Know Thy Enemy: Government-Run Health Care

President Obama is working really hard to enact a health care plan, and we all know this is just his first step towards complete control of health care by the government. Thus, I thought I’d send my crack research team to find out all they can about government-run health care.

FUN FACTS ABOUT GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE

* The reason some think the government should take over health care is because they think health care is a right, but instead of an oppressive government infringing on that right, it’s economics and reality.

* Government-run health care is being pushed right now because of the crisis of the uninsured, a crisis America has been suffering for about 233 years.

* For a while now, Canada has had government-run health care, meaning the costs of health care have to be balanced with all other government expenses. Usually a hundred people are denied a doctor’s care anytime the curling teams need to purchase new stones.

* If you find yourself surrounded by government-run health care, don’t worry; it will probably just ignore you, even if you’re in need of emergency care.

* There are worries that government-run health care could lead to lower quality doctors, but doctors should be happy to work for lower pay as long as we can repeal the 13th Amendment.

* Proponents of government-run health care say that death panels will never become a reality… just as long as the bureaucrats running health care don’t realize, “Hey, if sick people just died, we’d save lots of money.”

* Wolverine’s self-healing ability was evolved in response to Canada’s government-run health care.

* Rationing could mean that people thinking of escaping a reality controlled by computers may no longer have the option of both the red and the blue pill.

* President Obama says having the government create the new entitlement of health care will actually save us money. This is because he plans to enact it on opposite day.

* If you think you see government-run health care killing people, don’t panic. Instead, just think of all the savings.

* Liberals want you to know that the government taking over 16% of the economy won’t affect your freedom. They also want to remind you that a happy attitude about it will be factored into rationing.

* The Clintons tried to enact government-run health care in the ’90s, but it ended up that half of the proposed bill were sketches by Bill Clinton of what the nurses’ uniform should look like.

* In a fight between government-run health care and Aquaman, Aquaman would die from being out of the water for too long while waiting for a simple blood test.

* Star Trek shows what a future of universal health care will look like. Basically, if you don’t get good care, someone will go back in time and retcon you out of existence.

* If given a chance, government-run health care will kill you, your family, and everyone you care about. Then again, it’s completely free.

* Despite all the changes, liberals will make sure the most basic right in health care won’t be affected: the ability of a trial lawyer to make millions of dollars in malpractice suits.

* Government-run health care is going to fix health care by making sure your needs are no longer determined by a heartless corporation but instead by a heartless bureaucrat who also has the power to imprison you if you don’t do as he says.

17 Comments

  1. You can write all the nice things about this healthcare you want ….. but just the thought that the gubmint wants its dirty little fingers in this particular pie scares me to the corpse. Can anyone think of a thing that the govt has implemented that went smoothly right out of the gate? Then there is thier track record of running such operations as the VA, Medicaid, USPS, IRS, Social Security…….and yet there are those that say my lack of confidence in the govt is unreasonable, or driven by RAAAAACISSM, or Im bitter at my life circumstances.

    Tis ISNT about Healthcare boys & girls… this is about something evil…. and we need to kill it now

  2. We need to get IMAo tv ads with Frank reading his list. Fred Thompson can glare in the background for intimidation effect. With Frank’s voice and frad’s stare maybe, just maybe, the folks out there will get the point. This is good work, Frank.

  3. With Obamacare and its mandatory Death Panels Organ Retrieval Program, our organ exports to China will help reduce deficits pay-off our debt line the pockets of Department of Commerce employees.

  4. Government run health care is going to fix health care by making sure your needs are no longer determined by a heartless corporation but instead by a heartless bureaucrat who also has the power to imprison you if you don’t do as he says.

    That one’s not so much funny but true.

  5. I don’t know what you are talking about. Just today I saw a clip of Dude Looks Like A Lady Maddow saying that there was no such thing as death panels. She seemed pretty sure….apparently it’s so ridiculous she doesn’t even need to dignify it with a response containing facts.

  6. I have a solution to the entire “problem”, take all the free insurance that people who don’t work get and give it to the people who do.
    Then, when anyone says..we have 50 million people who don’t have insurance, people can say, well of course they don’t, they don’t work.

    They’ve been talking about this for years and I figured it out in like 10 seconds.

  7. “For a while now, Canada has had government run health care, meaning the costs of health care have to be balanced with all other government expenses. Usually a hundred people are denied a doctor’s care anytime the curling teams needs to purchase new stones.”

    Not quite… in Canada they wait until kidney stones grow large enough to actually use in Olympic Curling before their hospitals are allowed to remove them. 😉

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