whose racism it was.
Now that we’ve taken care of racism in the NBC cafeteria, I think that’s it. We’ve taken care of all racism.
Obama may be a carnivorous lizard wearing a human’s skin, but at least he’s not a demon sheep.
