MSNBC is looking for an editor who “knows America.” This is good that MSNBC is now interested in America, but I’d be worried that anyone who actually knows America wouldn’t know to be wary of a job with MSNBC. If they’re hiring someone to work with Olbermann, I’d just make the sole job requirement that the person is able to keep a straight face.
Well, apparently that means that they realize that no one currently employed there does know America, or they wouldn’t need to bring in an expert.
“Applicant will be required to bring proof of recent Immunizations. The positions within 50 feet of Olberman will need regular Rabies shots. These will be covered by MSNBC up-to but not to exceed 3 per year.”
Isn’t it homophobic to worry about whether someone’s face is straight?
MSNBC resume sample.
Bob Q. Evil
Phone: (111) 111-1111
Certified hack/Fruity mixed drink specialist
Well qualifed hack with background in reading Chomsky and with 2 years of experience in calling sick in order to sit in a bathtub. Areas of strength include:
* Bloviating
* Pontifiacting
* Breathing
Work History
* Cashier – Wal-Mart – Danbury, CT. Employment terminated. Sexual harassment suit filed.
* Porsche maintenance – Danbury, CT. Cleaned Dad’s Porsche as punishment for forcing him to help with financial losses.
* Casting couch – MSNBC headquarters.
Statement
“America is, like, a place where, like, um, there’s stuff that, like, happens and, like, Bush, you know. But now, there’s, like, this Obama guy and he’s, like, really great, you know? LOL Teabaggers lolz. Haha. Like, organic is great too. There’s totally not enough Whole Foods in this crummy city.”
And here I thought the Sole job requirement was to lay flat, on the bottom of the sea, blend in with the environment,
keeping a lookout with Geico-stack-of-money eyes, eating small crustacieans and invertibrates. 8)
Maybe they mean “knowing” something in the Biblical sense, like Obama is “knowing” the taxpayers.
Sof of Bob is correct. This is an admission that pmsnbc has no Amercians on staff, The job must come with kevlar, rabies shots, and cattle prods.and a free che t-shirt.
We want the highest ethics and a sense of fairness.
Aaaaahahahahahahaha.
I’ve always wanted to punch give Olberblown a big hippie face punch. I am applying for the job in the hope that I may fulfill my destiny. Are there any other perks?
ommit 1st punch and the sentence is almost grammatically…oh never mind.
#4: Areas of strength in a bathtub: bloviating, pontificating and breathing?
As I read your comment, “efluveating, defecating, and rubber duckying” also came to mind for the Bathtub Boy.
I think Marco has pretty well summed it up.
.,,…although LFOD and Storm1911 are running a close second.
Maddow couldn’t keep a straight face
while working with Olby.
Botox couldn’t straighten out that smirk now.
If that Richard fella (as son of bob says) punched the effeminate Olberman would that be male-female violence?
Boy they both encapsulate the modern liberal culture don’t they. The effeminate beta male/alpha female that merges female bitchiness and scorn with male aggression.
When it comes to people like that i find peace in thinking I would rather live with them then to be them.
Actually, they couldn’t care less about America – they’re looking for someone who knows America Ferrera.
Olbermann thinks she’s super hot.
Who knew that movie ‘Network’ would be so prophetic?
“I’m as Mad as Hell and I’m Not going to take it anymore!!!11!!!1!”