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I’m watching this health care debacle, much as I’ve done for the last – what… year now? – and I’m trying to understand the dynamics.
I don’t know how many times it’s been proposed, amended, introduced, and re-introduced since it first set its diseased, cloven hoof on the political scene. I’ve also lost count of how many times it’s been rejected in Town Halls, protests, polls, and elections.
All I know is that it comes at us and we kill it
Then it gets back up & keeps coming.
Obviously Obamacare is some species of undead monster. And if Hollywood has taught me anything (besides the fact that the Superman franchise in unsalvageable now matter how many times you re-boot it), it’s that all undead monsters can be re-deadified, but you have to do it right.
For example:
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Werewolves: silver bullet
Zombies: head shot
Vampires***: cross, garlic, silver, sunlight, decapitation, wooden stake through the heart, immolation.
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Upon searching this list for common denominators, it seems that a silver bullet to the head would pretty much kill anything.
Thus the only remaining problem is finding the head on a 18-inch tall stack of papers covered in socialistic lawyer-speak, a task akin to finding the head on a tribble.
Sadly, however, it could be that health care bills – being headless – are simply impervious to standard re-deadification techniques, meaning that we’re dealing with some sort of Michael Myers/Jason Vorohees/Freddy Krueger thing.
Now, I haven’t seen all 27 of those movies, so I’m a little fuzzy on the complete list of techniques attempted, other than to note that nothing that was tried actually worked.
So, if all else fails, we’ll probably just have to take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
*** Re: Sparkly Vampires – By definition, sparkly vampires are not real vampires, much as iron pyrite (which is also sparkly) is not real gold. As far as I know, the only way to get rid of sparkly vampires is to throw the DVD in the microwave and hit the “popcorn” button.