Sorta. I mentioned before that Captain America seemed to be taking on the Tea Party, but now Marvel wants to make it clear that the people Captain America would be fighting aren’t part of the Tea Party. If they really want to make things up, though, they should have Captain America punch out Obama for being a socialist and then appoint Dick Cheney to president who will then give a bunch of no-bid contract to Stark Industries. And Bruce Banner should join the protest and hulk-out anytime someone mentions a public option.

Guess what the lying liars at the White House are doing again.

No, not playing Mario Kart. That was a stupid guess. You’re stupid.

They’re lying!

An episode of the Iron Chef on the Food Network claimed it was using vegetables from the White House garden, but it was all lies.

Why won’t the White House tell the truth to the American people? Probably because the truth is they’re liars, and you can’t tell the truth about being a liar because then you’d be a truth-teller making it a lie to say you’re a liar… so it’s like a paradox.

Anyway, Michelle Obama says the reason they didn’t use the actual vegetables from the White House garden is that fat kids snuck in and ate them all. I don’t buy that, though; fat kids don’t eat vegetables. I think the White House garden is all really plastic plants and Michelle Obama just goes out there to drink a watering pail full of Vodka.

Just so you know, Michelle Obama has declared childhood obesity a national security issue, so if you see any fat kids, report them to the FBI. If you think this isn’t serious, just imagine what 24 would be like if every time he was running someplace to stop terrorists, there were a bunch of fat kids waddling around in his way? Everyone would die.

Also, did you know that by 2025, scientists predict there will be so many fat kids that Twinkies will be almost unobtainable by the average man? This is an issue that effects everyone. I hope you’re taking it seriously. The White House sure is, and has even started replacing blaming Bush with blaming fat kids. Like when more job losses were announced, the White House said it was because fat kids ate them all.

Fat kiiiiiiids!!!!!!

Liking to encourage humor in politics, I should point out these GOP Valentine’s Day Cards are surprising clever. I expect anything from an officially entity like the RNC to be epic lame — like every joke went through a committee lame — but most of these are actually witty.