lolbama! Part 35

This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


From Clark:

From Crap Sorter:

From Crap Sorter:

From Rhett:


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Yale:

[It’s not an iPhone, it’s a Max-iPad ~ Harvey]

From Adam:

From Adam:

From Chuck:

From Gregg:

From JW:

From Paragon_64:

[reference link]

From Peregrine John:

From Raml:

From Wacky Hermit of Organic Baby Farm:


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with (Hat tip: Crap Sorter):

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Nancy’s got a secret

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA-8) says she wants the health care bill passed so we can see what’s in it.


[Direct link]
Tip: Don Surber

Yes, she actually said:

But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it

[Full transcript]

Why can’t she tell us? Because she doesn’t know? Because she hasn’t read it?

Well, there’s something in it. At around 2,074 pages — remember, they’re going to vote on the Senate bill — there has to be lots of stuff.

But what is in the bill that Pelosi is so excited about?

What else might be in there?

The Importance of Honesty

Sean Penn thinks that people who call Hugo Chavez a dictator should be imprisoned. Yeah, I know, but really I just find this all kind of sad. This can probably be traced back to someone telling Sean Penn, “Wow, you’re smart!” and he didn’t catch the sarcasm. And since then Penn has made more and more statements and it’s all just ballooned from there. That’s the problem with Hollywood. In most places, useless, stupid people get constantly reminded of how useless and stupid they are and thus never develop self-esteem which they really should never have. But in Hollywood, useless stupid people can get rich and famous and then lack the people honest enough to tell them what morons they are. If when Sean Penn first started making political statements he was met with nothing but, “Shut up, you moron!”, he’d be a much happier person now.

Know Thy Enemy: Government-Run Health Care

President Obama is working really hard to enact a health care plan, and we all know this is just his first step towards complete control of health care by the government. Thus, I thought I’d send my crack research team to find out all they can about government-run health care.

FUN FACTS ABOUT GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE

* The reason some think the government should take over health care is because they think health care is a right, but instead of an oppressive government infringing on that right, it’s economics and reality.

* Government-run health care is being pushed right now because of the crisis of the uninsured, a crisis America has been suffering for about 233 years.

* For a while now, Canada has had government-run health care, meaning the costs of health care have to be balanced with all other government expenses. Usually a hundred people are denied a doctor’s care anytime the curling teams need to purchase new stones.

* If you find yourself surrounded by government-run health care, don’t worry; it will probably just ignore you, even if you’re in need of emergency care.

* There are worries that government-run health care could lead to lower quality doctors, but doctors should be happy to work for lower pay as long as we can repeal the 13th Amendment.

* Proponents of government-run health care say that death panels will never become a reality… just as long as the bureaucrats running health care don’t realize, “Hey, if sick people just died, we’d save lots of money.”

* Wolverine’s self-healing ability was evolved in response to Canada’s government-run health care.

* Rationing could mean that people thinking of escaping a reality controlled by computers may no longer have the option of both the red and the blue pill.

* President Obama says having the government create the new entitlement of health care will actually save us money. This is because he plans to enact it on opposite day.

* If you think you see government-run health care killing people, don’t panic. Instead, just think of all the savings.

* Liberals want you to know that the government taking over 16% of the economy won’t affect your freedom. They also want to remind you that a happy attitude about it will be factored into rationing.

* The Clintons tried to enact government-run health care in the ’90s, but it ended up that half of the proposed bill were sketches by Bill Clinton of what the nurses’ uniform should look like.

* In a fight between government-run health care and Aquaman, Aquaman would die from being out of the water for too long while waiting for a simple blood test.

* Star Trek shows what a future of universal health care will look like. Basically, if you don’t get good care, someone will go back in time and retcon you out of existence.

* If given a chance, government-run health care will kill you, your family, and everyone you care about. Then again, it’s completely free.

* Despite all the changes, liberals will make sure the most basic right in health care won’t be affected: the ability of a trial lawyer to make millions of dollars in malpractice suits.

* Government-run health care is going to fix health care by making sure your needs are no longer determined by a heartless corporation but instead by a heartless bureaucrat who also has the power to imprison you if you don’t do as he says.

Random Thoughts

They warn about Tea Party violence, but if you disagree with liberals they’ll approach you in the shower and poke you.

Last time I was in Canada I was all creeped out how it was very like the U.S. but not quite the same. Uncanny valley.

Would be awesome if after Obama says, “The time for talk is over!” the crowd shouted in unison, “Then shut up!”

Problem solved

And now a word from our sponsor…


[Direct link]
Tip: The New Editor