Jim Treacher Update

So apparently it wasn’t the Secret Service that ran over Treacher; it was the State Department. So Hillary Clinton wants him dead. And here’s how they phrased it:

At approximately 7:10 PM last night, a jogger collided with one of the U.S. Department of State, Diplomatic Security Service’s official vehicles.

So, he ran into them! Jim Treacher is loose in DC, running into SUVs!

And, despite him crossing at the crosswalk while the light was telling him to cross, they gave him a ticket for jaywalking. So it’s like, “Sorry we ran you over and broke your knee, but pay us this fine.” Except without the “sorry” part.

Anyway, I hope Treacher gets better soon and then attacks more State Department SUVs.

16 Comments

  1. I wonder if the witnesses to his being struck while legally crossing in a crosswalk will come forward and help blow the lid off this case? I’d love to see Hillary squirm and cry again as a little pre-2012 campaign hopes-dashing.

  2. Jim Treacher is obviously a threat to Hillary’s plans for world domination, come 2012. Why, I bet Jim Treacher isn’t even his REAL name.
    I see a closed wing of a Psych Ward in ‘Jim Treacher’s future. Eyelids taped open, duct taped to a wheel chair, injected with ‘gravy for the brain’.
    Oh yeah, and if the surgeon scheduled to ‘operate’ on him is named Dr. Jonas, bite his nose, escape, and go buy ‘Catcher In The Rye,.

  3. Actually, they tend to run down pets first, at least in Illinois. Or run your car off the road in blacked-out windowed vehicles.
    One detail you missed – the ticket said he ran into the SUV four blocks away from where the accident actually happened.
    Apparently he has superpowers.

    I’d love to know the identity of the driver, and anyone else associated with the case who can be pinned with anything at all. If the courts don’t get them, well, I wonder what the next massive tea party protest group would do if any of them decided to take a field trip to their homes or places of employment. With signs. And maybe SUVs. Just sayin’.

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