Before cable, was everyone just unable to watch most Olympic events?
If there were mascots like Admiral Ackbar when I was a kid, I would have been more interested in sports.
The first clue of danger is that it’s called the “killer” whale and not the “hugging” whale. Also fear the “humpback” whale.
I don’t know what a “beluga” whale does and I don’t want to know. I don’t even want to mention Moby Dick’s species.
Democrats believe they need to pass a health care bill to allow the mothership hiding behind the comet to take their souls.
Once we really understand man-made global warming, maybe we can use it as a weapon against enemy planets.
You don’t even have to leave the solar system before light becomes too slow for any practical purposes. How would you like it to take hours for your tweets to appear? That’s what tweeting from Pluto would be like.
“Middle of the 11th end of an exciting game and… let’s break for commercial!” Hate NBC. I hope they choke on their Leno.
“Voltron” is not an acceptable Scrabble word? That sucks.
Crazy pants gets you silver.
Many liberals seem go on a lot about how conservatives can’t be funny, which ironically makes them seem very angry and humorless.
Chimps are funny. Are they trying to assert that chimps are liberals?
I think chimps are liberals. I do want to punch them.
I just thought of a way to way to make people invisible: super heat them until they become a gas.
Woo! Who knew hockey could be as exciting as curling?!
Can’t feel too bad about losing to Canada at hockey; they were just the better team. Hard to imagine us ever beating them.