Secret Garden of Lies

Guess what the lying liars at the White House are doing again.

No, not playing Mario Kart. That was a stupid guess. You’re stupid.

They’re lying!

An episode of the Iron Chef on the Food Network claimed it was using vegetables from the White House garden, but it was all lies.

Why won’t the White House tell the truth to the American people? Probably because the truth is they’re liars, and you can’t tell the truth about being a liar because then you’d be a truth-teller making it a lie to say you’re a liar… so it’s like a paradox.

Anyway, Michelle Obama says the reason they didn’t use the actual vegetables from the White House garden is that fat kids snuck in and ate them all. I don’t buy that, though; fat kids don’t eat vegetables. I think the White House garden is all really plastic plants and Michelle Obama just goes out there to drink a watering pail full of Vodka.

13 Comments

  1. Easy on Michelle Frank. This the first time in her life that she is proud of her garden (even though it’s her first garden). And the real reason they didn’t use her vegetables is that White House worms got to them. The worms are all over the damn place.

  2. How much longer until front loaders are no longer needed to open my driveway and I can listen to the birdies sing while I plant my sunflowers? Not even Obama can ruin the peace of gardening. He and Michelle are just too angry for it. She likely thinks sunflowers are a shade plant.

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